Chinook Coulee This pain can't be imagined

Ruari knew that she was very worried about her brother coming to try and finish what he had started. Until the day came when her brother showed up all the shadow could do was reassure her that she was safe. Telling her that he would protect her he felt didn't mean much until the day came when he actually had to do it. He knew that when it did he would be ready to protect her with his life if he had to. The idea of possibly leaving her alone in the world did bother him but as long as she was safe that was what mattered to him.

It was important for him to know how many times her brother, he needed to know how much if a threat he was to them. They would need to be prepared for if or when he did come. The last thing Ruari wanted was to be caught off guard and something happen to Isaura. He goes that if they kept moving there would be less of a chance for her brother to find them.

He thought about what she said regarding the number of times her brother had tried. He didn't understand why he was so determined to kill her unless he didn't want her becoming an alpha of the pack. The best way to ensure that she didn't was to get rid of her leaving Ruari to hope that with her gone from the pack he would stop his attempts. “I think we should play it safe and assume that those other things were him trying especially if you think it could have been him.” It would mean he was pretty determined and they would need to be vigilant.

Despite that he did his best to reassure her that they would be okay and that she didn't have to worry. He tried to make sure she knew that as long as she was with him she was safe, he would make sure of it if it was the last thing he did. He licked her cheek as she spoke about not wanting him to be hurt. “I would prefer that I didn't get hurt either but it is a possibility and a risk I will gladly take to keep you safe.” He knew that if they did run into her brother it could come down to a fight and Ruari might not make it out if that alive but he planned to take her brother with him if it came to that. “I do everything I can to ensure my survival,” he promised.

He held her against him when she laid down comforted in the fact that she was there with him. He had told her something that he felt she should know, how she had changed his life and made it better. A smile crossed his maw at her words as she expressed the same to him. “I hope you will never have to find out what it would be like without me.” He couldn't promise her that something wouldn't happen to take him from her but he didn't have any plans to leave her. “There will never be a day that I wouldn't want you here with me.” Now that he had toujd her he didn't ever want to let her go.

(This post was last modified: Jan 24, 2018, 03:49 AM by Ruari.)

 

She hoped she would never see her brother again. He had only brought her pain whenever he was around and then even if he wasn't. He had been trusted above her and wolves would readily believe what he said over her word. So when he told them that she was taking from the caches and not filling them she would be hounded even if she had never done it. So she didn't want to see her brother not now not ever if only so she wouldn't see Ruari get hurt defending her.

The snowbird didn't know why her brother had wanted her dead. It had all started when they had been younger. Maybe one of the other wolves had said something to him when he had slipped out of the den. Or maybe he had heard their parents talking about something that he shouldn't have been made aware of. She just didn't know and she had never thought to ask him in case she gained more of his ire.

Her shadow spoke saying that they should believe that he had done the other things that could have hurt her. A flashback of her family ganging up on her passed in front of her eyes. Could he have turned the whole pack against her? Yes, yes he could have. Her ears pinned back against her head as her eyes closed. Ever time she had been treated roughly had he been the one to direct it? If she followed what her shadow said then he had been and she didn't want to believe that her brother had hated her that much to turn the whole family against her.

Ruari kissed her cheek before telling her he didn't want to get hurt either but he would take that risk if it kept her safe. She wanted to make him promise that he would survive but she wasn't going to have him make a promise that they weren't sure he could keep when the time came. However, as if he read her mind he promised to make sure that he would do everything he could to survive. And i'll do the same. She promised back because she knew that her brother wouldn't be above ambushing her when she was alone and Ruari was no where in sight.

As she laid against him he responded saying that he hoped that she wouldn't have to find out what it would be like without him and that he would always want her by his side. Snuggling closer to him she replied back her voice soft with a teasing lilt to it. Then I guess you're going to be stuck with me for quite a while then. And she was perfectly happy with that.

There was a lot that he and Isaura didn't know about each other but they were slowly finding out and he was fine with that. Nothing she said or did would ever change how he felt about her. She was his blue eyed treasure and would remain so for as long as she wanted. He would never force her to stay with him if she decided to one day go her own way though he hoped she didn't. There were some days especially now that Deaglan was gone that she was what kept him going. The need to look after her kept him from sinking into a depression about losing his last remaining family member.

This business about her brother was in some ways scary for the shadow. What if no matter what Ruari tried to do he still lost Isaura. Then there was the matter of if it came to a fight between him and her brother. Rustin didn't want to die and leave his treasure without someone in her life. What if that was what happened. She would be left vulnerable, her brother could still finish what he started.

Ruari decided it didn't matter if ye was unsure as long as she thought he was and she had been reassured that was all that mattered. He would do the worrying so that she wouldn't have to, at least that was his hope. He knew his treasure, he knew she would worry no matter how many reassurances he gave her. No matter how many times he had to comfort her and while it bothered him it was who she was and he wouldn't change her. The shadow liked his treasure just the way she was.

If it came down to it he know he would give his life for her and he told her so but he also promised her that he would do what it took to survive. The thought of leaving her was unbearable to the twin, he didn't even want to imagine how she would get along if he wasn't in her life anymore, if she lost him. A smile crossed his features, it seemed he wasn't the only one making promises. “We are stronger together,” he told her, “I wouldn't expect anything less of you. Whether you know it or not you are strong,” he whispered into her ear as he gently rested his chin on her crown.

Not that she had relaxed and they were lying next to each other with their promises made he felt content until she spoke again. “I can't say I'm upset about it,” he said before growing quiet and looking out into the night, he needed to tell her. She needed to know what she'd gotten herself into and he was kicking himself for not telling her sooner. “Isa there is something I need to tell you,” he said quietly as he stared out into the night.

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Whether her brother showed up or not she knew that her shadow would always be on her side. She didn't think anyone would be able to turn him against her not with how much they cared for each other and how much they needed the other's companionship. The snowbird also was aware that he would protect her from whatever might try and hurt her. Her shadow had said it to her on more than one occasion and she knew that he would stay true to his word. Knowing all of this brought Isaura comfort and it showed in the way she relaxed fully against him once more at ease with her surroundings.

Their promises hung in the air and she teased her shadow telling him he would be stuck with her for quite a while. The snowbird had no intention of leaving him unless he didn't want her around but she felt that he wouldn't ask that of her. They needed each other too much at this point. A day without him would feel impossible to her now and she didn't want to think or even try to imagine what she would end up doing if it did happen. It made her chest hurt just even briefly thinking of it.

His voice broke her thoughts and she was grateful for it as he told her that they were stronger together and that whether she realized it or not she was strong. The snowbird blinked in silent surprise as he placed his chin on her head. Her strong? She had never thought of herself that way and she couldn't imagine others thinking of her like that. How could she when all she could in the face of danger was submit or run? It baffled her and she honestly couldn't think her shadow thought that of her. He was the strong one of the two. Not her. What did he see in her that made him think that? I think you have the wrong wolf. She disagreed lightly with a touch of amusement.

He went on to say that he wasn't upset with the idea of her being around and she let out a content sigh. It seemed that they were both in agreement and she was starting to get sleepy again. Her eyelids were starting to drift shut when her shadow spoke telling her that there was something that she needed to know. His voice was quiet but there was something in it she couldn't quite place. I'm listening. She murmured back focusing all her attention on him even though she didn't move a muscle.

Ruari had no way of knowing if her brother would ever come for her or not. It didn't matter, her fears were very real and he would take them seriously always keeping watch over her and making sure that no harm came to her. He felt that she believed what he had promised her when she relaxed against him. She wasn't one to do such a thing if she really wasn't comfortable. He was happy that she believed him and that the knowledge helped to put her mind at ease.

They had both promised to do everything they could to survive any ordeal they may face. He was content in knowing she would try just as hard for him as he would for her. He had grown close to her and during his recovery and after finding his twin he'd learned to depend on her. Just having her at his side and there if he needed to talk knowing she wouldn't judge him put his own mind at ease. The thought of her mother being there scared him because Ruari didn't know what would happen to him if there ever came a day she wasn't there.

She seemed to not believe him when he told her she was strong, at this he bent his head to brush her cheek. “Isa, you were strong for me when I couldn't be after we found Deaglan and when I was still recovering from my injuries. You have what it takes to do what is needed and that is strength.” At least that was his own opinion, he saw her as strong in her own ways and he hoped that one day she would see it too.

There was something else that needed to be said and this was as good of a time as any. So quietly he spoke alerting her to the fact he had something to tell her. His yellow gaze landed on her crown as she said she was listening. His chest rose and fell with the deep breath that he took. “Before my brother and I came to this place Our mother and siblings were killed by our adoptive father so we killed him. Then we came in search of our real father. Things between and Deag hadn't really been the same since our mother's death which led to the argument that resulted my injuries and my brothers death.” There he'd told her, no more secrets from her and all he could do now was hope she wouldn't be angry with him.

How was she strong? She simply couldn't see it and her shadow explained his reasoning to her when told him he had the wrong wolf. The snowbird could only listen as he told her that she had been strong for him when they had found his brother and when he had still been injured. She had been able to what had been needed and in his eyes that was her being strong. Isaura wasn't sure if that was necessarily strength but it was something, even though she still doubted it. Maybe she would see it one day but she didn't think so. She did appreciate him trying and she gave him an affectionate nudge in return as he dipped his head.

Relaxing against him her shadow had said that he had something that he wanted to tell her and she was ready to listen to whatever he had to say. He took a deep breath and Isaura wondered if this was going to be a good or bad thing that he was telling her, because he seemed to be bracing himself.

He went on to tell her that before he came here his adoptive father had killed his siblings and his mother. Isaura froze as she listened in mute surprise. Her shadow continued to say that he and his brother had, in turn, killed their adoptive father and that they had come here in search of their real father. The brothers had fought because their relationship had been strained after their mother's death and that was why they had fought.

The snowbird could only blink and as she took it all in. His family had been murdered by the one that was supposed to protect them. How could he? A father wasn't supposed to go around killing his kids and wife. He was supposed to protect them. Ruari and Deaglan had killed him ending the destruction. If she was honest she was surprised that he had killed someone but hadn't he said that he would protect her? That her brother wouldn't be able to lay a hand on her? Hadn't she already considered that he might kill her brother? Then the reason why she had found him wounded was because his brother had snapped. The had a very good reason to with all that hung over them the strain likely too much.

The silence was dragging on she knew but she wasn't sure what to say but she knew that she had to say something. Ru you did what you had to. She began her voice soft and hesitant as she tried to arrange her thoughts. I'm not sure how I feel about killing but if you hadn't you might be dead to so I can't hold it against you. He had just murdered your family. Who else would he have killed if he hadn't been stopped? She was bad at this oh so very bad but she pressed on. I think you did the right thing and I don't think it was your fault your brother hurt you. I think he just couldn't bare the strain anymore.

She paused as she took her own breath steading herself. The snowbird didn't know what else to say. What else might put her shadow at ease the way he had with her. Lifting her head she brushed his cheek with her own. And if you still want to look for your father we can continue looking for him. With that she fell silent not knowing if what she had said had been what he was looking for if or if she had been able to help him relax at all.

A frown had crossed his features when she spoke of not knowing how she was strong. He felt that she was and explained to her why he thought so. Even if she wasn't strong in the same ways that he was didn't mean that she wasn't strong at all. His yellow gaze had fallen on her as he spoke and what he saw caused him to think that she didn’t seem as sure as he was. The shadow hoped that one day she would see herself what he saw. He did smile at the nudge that she gave him in return, he would help her so that one day she could see how strong she really was.

For a long time he'd felt that he had needed to tell her what had transpired between him and Deaglan and even before they had come to the lore. She had a right to know what kind of wolf she was traveling with. He felt it even more important now that they'd had the conversation about her brother.

So as he felt her relax against him Ruari prepared himself to tell her the biggest thing he'd been keeping to himself. After a deep breath he explained it all to her so that she could have the full picture. He'd already decided that he would understand if she chose to leave after he told her.

Ruari then gave her the time she needed to process it all. He knew it was a lot and she would need some time to understand everything he'd said. Still he couldn't help but feel a little impatient to hear what her thoughts were, to know what she would ultimately decide to do. He couldn't shake the image of her running away from him disgusted by what he had done.  That didn't happen though instead she stayed right where she was as she spoke. The shadow listened carefully to what she said and didn't interrupt her.  He gave some thought to what she said about his father and how much more damage could he do and he knew she was right.

Eventually his adoptive father would have taken another mate and possibly done the same to her and their children as he’d done to Ruari's family. He and Deaglan had been seeking revenge at the time but maybe they were doing the world a favor. Maybe she was right about Deaglan, maybe his brother was looking for someone to take his anger out on and Ruari only helped his twin accomplish that.

Still he did have some doubts but hearing that she didn't hold anything against him was a comfort. “I am still not sure how I feel about all of it,” he admitted, “But I think you might be right about my adoptive father. I think he would have just done the same to his next mate and their children. Mine an Deaglan's motives might not have been pure but maybe we helped someone later.” He didn't think he was a good wolf by any means not after the things that had happened but he hadn't always been that way.

She then offered for them to continue looking for his real father and this Ruari had some trouble with. He had since he'd lost his brother, he wondered if it was worth it to keep looking. He turned his head and licked her cheek when she brushed hers against his, “Let's leave that for another day. I'm not sure if I want to find him or just make a life of some kind here with you.” She was now the most important wolf in his life and taking care of her was his top priority.

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In comparison, her worries and fears seemed small in comparison to what her shadow had gone through. The one that he had trusted had turned against him and his family. Killing them all except the two brothers who in return had killed their adoptive father. Then he and his brother had fought resulting in Deaglans death though the killing blow hadn't been dealt by Ru. How could her worries begin to compare to that? Sure her brother sought to kill her on more than one occasion and even though it hurt her she knew that he didn't like her from when she was young. Didn't it hurt more to have the one you believed suddenly destroy everything you cared for? The fact that he was still here and moving forward proved to her that he was so much stronger than her in many senses.

After having told him what she thought she remained silent giving him a chance to think about what she had said. His voice broke the air to tell her that he didn't know how he felt about it all yet but that she was probably right. Their adoptive father might have continued to hurt his next mate and children. A small thought came to her one that made her shiver. What if it wasn't the first time that he had done it? She spoke without realizing it, her voice small. Isaura hadn't known the male but what was to say that he hadn't slaughtered others before Ru's family? How many had been hurt before and how many had Ru and his brother saved with what they had done?

I think you helped a lot Ru. How many times could he have done something like this before he was stopped? How many lives have you spared by just one 'impure' act? I think no matter what your intentions where you helped to stop someone who needed to be stopped. She told him this time speaking with more conviction. Her shadow had done the right thing and that was that.

A kiss was given to her in return as she told him that they could continue to look for his father. He spoke saying that he didn't know if he wanted to continue to look for his father or make a life with her. Whatever you decide to do I'll follow you. She responded simply. If he wanted to find his father then she would help him. If he wanted to start something with her, and her heart pounded at the thought, she would stay with him to start that new life.

Part of him felt better for having told Isaura what he and Deaglan had done before they'd left their home for good. The other part still grieved for the brother that he'd not had the chance to make amends with. Still there was another part that was grateful that his treasure hadn't run away from him. Instead she seemed to support and even want to try and help him to come to terms with the evils that we're in his past. More and more he was glad that he'd come across such and understanding creature in that forest of fog. He no longer had to feel alone in the place that had become his home and he didn't worry that she would leave him. All the promises they had made would hold and not he broken because the thing that he thought would break them hadn't.

He found comfort in her presence next to him and listened to the words that she spoke to him about his adoptive father. All of it falling into place in a way that made him feel that she was right that he and Deaglan had done the world a favor by removing their adoptive father from it. His yellow gaze met her blue one as she spoke again. “Then it would most certainly mean that he could do it again. I cannot say for sure if he had done it before.” The truth was he didn't know much about his adoptive father before he had been born and for awhile he had believed the man to be his father.

She went on and he took her words in and to heart, he knew she was right. That the man who had raised him needed to be stopped. As he remembered all of the horrible things he'd had to do under the mans orders the doubt that had been in his mind was slowly dissipating. “I don't know how many lives have been saved or are made happier by his death but even if it's just one life that makes it worth it. That another won't have to go through what my family had to, what my mother had to.” He understood why his mother had wanted to leave and find his real father, her lover. He didn't blame her and had she not done it and they hadn't gotten caught then he and his brother wouldn't have had the courage to do what they did.

The question of what to do now was one that didn't have to be answered right then. He still needed some time to come to terms with Deaglan's death. It wasn't ideal for them to be wandering in winter but he had faith they would make it through if they stayed together. “As soon as I know I will make sure you know,” he said kissing her crown. “I won't ever keep anything else from you.” It was a promise he knew he could keep. She had become more than just a wolf he'd promised to protect but a confidant, a friend. His feelings for her had grown deep.

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The thought of a wolf that was able to have a family, raise children, and then try and slaughter them all scared and worried her. She knew that he wasn't around anymore but what was to say that the next wolf they came across from trying something similar. That the next wolf didn't have the blood of his own pups between his teeth? She didn't know what should worry her more. Coming across a wolf like that or her brother. No, she knew and it wasn't Aeolus.

Her shadow agreed that he probably could have done it again but that he didn't know if he had done it before answering the words she hadn't realized she had spoken. If Ru agreed then it was good that this wolf wasn't around anymore. It wouldn't have gone well with anyone that he had met. She tucked herself for neatly against her shadow's side as she came to the realization that she was glad that he wasn't around anymore. That she was glad that Ru and his brother had been able to take care of him. That she was glad that she wouldn't have to ever meet him.

Ru's voice tugged her from her thoughts as he said that he didn't know how many he had saved but that even one life was worth it. The snowbird agreed on that completely. Then I think you can count one life already because what if it had been him that had found me in the forest instead of you? She whispered the words feeling bitter as the rolled from her tongue. What if she had met him before she had met Ru? Her mouth went dry. Nothing good would have come from it.

Her shadow didn't know what they were going to do next and she was okay with that. Take your time there isn't a rush. As long as she could stay with him, and he had already told her that she could and then some, there wasn't ever going to be a hurry. The thought of them simply traveling around also held a certain appeal to her as well but she was more than content to full her shadow were ever he went and help him with whatever he decided.