Wild Rye Fields Trading air

for @Cottongrass forward dated to the 30th. Inspired by this pretty picture. @Reyes may pop in if he feels like it XD 

The nights were warmer and the sun set later, proving that spring had finally arrived in Relic Lore. And about time too, Askan wasn't allergic to the cold like Reyes, but even he had been looking forward to seeing the rye field in its golden glory. And what a sight it was. In the space of only a few weeks the little shoots had sprouted and grown into tall branches of rye that danced and swayed in the cool evening breeze. In the distance the sun was beginning to set, casting the sky aflame with various shades of oranges and pinks.

It was pretty, even Askan had to admit that. But better yet, it was safe here. It was home.

In this part of the field the grass just about reached his elbows, making it feel as though he was wading through a golden sea and best of all he wasn't getting wet. He imagined that when the pups were old enough they would have a grand time playing in the grass, sneaking about like they were invisible before pouncing on one another. It was a nice image, but as much as he loved Percy, Askan hoped that Drestig didn't plan on dropping these pups at his paws as well. Befriending her had been one thing, but raising his litter was another. He wasn't a damn pup sitter, he'd have to make that plain and clear. But knowing the Old Man, he wouldn't care too much. Drestig could get away with anything. All he needed to do was smile and have that look

Huffing at the thought, Askan came to a stop and looked up at the sky once more, his expression wistful, pensive. It was odd knowing that this sky was the very same one he used to look up at when he lived back home, when he was a pup all those years ago. Back then he'd stared up with such wonder and awe, but what about now? How did he feel about the unknown?

Perhaps this walk wasn't such a good idea. He knew how his mind tended to wander when he was alone, how the dark thoughts crept in with malicious grins on their faces. And yet, what good would come from hiding from them? He'd been like this for almost a whole month now, he'd changed, that was for certain but he couldn't help but wonder if it was for the better. Whether that was even a possibility.

(This post was last modified: May 27, 2017, 09:52 PM by Askan.)

Somewhere along the way his day off had turned into a mini-vacation. And at the time it seemed like a good idea. That he would run away for just a few days and when he came back everything would magically be better because that's what his wordly knowledge told him. Except as he approached the border he was quickly realizing that he thought wrong. That he didn't feel too good when he thought about it.

And maybe—maybe—nobody noticed. Because he never did anything important except loiter on the edge of pack territory and awkwardly flail when approached by someone. He was the odd wolf out. The one that more or less chose to isolate himself out of a weird sense of self-defense because he could do no wrong if he did nothing. And really, disappearing for seven days wasn't that long when you thought about it. He had even came back! Which, if someone told Cottongrass that he was part of a pack and he willingly chose to return several months ago, he would have laughed because that's a weird thing to lie about.

Except it was true. He had gathered the nerve to disappear and he had gathered the nerve to return even if he didn't understand why. And the scent of the borders grew stronger with his every hurried step, flooding his senses with something that he tentatively called familiar. It was... Okay when he thought of Wild Rye Fields as home. Because he slept there all the time and that was probably enough to make it home. It even had his friends who he thought of abandoning once or twice but it was okay since he didn't actually do it.

With a careful breath he finally crossed the borders and his shoulders sagged with relief. Because yep. This was it, Wild Rye Fields where he had been staying for the past month. He glanced at the sky and saw that it was washed in hues of blue, purple, and pink. The colours of a setting sun. He hoped that meant everyone was snuggled up in their dens or something.

But the moment that thought formed inside of his head the world just had to prove him wrong. As he heard the rustling of grass, smelled one scent that stood out from among the rest, and saw the wolf that was the root of it all. His head snapped to the disturbance and his yellow eyes widened in shock. Because it was—

"Askan!" He blurted out, mouth moving faster than his brain could in registering the presence of his friend. And it was then something awkward and guilty formed somewhere inside of him. It was a sensation he couldn't shake even when he stepped forward, bushy while tail wagging away in the air behind him. And there were a thousand possible sentences and questions he could have said fluttering in the back of his throat. Yet he could only remain silent, rooted in place in that moment.

Askan didn't expect company, but it wasn't unwelcome. Nor did he have any intentions of scolding Cottongrass for being out at such an hour. Before he might have being a nosy sod and inquired as to where he had been, why he'd been so absent over the past few days. But as he was then, he didn't have the energy or mind to. The lucky fluff ball had escaped scot free, this time. If things went well, it wouldn't always be so. He hoped, he wanted to work towards being more like himself .He knew the road of recovery, or whatever it was called, wasn't going to be easy and at time he'd just want to quit but...He'd play it by ear and see. Askan wasn't making any promises.

"Oh...Hey."

His voice wasn't the same as it had been before, it was slightly raspier than usual, but with each passing day it got a little better. Talking hurt a little less and the bruises along his sides and down the line of his neck had started to transition from a dark purple, to a blue with yellow edges. He was healing well physically, but the same couldn't be said for his mental wounds. They-whether he liked it or not- were going to take longer.

"You okay? I...haven't seen you in a while." That was probably his fault but, he didn't want to admit that. His gazed roamed over his form and..good, he looked well. A lot better than Askan probably did. He was doing better, but...Askan cleared his throat and squinted at the tight feeling of discomfort that it caused.

"Told you the field looks good when the grass is all grown." He said eventually, as he wanted to say something that counted, that meant something in relation to who he used to be.

Askan's voice melted over him like a gently lapping wave. There were no questions and there was no suspicion, only easy-going acceptance that had him relaxing. He released a breath he didn't notice he was holding, leaning back against his paws as he swayed on the spot. Because he could do this. He could talk to his friend under the stars and it was sort of like everything was okay. Like Askan's voice didn't rasp or he didn't look like he had been run ragged.

And a part of him couldn't help but wonder what happened. Why his friend had returned home smelling of blood that one day forever ago, disappearing for weeks on end after. Cottongrass had never visited. Didn't dare approach Askan or Reyes for reasons he didn't understand. It seemed easier to stay away. To keep on hiding on the fringes of pack territory rather than actually doing stuff that was important or useful. And when Askan's voice pulled him to the present, mentioning how they hadn't seen each other in a while, his gaze flitted away somewhere to the side.

He gave a weak smile, one that was forced and awkward around the edges but a smile nonetheless. Because he never checked in on his friend. Never bothered to but it was good to see Askan was still alive. That whatever happened was over and he was moving out and about, whether Cottongrass stuck around or not. He licked his lips and swallowed, ears twitching when the older wolf continued to talk.

"Yeah, yeah." He finally said, unsure of what he was agreeing to but he felt like he needed to say something. And the fields were nice when he thought about it. Made the pack territory look like a flowing lake of gold when the sun hit it just right during the day. And it wasn't the endless fields that he had grown up with, the ones that came to life each summer with cotton grass plants. But that was okay.

His gaze moved back to the form of Askan, eyes nervously hovering over the appearance of his friend. Because Askan looked different. Seemed different and it made Cottongrass nervous as all hell. Made his paws itch and had him feeling fidgety and flighty around the edges. Something was wrong. Something was off. He wanted to fix it but that was sort of hard when he was left in the dark. And unable to take it he finally blurted out—

"Does it hurt?" The moment the words left his mouth he was already back-pedaling, pink tongue flapping uselessly in his mouth as he struggled to make sense of his own mind. "When you, uh, when you uh, talk? I mean. Yeah."

There are several fresh rabbit tracks in the mud. Hunt Opportunity

"A little." Askan told him with a shrug. It wasn't the end of the world and more often than not he didn't even notice it. Until someone pointed it out, that was."It's not the end of the world though, I'm fine."

As to whether that was an outright lie was debatable. He just didn't want Cotton to worry. He'd been a Rye wolf for about a month now but even so it was clear he was still getting into the swing of things. He was taking his time and if he'd been anyone else Askan would no doubt started bitching about it right about now, but...Maybe with Cotton he was willing to make an exception. He was getting a free pass, temporarily until Askan felt like kicking arse once again.

And he would one day, or at least that was what he hoped. He was alive, sure, but was this really living? Or at least to his full potential, when he got spooked by shadows and deep, snarly noises? As though he expected that fucker to just reappear and- Askan shook his head. See that was the part of the problem, his thoughts were just so loud and try as he might he couldn't block them out. Not forever. But it was all about the trying, over and over till he didn't even notice it anymore. And it was working, to a degree. Sometimes he felt okay, maybe even good. It was simply a matter of having more good than a bad, he supposed.

"Why, do I sound that bad?" He frowned, a little offended.

"Oh." He said, lungs deflating with a harsh rattle just as something guilty slithered across the back of his mind. Because it hurt Askan to talk. Probably felt like hell on his throat or something yet here he was, wasting his precious breath on Cottongrass of all the wolves. His yellow eyes flashed with a mixture of guilt and worry. And he wondered if his friend was lying. If the older wolf was just saying words so he wouldn't pester him about getting rest or something. But even as he stared at the angular features of Askan, he realized that he couldn't tell. That he was gullible as they came and he wouldn't dare think of his friends in that negative sort of way.

"That's good." He finally said, head bobbing along to the sound of his own voice. It only hurt a little and he claimed that he was fine. That it wasn't the end of the world. Cottongrass tried to be content with that even as the gears of his mind started to whir away. Because he knew things, believe it or not. He could remember Emrys and Lorcan as they both talked about plants. About how mistletoe wasn't good for anything and the bark of certain trees could help with stuff like pain. But he didn't trust himself enough to not accidentally poison Askan with his not even fledgling knowledge of healing.

Maybe he would go on another journey outside of pack territory. He could hunt down Lorcan and demand the male teach him everything he knew about getting rid of sore throats that made it hurt to talk and then some. Anything to make him feel less useless and hopeless when he moped around Wild Rye Fields. And his thoughts on the matter were cut short when Askan spoke, his friend's voice filling his ears and demanding his attention with its notes.

Because did he sound that bad? Immediately Cottongrass balked, ears splaying back against his head and he took a quick step back.

"No!" He blurted out, seeing the frown on Askan's features and hearing all the wrong notes in the male's voice. Except he could feel his face scrunching up like he just ate something sour or rotten. Lying wasn't his strong suit. Made him feel all kinds of bad and this time was no different. "Er, well—" He stuttered, trying to form some kind of sentence that wasn't a lie but not the whole truth either. "A little! Only a little and only when I think about how you used to sound!" Behind him his tail started wagging as fast as he could possibly manage without the darn thing flying off.

Today wasn't his day, it seemed.

(This post was last modified: May 28, 2017, 06:47 PM by Cottongrass.)

Askan couldn't help but snort as he watched Cotton try-and fail- to back peddle. For a moment it felt as though he was being smothered, as insecurity bared upon him. Was it really that bad? Did he sound awful? The last thing he wanted was to sound like Craw, all deep, raspy and hideous. Of all of the things he disliked about himself, his voice had never been one of them. It had been serviceable, he didn't sound like an arse and honestly he had to admit puberty had served him well. But what about now? He couldn't help but worry that the damage was permanent, that he'd always sound a little croaky, with a voice strung out like he had a serious cold.

It was a mortifying thought. Compared to Reyes he sounded like a right twat, how was he even supposed to compare?Askan sighed and shook his head. Whatever. Did it really matter? Not really, not in the grand scheme of things, but it mattered to him. A whole damn lot.

"Well as long as I don't sound like I've been gargling stones I think I'll live." He would, but he worried it wouldn't be much a life.

Anyway, he decided he didn't want to talk about this anymore. Yes, he sounded and looked like shit. It'd be nice if people stopped pointing that out, because he already knew. It would have been impossible for him not to notice, you know considering that it felt as though his world had crashed down around him just a few weeks ago.It wasn't Cotton's fault though, as annoying as it was. He hadn't pointed it out to make Askan feel like crap, he just...didn't always think things through. Evidently.

It was fine, Askan could deal with it. Not like he had any other choice.

Stepping closer Askan sniffed and... A frown tugged at his lips.

"You been hanging around a River wolf?" The specific scent was familiar and yet he couldn't quite put his paw on it. All he knew was that he wasn't so fond of this particular sent."Making friends with the neighbours?" He didn't disapprove, after all Askan had no quarrel with them. It was simply a lighthearted question, or at least as much as he could manage.

Today really, really wasn't his day was it?

"Sorry." He mumbled, wincing as he tried his best to make himself look small without actually doing anything. And a part of him wondered it it wasn't too late to grovel. If he could get away with dropping to the ground and flailing on his back because he was actually good at that. It wouldn't be the first time he escaped getting mauled by resorting to such tactics and as such, he liked to believe himself to be pretty well practiced. But something about the atmosphere didn't seem like a life or death situation so he decided to drop it. Besides! Askan was doing... Something?

His head cocked to the side and he froze in place when his friend stepped forward, watching Askan's black nose twitch while a signature frown made its way across his features. The bewilderment Cottongrass felt didn't fade even when Askan spoke. Because river wolf. What the heck was a river wolf and why would he hang out with one? His first thought was that Askan must have been talking about the qalupalik or something. But the details were off and there wasn't any frozen over rivers that Cottongrass knew about it. And why would that she-wolf be their neighbor?

It took a second for the details to fall in place. And when they finally did, Cottongrass ever so intelligently blurted out—

"Oh! Yeah, yeah!" Hearthwood River! Aytigin! It was the entire reason he had disappeared for a week! Gone in the name of making friends. Definitely just friends who did friend things like cuddle and... Some other stuff that opened up a flood gate to a realm of self-realization he was hoping to forget about for the rest of his days. The wagging of his tail slowed down and his smile became stiff around the edges while his thoughts flashed back to the last few days.

Because yep.

Good old emotions.

He tried to rush past them by talking. By opening his big mouth and stuttering out a whole lot of words that would somehow magically fix whatever he thought was going on. Like that ever worked for him in the past.

"I went and uh, saw one of my friends—" And at the time I really wanted to see him but now I don't know what I want and I'm probably going to spend the rest of my days hiding away from society now that you reminded me. But that was a mouthful and he didn't really feel comfortable telling Askan about all of that. "His name is Aytigin." He finished awkwardly, tail wagging as he tried to straighten out his stance and look... Normal. Like someone who didn't have an existential crisis, forget about it, and was just reminded of the whole ordeal mere seconds ago.

It was good that Cotton was making an attempt to be social, but still a shame that he wasn't bothering to do the same with other Rye wolves. It's not like there were many others around here, just the Old man and his mate. But seeing as his relationship with Jessie was a little tender, Askan supposed he couldn't bitch too much. Cotton would surely get around to it one day, and if not then he'd sic Reyes on him.

He couldn't help but wonder which River wolf made the three day journey worth it. As decent as they probably were, Askan couldn't think of a wolf who he himself would go out of his way for. Aleksei was all well and good, they got along fine, but would he consider him a friend? Maybe? Sort of? It was hard to tell. Then what of his sister, Inna? She was...okay at best. He questioned her lack of judgement, in fact she seemed like a bit of an airhead. Not the sort of wolf he'd want to associate himself with, not in the long term anyway. What about Lachesis then? Probably. But that wasn't considering all of the shit he'd been through. These days a three day trek didn't sound at all appetising, he'd sooner guard the borders or do something more productive than a mere social call.

But all of that was aside the point. He was thinking about Cotton here. Which River wolf would grab his attention like this?

At first Askan didn't recognise the name, his only thought was that it was an ugly name, a try-hard name, the sort that was too much of a mouthful to be memorable...But then again it did suit the man-or rather boy- who owned it. A scowl settled onto Askan's features and he couldn't help but roll his eyes at the sheer ridiculousness of this situation. Really? Was Cotton's taste so piss poor that he would choose to spend time with him, of all shit-heads?

"You serious?" Askan snorted and shook his head. He couldn't be, he was pulling Askan's tail, surely."Cause that guy's a twat." And that was putting it lightly.