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i won't even wish for snow — Cedarwood Forest 
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Played by Cade (inactive characters) who has 350 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Nineva Hervok
For @Tomen only.
Backdated for 12/22, the day before Nineva leaves for a visit to SW.


i'm just gonna keep on waiting

There was a lot to keep them busy these days. Winter was in full force now, and it was their turn to care for the pack's offspring. @Felix and @Joan were little information sponges, and @Ophelia's antics kept everyone on their toes, making a pupsitter's job an active one. On top of the responsibilities that fell upon every adult's shoulders, the two yearlings also both had roles to strive for, lessons to undergo, hers most often with Veho and @Deacon. Her visits to the Woodlands had grown more distant in between for these reasons, but still she made them, refusing to allow too much time to pass and miss the sessions of catch up she so adored with her brother @Korrin and Duckweed. With everything else to worry about, the adventures she so loved to take received the least attention.

It didn't much matter that she saw Tomen regularly throughout the day, whether crossing paths on errands or running them together, teaching and playing with the children or just curled up against his side at the end of each night. Ventures outside of the bounds of Grizzly Hollow for simple enjoyment were so rare that she now strove to drag her best friend along with her every time so that they might both take a breather and talk about things that weren't so duty centered.

It was unwise to travel too far through the drifting snow, but the Cedarwoods were plenty big enough, especially when one went East. The mountain loomed ahead, overtaken by its snowcaps and almost indistinguishable from the bleak white sky. Flakes drifted lazily through the air, and Jack frost was nipping at their noses, but there was a serene kind of beauty to it all and Nineva inhaled each frigid breath happily. While others might shudder and glower, wishing for Spring to bring back warmth, the season had done nothing to intimidate the young woman. Despite their steady loss of numbers, she was certain that they would be wassailing over their fortitude by the end of it.

"So anyways, dad eventually found us and pulled us out. Boy was he mad. Poor Korrin, we were always dragging him into trouble like that," she concluded her story with a wistful smile and a shake of her head. While she did not wish for them back, intent on always moving forward, Nineva would always miss those days when her family was still together and where it belonged.

"Well, I guess it was mostly me. Rose was always a--hey!" she stopped dead in her tracks as something caught her eye, muzzle swinging upward to point it out to her friend. A plant clustered amongst the needles of one of the many tall cedar trees was the target of her attention, the sight striking up another memory. Kenelm had taught her about it last winter. Normally her mind was a trap, but it was taking a few seconds for the information to come back to her.

"Oh, geez, what is it called again... ?"

underneath the mistletoe
Played by Siki who has 159 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Tomen Attaya-Lyall
Despite everything, Tomen liked Deacon well enough. They'd formed an unexpected camaraderie, two wolves in very different yet similar places in life, and now that the Archer-Lyall had been in the pack for a little while... Tomen was comfortable that he harboured no untoward intentions for Nineva. Sure they seemed to share many of the same lessons, but nothing major had changed. She was still his best friend, and she still sought his company on the regular, so Tomen let the seeds of jealousy never germinate into anything more.

Everything was good. Oula was back, the kids were growing and healthy, and the pack was doing fine. Nineva was focused and dedicated to her goals as ever, and Tomen knew he'd do anything to help her see them come true. Everything was good.

Unbeknownst to the lad, he was humming a near-silent note of contentment in the back of his throat as he listened to her story, trotting along beside her as the snowflakes fell serenely all around them. During one of the many, many times his eyes slid onto her face to watch her speak because he loved how animated she could get, he happened to witness a particularly large flake land right atop the tip of her ear. The delicate construct barely touched the grey hairs before it caught, and for a moment was suspended, the woman oblivious to it. He opened his mouth to say something but could not bring himself to interrupt, and found the sight curiously adorable, this large, passionate wolf wearing one of the most fragile objects known to wolfkind. It was beautiful, and she was beautiful, and he chose to say nothing. By the time something caught her eye and interrupted her story, the flake was long gone, even the warmth from her ear too much for it to last.

Pulling himself out of his contentedly-listening-to-Nineva trance in order to follow her pointed gaze, his dark muzzle and gaze lifting obligingly. The sprig of soft green nestling its tiny white berries, at first, registered not at all, but a quick check confirmed that they must have been what had distracted her. The name of the plant rose to the front of his mind almost absently, because he'd seen it before from this year and the last, though it was a few moments more before he remembered what he'd been told of its significance, and the thought brought a familiar heat to his face as he heard her try to recall what it was.

"That? It's mistletoe," he offered, with a smile and a shrug, trying not to dwell on anything more meaningful than that. That was dangerous territory which he worked hard almost constantly to avoid, though it was becoming more and more difficult to come up with a good reason why. It was just... it was just how things were. How they had to be. "What were you saying about Rose...?"
[Image: tomen-greypixel01.gif]

[Image: grizzlyhollow_zps8fb35fad.png]
Played by Cade (inactive characters) who has 350 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Nineva Hervok

i'm just gonna keep on waiting

That? he questioned, and her muzzle nodded up and down to silently say yes. That he knew the answer so readily was perfect, because if it had taken her much longer to remember the name it was gonna drive her up that very tree. Her face lit up once more as this little bit of information falling into place completed the memory altogether, tail settling into a slow wave once more. There was more than just its name and toxicity to remember, but...

Tomen wanted her to continue from before, and so she did because--

"Is this Tomen guy like family or is he something more?" Deacon's words, along with that skeptical gaze when she'd given her answer, played through her head.

"A tattle-tale. She was always just... I don't think she ever did really like me much."

Which sucked, in a way, but she was beyond it. Just like she was beyond the other unpleasantries that had afflicted her family, member by member until she was now only left with Korrin. She didn't want to be somber now, so she gave her body a shake to rid it of the snow that settled atop her guard hairs and put on another smile.

"I mean, I am a born troublemaker."

underneath the mistletoe
Played by Siki who has 159 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Tomen Attaya-Lyall
Despite telling himself not to look at it, that little innocent cluster of berries was inexplicably impossible to ignore. His eyes kept wanting to slip up to peek at it, but they'd already stopped talking about it, he just needed to let it go, Rose, she was saying something about Rose...

"Uh huh," he replied in absent agreement, before his eyes clicked back down to her own and he got a weird feeling. What had she just said? "I mean!" he squeaked, but she didn't look like she'd been teasing or testing him, despite that smile. "I mean... no, you're not," he said, finally correcting himself, gently shoving her shoulder with hers as if to reprimand her for talking about herself like that.

"I'm sorry you think... that, about Rose. I don't really know what that's like. Siblings. Uh, age-mate siblings, anyway."
[Image: tomen-greypixel01.gif]

[Image: grizzlyhollow_zps8fb35fad.png]
Played by Cade (inactive characters) who has 350 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Nineva Hervok
He asked, but then he wasnt really paying attention. Considering how Tomen was pretty much always focused on her, something she was so used to that she never really noticed there was something different to the way he looked at her, it was pretty obvious. Her eyes followed his to what had stolen his attention before he came back down to earth and backtracked through what she'd said to correct his initial misresponse. The mistletoe? What was so mesmerizing about it?

... he hadnt heard what she had, had he?

"They're great," she told him, voice taking on a wistful softness. She didnt want to make Tomen feel like he missed out, siblings as they were the trio weren't the same thing, but Nineva felt strongly about her family and couldn't pretend that being an only child sounded like it had any worthwhile advantages at all. "Whatever she thinks of me, I wouldn't trade her for the world."

Ugh, she didnt mean for this to get sappy. This was a day off, for fun. In hopes of lightening the mood, she jumped on that which was pretty prominent in her mind: the mistletoe. It didnt have to be awkward if she made it a joke, right? Why should the subject make her apprehensive anyways?

"Y'know, Kenelm was the one that taught me about mistletoe. It'll make you deathly sick and yet, you're supposed to kiss when you're under it. How is that romantic?"

Not that Nin knew anything about romance. Ugh.
Played by Siki who has 159 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Tomen Attaya-Lyall
The sheepish way he looked at her said that he knew he'd messed up, because he saw her glance back at the mistletoe, the stupid mistletoe, so she knew that he'd been distracted. Fortunately, she wasn't cruel, and carried on with his last topic as though it hadn't been a messy save at all, and for a moment he thought he was safe. For a moment his mind began to slip back to the subject of brothers and sisters and her life in the Caverns, and while he could tell she was not trying to make him feel bad about being an only-child, he couldn't help the twinge of jealousy. Close or not, at least she had blood family she still cared about, who cared about her. The Hervoks sounded like they looked after each other, even though they had been through a lot of hardship, and he envied that.

But just as he was ready to say something back, her expression changed, and for some reason they went back to the white berries.

Mouth falling open a fraction as she explained how she knew about it, ears twisting out to the side as he suddenly felt a little uncomfortable and wasn't sure where she was going with this, he listened as she said how it could make you sick and then -

His gut did a little flip-flop and he took a step away from her without thinking, just a small one, just as though he'd momentarily lost his balance a tad, needed to catch himself. "Rrrom..." he muttered, and then all he could do was stare at the mistletoe because if he looked at her - while she was making that face - so obviously finding the whole notion ridiculous -

"Yeah... it's dumb, huh," he said, and then finally peeled his eyes away from it so that he could smile at her, because if he carried on acting strange she was gonna finally question it and he couldn't cope with that, so he needed to pretend to be okay. So he shrugged and took another step forward, wanting to break the spell of the spring of plant even though he would have loved to fall under it - but without Nineva similarly entranced, what was the point? That was just somewhere he told himself not to go and no bit of foliage could break his resolve. "C'mon, we were gonna get there and back before sundown."
[Image: tomen-greypixel01.gif]

[Image: grizzlyhollow_zps8fb35fad.png]
Played by Cade (inactive characters) who has 350 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Nineva Hervok
His discomfort at the subject was clear, and she couldn't help but make the assumption that the whole kissing thing really was the reason behind him suddenly acting... well, awkward. He'd heard it too, and so he felt... oh geeze. Did he think she'd try it? It couldn't bother him unless there was the possibility of something real, right? She was silent as unfamiliar pressure built in her chest, discovering that she very much cared why.

Get out of my head, Deacon.

Tomen spoke up again, suggesting they keep moving. The day was going fast, and yet... Nineva's brows furrowed as she looked up at the stupid plant that had gotten them here, clearly bothered. She was not satisfied with whatever it was that had just happened between them. She wasn't satisfied avoiding her own thoughts and feeling uncomfortable when it came to her best friend.

"... Tomen..."

Nineva had always been, before anything else, bold. It was perhaps the reason she would say what was teetering on the tip of her tongue now, but she certainly didn't feel brave in this moment. She felt scared, and she didn't even know of what. If anyone could help her figure it out, though, it was him. Right?

Unsure of how to even start, she stared helplessly at him for a moment, until finally she just asked.

"Why is this uncomfortable to talk about?"
Played by Siki who has 159 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Tomen Attaya-Lyall
The attempt to revert her attention back to their previous plans - happier plans, more carefree, innocent plans, painless plans - failed. Not hearing the sound of her paws crunch in the snow as she followed him, Tomen glanced back, and his heart sank as he saw her staring again at the mistletoe. The damn stupid meaningless mistletoe. His jaw clenched and unclenched as he desperately feared what she was going to say, what she could be thinking about, because he couldn't bear to hope, it was too hard, and he knew her, he knew how her brain worked and what she wanted and what she thought of him -

The sound of his name, spoken so uncharacteristically hesitantly, made him hold his breath. No. This was bad.

He had only a few seconds to decide what he was going to do, as he watched her stumble over her own thoughts, unable to spit it out. He knew what she was going to say. Well, not what she was going to say, but the subject she was going to broach, to nudge, to bring out into the open. If she was this reluctant to just say it, his beautiful, confident, decisive Nineva, then she didn't like to think about it either.

And that sealed it; if she didn't want to talk about it, then they shouldn't talk about it. She had so many plans, so much she was trying to learn, and how could he just make himself a roadblock? Make, make this, whatever this was, make it slow her down or doubt herself, because if she didn't look at the mistletoe and knew what it meant and then look at him in the same way that he saw it and then looked at her...

He laughed, turning back to face her with a bemused frown, tail raising to wag gently behind him, as if confused by her hesitation but wanting to comfort her. "What do you mean?" He would have to fake it like he'd never faked it before. She always saw right through him but he'd never tried to hide anything from her before, not like this, because she had the key to the most vulnerable parts of him and she didn't even know it. He couldn't risk that kind of hurt. He looked at the mistletoe again, brows raising as if he was realising something, and then he looked at her face again and suppressed the urge to cry.

"You can tell me," he said, and winked, as though he were trying to pry some secret from her, some secret that didn't at all make him want to vomit. "You thinking about @Deacon?"
(This post was last modified: Jan 05, 2017, 10:20 AM by Tomen.)
[Image: tomen-greypixel01.gif]

[Image: grizzlyhollow_zps8fb35fad.png]
Played by Cade (inactive characters) who has 350 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Nineva Hervok
Nineva wasnt aware that she'd had any expectations for his response until he failed to meet them. The change in him was fluid but sudden, and she would have actively doubted its veracity except that for the first in a long time, in that moment, she doubted herself the most. Her ears tipped back a fraction as confusion passed through her eyes. And then, for a split moment, it was still okay because he was reassuring her, 'you can tell me,' and her lips even parted because she needed to get it out quick if she was going to do it all...

Then he asked about Deacon.

"... what?"

It was the only word she managed before her jaws clenched shut around a now-numb tongue and her ears settled completely against her skull. The emotion in her eyes changed as she regarded him with incredulity. The young girl's stomach was in knots and just like that, she didn't want to talk about it anymore. Her bravery reserve had been expended for the day, and knowing that she could not bring herself to discuss her insecurities settled as heavily as stones within her stomach. She wouldnt have the luxury of ignoring them forever. If everything went according to plan, and damned if it wouldnt, she had little more than a year until she would have to face it all. That she would have to set aside the tangled threads and ignore them to choose someone to trust in the most intimate way possible and pray they did not do to her family what she had watched so many other wolves do to theirs.

How could she know that it would all be worked out by then? If she couldn't talk about this now, here with Tomen, the wolf she was truly closest to, how could she expect that it everything would fall into place just because? Worst yet... she had breached the subject with Deacon already. It confused and upset her that she couldn't come even that far with her best friend.

Resolve lost, she sighed.

"Lets... just go home."
Played by Siki who has 159 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Tomen Attaya-Lyall
my heart hurts.

Under any normal circumstances, he hated seeing her like this. Confusion and doubt and hesitation flashed across her face, every bit as open as his own was tucked away and masked by this hateful, distant demeanour. He would have regretted saying Deacon's name for the effect it had on her, if not for that very effect being all but confirmation of what he hoped; whatever Nineva thought about mistletoe, she didn't associate it with the Archer-Lyall. Good, Tomen thought vindictively... but then she hadn't wanted to associate it with Tomen either, so it was an entirely hollow victory.

But maybe he had gone too far. Rather than dismiss the whole thing, tell him he was being dumb, and then let them both go on their way, she wanted to go back? The mask slipped a little, and he took a step towards her. This wasn't like her at all. "You... sure? I thought you wanted to see Jasper Rocks..." It's all frozen up! he'd laughed. I nearly slipped right on my face - you should see it! But then this had happened on the way. What had been a perfectly good day was ruined by a little plant. Or maybe he'd ruined it by trying to protect himself. Maybe he shouldn't have been so selfish, so afraid of what she might say.

But it was done now. He couldn't take it back without being exposed as a liar, so he had to just carry on playing the part of the platonic best friend, as though he didn't crave her with everything he had, as though he could just pretend it all away.
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[Image: grizzlyhollow_zps8fb35fad.png]