Lavender Ethos will you be in heaven smiling down?

Maybe she should have finished the story before she'd stopped, before he had the chance to place the blame on himself. Inna felt it would only make things worse for him if he knew what had been said. She didn't want to tell him because she didn't want to make it worse when he already felt so bad. Another part of her wanted to tell him so that he could understand it all, he was a part of her life and she felt they were closer than they had ever been. She felt he deserved to know but the question was would it really benefit either of them to know? Perhaps now just wasn't the right time, maybe later after Alek had been gone awhile and the wounds weren't so deep.

Unfortunately her actions following his question only showed how much she didn't want to tell him. Her lowered, curled up posture felt unnatural to her to be in this position but she couldn't help herself. She felt badly that she couldn't tell him more and maybe if it hadn't been so bad and had such an effect on her she could have told him. It was the effect it had on her that was the biggest reason. She didn't want him to blame himself for what had happened to her when she and Alek had argued or later. She did not see him look at her as she did everything she could to avoid eye contact with him and in that moment she wanted to take their daughter and hide in her den. She couldn't, they had promised each other and she hated broken promises, especially her own.

The curl of his lip and show of his fangs caused her to take another step back from him, she did not know what he was feeling. Though she trusted he wouldn't hurt her she couldn't imagine he wasn't at least a little angry with her. Everything she had said to him she believed to be the truth and she hoped that he could see that it was Alek that had done this to himself. She certainly wouldn't say that the two of them didn't have their part either but it certainly wasn't as significant as the role Alek played in his own downfall. To her it was her brother who had torn her family apart because he couldn't get over himself and think of his niece or his sister. Sick or not it bothered her that he had cared for Karina more which was made obvious by his treatment of the Ebony Baranski. It was fine by her, she wouldn't lose sleep over Aleksei Baranski, not anymore.

She chanced a look at him and though his features had relaxed she crouched just a little lower as he came towards her with a whine. He licked her muzzle before pulling her into his chest and once there she buried her face into the fir there. “I'm so sorry you feel that way Lorcan and I wish there was something I could do to change that but I honestly believe if Aleksei had handled things differently things would not have turned out this way. I wish more than anything I could tell that awful feeling away from you and replace it with something better.” But she could not replace it, he would have to deal with it and move past it Inna licked his chin as he spoke his last sentence, “It makes me happy to hear that. You shouldn't leave the daughter you love for the delusions of a man like Aleksei. You deserve to know your daughter and he able to show her how much you love her.” Inna was always striving for ways Lorcan could enjoy being being a father to a beautiful daughter.

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: May 23, 2017, 04:25 PM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

It seemed to Lorcan that no matter what decision he made, he was bound to upset someone. It just so happened that all his life he had valued his own happiness over that of others. He had left his family to prevent himself from being ridiculed by his brothers, he had ran away from the monadnock at the start of spring to avoid being tormented by Piety; being plagued by her intoxicating scent whilst knowing that he was forbidden from ever getting physically close to her would have been enough to drive him mad at that time of year. Then when he had bumped into Inna, he trailed her – not because he had unsavoury intentions – but because he did not want to see her flirt with any other male but himself. When she had later teased him and made her desires known, Lorcan had courted her not because he loved her, but because he had wanted to feel loved by someone – anyone – that would show him the kind of love that he longed to have with the female back home… 

Perhaps the only unselfish thing he had ever done in his entire life was be there for Inna and their daughter now. 

He couldn’t imagine putting himself before Oksana. If he could, then, perhaps he would not have been around to hear what Inna said next – he would be far away from the fields of lavender, but a memory in the mind of the new mother and their pup. But no, no matter how the dark pup had come into the world, she was here now and Lorcan felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility for her welfare and her happiness. 

Whilst he still refused to believe that what had transpired between Inna and Aleksei was not partly his fault, he did begin to acknowledge that perhaps if her brother had been more forgiving about the situation that he might have been able to appreciate his niece, might have not felt the need to abandon his family and that maybe Inna would not have reacted in quite the same way as she had when he did.

Without a word, Lorcan turned around, his fur brushing against her smooth ebony pelt as he strode right past Inna to settle back down next to their sleeping daughter. He placed his large pale paws either side of her small body and placed another tender luck down the length of her back, summoning a soft purr from the pup. Turning back to glance at Inna, he gestured with his muzzle for her to join him, a fragile smile spread across his charcoal lips and a pleading glint in his bright golden eyes. “If Aleksei doesn’t want to know her, well then, that’s his loss..” He murmured, before turning back to give Oksana a gentle nuzzle with the tip of his nose. “He might be able to abandon his family time and time again, but I won't abandon her and nor will anyone else. She’s got an entire pack around her to show her what family is.” He said quietly, golden eyes gazing back across to Inna. 

(This post was last modified: May 23, 2017, 05:36 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

It was times like these when his silence drove her mad because she had no idea what he was thinking. So as she stood there worried of how badly he was beating himself up she watched his face for any sign of what might be going through his mind. She thought she had did what she could to help him understand that what happened with her and Alek was not entirely his fault. She firmly believed that had her brother reacted differently things between them would be different name he might not be running out into the lore. There would he a time and a place for yet to share with Lorcan what had been said bit this wasn't it, things were too fragile right now. Aleksei’s departure was still fresh in their mind and would be for a little while.

Now that her brother was gone and that threat with him she felt more comfortable in Hearthwood. She had lived her brother and still did but he could not get over his anger toward her and now he would not get the chance. He had broken a promise so any promise made now wouldn't be trusted, he wouldn't be trusted. It didn't matter though Inna would do what it took to keep him from re-entering Hearthwood unless her mother said otherwise. She had Oksana to think about now and she couldn't risk letting her brother who seemed to hate her daughter near her cub. Her gaze went to Oksana she napped in the afternoon sun as it warmed the dark fur along her back.

The previous night after she had delivered her message to Alek and settled down with Oksana once more she had thought about it. Deep down where it would stay she hoped Alek could fight his demons and accept what had happened and returned to finally meet his niece. Inna did love her family almost to a fault she couldn't leave them no matter how hard she tried.

Inna was surprised when he turned from her without saying anything but yet he brushed his side against hers as he moved past her. She watched as he settled down next to their daughter a paw on either side if her. Inna remained where she was waiting, surely he would have to say something, just a small indication as to what was going through his mind. He licked the child the length of her back, Inna's ears picking up the sound of her purr and then he was looking toward her. She hoped this would be the moment he would finally say what was in his mind. The look on his was one that worried her, she gave him a nod before she moved from the spot she'd been rooted to. When she came to stand next to him she placed gentle licks along his forehead much in the same manner as he'd done for her while she brought little Oksana i.to the world. He spoke as she did this about Alek, “It is his loss and one that I hope eats away at him every single day he is gone.” She doubted it would but maybe one day he would come to his senses. “I know you're not him, even when you had your chance to leave us you didn't. You have done what he could not.” Inna's eyes dropped to the tiny bundle between Lorcans feet, “Between us and the pack she with know what family is and she will always be loved. She doesn't need Aleksei to grow up happy, I didn't.” And Inna had been happy until the death of her father when everything had seemed to change. Inna settled down next to Lorcan her side pressing against his, “I'm hoping with Alek gone you can spend more time with her and not have to worry.”

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: May 23, 2017, 07:26 PM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

Lorcan leaned against Inna, appreciating the comforting licks she swept across his head as she hovered over him. The wish she made about her brother caused his pale brows to furrow in concern, though his muzzle wrinkled slightly in dark amusement. She was obviously bitter and the healer resisted the urge to comment, not wanting to anger her any further. The wrinkle faded from his muzzle as she then went on to compare him to her brother. His tail flicked in irritation as he gazed down at the daughter. 

“I don’t think I could ever walk away from her..” He breathed, a smile pulling at the corners of his charcoal lips before he turned his head to face her mother, listening as she continued. “I suppose that is one good outcome from this situation..” He mused, more to himself than anyone, though @Inna would obviously overhear it. “But we mustn’t get too complacent. We don’t want Lachesis or your mother finding out about us.” He warned, his brows furrowing in genuine concern. 

“We should probably head back soon..” He suggested, suddenly remembering that it probably looked suspicious that they had both disappeared along with Oksana. “But first…” He murmured as he shifted back up onto his paws to stand and shake out his pelt. “I think I should harvest some of this lavender hyssop. I think it might prove useful..” He teased, a toothy grin spreading across his face as he gestured with his muzzle towards Oksana who was now snoring peacefully, before he began delicately biting off sprigs off the violet flower between his teeth.

(This post was last modified: May 23, 2017, 08:07 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

She felt him lean into her as she continued to try and comfort him as he had her. She felt like she was helping in a small way. It really was sad that her brother had chosen to leave Hearthwood instead of working things out and trying to stay. She didn't know all that had bothered him before he left since he'd never really talked to her especially after he had found out what she'd​ done. Inna however wouldn't bother wasting her breath telling her daughter about her uncle who broke promised and was angry because she'd been conceived. What was the point if she was never going to let him around her daughter.

“I know you would never intentionally leave her and I hope there never comes a time when you are forced to.” There was always that worry in the back of her mind that they would be found out and Lorcan would he forced to leave. Inna nodded, “Maybe the only one.” With Aleksei gone from Hearthwood she hoped that Lorcan wouldn't feel as though he was being watched at all times. “I know but they won't be watching us like Aleksei would.” She felt like they had a new found freedom where Lorcan could spend time with his daughter. He was right though they did still have to be cautious so that her mother and Lachesis didn't find out. “We will always have to be careful but you also need to have a relationship with you daughter, I want that more than anything Lorcan. I know how important my father was to me and I know you will be to her.” Inna planned to do everything in her power to make sure Oksana would know her father and wouldn't hate him because of the position he was in.

The Ebony Baranski nodded as the Tawny healer soon if heading back, “It's probably best that we do.” She didn't want suspicion growing so soon after Aleksei had left them. Her brother had kept Lorcan from feeling like he could be a father to his daughter and now that there was some new hope she wanted to keep it that way. She tilted her head slightly as he started to speak but stopped. Then a smile formed across her maw as he suggested harvesting some of the Lavender for Oksana, “I think that's a good idea and we can always have some in the den for her.” Inna wasn't opposed at all to keeping the plants around for their daughter if it helped to calm her.

Fade

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: May 24, 2017, 03:34 PM by Inna.)

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