Fallen Tree Cove Things That Need Said

Kajika could understand Taggs feelings of uselessness, there had been plenty of times in the past when the dark man had felt the same. The tawny man just needed to have a little help in seeing just how useful he was.

The alpha gave his friend a small nudge to his shoulder. “Taking care Chan isn't the only thing you do though I'm sure. If Moon wants to talk you listen, right? Sometimes that is a lot more helpful then it might seem. You give her support which in this time when she is so stressed out which is something she really needs right now.” This were just a few of the things that Kajika could think of right away until something else came to mind. “Most of all Tagg I'm sure she knows that even if she messes up as alpha you will still love her, that no matter what you will be there.” That is what he thought was the most important thing besides her knowing she wasn't alone.

The dark man nodded, “It is a weird situation even for me. Since I came to the cove Namid and Vespertio have led. Moonshadow and I have to do our best until they return. I am hoping that time being Alpha with Namid and Vespertio to guide her will help her to get through this. Because she has a tendency to overthink things it's our job to keep her grounded.”

As far as Kajika was concerned they were all in this together and had to help each other. Just because Vespertio and Namid were gone didn't mean they weren't all still family.

(This post was last modified: Nov 08, 2017, 01:35 PM by Kajika.)

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Word Count: 183

Tagg was lucky to have a friend like Kajika.  Only a few moments ago they were discussiong a somewhat tense topic, gaging each other and seeing where they stood, and now the current alpha was trying to comfort the veteran and assure him that he was not a burden.  Every word he spoke was true, and while Tagg knew it in his head, he was having a hard time convincing his heart.  He felt like he should be doing more.

“I’m so lucky to have you as a friend, Kajika.” The russet man said, smiling. “We all are. You’re probably just as freaked out as Moon is, but here you are helping me feel better, as always.” He looked up at the sky, voice tired.  “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve any of this. I especially don’t deserve Moon.” He let out an ill-humored chortle.

“But you’re right. The simple things are probably going to mean more in the end… I’ll still talk to her and see if there’s anything else, but in the meantime, what can I do to help you?”

"Speech"  Thought

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It was important that Tagg saw that even what he did for Moonshadow's was important even if it was something small. Just a small bit of support could give the onyx woman the strength she needed to do what was necessary as the lead female. It would help the pack in the long run too all the tawny man needed to do was see that he was helping a lot more than what he believed he was doing.

“I'm lucky to have you too Tagg,” he said offering the man a smile but it was what he said next that had the alpha looking at his paws for a moment. “I am yes, it's a different situation than what aim used to but it my job as your friend and your alpha to help you through the rough times.” Kajika looked at the tawny man with furrowed brow, “Why don't you think you deserve any of this, me and Moonshadow?” He asked not really seeing why Tagg would think such things.

“Trust me Tagg, when it's all said and done it is the small things she will remember. You should certainly talk to her she may tell you exactly what she needs.” He was surprised by the last part, “I'm not sure to be honest but making sure we are ready for winter, caches filled and maybe some extra bedding to keep around for those really cold nights.”

(This post was last modified: Nov 10, 2017, 04:57 AM by Kajika.)

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Word Count: 217

Tagg was grateful to his friend for helping him. He really was. But he didn't want him to do so simply because he felt it was his 'job'. "You have enough work to worry about; I don't want you to worry about me just because it's your job. I don't want to be an added stresser for you." Tagg nudged the darker man. "We look out for you too."

His next question had the smile fading from his face. He forgot; he'd talked to Vespertio and told him everything, but he had a new alpha now who didn't know... could he tell Kajika everything that had happened, everything he'd done? Though the pack founder hadn't chased him out, he worried that Kajika, who had more of a stake in what happened to Moon and Chan, would not see things the same way. He looked away, ears falling back against his head. "There's just... some things I did once..." He mumbled. He thought he was past this. He'd spit it out to Vesper. Why couldn't he share it with his best friend?

He was so lost in the black hole that was his past that he barely registered what Kajika was saying. He nodded humbly, struggling to bring his mind back to the present. Will I never escape?!

"Speech"  Thought

l

There are several fresh rabbit tracks in the mud. Hunt Opportunity

When Tagg spoke the alpha couldn't help but get the feeling that he may have said something wrong. So he felt he needed to rectify the situation. “You're not a stressor Tagg, not in the least. I didn't mean helping you and worrying about you was just job in a bad way. I just meant that it's part of being your friend, being anyone's friend. I'm glad you can feel that you can come talk to me just I I hope I can with you.” A smile did cross the dark man's features then, “I know you do and I do appreciate it more than I could probably ever express.”

A lot had changed for Kajika in the past year and some of it he was still getting used to. While their numbers had dwindled the ones he cared most about still remained. They were family and they always would be as far as the alpha was concerned. A brow was raised however when the tawny man said there were some things he'd done once. “Would you like to talk about them?” He asked. While he hoped Tagg would feel he could talk about then to him he wasn't expecting it. He understood the need to keep things close to the chest especially when sharing could hurt the ones closest to you.

He doubted whatever Tagg had to say would change his opinions if the man. How could they when he'd done some questionable things in his past.

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Word Count: 277

He should have known Kajika would ask.  He always did; that’s what this whole conversation was, right? Tagg sighed.  “I cannot even begin to express how much I don’t.” He said, voice hollow.  “But you deserve to know and now is as good a time as any.”

He looked back up at his friend, but only briefly.  His shame didn’t allow him to look the darker man in the eye. “You remember the promise we made, first about Moon and then with Des? About what we’d do if we ever find who hurt them? Well, shortly after that, I talked to Vespertio.  He knows what I’m about to tell you. I was afraid, of what might happen if I… fell back…”

He took a deep breath and closed his eye, trying to block out the memories dancing in his mind. He just wanted to get this out. “When I was fighting, while I was gone that first time… The coyotes… they killed the pack’s entire litter.  We couldn’t just let them get away with it.  There were so many litters. So many pups, and we killed them. Every last one of them.”  He took a deep breath, choking back a sob that suddenly wanted to push its way from his throat.

After a moment, he looked pleadingly up at Kajika, eye begging his friend for something he wasn’t sure he could provide.  “Please… don’t tell Moon.  Not yet.  I’m going to tell her, just… not yet. I want to be the one to tell her. Promise me. Promise me you won’t tell her.” It was not a demand; he couldn’t do that. He was just desperately begging.

"Speech"  Thought

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The more Tagg said the more concerned and curious the alpha became at what he was talking about. “I’m listening whatever you want to tell me,” he said trying to reassure the man and help him to feel a little more comfortable talking about whatever was bothering him.

Kajika remained quiet as he listened to the Tawny man speak of the promises they had made to each other. “I remember the promises,” how could he forget. Just because he hadn't been able to act on then didn't mean that he never would. Kajika looked forward to the day he could have justice for what had been done to Moonshadow and Des. “In not sure I know what you mean by fall back though.” The dark alpha wasn't concerned with the fact that Vespertio already knew, that was to be expected since he'd been alpha at the time.

Again Kajika found himself remaining quiet while Tagg continued to speak. He took in every word and gave it some thought before he spoke. “I don't feel that you were in the wrong Tagg. They killed every one of the packs pups, they are the future of the pack. All you did was do exactly the same as they had. The number of pups does matter because it is sad that they were killed but it also doesn't matter. What matters is that both the pack and the coyotes lost the entire next generation like the pack had.” The dark alpha paused a moment to work out what he would say next. “I'm sorry you had to go through that Tagg. It's not something I would ever want to do and you should have had to either.”

The next thing he knew and that Tagg was practically begging him to not tell Moonshadow. Kajika shook his head. “You must not worry Tagg I won't tell her but also understand this. If she comes right out and asks I can't lie to her.” In other words he needed to tell her soon because she had a right to know that what was in his past.

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Word Count: 110

Tagg wasn’t sure how to feel about his friend’s reaction.  He was dismissing what he’d done, but he understood.  He wasn’t going to be cast out.  The relief he felt was enough to make him dizzy.  And he promised not to tell Moon.  Not unless she asked.  But why would she ask Kajika about anything that might lead him to answer with this?

But he was right.  It was time to tell her, to get it all out in the open.  She would understand, right? Kajika would help him make her understand.

He smiled weakly. “Thank you.” His words were shaky and quiet, but he knew the alpha would understand.

"Speech"  Thought

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It was a horrible thing that had happened all if those pups dying Kajika couldn't deny that but he also had to look at it from different perspectives. He knew his friend wouldn't go kill helpless pups without reason because it wasn't who he was. More importantly he considered what he and Tagg wanted to do to the wolf who had caused Moonshadow to lose two of her children.

Life was about survival and making sure there was a future generation and if a bunch of coyotes wanted to take that away why shouldn't they have it taken from them? So Kajika had accepted what Tagg had done and didn't judge him for it. Instead he promised not to tell Moonshadow but with the understanding that he wouldn't lie to his friend if she asked.

Kajika offered a reassuring smile, “You're welcome Tagg and if it helps I probably would have done the same if I had been in your paws.” That was one thing the dark alpha was sure of.

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