Lost Lake so put your best face on everybody

The redwoods themselves, she suggested. It was certainly possible. Perhaps they oozed a uniquely sweet-smelling sap? Then who or what was here covered and sticky?

"What made you decide to stay?" he asked, the curiosity about the scent fading, replaced with interest in Oksana's time before settling in with the Cove. He didn't often hear of others being so well-traveled as it seemed she had been, especially when they had a parent present. It sounded like a nice way to live, in his opinion, and maybe Oksana hadn't decided to stay after all. His dual-colored eyes drifted over to her dial.

Oksana was still trying to figure out where she'd smelled that scent before when Chan sprung a question on her. Why she'd decided to stay in the lore. It was something she'd thought about and doubted before she came to the cove.

"Well, to start my family is here. They may not be alive but they are here. Mostly curiosity, I wanted to know if anyone else had come back or new wolves had come."

It was much different for her now. Being in the cove had made her realize just how much she missed being around others. That being on her own was lonely and hard. Thought she'd learned to survive with her injury it wasn't always easy especially on the coldest days.

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That was a curious admission. They weren't alive, but they were still here. He immediately thought of his father's remains, still buried on the other side of the lake by the same rubble that had killed him. Maybe Chan really was just an awful son.

"It's home?" he asked softly for clarification, mismatched gaze flitting to her own sunset sights.

Curiosity was the same thing that had brought Lila back, but it hadn't kept her around. What was it he and she lacked that wolves like Sana and Al had found?

She felt the question was a little strange to be honest. Wasn't the lore his home too? She knew he'd just mentioned having been born in the lore. As odd as she thought it was she chose to answer it. Maybe there was a reason he'd asked that question in the way that he had.

"You know, I was born here and I grew up here. The lore is where so much happened to me as a pup. Good or bad it's all part of it. When I was out wandering from place to place after leaving the lore I never found anywhere that made me feel the way it did."

That was the best way she could explain it. Sure sometimes it felt like the memories were always bad. Other times it was only the good ones that came to her. Without both she didn't think it was home.

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It seemed to all make perfect sense to her, when for Chan those things did not define the word 'home.' He hadn't been lying, when he'd fought with Lila that day. He thought for a moment, letting silence settle around them long enough to think it might be allowed to stay.

"So... what do you think of wolves like me, then? Born and raised, the Lore isn't my home. Neither... is my family," it hurt to say, even when it was true. He loved them, wanted the best for them, wanted to spend time with them, yet they were not enough to fulfill him. There was always something missing.

"... I'm starting to think some see me as callous for it."

Though the place that she returned to had changed and the pack she was with was different the Lore would probably always be her home. Chan posed a good question however. She didn't answer immediately, wanting to give it the thought that it deserved.

"I think that some wolves are like that. That for whatever reasons they have their birth place and family are not enough to keep them put. I think my aunt was like that. She'd come home for a little while and then she'd leave again but it didnt mean she loved us any less."

Oksana might not fully understand it because she wasn't like Chan but she wouldn't fault him for it. Part of her felt it was something that he might no even understand himself or maybe he couldn't even help it.

The crow shook her head, "I don't think its callous of you Chan. Though I won't lie to you some might. I do have a question for you though?"

(This post was last modified: Jan 16, 2022, 03:36 AM by Oksana.)

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Well, he supposed that was good at least. It's just the way it was, she seemed to say. His gaze drifted back out to the frozen surface of Lost Lake, thoughts swirling behind. At least she wasn't outright abhorred by his words, wasn't judging him for them or trying to steer him in another direction. Of course, Oksana also had very little at stake in the matter.

"Yes?" he encouraged, without looking up.

The more they talk the more the crow felt like Chan might be searching for something. She doubted that she was the one that could give them to him. That didn't stop her from at least explaining to him how she felt about how he lived his life.

The truth was that because she believed her home was in the lore and that the wolves thereade it home she didn't understand. She didn't judge him because she understood ever wolf was different but she didn't think it fair to write him off just because he didn't find his home in the land or his family.

"I'm not sure how to put this because I don't want to offend you." Almost as soon as she'd said it she regretted it but she wouldn't back track. "What makes you feel the way that you do?" She asked but opened her mouth to speak once more, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I feel like it's a personal thing. I would just like to understand better that's all."

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The question didn't didn't start off great, but Chan appreciated her honesty and her tone remained far too inoffensive to take illy to. Still, when it did come out, he was genuinely surprised that she seemed to truly think he knew the answer.

"I really don't think I know," he answered truthfully, mismatched gaze hopping back to her dial and harvest-moon eyes.

"I guess that's probably the problem."

Honestly, he was starting to wonder if it wasn't something or someplace but some... one, that he was missing. Whatever the absent piece was, he and it clearly had yet to cross paths. At least, he prayed that he hadn't lost his opportunity to find home without even realizing it was there.

(This post was last modified: Jan 20, 2022, 05:17 AM by Chan.)

Oksana knew she'd had a bad start to her question. It's was like question asking 101 you don't start off like Sue did. Still she'd plowed ahead and got her question out. Then she wanted to close her eyes in case he did get upset about it. It was personal and just the way she asked was very off putting even to her own ears. He didn't get mad though and answered her Truthfully.

"Maybe that's how it is though, maybe you won't know until you find. It."

Even if he didn't know exactly what it was that kept him out there she was sure he would.know when he found it.

"I suppose so," she agreed, "I think when the time.comes you'll know Chan. Can you do me a favor though?"

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