Shallows Edge hands tied

And then you get up and get up and get up again

Reyes absence had left a chasm in the Edge and for the longest time Remi had held to the idea shit happened and they'd find him or he'd turn up. But the further they went into winter it became clear he might not come back and their remaining leader wasn't handling it well. It was hard to witness, and even harder to ignore. But she had no idea what to do for him. She knew what it was like to lose a loved one, but not like this. This she decided was a lot worse because other than looking for Reyes she felt pretty helpless. While she thought a lot about trying to "cheer" the Selwyn up but the probability of that seemed as likely as her finding Reyes. Besides this was bad, horrible even,  and she felt trying to act like it wasn't would just be another slap to the face. The idea still lingered with the stretch of time but she mostly stuck to her routine giving the man his space.

Each day she woke up with a determination things would get better. Keeping the faith he'd come back or the balance. Today she was just tired of it all. What if he didn't come back? What if he'd meant to leave them? Would others go? Would everyone lose spirit? They'd been doing pretty good, couldn't it be like that a little longer?

On and on the ideas spiraled downward with her own mood. She took a swipe at a snow drift, then clamped her teeth through it. Repeating the action while leaping at it from different directions. Slowly getting some of her restless energy and emotion out. It was covered in white powder with damp legs and snout she realized it was time to do something. The Edge wasn't lost. It was broken, and it would  take some work to keep it from falling apart. A new mindset she knew where to start.

After hours of work she snagged a big, old rabbit now to just find Askan. With her prize tightly in her grip she hurried after his most recent trail with a spark of hope. Even if he was holed up in his den she told herself she wouldn't give up so easily.

It didn't get any easier but Askan had got a little- a tiny- bit better at hiding the hurt. At the very least he wasn't snarling at anyone now, threatening to rip their throat out at the smallest incontinence. It was hard though, winter was always tough and with all the weight squarely upon his shoulders Askan found himself just wanting spring to arrive already. Damn the consequences and the troubles that came with it, he just wanted some sort of respite. Regardless of how he felt there was work to be done, ploughing through the snow with his stubby legs was a royal pain in the arse but he was sort of grateful that he had shit to do. Wallowing in the darkness of his den wouldn't do him any good, almost out of spite he wanted to prove to Reyes he wasn't the centre of his universe. Not any-fucking-more. 

By the time Remington found him, Askan had made his way to an old fallen tree, along the western border that faced the mountain. It was hollow inside, just about big enough for Askan to squeeze in without too much discomfort. Had it been further away from the border he might have considered using it as a temporary den, another spot for him to find solitude but...Well, he couldn't drag the thing along could he? It'd be more effort than it was worth anyway. With a huff he climbed atop the tree and craned his neck up, as though it granted a high vantage point. It was then he noticed his Keeper trotting along with a rabbit in mouth. His eyes narrowed a little as his lips smushed into a typical frown, unless she'd just returned from a hunt it seemed as though she had an agenda, possibly something she wanted to say.

"Remington." He rumbled, in way of greeting.

As I read back can't believe I didn't finish that rabbit thread. *kicks self in butt* x|

And then you get up and get up and get up again

The closer he went to the borders the more she thought about turning back. If he was leaving the Edge she wasn't sure if she should continue. For one her jaws were starting to strain from the weight of the rabbit, and maybe getting away from the Edge was how he got a moment of peace. Something prodded her forward so she listened.

He had to be around here somewhere. That's when she felt his eyes upon her. She had to smirk at his new perch, and the familiar frown. She didn't wait for him to ask her to join him, she went straight to the fallen tree where she happily dropped the rabbit. His greeting might have soured her mood, but it was "normal" so for her a good sign or....something.

"Found this big guy and he reminded me of that one time we hunted so I wanted to bring it to ya unless you aren't hungry?" She did well to keep concern or pity from her face. In fact after cleaning her snout she had her crooked smile, and nothing marred her gold eyes. "It also got me thinking about having a pack hunt. We got a good combination of yearlings, us old ones, and a pup who could keep up." Of course she had more she wanted to say but she was not going to drop more on him. She figured she'd see how the idea went if she dare add anything else.

Lets do it in spring time XD

Askan hummed, he remembered the last time they'd hunted rabbits together. He wanted to say those had been better times but it was like comparing the earth to the sky, it didn't really fit no matter how he tried to slot them together. Looking down at the rabbit he wrinkled his nose, his appetite wasn't great these days but he wasn't starving himself either. He ate when he felt like it and hoarded the rest. Winter was a time to be frugal and he'd never been the sort to comfort eat.

"Take it to the cache, or give it to Lae. She's always hungry." In his eyes she was an Old Hag with a bottomless pit of a stomach. Not the nicest of labels but he meant no harm.

He adjusted his gait as he pursed his lips, her suggestion was one he'd been rolling around in his head for a while. There had been talk of a hunt with Lach's pack but in a way Askan had been avoiding the Ghost, the less people who knew about Reyes going walk about the better. Or at least that's how it worked out in his mind. He could imagine the rumours, snippy little comments that made Askan want to bite down till he could taste blood. 'Pathetic isn't it? Everyone hates him in the end, can't say I'm surprised. Lasted longer than I would have thought though. Almost two years? Impressive.' The voices had no names or faces, just shapeless masses of self loathing and hurt. All because Askan wasn't as strong as he liked to pretend.

"Yeah I thought about it." He said, his jaw tight. "Somewhere close, I don't feel like dragging it all the way back." He turned then and set his gaze on her, it wasn't quite as firm as he would have wanted. There was always a little...edge of vulnerability to him now, like he was trying so desperately to keep everything under lock and key. He failed, because he always did."Pass the word on would you?"

If she had anything else to say now would be the time.

hell yeah!

And then you get up and get up and get up again

Maybe a bit of disappointment shot forth, but she wasn't exactly surprised he declined it for himself. Suddenly she opened her mouth almost worried he thought she was rubbing it in his face. She ended up closing it, and giving a nod. She was just overthinking as usual.

He was quietly thinking she didn't dare interject. Even if it felt like he might be doing it a little longer than he might have..before.

"Yeah that'd be nice," she agreed, already trying to decide where that ought to be. Where she might have noticed the herds last. If she might need to go out and convince a group to head a certain way in their favor before the actual event. She wished Phoenix was around to help with that. But for so much more. This sucked and Remi didn't feel she knew Askan well enough to really help him like he needed to be. Why no doubt the Edge had been through a lot already the bonds were just not as thick as they ought to be.

Unprepared for his stare she had to make the effort not to look away. Especially seeing the tiniest bit of his pain in their yellow depths. It just made her feel sad and angry all at once. She didn't realize he'd spoken, and after a pause she nodded. "Yeah, of course." Then she heaved in a breath for courage, and maybe for smarts. She would regret not saying anything but it didn't make this any easier. "You know you don't have to do it all alone," she whispered. It wasn't pity in her eyes, but a softness, a plea to see that. To understand the rest of them cared about him. Reyes may have walked but they hadn't. Mostly all of them were part of the Edge because of Askan. Did he know that?

(This post was last modified: Jan 31, 2019, 10:47 PM by Remington.)