Lavender Ethos Honor Thy Father

@Aleksei Moderate snow 23 ° F, -5 ° C

It was time, she hadn't​ been to her father's grave since he died but he felt with the changes that had occurred in her life as of late that she come. Inna knew that like her mother her father would be just as angry with her among other things if he were still alive. The snow fell around her as she made her way to the meadow full of lavender flowers except there wouldn't be any flowers. Often Inna worried it would still be cold and snowy when she gave birth to the pups. Once she reached the ethos she stopped to look over it her sides heaving with a sigh.

Slowly head and tail down she made her way to the final resting place of her father where she sat back on her haunches. Her swollen belly more obvious, “Hello father,” she started, “I know how disappointed you must be in me, it's going around. Mother, Alek, and even Lachesis though I don't think he would ever admit it, I could tell.” The snow continued to fall around her dusting her ebony pelt in white. The Baranski looked down at her paws, “I know that I deserve their anger and more for what I have done and forgiveness may never come but I am hoping to make it up to them someday.” She would have said more but the sound of crunching snow reached her ears as they flicked toward the sound just before she turned her head to see who or what might be approaching.

(This post was last modified: Apr 20, 2017, 01:35 PM by Inna.)

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Aleksei hadn't been able to rest in the communal den. In fact, he hadn't been able to rest very much at all.

He was unsettled every time he caught Lorcán's scent in the territory. The male was pulling his weight, yes, but the suspicion that he was the father of Inna's children had not subsided, not in the slightest. Instead, it had only solidified, grown stronger by the passing days, but Aleksei found himself lost for a solution. Who the hell did they think they were, parading around and acting like everything was fine? Thought themselves sneaky, did they? He wanted to beat eight bells of shit out of them both for their idiocy, for their cheek.

And that was where the problem lay: he couldn't. Inna was his sister, as childish and stupid as she had been, and he couldn't bring fang upon her flesh, or her children's—they were, after all, Aleksei's own nieces and nephews. And Lorcán? God! It was infurating, but Hearthwood's second couldn't find a flaw to pick out (save for the one he pretended to drop)! It was as if he was rubbing it in all their faces. The man hunted, guarded, picked daisies or whatever—he was doing work, the smarmy arsehole.

He wanted to punish them, wanted to find Askan and Reyes, tell them the news—rally the troops, so to speak—but it wasn't his place to do so, and it wouldn't be right, either. What kind of man would he be if he did so? Perhaps this was Lorcán's way of atoning for the wrong he had done, but still.

Thoroughly irked, Aleksei sought out solice from the one man he had always aspired to be like, always admired; his father. His footsteps were heavy as he approached the clearing in the trees, a lump rising in his throat as he remembered Maksim was buried here. It was still so hard to get his head around. He stepped out from the trees, eyes widening slightly in surprise. Another wolf was here, their head whipping around to face him. First instinct kicked in, and he went to apologise, but his jaws snapped shut and his features hardened. Inna. Of all the places she could have been at this time, it had to be here, didn't it? The one time he wanted to sit back and reflect and find answers, he stumbles across the problem. Or at least half of it.

He scowled and gave a snort, eyes narrowed, as he turned away. “I'll come back later.” His voice was cold and flat, double-edged.

Let the roots & soil drink of me
Whispering leaves & pointing branches will tell them where I'm lying

When she had come to talk to her her father like she used to as a child she didn't know if it would even help. Things seemed to be going wrong for her left and right, she couldn't take it any longer. She needed to find a way to turn it around and make it better at least for herself and her pups. She couldn't continue to feel the way she did all of the time. Lorcan walking away from her the way he had and the fact that he hadn't come to talk to her. It felt that he had made a decision and though it hurt that he chose to stay away she understood and she would let him be. All she had wanted to accomplish the day that she had gone to him was to tell him he was going to be a father.

Since she had found out and traveling across the tundra on her way to tell him she had prepared herself for raising her children on her own. Her gaze had gone to her swollen belly for a moment, they were her children now it seemed. She was okay with that and maybe it was better this way. If she and Lorcan didn't speak at all there wouldn't be any question that he wasn't the father and then the tawny man could live in peace. He could make his way in Hearthwood like he had his last pack. Have the life he wanted without worry of being found out. Inna nodded, it had to be better that way.

Still she had a lot to figure out and she was just about to continue speaking with her father when the sound of heavy footfalls reached her dark auds. Only a second passed before she turned her head to see who had arrived and found that it was her brother. He had been the one to send her on this downward spiral in the first place and now she feared what he would do if he ever found out the truth about Lorcan. She'd barely been able to pick up the pieces of their last encounter when Lorcan had done what he had. The downward spiral had only continued and now she was the one that had to get it to stop, she didn't know if she could.

Inna didn't know what he was doing there but in her mind there had to be only one reason. She was going to finish speaking with Maksim but thought it best to just move on and figure it out. As she studied him she could see not much had changed in the way he felt about her, she supposed he would wear that look in regards to her for a long time to come.

She knew as soon as the words were out of her mouth that she was going to regret it but she opened her inky maw anyway. “Wait, you don't have to go. He's both of our father why can’t we share some time with him?” It was a question that had many outcomes but she hoped for a good one. Again her mouth was going to get her in trouble because she was tired of seeing her brother as the enemy. “Please Alek?” She pleaded with him to not go, maybe they could sort something out.

(This post was last modified: Apr 20, 2017, 04:04 PM by Inna.)

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Wait. Aleksei stopped in his tracks, eyes fluttering shut as he sucked in a lungful of air, refused to let it go. She wanted the two of them to sit around their father's grave and let an awkward silence hang in the air? Really? Because he'd rather do anything else to escape that sort of torture. But she pleaded, and he let out the breath he was holding onto in the form of a sigh, shaking his head.

He was going to regret turning around, wasn't he? But he did turn, and he walked over to his sister. He wasn't going to be cosying up to her any time soon though, oh no. She could swallow her dreams if she was hoping for that. Instead, Aleksei decided to settle down away from her. Far away enough that a bison might be able to comfortably lounge in the space between them. Perhaps even roll over a few times.

Despite the slight distance he had ensured existed, Aleksei could not stop from scowling at her rounded sides, his narrowed eyes dancing between her and the canopy above. “So,” came his mutter. “You've come looking for advice from ghosts, have you?” Internally, a part of him winced at the harshness of his words. Had he not come here to do the same thing? No, his stubborn streak argued. I've come here for quiet reflection, not to talk to a corpse. Again, the kindness in his heart recoiled. Where it would have been self loathing, a month or so ago, it was now an aggressive streak aimed at his sister and her lover boy.

He felt like a pup again, and that only worked to further encourage that anger in his belly. Good god, he was having the strop of a life time.

Let the roots & soil drink of me
Whispering leaves & pointing branches will tell them where I'm lying

When she had first heard the footfalls part of her had hoped it was Lorcan come to talk things out but she realized how ridiculous that notion was. The last wolf she expected to see was Aleksei as it seemed he had been avoiding her, she couldn't really be surprised by this. She too had been avoiding him, after what he'd done to her. Tearing her down even though she was his sister and she felt that as her brother he should be there for her. Still she also knew it was ridiculous to expect that as well, she'd broken pack law she could expect that from anyone.

Against her better judgement and with some hope of mending things between them she had asked him, pleaded with him to stay. She didn't like the fact they were at odds with each other, that she felt he hated her. Inna waited to see if he would stay there with her or go and leave her there with their father. He did turn though and he came towards her but he still kept his distance like she was something to be weary of. She would take it even if the overwhelming feeling that she was going to regret asking him to stay lay just below the surface.

He didn't have to be happy with her, he didn't even have to really like her she just didn't like feeling as though he were her enemy. Her ears perked at his words and shook her head, “I don't really think there is any advice to be had in my situation. Besides don't you think he's just as mad at me as you are?” She knew her father wouldn’t be happy about the choice she'd made. She also figured he would be ashamed and disappointed in her as well. Talking to him had made her feel a little better but it wasn't the same as talking to a living wolf. Inna just didn't know who else to talk to besides the grave of her dead father.

She looked at her brother across the space that separated them not really knowing what to say to him. She had messed up but hadn't he messed up in his life as well, she knew they weren't the same. Far from it in fact but how could he judge her for her mistakes when he had made his own, he had hurt their mother too. For a long moment her gaze rested on her paws after she'd spoken but she raised it to meet his, “Is this how it's going to be between us forever?” Was he always going to be angry with her and she afraid of the next time he would tear her down? She didn't want them to live their lives like that, they were family.

“Can we not work this out? Don't you think he would want That?” She let her gaze fall on her father's grave, “As mad as he might be I don't think he would want our family torn apart because I made a bad decision.”

(This post was last modified: Apr 20, 2017, 08:56 PM by Inna.)

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There are several fresh rabbit tracks in the mud. Hunt Opportunity

Silently, Aleksei studied Inna. Even though she spoke, he barely registered her words. Something about their father being disappointed too. He simply snorted, agreeing with but also dismissing her at the same time. He didn’t particularly want to talk to his younger sibling—too angry, too hurt—but there was clearly no avoiding it now. She questioned him, once again, and he could only settle his chartreuse gaze harshly on her face. Work it out? She wanted to work it out? He scoffed. “You should’ve thought about that before you did what you did.”

He continued, far from done with voicing his frustrations. He wanted to vent to someone, anyone but Inna. It was impossible to stop though, especially knowing that it could be used to drive the point home that she’d done something stupid. “Dad would be mortified with you, yes. But you know what? I think he’d be just like mum—too in love with his ancestry to punish family for doing wrong.” He scowled. Bitterness bubbled in his veins. “That Baranski name that puts us above every other wolf. A succession of great leaders, right? Bullshit.” He met her eyes with a steely glare and practically sneered. “Maybe Baranski wolves have always been leaders because they think they’re great and love throwing laws out that don’t apply to them.”

He didn’t move. He was a statue, smeared with poison, spewing toxic words from his dark lips like bile. “Because you sure as hell don’t think you are required to follow laws. Despite whatever she might have said about next time, Mum doesn’t think so either, huh? Or Karina.”

Oh, Karina.

“You shouldn’t be here, Inna. You should've been chased away for what you did. You and your accidental child.” Aleksei shot a look at her rounded sides once more. “But, again; what Baranski needs to fear the law, huh? They only apply to wolves without our blood.”

Let the roots & soil drink of me
Whispering leaves & pointing branches will tell them where I'm lying

Frankly Inna had grown tired of her brother's behavior from the way he treated her to the way he was with Lorcan. What gave him the right to judge anyone when he couldn't even be there when she was a pup. Maybe if he'd been around and been the brother he should have been she wouldn't be in the mess she was in. “Well I think we have clearly established that I wasn't thinking when I did what I did.” She didn't see why he couldn't just get past it, accept that she'd made a mistake a very bad one and move on.

He went on of course as he did but the words that he spoke didn't bother her as the ones he had to her that day he'd tore her down. She had grown a little stronger and put some of the pieces back together. Inna believed what he said about their father was only meant to hurt her. “I think he would have accepted it because he loved his daughter and would love his grandchildren.” Their father was a great man who loved his family just like Kisla which was why she was sureThat was the reason she was still in Hearthwood.

Then he had to go and break the last straw as he spoke of the entitlement that the Baranski family thought they had. The more he went on the more irritated the expectant mother became, her tail lashing behind her. How could he speak of their parents and family in such a way? Dishonoring the name of Baranski tight over their father's grave? Inna was appalled at this new out lashing towards his family. “If you think that about your family and the Baranski name then maybe you shouldn't be one of us any more. Someone who spits on the name of their family over their own father's grave is someone who doesn't deserve to carry the name. Besides you haven't wanted to be a part of this family since the day you left the first time. You certainly didn't want to make that promise to me and now it's become clear that it was all a game to you. You have never given a damn about me or this family and you preach to me about how much I care about them and how I have dishonored them. It's all true Aleksei, I know exactly what I did but at least I was here to take care of them. I was here to help keep what our father created alive. And where were you? Off doing what you pleased and how do we know you haven't broken pack law?” He couldn't tell her that he was above it as far as she was concerned he had dug his grave and now he could lay in it. She huffed her ears flat against her head, “Is it a guilty conscience that has you so angry? Or wait does my mistake remind you too much of Karina and what happened to her what you could not do for her and you failed again with me. Why should you care anyway? You never meant to be a good brother to me it was all just some lie to make you feel better. I will tell you this Orren was a better brother then you could ever be to me.”

He then told her that she and her children shouldn't be in Hearthwood which didn't surprise her, he'd wanted her chased out a long time ago. “That may be true but the choice isn't up to you. This isn't your pack it belongs to mother and Lachesis now. They made the choice to let me stay and as their subordinate you should respect that choice.” Their mother had made the decision to let her stay and if he cared so much about being loyal he should accept her word without question. Yet there he stood questioning it every single day. “Guess you aren't as loyal to our mother as you originally claimed to be. Seems you're​ just as much of a liar as I am.”

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: May 30, 2017, 02:50 PM by Inna.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you.

 

He let her have her say, tuning her words out with a scoff. Yeah, sure—little miss perfect over here really had a right to talk about spitting on the family grave when she’d done the one thing that would have broken their father’s heart. It was almost pathetic how desperate Inna was to make a jab at Aleksei, and he laughed sourly. “You really love the sound of your voice, don’t you?” On and on she went. It felt as though a hole was being bored into his ear.

And then she said Karina’s name, and his hackles bristled. His lip peeled back as he rose up, snarling loud and threatening. “You don’t get to speak her name!” He closed the distance between them in an instant, pushing his chest forward and lifting his tail high. “You, the hypocrite who denounces her and speaks ill of her when your crime is worse by far! See, you let her be snatched up by Kjors! I bet you never even tried to help her! You were content to just ignore it because it didn’t bother you! You, mother and father. Orren and Lekalta—none of you gave a fucking shit about her!” His chest heaved, anger wild in his eyes. “Weak little Karina, precious fawn of the family. When coddling didn’t work, you abandoned her to her fate, just gave up. Was it too much effort? Did you have nothing to gain from it?”

Thunder rumbled inside him, lightning in his veins, bringing his hairs to stand on end and burning his skin. “You never cared about anyone but yourselves.” It was Aleksei who had spent his time with Karina, tried to protect her, tried to reclaim their true home for them all. “Everyone was so disappointed with Karina, they gave you half her identity. Karina, Inna—she was their failed daughter, and you were just a second chance to do our grandmother "proud".”

Let the roots & soil drink of me
Whispering leaves & pointing branches will tell them where I'm lying

The more he spoke the more Inna realized just how self-righteous he really was and she couldn’t believe that she had ever been worried about what he thought of her.  Shem was beginning to see that their relationship would never get better at the very least for their mother's sake.  It was all because of him because he was so full of himself he couldn’t get past what she’d done, Inna felt it went deeper than that though.  It was when he spoke ill of the Baranski name and their parent’s that she’d had it with him.  To her he’d lost his place in their family and if she had the authority she would chase him off herself.  No longer would she bow down to a wolf who was such a coward he couldn’t even face his own problems.  The ebony Baranski’s eyes rolled at his words and she didn’t even give him the satisfaction of hearing her reaction to his words, she was not surprised he was throwing yet another insult in her direction that was what he was good at after all.

Inna rose a brow as he told her she wasn’t allowed to speak Karina’s name, his curling lip and aggressive stance didn’t scare her, he was quickly becoming a wolf that didn’t deserve a place in their pack let alone their family.  “You don’t have the right to tell me to do anything,” she stated calmly standing her ground with her tail raised high over her back and her chest puffed out in a dominant stance. He wasn’t worth getting any more upset and endangering her children.  Then he spoke of her not caring about Karina or helping her sister.  “That’s rich, expecting a child to understand what was happening.  Put the blame on me and Lekalta because you don’t want to blame yourself.  If you really cared about Karina you would have been there to stop it.  You call yourself a real man you can’t even admit you failed her too.”

The Raven scoffed as he spoke about her not caring about anyone but herself.  “Believe what you will about me Aleksei I don’t care anymore but maybe you should look at your own reflection.”  Had he cared about someone other than himself maybe he could have stopped so many things that had happened. Inna was done caring what the wolf in front of her thought. “I know where I stand Alek, you can’t make me feel guilty for anything anymore.  At least I have been here where you have not but please go on about things you know nothing about.  I would love to hear more of your delusions you’re too much of a coward to admit the truth.”

~Table by Jacqueline

(This post was last modified: Jun 28, 2017, 04:03 AM by Inna.)

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