Quaking Vale it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Tagging everyone I feel has made a significant impact on Cas. Thank you all for helping me build her character, through all the ups and downs. I wish I could keep her forever, but this is how it was meant to end.

at least we stole the show

It was so foolish of her to have thought it would ever end up differently than this. When she came to the Lore, she had wanted nothing more than an adventure... and she had certainly gotten more than expected. Castel Noor, the sick and weak little child who entered the vast wilderness that she had never seen before, who had not been expected to live past her first birthday, and who had told herself that all she would ever amount to in life was a blip of time, left in no one's memory.

She didn't think that was the case now. First, joining Wild Rye Fields had been a step - she still felt horrible for what she did to @Askan, and hoped that the grumpy old ass could somehow find it in his heart to forgive her for leaving. She really hadn't meant to let that happen the way it did, but she had been too ill and overwhelmed at the time to reason it out better. Regardless of if he forgave her or not, she desperately hoped that, wherever he was, he was happy. That all of the Rye wolves were happy.

Talking with @Kino had been most likely the biggest leap she could have made early on in her time here. It was that boy who had made her realize that, hey, maybe I actually can be friends with someone. Maybe it's not so bad to have feelings. Feelings, of course, like Alastor had for @Sahalie, and that the chocolate-coated girl had for him in return. Everyone and their brother could see it, except for those two themselves. Hell, they had made a pack together (along with Castel's help, which she was quite proud of to this day. If there was an afterlife, her time with Quaking Vale was where she would forever live in her memory.)

@Draven had made her life so very much easier for all those months that he had been there, with his healing herbs and his patience. He'd brought along with him @Neha, and helping that girl through a flood so that she could give birth had been horrifying. However, it was one of those things that she would forever hold in her memory as one of the most amazing moments of her entire life. Because that was the day that brought @Sachiel into being, and Cas didn't think that any creature could ever be so perfect. It was Sachiel that had given her hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, she might make it to the next spring and become a mother as well.

But then the pack fell apart. One by one, wolves began to disappear. Alastor, then @Larkspur (the name of which still made Cas' blood boil, even while she was dying) and Laurel, then Sahalie herself. Random wolves came and went, but there was always that one constant that Castel was positive would never leave her side.

@Niles.

Niles was, by far, the greatest thing to ever happen to her. He was her favorite hello - the one wolf above all that she had been glad to meet. He was her biggest "what if" - the one thing that she questioned more than anything else; what if she hadn't been sick? What if she had made it to spring? What if the two of them had borne children and grown old together, leading Quaking Vale? (Another thing that she couldn't quite believe, because holy shit, who's idea was it to let her lead a pack in the first place?) Niles was her fondest memory, her most treasured person, and her best friend, all wrapped up into one.

Cas had never meant to fall in love, but Niles had made it impossible to avoid. She had loved absolutely nothing more than to watch him transform from that creepy stalker dude who never spoke, to her mate - her co-lead, her confidant, and simply hers. And, yeah, she was picturing many other wolves as she lay on the cold forest floor, robbed of her sight and breath by the illness that was rotting her from the inside out. She imagined her father, and what her mother would have been like. She imagined her half-brothers and half-sisters and what they could have grown up to be. She imagined @Eirian and how he could have easily torn her to pieces, but chose to let her live. She imagined @Cottongrass, with his gentle demeanor and friendly spirit. She imagined @Icicle, with his odd appearance and their many similarities. She imagined @Tikhon, and how she admired his loyalty and would forever be grateful that he stuck with the Vale even when everyone else left. She imagined @Kuwindwa, and how they were almost friends. She imagined a world of almosts and maybes and what ifs, but mainly... she imagined Niles.

There was no doubt in her mind that he was with her now, even if she couldn't see or hear him. He was there, beside her, making sure she was warm and protected up until her very last breath. He'd keep her safe, like he did when they fought those little evil monsters. He would keep her warm, like he had when she was sick up in the Fields. He would stay with her, like he had all these months that she had fought to keep this pack together for so many months, because they had all worked so hard to get it going. Niles had never really understood her love of this pack, but he had stayed because he loved her, and because he wanted her happy.

She could never thank him enough for that, and she hoped @Morganna would be there for him when all of this was over.

As her breaths grew shorter and quicker and the end approached, Castel found herself satisfied. There were so many things she wished she could have done - so many things she wished she could have experienced. But she had come to the Lore in search of adventure, and she had gotten so much more. The silver-dusted girl didn't know if she would be remembered - if she had made enough of a mark to ensure that she wasn't a pointless existence, - but she knew that she had tried. She'd made friends, enemies, and had even fallen in love. And if that wasn't a life lived to the fullest, she didn't know what was.

It had been a short life, yes, but she was dying happy. The only thing she wished, oh so desperately, that she could do... was to tell Niles she loved him one more time. To make sure he understood that, without him, she would have never lived up to her potential. That, now that she had met him, she couldn't live without him. She wanted to make some shit up - about how she wouldn't really leave him because she absolutely adored him and it hurt to imagine herself without him. To imagine him without her. She wanted to threaten to haunt him if he didn't take care of himself, or (playfully) if he found another woman to love. Because she wanted him to be happy, above all, and who knows? Maybe she really would be able to see him after death. But she understood that Niles knew she loved him.

He knew...

And so, with that in mind, and with the peace and satisfaction of a wolf who had lived fifteen years and had accomplished twice what she had, Castel let out a gentle sigh, closed her tired blue eyes, and no longer felt any pain.

(This post was last modified: Dec 11, 2017, 10:44 PM by Castel.)

In the days since his sister and her troupe had appeared on the borders of Quaking Vale, Niles had grown stagnant. Every waking moment he had (and, there were times in the past few days where he had absolutely refused to fall asleep), he spent tending to his mate. If he wasn't laying beside her, offering his side to rest up against and sharing his body heat, he had quickly gotten up to relieve himself or hastily welcome those who came and called at the territory edges. That was it. He couldn't stand to be anywhere else.

Today, the Vale had grown quiet and there was something in the air that Niles could not place. It wasn't static or eerie; in fact, it was almost tranquil, too still and too silent as if something was about to happen. The hair along his nape stood on edge and it urged him to continue his vigil. For a while, he lovingly combed his teeth through Castel's fur, laying flat the bits of fur that stuck up on her now delicate frame. She looked so small and so young when she slept now; Niles couldn't remember now if she had always been this small compared to him. It wrought his whole being with worry. Apart of him wondered if she would have been fine if she hadn't fallen in the snow sometime ago.

"You're okay," he whispered into her ears as he groomed them. "You're so beautiful; I love you so much. I love you. I love you." Every so often, anxious eyes surveyed the aspens around them; he had told Morganna earlier that morning that she was to do a few rounds in his stead. He had wanted nothing but to be with Castel today; nothing was going to tear him from her. He was certain that if anyone dared to come too close out of curiosity, he might have snapped. Just this once, he was going to be selfish. He wanted all of Castel's time, to lavish affection upon her, and whisper words of encouragement. If he had been in her place, he knew she would have been doing the same thing.

"I love you so much..."

His pale eyes swept over her face and neck, moving down to her shoulders and chest, watching her every breath. Everything was going to be fine. The corners of his mouth twitched and he carefully nuzzled up to her, resting the side of his face against her forehead. Anxiety bubbled up in his chest as he wondered how they had gotten this far, how her health had taken a turn for the worst this fast and so soon. He let loose a mewl, his voice box betraying him. He hadn't been this afraid since he had first discovered Castel in the middle of the Fields, alone and cold.

"Cassie?" he tried, wondering if she might wake this time around. He held his breath but she didn't even stir. "It's okay," he remedied, taking back his little bout of hope. He didn't want to disturb her. She needed to rest. For what could have been the millionth time, he pressed his nose to hers and settled back down. A yawn lifted his head from his paws and his eyes fluttered shut...

What could have possibly been hours seemed like the blink of an eye and when Niles awoke, he immediately knew something was wrong. He sat up, staring down at Castel's fragile form. His eyes fixated on her chest, finding that she was no longer breathing. No, no... no, no, no, no, no! His ears swept back and his whole body slumped forward as he dipped his muzzle downward and nestle his face into the crook between the little Noor's jawline and neck.

She was gone.

His nostrils burned and the corners of his eyes stung. For ages it seemed like his sister's and parents' deaths were the worst thing to have happened in his life, but now... now... this moment had to be it. There was no telling if he would be able to recover. Had he loved her too much? Had he hoped for too much? Had he done something wrong? He began to sob, his large shoulders shuddering as they came in waves. He succumbed to the storm that he had been sailing through for most of the year, ready to drown beneath the swelling tides. Castel had become everything to her and now she was no more, leaving Niles alone in a world he did not understand without her.

we can say goodbye, just head home, but if we're going to be alone
Chimera is currently traveling with Niles and may hop into this IC thread!

After fending off Morganna's much unwanted anxious energy, the feelings of sweet reunion and the desperate need to never be apart, Skoll had just managed to catch up on his rest. Or, he had thought he had... After a couple hours since he had awoken, he started to feel burnt out again. The ache had eased in some places but his stomach was still wasn't right. He was going to skip eating again today; maybe tomorrow he would be able to consume something. Uncertain hunger and weariness aside, Skoll figured it was about time to see his half-brother and the little sick-ling for himself.

Through the skinny trunks of the aspens that made up the Vale, he picked his way to where he recognized Niles' musk. Strangely enough, it seemed different, sickly... He swallowed, his steps reeling one way before correcting itself. He might have had it bad in Devilsbite Dell, but to suffer the loss of a mate's health was quite possibly worse. From his understanding, which he had picked up when he and Sven had found one another again, he found it uncomfortable and unbearable; he wanted nothing more than spare his son the "treatment" he had suffered under his lovers' watch. Skoll was not so conceited and selfish as to not understand sacrifice.

Castel's scent grew thicker in the air the closer he became but the scene he had been expecting was not the one he had found when he came to what was supposedly the pack den. The Archer's ears drew back and his muzzle dipped towards the ground. There was no other explanation to why Niles was crying, why those dark shoulders shook and his masked face was tucked into the little wolf's neck. Skoll offered a low woof, the sound he had once made to beckon his children to him; but, then, instead of waiting for acknowledgement, he found himself stepping forward and draping himself over his baby brother. 'Baby' could have been a strange term, seeing as he and Niles were the same size, but he realized then that Niles would, quite possibly, never outgrow the little cub that Skoll used to spook in the dead of night.

"She's gone, Niles," he murmured, the corners of his mouth turning downward as he observed the two lovers and Castel's unmoving form beneath his brother's large frame.

i'm a dreamer, i'm a man

i'm doing whatever i can to make the bad things go away

The low bark made the Leader jump, but he did not move from his spot, wanting to stay with Castel for as long as possible. He knew he would have to move eventually and that he would have to put his beloved to rest. He wasn't ready. Not even when that voice confirmed the inevitable: "She's gone, Niles."

The heart that still thumped in his chest began to ache, each beat resounding on without echoing his mate's. Niles was on his own. A whimper emitted painfully from his throat and snout as he slowly turned to find the scarred face of someone he thought he had left behind. Skoll. The brother he had never liked. The brother he had been glad to be rid of when Skoll had abandoned Willow Ridge. The brother he often required protection from with Angier or Elettra's help.

His hackles came up and he lifted his lips from the sight of his clenched teeth. He wanted Skoll to take back his words. Of course, Skoll would be the one to kick him while he was down. The Lyall let out a feeble growl, but it wasn't loud or full enough to be as intimidating as he had wanted it to be. In this hour of helplessness, the only one he wanted was his Castel.

"Go away."

we can say goodbye, just head home, but if we're going to be alone
Chimera is currently traveling with Niles and may hop into this IC thread!

The boy wasn't going to have any of Skoll's persuasion but the Archer was determined. He wasn't about ready to see his brother waste away. With as much energy as he could muster he trumped Niles' pitiful display. As skinny and malnourished as he was, Skoll's gauntness emphasized his presence over the grieving Leader. On tall spindly legs, he stood over Niles, his black tail held high, not in a sense of dominance but for the sake of making his sibling listen.

"Shut up and get up."

Short and to the point. If Niles had been a full Archer, he might have had the strength to accept the loss leave the grief for the long haul, allow it to haunt him in the long winter nights until the Spring thaw took it away in exchange for a chance at love again. Though, judging by how possessive Niles was over Castel, Skoll was uncertain if Niles would be willing to take that chance; Skoll, himself, still mourned the "loss" of his @Piety.

"Come on," his voice was gentler now, his posture growing less and less standoffish as the seconds silently went past. "You need to eat." He took one step back to see if Niles would feel the pull and get up from his spot, "And we have some catching up to do." It was what Mother and Angier would have wanted.

(This post was last modified: Dec 04, 2017, 09:40 PM by Skoll.)

i'm a dreamer, i'm a man

i'm doing whatever i can to make the bad things go away

Skoll had always been a wordsmith, possessed with a silver tongue and a certain air that made others see from his point of view. Niles was so sure that he couldn't be persuaded, so easily swayed... The weight of loss and the absence of Castel's warmth leaving him without any choice. His brother was right. For the past few days, he had done nothing but remain by his Cassie's side, too afraid to sleep or leave her side for long; but, now, it was time to go.

The coaxing of Skoll's voice drove his point home and it was with little reluctance that Niles slowly got up. He was his father's son; when it came to listening to those who had better ideas and good suggestions, he would always be one to follow or obey. His ears flicked back for a moment before coming cautiously forward. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments and the Lyall's mind suddenly registered just how big Skoll was - in fact, they were relatively the same height. Times had changed, and perhaps Castel's affection had grounded him, made him more self-assured... Bolder. She had reminded him who he was - a Queensguard - and, even when she fell, his watch was not over.

If you let other people decide everything for you, or if you leave your fate to whatever you believe in, you aren't really living your life, are you?

You're under no obligation to meet anyone's standards or expectations. Don't forget that when I'm not around, okay?

Niles would not forget.

"No."

The hair along his back and along his neck rose up in dark spikes and a growl thundered through his chest. He wasn't ready. Not yet... and it was not Skoll's decision as to when Niles ought to have been ready to leave his mate's side. Castel, even as she lay there cold on the ground, still needed him. She would have to be laid to rest, covered up for the earth to take back and for the Old Gods to bless; Skoll would not be welcome to the task. Niles' chin tucked protectively over his throat and he showed his brother his teeth once more. His tail rose high over his back and he took two steps as to stand protectively in-between his mate and his brother.

"GO AWAY!" His teeth snapped at the air around the Archer's snout, a threat and implication that he was not about to hesitate about anything anymore. One wrong move, one wrong word, and Niles was ready to dole out some disciplinary measures. It wasn't Skoll's place to tell his Leader to shut up. He snarled again, a last warning, "LEAVE US ALONE!"

we can say goodbye, just head home, but if we're going to be alone
Chimera is currently traveling with Niles and may hop into this IC thread!

It seemed that Niles was going to relent, to listen to him with their mother's words hanging from his lips. Surely, Elettra had not been one for grief; Skoll was aware that she acted out with tooth and nail, and would not tolerate anyone who dared to stand by and watch. When Nonna Skana had passed, he and Asriel were absolutely not welcome to the scene, but the only thing Skoll could remember was that there was nothing sad about it. No tears or whines or whimpers... no grief wrought by sadness alone.

Frankly, Elettra had seemed mad or upset, so when Niles puffed up, shifting into a defensive stance, Skoll's eyes narrowed. When Niles was a cub, he was a coward, a weakling, a mouse. How he managed to wander so far away from his littermate Ravenna was over Skoll's head, but it had probably been for the best. It had seemed his brother had grown up at last.

Niles' shouts were easily understood, the snap his jaws an even clearer message that relayed his intentions: he could and would bite.

"No need to yell," he hissed, his own fur ruffling even if his tail had begun to betray him by curling between his ankles. He denied it every time, but he knew that Eremiel, Anahera, and Vesna had conditioned him - made him weak and something far less than his former self when he had last been in the Lore. And, while he hadn't come over looking for a fight to begin with, he was sure that whoever might have been lingering about nearby heard Niles making an uproar. "I just..."

He froze, and he inwardly cursed his body for steeling itself against something akin to his lovers' teeth. It was a mistake that was too late to take back and there was no doubt now that he had stepped over a line. His mind had clearly recovered but his body still had yet to catch up. It was not ready for this.

i'm a dreamer, i'm a man

i'm doing whatever i can to make the bad things go away

A young deer has been separated from the rest of its herd. Hunt Opportunity

wait for me to come home

Morganna Archer

Having left the care of Castel primarily to Pietro (who was far better versed in the use of plants than she, who only knew the basics of use, and was more versed in collection, appearance and scent), Morganna had still been making a point to try and sneak in and check on the girl a few times a day without intruding too much on her brothers last moments with her. She was on her way to peek in again when Skoll's words came to her, the corner of her mouth drawing down with worry. She moved faster through the dark striped trunks, coming upon the scene just in time to see Niles snap towards Skoll's snout.

That the older brother shrank so quickly was concerning in itself but Niles was fully within his rights as leader, and she wasn't set on undermining him - this was his pack after all. She approached casually, tail held level with her spine, "Hey, Ni," just look at me. There was a softness on her face that wasn't usually there as she moved to bump her nose to her younger siblings shoulder to try and give Skoll a chance to back up if he needed it. Her voice was low. "We've still got work ter do. D'yer know where yer want her buried? I can get the other's ter help an' give yer a bit more time?" Or he could help her and she wouldn't protest. Sometimes the best remedy for grief was to get busy, and there was a lot to consider and discuss over the coming days.

If he's given a look he'll poof out.

You find out what it's worth and you let the rest burn

Renier stayed far from Niles and his mate. He didn't want to tip the the frail balance that  remained. So, he kept an eye on the borders, and did what he could for food. Catching any small prey he could get his teeth into. All the while learning the game trails in the copse. It was a true hunt he felt was needed. They had plenty enough for a higher success rate. He only needed to find a target.

Today he was unsuccessful, and eager to speak with Morganna. If there was any news, and to steal a moment of her to himself. Tracking her recent trail was a familiar route to the den. He paused, thinking he'd try again. Instead there was a commotion that pressed him onward just in case he was needed.

Closer, he didn't like what hung in the air, and his movements became snail like. His frame neutral as he entered thescene. The Lyall made a point to hang back, on the edge of it. Just enough to hear Morganna speak, and for his nose to tell him the rest. He kept his gaze low, and mostly onto her. Ready to either help or be dismissed. But, he had no words for this cruel fate.  He couldn't imagine what kind of god would thrust such a tragedy on such a young man who'd already gotten more than his fair share.