also some useless trivia about my life: in 2010 a friend of mine went on a rant about this song and how it was the worst song ever written and every time i hear it i think about how freaking angry they were about this song hahahaa (iris by the goo goo dolls)
The most curious thing about ferns was the way they rolled up.
Azra spent a lot of time thinking about this. Probably an unusual or unhealthy amount of time for a normal wolf, though Azra had never pretended—for himself or for others—to be anything close to normal. He was just exactly who wanted to be from sun rise to moon set, which made keeping companions difficult. His travelling buddies did not care to listen to him yammer on about ferns and so he had very politely parted ways with them weeks ago.
Ferns were an old type of plant, older than trees. And when life got too tough they would just ever so carefully curl their tendrils up into themselves. If ever there was a sign that plants were sentient, to Azra it was this, and it made his heart ache. He too had seen hard times, recent and long, long ago. Once upon a time the slight, persistent cough of someone else was enough to set his lung quivering, vehemently demanding air, more air, just to breath. He would curl up like a fern until it felt safe enough to come back out.
Telling stories helped, talking about what had happened to him made it easier to bare and slowly he was able to unfurl more parts of himself to the world. And he discovered that he really did like telling stories, especially if they weren't sad and he could make up anything he wanted and didn't have to stick to some order of events or faithful representation of the ash-stained faces that got harder and harder to picture as time went on. That was not to say he forgot his family entirely—in fact they often wound up in his stories one way or another, a shade of them.
Normally Azra's thoughts did not linger on such difficult topics, but the breeze tasted just so old and familiar. He had to steady himself against the great barrel of a tree. The fire was a long way off, probably just the woods natural shedding of useless old logs and lichen. New growth, Azra reminded himself through closed eyes, new growth. This was as close as Azra dare get to his old home, burned down in a similar casting-off, or something like that. Home was so close, just a couple of miles south but he could not go any closer or else he would have to see the new stuff that grew all over his old memories. Those were the best memories: of following beetles, pushing his sister into the river, and listening to his dad talk about trees. Seeing them covered in saplings and open sky was too much.
So he sat here and breathed against the timeless chest of the tree, thinking about ferns.