Clearwater Tarn lay here with me and forget the world

She didn't think it would matter if she told him her grievances against him. She had tried with him before, gave him the chance to show that he cared but he'd brushed it off and now he wanted to act like it mattered. Fine then.

She listened as he once again expressed that she needed to tell him what her problem was. Then he went in to try and say he had listened to her and apologized to her, how he'd tried to make an effort to get to know her. It was all laugh able to her. She turned around and faced him again keeping her posture calm and neutral. “It's hardly an apology Lorcan when it's followed by a question of loyalty, would you consider that a real? What I would do if Mittani returned should never have been a question. The fact that I was here with Piety when I could have left so many times should have taken that thought from your mind. I am loyal to her can't you see that?” She took a breath letting her gaze drop to her paws for a moment before she looked back up at him.

“Did you really listen? I shared some really personal stuff with you and all you focused on was Mittani, while I do understand your concern whether I agree with it or not it hurt that he was all that you cared about. I understand you were in line to be leader and you have to think about the pack but in that moment I didn't need the alpha who only cared about the pack. I needed Lorcan the man who had come to me to try and fix things and the one that cares about each subordinate as an individual.”

Then there was the getting to know her that she felt should be addressed as well. “I want to believe that you have tried to get to know me Lorcan but it's hard. Maybe had you come to speak to me after Ody had come or I felt like you had heard me when we talked or even just go out hunting or scouting with me even just have a conversation about anything, something stupid. Do you even realize that I have been going through so much these past weeks? I'm more than willing to give you a chance Lorcan to show me you can be a leader I can respect and trust. I want to be able to because I want the same for the Tarn as Piety does. If that's going to happen we have to work this out so I'm trying again. Please hear me this time.”

She hoped that he did that they could work through things. Any of her other issues with him she was convinced that it was her and what was going in with her and she just needed a little time but these were her biggest issues with him.

(This post was last modified: Mar 31, 2018, 06:36 PM by Cheedo.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you

Cheedo stopped and turned around to face him again. Lorcan's ears pressed back for a moment, feeling uncomfortable as they looked at each other. Russet ears flickered back up when the small female began to offer him her side of it all, her reasons repeatedly giving him the cold shoulder. Going by experience, Lorcan chose to remain silent and listen, no matter how much his frown deepened in obvious disagreement. She reminded him of Inna, the way she was quick to put the blame on him but accept none of it herself. 

Black-tipped tail flickered behind him in irritation as he tried his best, like her, to hold a neutral expression. At least, keep his fangs from flashing out from behind his charcoal lips again. His golden eyes remained focused on her, searching to hold her sea green gaze for entire length of time she spoke to him. When she was finished, Lorcan grit his teeth together and allowed a small pause — to stop himself from physically lashing out if anything — before replying.

"I did listen, and if I didn't care I wouldn't have even bothered to try and apologise, or even be confronting you right now..." He corrected her bluntly, before continuing. 

"You told me how Mittani had been the one to look after you, after your pups unfortunately didn't make it. You told me how close you were, how much you loved each other — and I am sorry for what you had to go through in the past, but that does not mean I had no right to question you in regards to your feelings for him now. He helped you through something terrible, so it only seemed reasonable to me that you might still hold some attachment to him, even now that you follow Piety and me." Lorcan explained, his voice less aggressive now, but more authoritative. 

"I've been trying to get to know you Cheedo, to talk and spend time with you — like today for example — but it is hard when you either refuse to stop and talk or give me eye contact, or just give me dirty looks all the time. It's not exactly the best way to make friends, or treat your leader is it?" Lorcan let his words sink in for a moment whilst glaring down at Cheedo. He gave a decisive flick of his tail. He didn't like to be mean, but there came a time when enough was enough.

"I'm sorry, but I have tried to make an effort with you and, quite frankly, if you don’t approve of my leadership you can leave." He stated coldly, a dark frown pinching the space between his pale brows. "The border's that way." He said sharply, pointing to the mountain pass behind her with his muzzle. 

(This post was last modified: Mar 31, 2018, 07:46 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

She was trying to make things better between her and Lorcan so that Piety could have that place of refuge she so wanted. Cheedo knew that couldn't happen if she and Lorcan couldn't get along. As she spoke though she saw the tell tale signs that he was unhappy with what she was saying that he clearly thought she was wrong in what she felt. Was this the treatment she would receive every time she tried to express herself. She was trying to have an adult conversation with this man but he seemed fit to not even see what she had meant. Yet again he was focusing on Mittani. She didn't need her past recounted to her she had lived it, she knew what had happened. She supposed she was wrong in thinking that they could be friends, she had tried to speak to him as a friend, someone she trusted that day. “I am sorry that I felt you hadn't listened to me clearly I was wrong,” she said before looking at her paws. She didn't know how else to make him see so she felt it was best to leave it where it was. She had tried to explain but she didn't know any other way to word it. Maybe he was just angry and couldn't see it from her perspective she didn't know but she didn't feel this would be resolved.

He considered one time marking borders to be spending time with her, building a friendship with her? And then he used the present day as an example when she was already hurt by his previous actions. The whole time he spoke to her he glared at her but she had to ignore it. “I'm sorry, I must not have recognized that you were trying to get to know me,” she said wondering if maybe she'd expected too much from him. As for friends she was feeling like she was losing one everyday, was that her fault? She offered a, “No it's not, I'm sorry for my recent behavior. It won't happen again.” She supposed it was great just to stay in her place where he was concerned. She felt he'd made it clear that any kind of friendship they could have possibly had wasn't going to happen. It seemed he wanted her to be a subordinate and that was all.

It was made even more clear to her his feelings on everything when he pointed the way to the border because she had tried to be truthful with him. To help him to become a better leader but instead of listening it seemed he had taken offense. “Are you going to kick me out without giving me a chance to do better?”

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you

Sorry, sorry, sorry. 

It's all he could hear echoing between his ears, though Lorcan couldn't be sure if he genuinely believed that she truly was sorry. 

Still, the male was not heartless. Since she had promised to do better, to behave more appropriately, and not like a spoilt child who wasn't getting her own way, Lorcan would give her one last chance. 

He shook his head at her question, though his teeth were gritted together in frustration. "No. I couldn't do that to Piety, she adores you, and despite your obvious disliking towards me you have remained a valued, hard-working member of this pack. It would be a shame to lose you this soon, especially under these circumstances." He told her, his golden gaze not moving from her sea green eyes.

"I will say this though. Should your attitude not improve I will not hesitate in chasing you out next time." He warned with a frown. Stepping to circle closely around her, his tail lifted to wave dominantly behind him, Lorcan moved to grasp her muzzle firmly between his jaws before releasing them again.

"Now go, you are dismissed." Lorcan had been through enough. If Cheedo was not prepared to act like a mature adult around him, Lorcan was not prepared to treat her like anything more than his subordinate. 

~ Fade ~

(This post was last modified: Mar 31, 2018, 09:10 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together