Clearwater Tarn Might just save your life

Daesamar Silverveil
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OOC here!

Fresh air, it seemed like a good idea at the time.The young wolf had pried himself out of the warmth and darkness of communal den and into the cool moonlight of the pack’s territory. The large bulky wolf exhaled softly, sneezing and groaning softly as he looked up at the sky. The moon glowed softly over the towering mountain peaks. Wispy clouds dotted the vast expanse of twilight, the soft, dull glow of distant stars emitted a constant presence and reminder.

Daesamar sniffled as he tried to clear his nose, failing as he angled his head away, coughing softly as he tried not to disturb those still sleeping. He craned his head looking around the entrance before spotting a smooth, flat rock jutting up out of the ground. It looked far more comfortable then the soggy ground and he made his way toward it and settling down to sit. Once he was settled, he turned his head back up toward the sky, sucking in a breath.

It looked just like rugged, untamed mountainous wilderness where he had been born. Bittersweet memories started to crop up, sitting out here late at night, nestled between his mother’s paws. He swallowed, his sore throat aching along with the dull throb within his heart. The yearling had so many unanswered questions, was she still alive? Did she make it out after the attack, or was he the last surviving Silverveil, all because he had been far enough away and ran away like a coward. He had been young, no older than eight months at the time, but still, he felt like he could have done something besides turning tail and running.

He turned his head downwards, tucked aginst his chin as he felt the growing sadness, tears ringing his eyes. He looked around briefly, thinking that he was alone and able to just let them run, he had tried to keep himself busy these past few months, focused solely on surviving and trying to enjoy life. trying to be strong . Now, he had a pack, a family of sorts, he could afford to shed some tears now.

Goodness, Lenae couldn't settle that night. Try as she might, no matter how much she tossed and turned in the privacy of her own little den she just couldn't find the right position. Her belly was too big, too round, it was just impossible. It wasn't as though she hadn't been sleeping as of late, if anything she'd been sleeping too much. All at odd hours, as though she'd forgotten how to be. It was all natural, or at least that's what @Piety had said, but it didn't make any of this easier to deal with. At the very least she wasn't a ruin, Lenae would never be whole. Bits and pieces had been stuck together to form the general shape that was Lenae, but some had been lost. She'd forever be jagged around the edges, fragile, like a porcelain vase.

She'd wandered down from her little abode, hidden amongst the treeline, and made her way to the Tarn, which glinted and gleamed as though it had stolen the moon and stars. It was gorgeous here, in all honesty she hadn't cared too much during the pack's establishment but now...she could see it. She felt close to heaven here, if such a thing ever existed.

It was only then she noticed a dark figure in the not so far distance. Her ears twitched as she picked up on the tell-tale sounds of sniffing, crying. Oh no, oh no no. Her tail curled between her legs as she took a hesitant step back, she was aware of the newcomers, but hadn't yet met them face to face. As rude as that no doubt seemed...it would easier on Lenae if she were to leave. She could barely deal with her own issues these days, someone else's atop hers would no doubt be too much, her little (or not so little anymore) form could only take so much. And yet, she needed to know if he was alright. No one deserved to be sad, least of all someone so young.

Clearing her throat, Lenae approached, slowly and cautiously.

"Are you...is everything all right?"

Daesamar Silverveil
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OOC here!

He had finally gotten comfortable enough, positive that he was alone out here, comfortable enough to let his mask slip just enough to cry. That’s when he heard the soft noise of a throat clearing. Daesamar craned his head, spotting the black and cream furred female. He sniffed the air, recognizing her scent, but unable to put a name to the face. He was caught, his cheeks damp with freshly fallen tears. He caught her question, his crooked ear flicking as he gave a shake of his head. He was tired of trying to bury his feelings, sick of pretending everything was always as happy as he tried to make it out to be. At the same time though, he was happy, his tears were filled with sadness, at the unknown.

But there was also bittersweet joy in the tears that stained his snout.

“I don’t know…” he said quietly, shifting a bit and looking back up at the sky. “It reminds me of home, brought back a mix of feelings.” he added before he turned his silver gaze back onto the swollen woman. “It reminds me of my childhood.” he spoke like it was years ago, unaware that, he was still a child in a way. He was a yearling now, but still young and highly inexperienced. He didn’t know how to feel about of this.

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(This post was last modified: May 11, 2018, 05:42 AM by Daesamar.)

Lenae didn't know what to say. She wasn't all that familiar with this pack mate and in all honesty, it made her a bit nervous. Most of the wolves here were what remained of the Monadnock, but a few strangers had trickled in. It was good for the pack, Lenae knew that, but they weren't family. Not yet anyway.

"Oh...I'm sorry." That was all she could offer really, would it help? Probably not, condolences rarely made her feel any better. But at least it felt nice that someone cared enough to say it.

She didn't want to pry, after all she knew she would have gotten cagey if someone tried to do the same with her. But if not that then what was she supposed to say? There was only so much a couple of strangers (more or less) could talk about. The weather? No, that would be weird if she suddenly jerked the conversation in that direction. Especially when he seemed so sad.

"I'm Lenae." That seemed like the safest course of action.

(This post was last modified: May 28, 2018, 03:45 PM by Lenae.)

Daesamar Silverveil
There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.

OOC here!

The young wolf nodded, he blinked back the tears that rimmed his silver gaze, trying to smile now that he had a name he could put to the face. His mouth opened, he tried to speak but only a broken squeak escaped as a fresh flood of tears caught him, causing him to heave a bit. Looking away quickly, he tried to collect himself, sniffling softly. What could he do? He tried to shallow the sadness, but it just wouldn’t die down, he didn’t want to cry like this, especially when he could tell it caused some discomfort

“Daesamar.” he managed to say before giving up and lowering himself to his stomach, he braced his head on a forepaw, using the other to cover his face for a moment. I-I'm sorry, I just...I feel like a coward like she died because I ran away.” he mumbled through the paw, he hated it, hated that he had chosen now to finally get it all out. The bitter guilt he felt about running away, his parents could be dead, and it’d be his fault. He should have done something, anything but he had run away, his tail tucked between his legs. Now, he ended up unloading it all onto someone else who knew nothing about it.

Lenae wasn't sure what to say or do. Perhaps if she knew the yearling better she would have felt obliged to console him, to say and do whatever she could to make him feel better. But as things stood...she was still a little nervous. What if she said the wrong thing? He seemed to be nice so she didn't think he'd get angry or yell- so did that mean he'd get sad? Would he actually cry? Lenae couldn't deal with that, not in the state she was in.

"Oh well..." She was at a loss at what to do or say, she hadn't really been prepared to have that emotional luggage dumped at her paws. She had enough to deal with of her own, adding more to her pile just was...It seemed unbearable.

If he was looking for consolation he had come to the wrong person. Especially considering everything she'd gone through.

"Well it was nice to meet you...I really ought to- I need to check the borders." A lame excuse if she'd ever uttered one.

Daesamar Silverveil
There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.

"Well it was nice to meet you...I really ought to- I need to check the borders."

Daesamar’s ears perked, he didn’t raise his head from under his paws as she spoke. It appeared that she wasn’t the only one in a  bad emotional state right now. Usually, Daesamar was far more understanding and tried to see the best in stuff, but right now, he couldn’t. He did take what she said the wrong way. Openly dismissing his attempt to open up to someone with what looked like blatant disinterest. It never crossed the youth’s mind that @Lenae wasn’t in a state to be able to help so much that she didn’t care about it.

“Oh…..” He said quietly, he didn’t trust himself to say more than that unless the hurt betrayed within his breaking voice. Slowly, he sat up, careful to keep turned away from her, he thought bitterly about how he’d hate for her to see the tears that stained his cheeks as he bowed his head, looking toward the ground. “just...go then I guess…” he said softly. "The borders, yea, their important.'

Oh no, she'd messed up hadn't she? Awful, terrible, the worst. Why was she like this? A lump formed in her throat as she took a shaky step forward to stop him from leaving. What was she supposed to say, let alone do? Seeing someone suffering just dredged up old memories, things she wanted to keep buried. She couldn't do this, couldn't allow this feeling to fester, to spread throughout the Tarn wolves.

"No...please wait?" Her voice was scarce a whisper. Her tongue felt like lead in her mouth but she continued, because she had to "I want to walk." Maybe that would help, at the very least she could try get the despair out of system. Maybe it would help him too. "The borders, yes, let's go?"

She winced at the tone of desperation to her voice. Like she was about to start begging, or cry. It was a close call either way.

Daesamar’s eyes turned toward the ground, staring at his own broad paws before he took a step forward with his tail drooping. He had already given up on the attempt at conversation after she had shrugged it off. He wasn’t a wolf to press things and it became obvious that Lenae wasn’t in the best emotional state either. He felt sick inwardly, it seemed like everything always went wrong when he tried to open up and now something he had said hurt his packmate. He wanted to say something, anything that could assure her that it was ok. Gradually he was learning that sometimes it was best to sort your emotions out when you were alone.

The yearling’s ears perked when he heard Lenae’s plea, it was faint, barely above a whisper but he caught it. He felt even worse now, why did it have to be so hard just to communicate sometimes. She wanted to walk now, bring him along the borders with her. “How..how about we sit?” he said after a moment and trying to smile when he looked at her. “Things are kinda awkward now aren't they? But we’re packmates, why not just try and enjoy each others company?” Taking a step closer he built up the courage to brush against the smaller female’s flank. It was something his mother had always done to help calm him down, so he figured it might help others as well.