Skyfall Glen We ain't deserving of everything Heaven and Earth is

@Odin  M for mentions of non-con
RE:A cold snap seizes Relic Lore in its icy grip!

It was late and try as she might, Lenae just couldn't sleep. As cold as it was, bitter and biting as though it was was still the dead of winter, that wasn't what kept her awake. She just couldn't stop thinking about what @Cheedo had said-or rather yelled- the day before. It couldn't be true, could it? She knew in her heart of hearts that it was, that her heat had come to an end for a reason, but she couldn't quite believe it. After everything she went through last spring, being used and abused over and over, it just didn't make sense that it would happen now, rather than then.

Whilst everyone was asleep Lenae ambled down the mountain into the tangled Ghastly Woods. She had spent so many weeks hiding amongst the undergrowth that it felt as though they had gotten to know one another. It wasn't quite as spooky as she'd first thought and once she took the time to familiarise herself it wasn't so hard to navigate through the twists and tangles of the low hanging foliage. Pushing her way through she eventually found what she was looking for, Skyfall Glen.

Warily, she stepped out into the open, her ears pinned to her skull as she glanced from side to side. Surely no one would be roaming these parts at this hour but it never hurt to be cautious. Once she was fairly certain that she was alone, safe, did she pace over to the lakeshore, her tail hanging limp between her legs, as always. It was the same as last time....except the the strange dark thing under the ice was gone, nowhere to be seen. Her heart seized in her chest as she inched a little closer, stepping out onto the ice to get a better look. Her claws clicked and ticked on the ice as she moved forward and sure enough, her eyes hadn't deceived her. Perhaps things weren't quite as stable as she had thought, things changed and soon enough her body would too.

She wined at the thought. She wasn't-nor would she ever be- ready. She could barely look after herself on good days, how was she supposed to provide for little ones? What if Cheedo was right, what if they died? Just as Cheedo had claimed, it would break her, smash the remaining pieces to dust so there was nothing left. It went without saying that Lenae would try but her worries dogged her every step, overshadowed every other thought that tried to pass through her mind. Lenae was such a mess, it was no wonder she'd gotten herself into such a situation. She would have laughed if she didn't feel so hopeless, so pitiful.

My life started the day I got caught
Under the covers, with secondhand lovers
hallelujah - Panic! at the disco

all you sinners stand up sing hallelujah

Odin Archer

Why she had followed him still left the boy puzzled. He had fucked up so badly and yet here Kip was, hanging around the mountain and acting like he didn't exist. His anxiety only increased when he realised Lenae's scent had changed, the image overlaid with that of his mother and her swelling sides as they trekked to Torbine, the stress and panic of it all causing his lips to draw down in a grimace. There was only so many times he could pee on the same rock before he felt like he was going to choke.

So when he crossed Lenae's trail heading down the mountain, he followed it, heedless to what others might read into it. By the time he caught up with her, she was out on the ice, and he paused, his own shoulders hunching as he all but crawled to the bank not wanting to add his own weight to the frozen water. His low whine joined the chorus of her own as he stared at the outline of her back. What had he done?

(This post was last modified: Mar 18, 2018, 09:04 AM by Odin.)

A young deer has been separated from the rest of its herd. Hunt Opportunity

Lenae turned, slowly, as to not slip. It took a moment or so of staring for recognition to kick in, but  it was him, wasn't it? The father of her unborn children. Her expression softened a touch as her tail swished once in greeting, before curling back in between her legs, where it belonged. He looked miserable, like a kicked dog,  so of course Lenae worried Was he okay? What had happened?  And most importantly,what could she do to make it better?

"What's wrong?" She asked softly, backing off the ice, slowly and steady till her paws were on firm land.

It didn't occur to her that he knew of her condition, she just- for once- assumed that the wrongness was all on him. That something had happened since they had last met, it had been quite some time so there was certainly room for it. A lot could change in a week, Lenae knew that more than most. She wasn't much, nor had she ever been, but if there was something she could do to help elevate his hurt then she would do it. She wasn't in a jovial mood but she forced on a tight smile nonetheless as she forced her ears forward, away from her skull. It didn't last long.

"Did...did something happen? She asked as she gently touched his crown with her nose, offering whatever little comfort she could manage.

(This post was last modified: Mar 18, 2018, 04:50 PM by Lenae.)

all you sinners stand up sing hallelujah

Odin Archer

At the end of the day, she was worried about him because that was the sort of wolf that she was. He pushed up to plant a gentle kiss to her chin, his tail tapping against the ground at his back, he was at a loss as to what he should do. Should he apologise? Roll over and show her his stomach like he had with Lorcan and Kip? Somehow he doubted that would be enough, but her question left him with an out, prompting the boy to force out a chuckle, though it sounded rather dry when it finally met the air. "Ah, jus' th' usual, everyone kickin' my arse, not that I don't deserve it... But what about you? Can I get yer anything? Food or..." he had been about to offer some sweet grass when his eye took in their surroundings. That was right, winter wasn't quite ready to give up it's hold quite yet. "Well, I mean, anything! Jus' say th' word an' I'll do m' best!" He wanted her to know she could depend on him, no matter what.

Lenae winched at his words. That wasn't right, if the blame had to be laid at anyone's paws it was hers. She was old enough to know better, she had experience on her side and what had she done with it? Nothing, she had just thrown caution to the wind, as if everything her family had taught her was meaningless. If that wasn't bad enough, Lenae couldn't help but fear that she'd taken advantage of Odin. He was younger than her, maybe too young, so the fact that she'd dragged him into this mess made it all the more difficult to swallow. Odin deserved so much better, more than she could ever give him.

"I'm fine, thank you." She reassured, accepting his apologetic kiss with a nose boob of her own. If he didn't want to stand tall then neither did she. She hunkered down to his level, her tummy resting against the cold ground as she pulled her legs inwards and pressed them against her side. "I just want to say....I'm sorry I did this to you. You were only trying to help and I-" she swallowed thickly. "I should have known better..."She trailed off till her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

She looked up at him then, taking in the sight of his face, the worry gleaming in his eyes. It was a bad situation all around but...to an extent she was glad it was Odin, someone she could trust.

"If you don't want to be...involved it's okay. I won't be mad."

had a one way ticket to the place where all the demons go

Odin Archer

Odin could only shake his head at her apologies, but if he tried to counter it he knew they'd get caught in an apology loop and they'd never get anywhere. Instead he let it slide, laughing just a little, "Don't go blaming yerself, I wasn' an unwillin' participant." The last thing he wanted her to do was find a reason to put more blame on herself. The few shy smiles he had caught suited her far better than the worried look she wore right now, but he wouldn't dare to tell her that. Besides, he preferred when it wasn't forced. He'd just have to try harder until it came naturally.

"Are you kidding?" He countered when she offered to let him off the hook, a smile beginning to pull at the edge of his mouth, "I love kids! I mean, my own upbringing was apparently a bit... Well, you weren't there when ma an' Craw an' Wraith were there together so it's hardly worth mentionin', but I really wanna be there, fer all of yers." His response was earnest, his tail thumping the ground betraying the hint of excitement at the possibility. Sure he was young, but he was old enough to own up to his stupidity once it was pointed out, and he'd never entertain the possibility of ever letting the 'A' word slip, certain his mother would hear it from half way across the Lore and materialise to whoop his arse.

He didn't have any regrets, and he was willing to work as hard as he had to to try and make sure she didn't either. "I won' lie, it's a bit terrifyin' but... Well I reckon yer'll be an amazing ma', an' I'd really appreciate a chance ter prove I can do right, by everyone." Not just Lenae and any children she might be carrying, but by the rest of the Tarn wolves too. He kinda really owed Lorc for not throwing him straight off the side of the mountain after all.

With self esteem as low as the mariana trench Lenae would always want to shoulder the blame. It felt as though guilt was embedded into her code, her foundation, and without it she would crumble into something she wasn't. Odin had a point though, it wasn't as if-she flushed at the thought- she'd made him. He had been very sweet and almost puppyish in his eagerness to please. Still, the 'what ifs' lingered in the back of her mind, coiling around the few shreds of hope and squeezing till they ruptured, like blood vessels.

Lenae assumed that he would take her up on the offer, that he would want to back away into the shadows, out of sight and mind, but apparently not. Apparently she didn't know him as well as she thought. He wanted to stay and do his part- tears began to prickle at Lenae's eyes and she blinked rapidly to chase them away. She didn't quite understand what he was referring to, about his upbringing, but the fact that he wanted to be there, for their children was more than she could have hoped for. Going it alone-even with the packs support- was a terrifying prospect. What would she have told her children if they asked about their Father? That he was a nobody, a nameless, faceless man that vanished after the deed was done? Lenae shook her head, it was okay, she was okay.

Odin was right about that, it was terrifying, the big unknown staring back at them, but....Was Lenae foolish to think they could get through it? She hoped not.

"I don't know about that."She shuffled a little closer, embarrassed, yet somehow pleased that he thought such a thing of her. It was true that she liked children.... She looked down at her paws, her brows knotting as she pursed her lips in thought. Seeing as it was so cold out, she figured she might as well siddle a little closer. Just to make sure he wasn't cold. Resting her slight side against his-he was so tall and lanky in comparison- she sighed, her tail curling over her back legs.

"But...despite what some people think I'm trying. I want to look after them, to be good to them, but...it's so hard to cope sometimes. What if I'm not good enough?

had a one way ticket to the place where all the demons go

Odin Archer

Odin was never particuarly good with feelings so when Lenae continued to doubt herself, a weight settled in the pit of his stomach. He was going to fuck it up if he opened his mouth, wasn't he? He couldn't just say the first thing that came to mind, could he? Despite what some people think? That bought a scowl to his face, though far from being directed at her, he stared out across the frozen water and worried the inside of his cheek. "Anyone gives yer a hard time, jus' say th' word an' I'll sort 'em out." And he meant it to. There was no smirk to soften the words, no laugh to convey it as a joke. If dealing with her problems involved chasing them away, well that was something he could manage, never mind nothing was ever that simple - he hadn't come to that realisation yet. "But yer gonna do fine, look at Cyril huh? He's alive, an' if it gets too much, jus' say the word an' I'll step in so yer can take a breath, or Piety will step in, yer know she won't let yer go it alone." He tried to smile reasurringly, but the weight of it all seemed overwhelming in some moments. The only solace he could take was that nothing had managed to keep him down yet. He really did smile with that realisation. "We're all gonna be jus' fine."

Lenae appreciated the sentiment, she truly did, but the idea of having Odin deal with her problems just seemed...It wasn't fair, she should have been strong enough to deal with her own issues and yet she just wasn't. She was convinced of that and would likely stay that way for quite a while yet. It was true that they were in this together, that they'd gotten into this mess of their own volition but the road ahead was still daunting, for both of them.

"Cyril's a little different."She mumbled, not wanting to correct him but it needed to be said. "He was...supposed to be.. And it's....I'm not upset and I don't regret it but it feels like it's hanging over me. That what if's, the things I should have done."

She was still processing it all, even then it was so much to take in, that her life-without her even meaning to- had skidded off onto an altogether new road. One she hadn't been ready at all to go down. That was how things went though, wasn't it? Her life had taken twists and turns, she'd soared high, only to crash down to the ground to start all over again. Maybe this...maybe this was yet another fresh start, a new beginning. To climb out of the rubble and begin her ascent once more.

She sighed once more- how many times was it now?- before she joined Odin in staring out at the lake. It helped settle her nerves a little, that and Odin's warm side pressed against hers.

"We can try, do our best. Can't ask for any more."She murmured, unsure if she was trying to reassure herself, or the father of her unborn children.