Wild Rye Fields It's not that easy

This is an edited version of a post from the pack thread. Is a direct continuation. For @Reyes obviously  

With time passing slowly as it was you'd think Askan would have been able to put the pieces together in no time at all. But try as he might he just couldn't. It was as though he had them in his grasp and yet they just wouldn't slot together, and if by some off chance that they did he couldn't make sense of the picture they formed. It just didn't make sense. All he could think about was how angry he was, how betrayed he felt. There was little room for much else. Her words didn't soothe him, if anything they were background noise, the staticky sound he heard when he'd hit his head a little too hard.

So why then was Adelayde grumbling? And more pressingly why was she speaking in Reyes' language, in a tone that was remarkably similar to how- Askan blinked and then turned his neck a little. Ah, that made sense. They weren't alone any longer. Reyes had joined them in the clearly and he looked...Remarkably pissed. It was impressive actually how he managed to compile so many feelings into one long stare, but really that was aside the point for as quickly as he had arrived he turned to leave. Though not before Askan spotted a-devastating- look in his eyes. The sort that made his feet move without him telling them to.

Without even paying her any mind, Askan left Adelayde standing alone in the clearing and followed after his mate with haste in his step. He wasn't exactly sure what was running through the Southerner's mind, but he knew he didn't like to see that look and he wanted to do whatever he could do to make it go away, to make it better. Even if he had no idea how he was going to go about it. The very least he could do was try and show that he cared. Because even he knew that if he just let him go it wouldn't look good. That it might seem as though that he didn't think it was worth his time to follow, to see if he could mend whatever had been broken.

Because even though he was a little lost, he could see that plain and clear as day."Reyes, wait up."Askan called as he trotted alongside him and planted himself in his path so he had to come to a stop. He almost regretted it immediately as the the look he saw was not...Good."...You're mad at me?" 

Sometimes, Reyes had to wonder what was wrong with him.

Like maybe that was a normal wolf thing. Like maybe he shouldn’t have freaked the fuck out. Given Adelayde’s reaction, and that Askan was now hot on his heels like he was a bitch in heat, the swarthy male had to wonder if maybe that wasn’t exactly appropriate. Like maybe he should have done something else. What that something else was, the wolf had no idea, but his feet tell him to keep running, so he listened.

To his feet, that was.

At least until Askan started yelling.

Reyes’ ears rolled further back against his skull, straining with the effort as he continued several more strides before slowing. Even as he did, the beginning of the grassy rye fields crunching under his paw pads, it took him several more lengths before he drew to a halt. All his fur felt like it was standing up on edge; he might not have the full thickness of his winter coat any longer, but the swarthy male still cut an intimidating figure. The sides of his head hurt. His tail stood out straight, bristling with anticipation. Whatever Askan was going to say, better he just do it and get it all over with.

“What?”

Why didn't he say no? He was supposed to say no, to put an end to Askan's worries, but he didn't. For the life of him, Askan couldn't make sense of it, no matter how hard he tried to. What was it that he had supposedly done wrong? And why wasn't Reyes being honest with him? It was so out of character that the Guardian gave him a once over to make sure that it was really his mate that he was talking to, not some doppelganger that had managed to sneak into their ranks.

But oh yes, it was him. He would have recognised those eyes anywhere.  For they were as pale and as bright as the full moon. They were a relief to see, so much so that Askan let out a slow exhale, but when he looked, when he really took in the sight of him the Selwyn froze up, as solid as ice. Now it made sense, combined with his curt response, tense posture and fierce glower there was no denying it, Reyes was mad at him. But if that was the case then why didn't he just say so? Why was he skirting around the question? Glaring at him as though Askan was the foulest thing he'd ever laid his eyes upon?

Askan would have been a liar if he said it didn't hurt. And as hard as he tried to hide it, he'd always been the sort who wore his heart on his sleeve for all the world to see. His pain was clear in his eyes and he took a tentative step back, as his tail curled between his legs. Still, he didn't know what he'd done to deserve such resentment but he was sorry nonetheless. He just couldn't stand Reyes hating him like this.

He and Reyes hadn't always gotten along. To begin with their relationship was more antagonistic than anything else and their second encounter at Pasos al Cielo was anything but friendly-to begin with anyway- but at least back then Askan knew what was what. Right then he felt stranded, left adrift on open water and slowly but surely he was sinking, falling into the inky depths.

"Um...." He swallowed and blinked in rapid succession. Desperate to grasp onto a thread of self control.

Never had Askan thought that Reyes would ever hurt him, but right in that moment he couldn't say that he still felt that way. The wolf, the man in front of him was intimidating by every meaning of the word. Strange how that had escaped his notice, how just because Reyes could be tender towards him didn't necessarily mean that he always would be.

Without him meaning to, a whine passed from his lips, low and mournful, like a kicked dog.

"Did I do something wrong?Because if I did...I'm sorry."

The whine might as well have been a knife. Piercing through layers of scaly armor, the sharp tip of emotion left him momentarily stunned. Though his ears did not come forward, they did lift. His tail fell, no longer a bottle brush, but limp and uneasy. Finally, he turned. Padding through the newly sprouted grass in silence, he closed the gap between them. Reyes paused only long enough to study his partner’s face before he moved, pink tongue flashing out to kiss his muzzle, his cheeks. If he could will the worries away, he would.

Instead, he would be forced to talk. If anything, it was the more difficult task. The gamma swallowed hard. “No,” he answered, his voice thick and raspy. “You didn’ do anything wrong. At all.”

No, when he’d barreled in, he’d been mad at Adelayde, all over the beta like she was. But in retrospect, was there anything actually wrong with that? Maybe it was a normal pack thing. Given the woman’s reaction, and Askan’s general surprise, the silver-eyed brute was inclined to believe that maybe he was the one in the wrong. His ears drooped further to the side, his shoulders sinking as his fur slowly laid flat. “It wasn’t you, Kana.”

Askan had no idea what Reyes was looking for in his expression, but apparently he found it. As one moment he'd been standing there, his expression blank and unreadable, and the next he was right up close kissing him with such tenderness that Askan had to bite his tongue to stop himself from whimpering again. But it was not out of pain or misery, he was relieved beyond belief. Barely able to contain himself. Surely this had to be a good sign, after all Reyes couldn't hate him if he was willing to touch him like this.

The Selwyn didn't expect his lover to speak, for his actions spoke much louder than words ever could, but he did so anyway and it was apparent that Askan wasn't the only one who wasn't feeling so good. How could Askan have been so selfish, so self absorbed not to notice? To forget? He was an awful mate, surely, but from here on out he would try to do better! Not because he felt like he should, but because Reyes deserved it. Gods above, he was in deep wasn't he? It was too late to back out now, he was smitten with a capital S.

By no means did Askan believe Reyes was a liar, but he couldn't help but worry that maybe it was partly his fault. He'd been so angry, so furious, emotions like that didn't just come out of nowhere. Somewhere along the road something had gone wrong, he just had to figure out what. So with all of that in mind, it was Askan's turn to do his part, to smother Reyes' fears and cast them aside.

"Kana?"He asked, his voice alight with amusement as he rested his chin on his shoulder."If I didn't know better I'd think you'd been talking to my Mother." Which was actually quite a scary thought. There was no end to all the embarrassing things she could tell him. Ugh. But anyway...He pulled back from his embrace and gave his partner a quick kiss on his nose before he continued. "So if it wasn't me, than what was it?"

“Ain’t that many ways to shorten Askan. Kanny sounds dumb. Asi ain’t much better.”

Which was not to say he wouldn’t mind meeting the Selwyn matriarch. Of course he was curious to know the woman that raised him into the wolf he was now, if she was anything like his own Mama. It was unlikely, and even more implausible that he’d ever run into the wolf. But he was allowing himself to wander off on a train of thought, and that was not something he quite deserved.

Not when he was a shitty pack mate, evidently.

Ugh.

Reyes pulled back, twin moons settling anywhere but on his partner’s face as he racked his mind of a way to answer that question. Find an answer that wasn’t so incriminating. That didn’t make him sound as out of place as a milliner in a room full of butchers. (Well, he was probably the butcher, in all reality, but to make milliner plural wouldn’t work now, would it?) His ears folded back as his gaze finally settled on his feet, and he studied the short green strands poking up against his toes. “What was she doing? I don’t-- I don’t understand.”

And that was the root of it, wasn’t it? For all the many moons he’s spent on his own, for that short summer season he’d spent in Blackwatch Canyon, it seemed he didn’t have all the answers. That there were yet things that didn’t fit into his world view, that he couldn’t explain, that he was still more than capable of making an ass out of himself. He didn’t understand.

I hate it.

There is a deer that was killed by a lynx nearby. +10 Health

Askan supposed that Reyes had a point, but honestly he was sort of relieved. He'd never been the sort for nicknames and for the most part he found them condescending, but if his mate wanted to call him that then he supposed he could make an exception. Only because Askan liked him so damn much. More than he could ever say, really.

It became apparent that Reyes needed time to think through his question, to try and put his feelings into words and that was okay. Askan would have waited forever if that was what he needed. He wasn't there to pressure him into speaking his mind, but if that's what he wanted to do then Askan would listen and they could try and fix it together. Because that what this was, right? They were two halves of a whole, so if there was something wrong then they'd work on it till everything was right again. But of course nothing was as simple as it seemed, feelings were complicated and as nice as it would be they couldn't make things better by wishing it were so.

The fact that Reyes wouldn't look at him wasn't a good sign, but rather than allow his worries to get the best of him Askan simply waited. And soon enough his patience was rewarded.The Selwyn wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but he didn't think that... He frowned and cut off that line of thought before it could escape him.

"I don't know. Probably thought she was helping? I mean...I was pissed and frustrated and everything was going by so fast and.." Askan huffed and leaned forward to mimic the embrace Adelayde had given him earlier."Feels nicer when it's you. Should've said so."

His mind had been so foggy at the time, it didn't even occur to him that he should have told her to shove off. He wished he had, because surely then things wouldn't have gone this far.

Helping?

Reyes’ mouth twisted into a knot as his mate confirmed what he’d started to suspect – that the female beta was doing some normal pack wolf thing, and he had barged in with no idea that any rational animal wouldn’t have such a visceral reaction. Clearly, even Askan (and while he loved the man, he could not call his partner the pinnacle of Normal Social Interactions) had not found his female counterpart’s embrace to be anything out of the ordinary. Though he hadn’t sought it, he hadn’t felt the need to fight it off, either.

A heavy sigh escaped without his permission.

“That’s not…what I meant,” Reyes groused. “That’s a thing, then. That wolves do for each other, in packs. Even if they ain’t mates.” He paused long enough for a breath. “She was lookin’ at me like I grew a second head, Kana.”

Adelayde didn’t seem to like him, anyways. He didn’t need to encourage the animosity. What had Drestig told him? Give them a reason to trust you, or some sappy bullshit like that. Feel good sentimentality that was more likely to get you killed as a rogue – Reyes had a hard time believing it would be different, even in a pack. Joining other wolves didn’t make you all lovely and happy all the sudden. “Think maybe I’m not good at this whole…pack bullshit. Like ‘m broken.”

Honestly Askan wasn't sure whether it was a park norm or not, but he knew that it seemed a pretty regular thing for Rye wolves. They were close knit, a family, so really it made sense that they supported each other. That said, it was only natural to have preferences. Say if Icicle-if his lazy arse was still about- tried to do that the Guardian would have no doubt snapped at him. It wasn't Reyes' fault that he still hadn't gotten used to the system yet. He'd been on his own for years, it was only natural that he was taking longer than usual. And sure, the Selwyn would have groused about it if he'd been anyone else, but his mate was lucky enough to have a free pass.

That said, it didn't magically make everything better. This clearly bothered Reyes, even if the Yukon wolf wasn't entirely sure why.

His next set of words were more than enough to bring a glower to his face. No. He stepped forward once again and gave his lover an admonishing nip to the muzzle. That was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever had the displeasure of hearing. Such utter and complete bullshit.

"No Reyes, that's crap.You're not broken."He insisted with such vehemency he even startled himself."You're anything but. You're strong and just because you falter doesn't mean you are any less so."

Perhaps the nip had been too aggressive, he certainly hadn't broken the skin but he wasn't trying to bully him into agreement here. He really did care about Reyes, he wanted him to feel good, both physically and mentally. And clearly right now he wasn't doing so good in the latter category. Leaning forward, he kissed his nip better and with a soothing rumble he rested his chin on top of Reyes' head.

"Remember what you once said to me? That I'm not perfect but I was perfect for you? Well it works both ways, I don't care that you're never gonna get along with anyone. I'm not asking for you to. Just as long as you're doing your best, I'm happy."