And reminded me why I was there

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She'd had a lot on her mind when she awoke this morning. Actually, it wasn't just this morning, it had been every morning since they arrived here in the Fen. Capella wanted to have a talk with @Anastasia, and with everyone settling into pack life quite nicely, she thought now might be the time. Before this, she had held off, not wanting to steal her away from her duties which came first and foremost, but with the early morning light she assumed the pups would still be nestled up fast asleep, and she could ask Ana to take a walk with her. She planned on unloading a lot to her new alpha, and possibly helping her understand a lot where she may be curious. Anastasia deserved to know about Rosealia, and asking Shade about it might be difficult. After all, his heart had been ripped out by his ex mate, and making him relive the moments might be a little to hard for him to bare.

Rain hit lightly against her fur as she padded toward the den. She was only assuming her bright alpha would be there, but it wasn't a bad guess. Anastasia spent a lot of time with the puppies as of late, keeping them alive when Capella could not. It was something she would always be thankful for. A light smile crossed her lips as she poked her head just outside the hideaway. Her whisper was barely heard as she didn't want to wake the young ones. "Ana, can I talk to you?" She took a step backward awaiting an answer, or for her Alpha to peak out the entrance.

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Lovely table, and signature by Arla <3

you're fine! :)

Anastasia had been cuddled up quite cozily to the children for hours, Shade laying nearby sleeping as well. The two little bundles simply sleeping restfully within their new home, though she was sure the two of them would be up and at it in no time. After all, they were children and always had bounds and bounds of energy that never seemed to dissipate. Although she was still young, she was almost positive that she didn’t have as much unspent energy as they did. Hers was just used in different activities throughout the day to keep herself busy and the pack safe.

XIX wasn’t in the den, likely out on a walk or maybe doing something other than sleeping. Normally he was somewhere nearby or with Capella—though, she seemed to be missing too so perhaps he was with her this morning. Lowering her head back down to rest she was called to talk. It was obviously Capella, though no scent of Nineteen remained so her assumptions were then shot that he might be with her. Wasting no time at all she quietly lifted herself away from the kids and walked just to the entrance of the den. A smile crept onto her face as she greeted Capella warmly, appreciating the young girls company.

“Hey,” she whispered as they began a slow walk away from the den, “is there something wrong?” Normally when ‘can I talk to you’ arose it was normally a bad thing, at least in Anastasia’s past it had been, so she felt she had reason to ask now.

by Sarah

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She was happy to see the stark white alpha appear out of the den. Capella had been afraid that she was going to have to track her down, only to find that she was with someone else. Of course she wouldn't have asked for a moment alone with the blue eyed female if Shade had been awake, as she didn't want anyone to know that they were having this talk. It was important to her that he didn't dwell on the past, and she certainly didn't plan on bringing it up in front of him. A sigh left her lips as Anastasia questioned her. "Nothing is wrong per se, but I think there are some things you should know." Her ears fell flat on her skull, partly in submission as well as the sadness which filled her. "I'm sure you know that Rose left us, and you are the one who stepped up in her place, right?" She awaited an answer, while being positive that she had.

Before she continued she looked around, making sure they weren't being followed. "I just wanted you to know that she left him once before this, and he was crushed. I didn't know if he was going to keep going, but he did. Neither of us held hope for her return, but miraculously she reappeared and gave birth to Karpos and Adsila. During her stay with us, she wasn't very.. present. She more or less stayed in the den with the cubs where any mother would." She paused, not for effect, but rather to gather up her own words. She was beginning to ramble, and needed to get back to the point. "Anyway, she never gave an explanation for her absence, although I am not sure Shade asked for one. I also don't know what you plan to do if she comes back, but I don't think I would accept her as my leader." It was something she had never told anyone before. Her heart lied here in Pitch Pine Trail, but with a flighty alpha, she wouldn't be able to stay. "I want you to know that I would stand behind you if you chose to refuse her your position." A nod of determination followed her words, and she looked to Anastasia for her reaction.

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Lovely table, and signature by Arla <3

ramble, i apologize >_>

From the moment that she had come to Shade with the intention of joining, she had been met with the greatest gift a young woman could ask for. It was by his choice that he looked upon a stranger like herself and offered her the position of caring for his children. XIX might not have noticed or even knew, but having children had always been something she wanted—she yearned for it.

In her old pack, a woman could not lead, be a warrior, be a scout, or be an advisor— nothing. The only thing a woman was capable of was puppy-sitting and sometimes peacekeeping, if a woman’s perspective was absolutely necessary. Anastasia likely would have been given children if she had stayed just a little longer (as her history denotes, it would have been forced upon her) but she didn’t want that. Anastasia Starklen wanted to have children with a man who could love deeply, who loved all no matter what.

To her, Shade had opened up another portal to a dimension that was opposite to her past—it was like looking into her future. At first, she knew that she would be taking care of his children but then he announced that she would also be taking the position of Alpha Female. Leading was something that she had never seen for herself and had only ever thought about it when Reaper had announced that it would be a possibility, but when Shade opened it up to her as a gift without a second thought she couldn’t help but feel the excitement. Shade saw something… something that she herself had never seen. Perhaps XIX saw it, too. He knew her more than she knew herself, apparently.

With bright, shining eyes she looked upon Capella in hopes that this would not be entirely bad news but simply things that would be necessary to continue. Information regarding the pack, Lachesis, or likely herself. Either way, she followed the young girl intently and without question so that she could listen to her with full attention. Nodding, she understood that she had somewhat taken the place of Shade’s ex-mate. The last thing she wanted to do was step on anyone’s paws but if they were going to protect the children then they had no other options.

The creamy woman continued to explain the history of Shade and Rose, detailing that the woman had left once before and that Shade had pressed on with hopes. Apparently she came back just in time to deliver the children but wasn’t really there to interact like she normally would. It was a shame, for she had two beautiful children. Anastasia frowned, finding that this was certainly a sad story that she only wished to comfort Shade but she knew that there were boundaries.

Perhaps it was Capella’s announcement that if Rosealia came back, she didn’t think she could accept her back as her leader. But that would mean…? “I would not want Shade to get hurt again, nor you or the children.” She answered kindly though she also felt that if Rosealia challenged her for the rank, that she might not have a choice. Anastasia had always seen herself as less than strong, never being one to finish out a fight because of her size and disposition.

by Sarah

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A solemn look graced her pale features, and she turned toward her superior. It might not have been her place, but she knew she did the right thing in telling Anastasia. She deserved to know of the wolf who came before her. She also needed to know that she was doing an exceptional job already, at least in Capella's eyes. "I won't stand there and watch Shade's family be ripped apart again. If Rose could have just seen the look in his eyes when he found her missing..." It was the truth, she would leave before she relived those days. Shade was a part of her family, he was there when she had nothing, and she would return the favor in any way she could.

Dandelion eyes touched the painted sky, filling up with the rising sun. There was much she wanted to say to her colorless companion, but there would be plenty of time for that. After all, it was a new beginning for all of them. Thoughts poured back to her family, and how proud her mother always seemed to be of her. Of course Capella had her bouts of endless energy, and her great deal of flaws, but at the end of the day her mother always loved her. She was there regardless of the situation, and for a mother to leave without a single word? How could it be? If it weren't for Ana, the tiny pair wouldn't have even made it. "I'd also like to thank you." Her words were meant more for herself than for Ana, but she wanted to say it out loud, she needed Ana to know how important she was. "I know Shade asked a lot of you, but your very good with Karp and Adsila. They adore you, really. I think we all do." She paused as she caught her breath. The next part wasn't something she liked to think about, as it flung another one of her flaws out into the open. Certain that Ana wasn't going to use it against her in any way, she began. "I wasn't able to keep them alive, but you were." It was a heartfelt confession, dripping with pure honesty. She already held more respect for her superior than she had for almost anyone.

Her respect was not only stemmed from the fact that she was caring for the two little lives, but also because she had taken care of Lachesis before this. Anastasia was teaching him, and looking out for him. She was a wolf who had a genuinely good soul. Her heart always seemed to be in the right place. Not to mention the fact that she was gentile. When correcting the cubs she didn't yell, or growl. Capella was sure she had never even heard the female raise her voice in the time that she had been living within the pack.

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Lovely table, and signature by Arla <3

It pained her to know about Shade and all that had happened with him but sometimes bad things happened to the best of people. From what she had seen, Shade had deserved the abandonment of his mate, especially not more than once. “I promise I’ll be around a while,” and she would be (she assumed/thought). After all, she didn’t think that her or Reaper would be prepared to create their pack any time soon and sometimes she wasn’t so sure that that would be her decision. After talking with Lachesis, she didn’t feel like she could leave him. He was the most important character in her life and where he felt the drive to make sure she was happy, she felt that she always needed to see his happiness.

It was when Capella mentioned that the children adored her and that they all adored her that she couldn’t help but feel a hitch in her throat. They all did? Anastasia had never felt an entire entity of adoration but somehow she had become someone worthy of trust and love. A feeling that had always been rare in her life but now it seemed a common thing that she could always look for. “I’m very glad to help Shade. It truly emphasizes my desire for children one day—I adore puppies so much and can only look forward to the day that I am able to mother my own.” That wasn’t too say that she didn’t see Karpos and Adsila as the most wonderful children ever but sometimes, a woman just desired to birth her own. Though, she certainly hoped that whomever she had children with would never walk out of her life.

“Can I ask a favor of you Capella?” This would likely hurt her emotionally but it was something that she needed to tell her. Something that certainly drove Ana but if something were to happen to her, Capella would need to be strong. “I love Lachesis. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. Every good thing that I have had in the valley is because of him. If I’m not with him, I’m not my whole self but don’t get him into too much trouble.” Although most of that was highly emotion on her part, her request was meant to be serious yet silly. Capella would keep him safe, she felt assured, but it simply needed to be known that without Lachesis she likely couldn’t continue.

by Sarah

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Capella was going to hold onto that promise, just as she did for Lachesis' return. Anastasia promised that she would be around for a while, but something about that struck her weird. Did the blue-eyed girl not plan on staying with them forever? Scenarios began playing through the young wolf's head as she tried to pick the sentence apart. Worry spread through her body like wildfire as she tried to imagine life without her two favorite ivory wolves. Surely if Ana planned on leaving her, Lachesis did as well, but would they really? Her heart sank a little bit as she thought of their departure. The yearling had a terrible fear of losing those around her. Ever since her separation from the only family she knew she did her best to keep those she loved as close to her as possible. No, they couldn't leave, could they?

Anastasia's voice pulled her back into the conversation before she was ready. Her mind was a little foggy from what she could only hope was over thinking, and she had to run over the words in her head a second time before fully understanding them. Ana spoke of the day when she would be able to bare her own children, a thought that had never crossed Capella's mind before. She was still too young to desire children, or even think about having them yet. Whenever she thought about pups, she just figured if it happened then it would happen, and if not then maybe it wasn't meant to be. Not to mention she had never fallen in love before. A small smile touched her lips and she understood; Maybe not fully, but she could figure it out in her head. There was supposed to be something wonderful and magical about having pups of your own, and although these pups were treated as if they belonged to the alabaster wolf, they weren't physically hers.

She felt her brow crease as her superior asked a favor of her. Of course she planned on doing it regardless of what it was. Ana wouldn't ask something terrible of her, and she respected the ashen fae enough to obey any orders given to her. Capella gave simple nod, allowing Ana to continue on and ask the favor of her. When the words fell from the alpha's lips once again she could feel her heart sinking. The raw emotion in the question was blatant, and so there would be no way she could refuse. Of course she wouldn't get Lachesis into any trouble. He was far too fragile for that, at least in her mind. Dandelion eyes fell against the white female's feet, finding safety and comfort there. If she didn't have to look up, so long as her orbs could remain glued to that spot she was alright. "I promise I wont let any harm come to him so long as I can help it, and that would protect him with my life if I had to." Her voice rang out with honesty as she spoke, but there was also sadness mixed in. For some reason Capella felt as if this was almost a goodbye, when it should have been the opposite. Ana was here to stay, content to live happily within their family, right? Did she foresee some imminent demise in her future? Just for now, she decided that some things were best left unsaid. In this moment she didn't want to think of her family parting off from her, but rather relish the time she was sure she had.

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Lovely table, and signature by Arla <3

It was still unknown to her if her stay here was permanent. It was unfortunate, even for her. Reaper had been the first to see her potential, see her for the wonderful wolf that she saw and instantly she had promised him her help. Little did she know that his plan wouldn’t be made official promptly and she couldn’t handle being a lone wolf for much longer, so he sent her off to join another pack.

At first, she had seen this as a good thing. The children would eventually grow up and not need to have their milk anymore so it would be easy to see that her job would be done by the time she left. However, after having met the wolves here, knowing Shade, seeing how happy XIX was… she wasn’t sure it’d be that easy. She would stay strong and steady for the wolves here, fulfilling her duties now and doing everything as though she would be there forever. It was very likely that she could be, but the future was always changing.

Ana didn’t want to worry Capella. That was the least likely thing that she wished to do, all she desired was that Lachesis always be in capable hands no matter what. Although Capella saw Lachesis as a fragile boy—he was anything but. Anastasia had always seen a strong soul in the male, he could stay strong and brave through everything just so long as he had others encouraging him along the way.

“He’s the most important wolf in my life,” she answered solemnly but with compassion. Even if Lachella ever happened she would likely try her best to deal with it and move on, just so long as he was happy with his choices. Capella was a nice girl and he deserved a nice girl.

by Sarah

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Dandelion eyes watched as Ana spoke, allowing true emotion to fall through. She didn't like the sadness in her voice, or the despair that could be read in the energy pulsing off of her. It wasn't right for someone who should be so happy, to feel so down. Capella had to resist the urge to reach out and comfort her friend. She wanted to understand what was going on in the ashen wolf's head. Why was she so forlorn? Was she too plagued by memories, or thoughts from her past? Was this something entirely different? The pale fae couldn't make sense of it, because she didn't have all of the information. She didn't know much about Anastasia other than what Lachesis had told her, which didn't include the blue-eyed female's past.

Words were still gnawing at her stomach begging to be released, and although she tried her best to push them away it didn't seem likely. She just had to make sure that Anastasia knew how much she was already loved here. Exactly how much everyone needed her and relied on her, especially Lachesis. "You know, I've never heard anyone talk about another the way he talks of you. I knew before I met you exactly how special you were, and how important to him you were. If someone could ever speak of me that way, then I think I could pass on happily." Happiness touched her voice, but stopped at her eyes. They were filled with despair as she could only hope that one day she would be special to someone as well. Would anyone ever look upon her the way Lachesis does to Anastasia, or vise versa? Their love for each other was unconditional in whatever form it took, and would probably last forever. It was beautiful, and she could only hope that one day a love like that would find her.

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Lovely table, and signature by Arla <3

It felt absolutely amazing to know that Lachesis had multiple wolves looking out for him. Since he was truly was the one thing in her life that she held most dear to her heart, she couldn’t imagine him being unhappy. They helped each other through everything and somehow, they always knew what to do or say in the right moment and at the right time. They understood each other and how the other functioned, leaving them both very capable of cheering the other up. This pack was going to change a lot of things for them and hopefully, if things panned out the way they already were, she would never ever leave. So far, the two children were already tugging at her heart and she never wanted to leave them. Right now, it just wasn’t a possibility.

It wasn’t necessarily surprising to hear that Lachesis spoke well of her but it certainly did make her heart swell to a decent size. “We met each other at a time when we both needed someone to lean on, so I’m sure has a lot to do with how much we care for one another. I can’t picture anyone else standing by my side in my life other than him but the future is always full of surprises, but nothing could ever take his place.” This was a sure-fire, positive thing that she knew couldn’t happen. Not even with Reaper. As far as she was concerned, there was no life without XIX by her side.

by Sarah

i'd love more threads, so message me if you'd like one!
looking for friends, potential love interests and role-inspired threads!