Mountain of Dire say you won’t let go

Near CWT, nighttime, @Odin

Talking with Lorcan and Lenae had helped put things into perspective. She and Odin had a lot of shit to talk about, and... well, it looked like she was going to have to be the one to initiate the conversation. So, the small wolf stepped outside of their territory markers and cleared her throat before letting out a low, soft howl for him to come to her.

She stood to the side and watched the stars as they peeked through the dense clouds above. It was up to him now if he wanted to do something to fix this or not. She didn’t want an ultimatum that night - only communication, which he would be free to escape from whenever he wanted.

All there was left to do was wait.

(This post was last modified: Mar 27, 2018, 02:12 AM by Kip.)

I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me

Odin Archer

Odin hadn't been sleeping much. It wasn't a choice that he had made, but with the knowledge of Lenae's condition, knowing Piety was in the same state, well, there was always a what if. What if that recent mountain lion trail meant the cat was staying in the area instead of heading in another direction? What if the warming weather loosened more snow and sent it hurling towards the tarn like an unstoppable wave of white? What if he let them all down?

He was headed up the mountain when the call came, pausing for a moment to glance over his shoulder. He was pretty sure everything that needed to be said had been, and to be perfectly honest he was just about done with being chewed out. He acknowledged his mistake, and he was trying to fix it. He didn't need anyone on his case about it, least of all Kip.

His sigh unleashed a billowing cloud of steam into the frigid night air as he turned to continue on the narrow path to higher altitudes, making sure to angle away from the direction of her call. There wasn't anything he could say to Kip to make things okay, so he'd only be wasting her time by answering.

When he didn’t respond, Kip initially was going to drop it. Be the bigger person and let it go. But for all her attempts and intentions and ideas, she couldn’t quite suppress the urge to go find him herself... she couldn’t quite manage it.

It was easy to find Odin once she tried, and catching up was no problem as well. She was panting slightly, her paws finding easy purchase on the sharp rocks beneath her feet. ”Odin!” she called breathlessly, suppressing the anger that rose in her chest that he hadn’t come when she called him.

”I’m... I’m not here to fight,” she admitted, lowering her head. ”I wanted to... apologize. For overreacting. You didn’t know, and I shouldn’t have blamed you - I was just... hurt, I guess? I thought you knew that I lo-... how I felt about you.”

She hesitated before her next question. ”Do... do you hate me now...?” she asked, her ears flicking backwards.

(This post was last modified: Mar 27, 2018, 12:46 PM by Kip.)

had a one way ticket to the place where all the demons go

Odin Archer

The sound of dull claws scraping across stone caused the Archer's jaw to clench. Climbing a mountain in the dark was precarious enough, doing it with one eye was probably lunacy but he grew up on the Monadnock and thought himself pretty well adjusted. That didn't mean he wouldn't be at a disadvantage if someone with two eyes, more speed, and better balance decided they wanted to collide with him. He began to pay more attention to where he was placing his paws.

He didn't turn when his name was called, but he did stop walking, shoulders going tense as he silently cursed himself. He should have known better. Of course she was going to chase him down. Where the Archer was happy to leave things be, clearly Kip couldn't. What he hadn't expected was the words that fell from her tongue, enough to bring his head back along his shoulder, to make sure it was actually her and not some ethereal apparition.

Not that she didn't look the part beneath the waxing moon, her pale fur standing out in stark contrast against the dark stone, but also wavering - there, and then not, hidden among the strewn out banks of snow that broke up the darker expanse of rough rock and twiggy shrubs. He chewed the inside of his cheek, single eye narrowing as he considered. If he broke the silence would she disappear?

Finally he turned to face her, a heavy sigh chasing the tension from his stance, his head dipping low in defeat. "Of course I don't hate you, I just don't know what you want." He finally responded flatly. He was quickly coming to realise he didn't know much of anything these days.

Shallow water has trapped several fish in a small pond. Hunt Opportunity

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. They must have looked like something out of a child’s tale - a small, pale white figure staring up at a dauntingly large black one. Backed by snow and the stars and lit by moonlight.... and of course Odin looked absolutely magnificent.

”Well, I know what I want,” she stated clearly, seafoam eyes not moving from Odin’s singular amber. ”I want to be your equal. I want to be your friend - no, your best friend, because I thought that was what we were all along.” She took a shaky breath, almost choking on the words she was attempting to say. ”I want you to take care of Lenae and your puppies, because she’s a really sweet lady and she doesn’t deserve to have to do this on her own.”

Her voice started breaking then, tears burning her eyes as she struggled to keep talking. ”And I know it’s selfish, but.., I just want to sleep beside you and be your best friend and your confidant and the person you go to when things get hard to deal with. I want you to think I’m beautiful and great and awesome, because I think that about you. I want you to stop pretending like I don’t exist, because I love you so much that I would follow you anywhere in the entire world - and I have. I haven’t let you be alone,” she choked out, her breath hitching in emotion.

”And I won’t leave you, because I love everything about you. I love how gruff and groggy you are when you wake up in the mornings. I love how you want to protect everyone. I love that you don’t treat me like I’m worth less than you. I love how hard you’re trying right now, with Lenae and the pack and figuring everything out. I love you, Odin.” She said it all in a rush, afraid that if she stopped, she wouldn’t start back up again and everything she needed to say would just disappear.

”Please don’t walk away from me,” she whispered raggedly, her head low and her eyes downcast, almost ashamed of herself. ”It was really hard for me to say... all of that, and I couldn’t stand it if you just walked off.”

(This post was last modified: Mar 27, 2018, 01:50 PM by Kip.)

had a one way ticket to the place where all the demons go

Odin Archer

Odin didn't know what he had been expecting but it certainly wasn't that. Her words cut right through him, like teeth to the bone and he didn't realise he was holding his breath until stars started to dance in the corners of his eyes. She loved him? but how? When? Why? He didn't move to walk away, but he didn't move to close the distance between them either. He didn't trust himself to move, to speak, because he was convinced that if he did, he'd find himself waking up to discover that all of this was just a dream after all.

His jaw clenched and then relaxed, his tail hanging limp and pointed toward the ground. How was he meant to respond to that? Some fairytale declaration, surely he was meant to do more than lose the strength in the back half of his body and sit there dumbfounded. "I already think all those things anyway, but I thought you'd never want to see me again. I thought I was making things easier for you." Because honestly, after what he'd done, she had every right to never want to see him again. He hadn't even been sleeping in a den, preferring to tuck himself between strewn rocks, much like he had done out on the lowlands because he had convinced himself it was better for everyone that way.

He still couldn't shake the feeling there was something blurred in what she was asking for, and even though he didn't have a right to ask he didn't want to go into this blind again. "Is being friends really all you want?" Because it hadn't seemed to be enough last time.

He didn’t run or yell or anything that she thought he would do. Instead, he was calm and stood still, and Kip couldn’t have been more grateful. She couldn’t find her own words to say for a few moments, but eventually pressed her ears back a bit in thought. ”I always want to see you. Why else would I stick with you for over half a year? I want to see you all the time, Odin.” She was feeling more confident in her statements now, and her voice had stopped its incessant wavering.

Good. She hated getting so emotional.

But then he asked the question about being friends, and it took Kip aback a bit. She hesitated, clearly thinking hard, before looking up at him once more. ”No, it’s not. Or at least, it won’t be forever. But it all really depends on you now,” she responded gently, offering him a cautious smile to show that it was okay. ”I don’t want to force you into anything. I just... I want to know what you think of me. What you want from me.”

I wasn't ready to act right

There was something in the way Kip said always and all the time that made his chest squeeze and his heart speed up in a self-preservation kind of way, rather than the little flip-flops it might have made before. It made sense, he supposed, he'd just been blind to it. He had been a terrible person not to realise it before. Just being friends was never going to be enough for her. Hadn't Kara warned about girls like this and how they'd want to back him into a corner? Hadn't his mother done the same? He was suddenly struggling to breathe.

Somehow, he got the impression that saying it was up to him was just words. She'd already come after him when he left her at the rise, and again tonight. Everywhere he turned she was there, even if it was just a whiff of her scent on the breeze. There was saying that she didn't want to force him into anything, and then there were her actions that spoke so loudly of the opposite - following him here in the first place, and then up the mountain when he didn't answer her call tonight. His eye narrowed with distrust. "I dunno if I can do it Kip," he answered her honestly, "I've got a lot goin' on righ' now." He had thought his silence would be enough to convey his want for space, but as things so often went, she wanted things to go at her pace, or not at all.

"Let's jus'... deal with bein' packmates first. We can maybe work on th' friends thing later, but its late. Yer should be gettin' back. There's a cat up 'ere somewhere," and that was just what the newly founded pack needed with a bare medicinal cache. At least if he laid a scent out this way it might encourage the feline to piss off away from them but he wouldn't go putting someone else at risk. He was sure she'd have more to say, but he turned away regardless. He didn't have to look at her to listen.

Odin Archer

(This post was last modified: Apr 01, 2018, 03:47 PM by Odin.)

Of course they couldn’t be friends. Of course he would react this way. Of course she would develop feelings for a wolf who would never be able to reciprocate - who wouldn’t even be willing to try for her.

She was so fucking stupid.

Maybe it was selfish of her, and maybe she was just a horrible person, but she wondered when she was going to be treated like a priority instead of an afterthought. Because that truly was all she felt like right now - like something that had been enjoyed and cared for and used up until he no longer wanted her. Then, she’d been tossed away in favor of the new, shiny thing. And she understood he had just made a mistake, but why did that mistake have to wipe away Kip’s importance in his life?

God, she hated how hurt she was right now.

There were things she wanted to say, and she almost did, but something in her refused to allow her to speak. So she simply turned her back on Odin and started padding in the opposite direction.

They didn’t have to speak to be packmates.

{ e x i t K i p }

(This post was last modified: May 11, 2018, 03:49 PM by Kip.)