Princess' Place Confessions

For @Daesamar | Continuation of I'll Love the World Like I Should

"Someone told me once that you can't help who you love. I think that's true. I think it's what makes love such a pure, timeless thing..." her head tilted ever so slightly, the expression on her face thoughtful. "For what it's worth, there is love in my heart for you, too."

Lyanna searched his face, curious as to whether or not Daesamar would take her words for what they were worth. Against the backdrop of the early-evening blue of the open sky, the colors of the meadow began to change, darkening in the slightest way - almost as if to reveal a spectrum of hues as new as the feelings that emerged in him. The angst she'd brought with her here had faded as their time together lulled by, leaving room for some peace to grow in its place. She hoped that he'd feel it too, that it would help to dry the trails left on either side of his muzzle by the tears he'd wept.

Though she could have gone on to add to what she'd said to him, the girl thought better of it. If there was more that he wanted to get off his chest, she would make the time necessary to hear him out. It was the least he deserved, the least she could offer.

Daesamar didn’t know what he could have said after that. He was young, the exact means and depts of love were new to the yearling. @Lyanna had said she had love for him as well. Slowly, he closed his eyes, breathing in her scent while thinking things over. There were butterflies fluttering around inside of his stomach at the news. He breathed slowly before finally opening his silver gaze and turning his head to look back at her. Opening his mouth, he planned to say something, but no words came out. He didn’t want to ruin the peace, and yet there were some any questions he had brewing inside.

“I think I understand what you mean,” He said before pressing his nose against her cheek, enjoying the warmth and comfort her body pressed against his provided. “Friends for now, and if you need to talk...I’m still on the mountainside.” he added before turning attention to the flowers around them. A thought crossed his mind, she was in a pack now. What if he left the Tarn and tried to join it? He’d be closer to Lyanna then, and able to help her far more than making these long treks away from the Tarn. “Lyanna….” he murmured after a moment, feeling sick at the mere thought of it. He’d be betraying Piety and the others Tarn wolves though. “Do you think….your pack, What if I came to it?”

Daesamar grazed his silver eyes over her, breathing it in and parting his lips to speak but unable to get the words out perhaps. He'd said that he understood, that their friendship could remain, and it made the weight his affections feel a bit lighter on her shoulders. She was able to understand that at his age, maybe he hadn't felt that way before. To understand how special that could be to him. And in her own way, she understood that she'd never actually felt that way for anyone. Not yet.

She inhaled a quiet breath as he offered her himself to confide in if she ever needed to get anything off her chest, a delicate smile gracing her features. "That's very kind of you, Daesamar. And I want you to know that I'm always here for you, too, somewhere just through those woods." She gestured to the thick, darkening forest of Secret Falls. And then her friend said something she didn't see coming, not for miles.

"Do you think...Your pack, what if I came to it?"

Good question. Her first thought was of Askan. His hardened exterior, the sharp, dismissive looks, the way he was exactly who he was with little consideration for what others might think of him. She thought of the fact that everything about her dark Leader was opposite of Daesamar - young, inexperienced, warm-hearted, impressionable perhaps. Her next thought was of the rest of her pack mates. Reyes was kind to her, but that didn't mean he didn't have his ways about him. There were a couple of younger ones, some whom she'd yet to meet or spend time with. All in all, Shallows Edge was as solid as they came, strong and capable. Looking back at her friend through warm eyes that weren't the least bit judgmental, she wondered if he'd sink or swim. Or if Askan and Reyes would even permit him.

"Well," her brows lifted thoughtfully, "is that something that you think you want?" It was the most important question to clarify. It wasn't lost on her that, for him, in going through with that, it would mean leaving his current pack behind. Who knew how the Tarn wolves would take to his decision, if he chose to leave.

There is a deer carcass being picked over by three coyotes. They spot you and become territorial of their kill.

As soon as the words left his mouth Daesamar grimaced a bit. He felt selfish even saying it. The Tarn had taken him in after all and yet here he was, already offering to leave it. He wasn’t sure he could, they needed him as much as he needed them. The time he’s spent so far with Lyanna though, it had been nice, genuine and just...he wasn’t sure how he could even put the rest of it into words. It felt like they had already shared a deep connection, could he really go without that for long? He couldn’t answer her question honestly yet. Yes, he wanted to just spit it out, but he knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t willing to hurt his pack by just leaving.

He groaned softly and settled for thinking about it later when he had more time and a clearer head. He was lying to himself if he didn’t admit that Lyanna’s presence made him very biased in that regard. “I’d have to think on it...I regret blurting that out.” he said, prepared to say more when he heard something that left his blood running cold. He smelled them first and then spotted the smaller figures. “Coyotes…” He said as he started to rise and place himself between his friend and them “Should we fight or just leave? They might be too occupied with their kill.” The sudden sickening picture of his companion getting attacked by the beasts left him grimacing, he promised himself that he wouldn’t let that happen.
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It was easy to see that Daesamar was putting a lot of thought into formulating an answer for her, or into the prospect of leaving his pack to find a place of his own in a new one. She couldn't blame him, it was such a big decision, perhaps one way or the other. Did he want to leave the Tarn for the Edge to be near to her? And if so, what would that mean for her? She was really just settling in with @Askan and the rest of the pack, settling into the new area and her new life that, so far, was eventful and requiring quite a bit of responsibility. If Daesamar was around, would it be a distraction? Or nice to have a companion? Would she be content with the prospect of having someone she cared about to curl into some nights?...Would it be healthy for him, to essentially change his life for a girl he seemed to care a lot about? What if things didn't work out the way he envisioned? Or the way she envisioned.

So. Many. Uncertainties. Yet, there were many things she was entirely certain of. For one thing, she was learning to love her place in Shallows Edge, growing to be rather fond of her pack mates and of Askan and Reyes. She was certain about herself, about the fact that she wanted a good life and knew she was fully capable of making one for herself. She was certain that she desired to rise up through the ranks, to have a position and a reputation to be proud of. And she was certain that Daesamar was one of her closest companions. Whatever decision he did make, she would support him fully, and she would try to be a voice of reason, for the betterment of his wellbeing.

Before she could even get a word in edgewise, low and behold - more coyotes. If she wasn't so content in her time with Daesamar, she would have rolled her eyes or maybe even blown a gasket at this point. When was it ever going to end? At this rate, the wolves of the Lore would have to hunt down and kill every last coyote before their timeless forest became overrun. The thought of the coyotes multiplying was enough to make her want to undertake the effort personally. Who knew, maybe she would. But tonight, with the sun setting and side by side with her friend, she didn't feel even the slightest inclination to deal with a single coyote - much less three of them. With a quiet yet determined sigh, her eyes drifted from the eery little band of vermin to Daesamar.

"They're hardly worth our time. Let's get out of here. Come." She rose to her feet, eyes narrowing in a sidelong glance at their rude interrupters before she nipped gently at her companion's shoulder before padding and eventually loping toward the treeline.

Keeping the pace for time enough, eventually she'd led the way deeper into Secret Forest. By now, darkness was descending on the twisting, ancient woodland, the moonlight that came with it guiding her paths in a pale, silver glow. Lyanna wasn't really looking for a specific spot, but rather for a secluded sort of place where they could hunker down safely for the night. Meandering through the twists and turns and shadows, down and up a shallow ravine, and through a meadow so small she was fairly certain she'd never see it again even if she tried, she found the perfect place..

Nestled away in what must have been the most quiet corner of the world, there was a pile of large, petrified tree trunks, criss-crossed over one another and covered with perhaps years of moss and verdant vines. Beneath them there was what looked to be a space already carved out, deep and dark and dry. The girl slowed to a stop, catching the sight of what she thought had been the tiny flash of a firefly before gazing at her dark furred counterpart. In the night, he nearly disappeared in the shadows, save for his pale eyes.

"Think it'll do?" she asked of him in a hushed voice.

(This post was last modified: Aug 17, 2018, 07:30 AM by Lyanna.)

She was so calm and confident about what to do. It left the young wolf baffled. The way Lyanna carried herself with such assurance, compared to his hesitant stumblings into new territory. He was scared of taking the lead and making a mistake. Content to follow for now, He nodded while keeping his eyes on the growing pest. The coyotes weren’t worth his time, but Lyanna was and he was content to move if it meant he got to spend more time in her company instead of splitting off and heading off back to the Tarn just yet. Daesamar felt her playful nip on his shoulder and he gasped dramatically, a soft tingle of pleasure ran down his spine as he turned. His mouth was open, but she was already retreating and he took off after her. His tail wagging and the coyotes forgot with every step away from that he took.

The path darkened, broken shafts of moonlight was his only guide besides Lyanna’s dark tawny pelt twisting around the trunks before him. He was happy to chase after her, the worries of the world forgotten for the time being as he moved further into the protective depts of the forest. Lyanna finally stopped and Daesamar moved up to stand beside her. He looked into the alcove and gave a small now. His silver gaze bright and shining, his black lips twisting back into a smirk as he nipped at her chin before taking a step forward. “It’s perfect, I’ll even go first and disregard you trying to chew my face off.” As he said it, he moved forward, placing a broad paw on the slight slope. The twisted vegetation shifted slightly, revealing it to be stable underpaw and he placed his other forepaw forward before he starting the short descent.

He did his best to smack Lyanna in the face with his tail as he passed and reaching the alcove and looked around. It was a tight fit for the large wolf. “Come on down!” he shouted before flopping over on top of the undergrowth, this way Lyanna could use him as a bed instead of having to lay on the hard ground.

She grinned at the nip he planted on her chin, watching as he managed to maneuver himself inside the little hole they'd found, seeming to disappear into the darkness save for his silver eyes. Come on down! And so she did, shuffling her way in and about until she was angled well enough to plop down beside him with a huff. Leaning so that his warmth nestled around the curve of her back, she laid her head down with her cheek on his closest foreleg.

"You always did make for a comfy pillow," she got out between drawing in a deep breath and exhaling a whiny yawn. The beat of his heart thumped along her ribs. Fidgeting a bit with her hind leg, Lyanna settled in easily. The forest was quieter than she could have hoped for, and now that the coyotes were long gone (at least for now) she realized how tired she actually was. "...What's it like, up where you are on the mountain?" After what he'd said back in the meadow about leaving his pack behind and given what he'd shared about how he felt about the loss of his mother, she couldn't help but to wonder if he was really happy there. Or if his current back was enough of a support system. Quite honestly, she was still a little dazed at the notion that he'd want to leave them to be, well, close to her. He'd said he'd need to think on it some more, regretted blurting it out, but it wouldn't have come out quite like that if it hadn't been true, right?

She supposed her pillow talk could've concerned something a little less weighty, but the whole thing sort of felt like a pressing matter.

Daesamar had few things that he regretted in his life so far. The biggest had been his decision to run away when he was younger, leaving his pack and family alone in blind fear. Another had been denying himself the truth by hiding behind a fake smile and trying his best to keep his emotions hidden. The third and most recent however had to be neglecting to look closer at the ground before just tossing himself upon it. A sharp rock dug lightly into his shoulder as his companion adjusted herself and scooted closer to his form. Though, he’d face any amount of discomfort to be able to be this close to someone. Her scent was far stronger now and the young wolf breathed it in slowly while she made herself at home. Lyanna’s weight was comforting, though she could only hear his heart beating normally, to him, it felt like it felt like how he assumed a deer’s heartfelt when they heard the hunting wolves’ howls.

His body shook slightly with his snort of amusement at her first comment, and closing his eyes he was content to just enjoy the moment for what it was. She brought it up, however, the question that had been nagging at the back of his mind ever since he had blurted it out before with little thought. He didn’t answer at first, instead, he rested his chin over her neck before turning his eyes up toward the sky and the thick canopy of the forest that surrendered them. Unconsciously, he shifted, pulling her even closer ina protective huddle. “It’s beautiful up there.” he said almost instantly, before pausing and thinking about it. “It’s a good place to stay, I’m safe there, waking up to the sun rising over the peaks, the golden rays breaking through the clouds...but at the same time...I don’t know, I feel like an outlier at times, everyone else there is from an older pack, their either family or close friends and well you can see it sometimes.”

Daesamar shifted about for a moment and she laid still until he settled so as not to disturb his search for a comfortable position. When he was done, she soaked up the comforting warmth his large form offered, curled around her body just so. Even if she was unaware - as she couldn't actually see his face from her nest - her gaze searched the same patch of night sky where it was visible in patches through the shadowed leaves and branches overhead.

She envisioned what Relic Lore and the world beyond looked like from atop the mountain, bathed in the pale, golden rays of an early morning sun. She imagined what he looked like in the same light, his dark form perched somewhere among the jagged, stony landscape of the mountainside. As he went on to answer her question, it easily sounded like her friend had mixed emotions about life at Clearwater Tarn. It wasn't easy to fit in as a newcomer to a group that was already established, this she knew from personal experience. But wasn't it reasonable to deduce that time would ease the transition? In her case she supposed it had, but she wasn't in a place to judge Daesamar's journey as a pack wolf and she didn't want to. Maybe he'd had a harder time settling in there than she had in Shallows Edge, and it wasn't like she knew any of his pack mates or the dynamic of his relationships to a one of them. If anything, she wanted to support him, to hear him out in anything he had to say, and perhaps to offer what guidance she could.

Daesamar was young, of course, but he was smart, sharp, and wanted to make something of himself - all favorable qualities that were useful to a pack. She thought carefully about what she would say, roving her nose slowly over his foreleg in quiet contemplation. "It sounds pretty. I think a view of the sunrise from the top of the world is a hard one to beat," she murmured, her lips pulling into a tired grin. "Have you gotten close to anyone there yet, in your pack? -- The bumps in the road are easier to overcome when you've got a friend to help shoulder the weight, make you laugh when things get tough..." Just outside their quaint shelter, the buzzing flicker of firefly light sputtered in the darkness.