i raise my flags - Anastasia - Jun 23, 2013
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@Lachesis
From the very moment that she had joined Shade, she had been suspiciously happy. She enjoyed every minute that she got to spend with the Alpha’s children, watching them babble and be as cute as kids were. It made her want children of her own, driving her to desperation as he hoped that by some miracle next year might be the year. In her old pack it would have happened by now—she would have children that were half a year old by now but she had refused to birth anything to them. Anastasia wanted to have children in an environment where they would be protected, safe and treasured as they should be. Lately she just felt like she was at the end of the chain begging for answers.
Anyone that had met Ana since her arrival to the Lore would know that she is always an optimistic, caring young woman who could never be anything less than happy. However, after splitting away from Reaper with Lachesis she felt heartbroken. She had felt like she had done Lachesis an injustice by bringing him there only to upset him. That had been the last thing she wanted to do and it scared her. At night she would stay up late feeling the urge to cry, to pout and to run; but the tiny sleeping bodies that she looked after daily always appeared in her mind. They were partially here responsibility now and she would never leave a child behind.
Today, just around dusk, Anastasia lingered around Dragonfly Fen collecting the last few bits of colors in the partly cloudy sunset that she could. Her heart beat within her chest as she gazed after it, wondering if the Sun ever got tired of chasing the same old dream across the sky each day. Ana felt her relationship with her best friend was shattering, something unexpected. He had Capella now, who for the moment was a better option to be with since Ana spent a lot of time looking after Karpos and Adsila. Though she loved being with them, there was a thick wall between her and XIX because of their last few hours in Heartleaf Creek.
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RE: i raise my flags - Lachesis - Jun 23, 2013
[dohtml] :c poor Ana <3
The move to Spectral Woods had been precisely what the boy had wanted after his first encounter with the yellow-eyed yearling that had helped him find his way out. At first, he had not spoken to his companion about how he had felt about the possibility of making a home within the Woods. His first priority was to ensure that Anastasia was happy – if she wasn’t, then he was doing something wrong. What she wanted was far more important to him than his own desires, even if it meant being separated from his new friend. XIX adored the dove in a way that was impossible to explain; they had crossed paths when they had both needed each other the most and had become inseparable since (aside from scouting missions within Relic Lore). She was his confidant and had guided him through his transition from life on the reserve to real life. Without her lessons the boy knew that he would not have survived long among feral wolves – he was still shocked that he had left the encounter with the black fae unscathed.
The trek after their meeting with Reaper to the Woods had been an awkward one, with few words being spoken between the two wolves. His blue-eyed companion did not see what XIX saw in the fiery-eyed loner – there was something hidden beneath his words, something that left an unsettling feeling rotting away within Lachesis’ gut. He was unsure of whether Ana was satisfied with their decision to join Capella’s pack, and since they had been accepted he had barely seen her due to her important role. When they had arrived at the edge of the Woods, Shade had explained to them that his former mate had left him and his two pups behind – since Anastasia was at the age where she could tend to their needs, the chocolate Alpha had asked for her help in a desperate attempt. While he was out scouting (or with Capella), Ana was often held up in the den taking care of the puppies. Whenever he did stop by to visit, their time together was limited and the elephant in the room was growing at an alarming pace.
Deep in thought, Lachesis eventually found himself just south of the Woods, the fen offering a pleasant solace to the misty forest that had cloaked his snowy pelt. Unknowingly, he had been following the blue-eyed girl’s scent while being bombarded by his thoughts. It was when her scent grew stronger that the boy finally stopped, brows narrowing as he glanced around for his friend. After a few quick sniffs XIX could tell that she was alone; for a moment, he had worried that she was meeting up with Reaper to give him the good news about their acceptance into the small pack. With quick, long strides the ghost caught up to his friend, a smile breaking across his maw as he plopped himself down next to her. He did not break the silence, and instead nuzzled against her neck to express that he was happy to see her. They had gone from spending almost all of their time together to being separated frequently; due to this, Lachesis constantly felt as though something was missing.
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RE: i raise my flags - Anastasia - Jun 23, 2013
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she's sitting watching the sunset ^^
The mind was a painfully obnoxious host when it chose to be, racking up her thoughts and spilling them wherever it felt a jab. But what was she to do in this situation? Anastasia was intrigued by Reaper’s suggestion, mesmerized that he wanted her to possibly be a leader next to him … perhaps a little too excited that he wanted her. She knew that XIX and her shared a very special bond, but she constantly talked herself down. Telling herself that he was young, he would want someone like Capella to crush on. She was just a semi-guardian, a mentor, a watchful eye and a best friend, the possibility of more was heavy and highly unlikely.
Right? At least she thought so…
The change of the wind brought forth a raised head, her fine-tipped ears sprouting atop her head as she gazed around the hillock in which she sat. It was the male whose ears must have been burning, for her thoughts weighed heavily upon him. The ghostly yearling: the one that always managed to snake his way into her mind and cloud her with excitement. With his scent getting stronger and her eyes still not finding him, she turned her position slightly towards it and finally caught him. Walking right up to her without hesitation, as if the meeting with Reaper had never happened, and nuzzled her neck peacefully.
It was then that the electrifying jolts began coursing their way through her body, forcing her to lose train of thought and perhaps also her balance. What was she supposed to say? What should she say? “You keeping Capella out of t-trouble?” Oh no. Her heart shook, feeling the weight of it all fall back to her as she began to ponder about their future. No, it came down to her future. Anastasia wanted to see Reaper’s organization, to see herself being something amazing… but taking care of Shade’s children had brought something to her that shook her very core. She finally had a sense of belonging, having a distinctive role within a pack that she wasn’t forced into. It hadn’t been expected of her, but rather desperately asked of her.
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RE: i raise my flags - Lachesis - Jun 24, 2013
[dohtml]editted it! :x
Lachesis wasn’t sure how to grasp what had happened during their meeting with Reaper – something had shifted between them, and the boy could not figure out what it was. It felt as though something was off-balance, that there was something missing, and it was creating a deep hole within his chest. He desperately wanted things to back to as they were – everything felt wrong and he didn’t like it. XIX could sense that his friend was not happy, and knowing she was troubled did not sit well with the ghostly yearling. The connection between the two wolves was stronger than he had ever felt with another, and it affected Lach deeply knowing that he had something to do with how she was feeling. If he had just smiled and accepted the large Arctic’s offer everything would be fine – he and Ana would be patiently awaiting Reaper’s instructions and would both be happy. That’s all he wanted, was for her to be happy; his happiness always came second.
Her words had struck him as odd and the boy leaned away from her as soon as they dropped from her tongue. Although the comment was peculiar, it was justified – Lachesis had also been a victim of jealousy, the emotion burning deep within his gut during the meeting with Reaper. A frown had made its way onto his maw as he clenched his jaws, ears falling back against his skull. He desperately wanted to fix things, but he didn’t know how; didn’t know what to say, what to do… he was confused, and without Anastasia clearing the fog out of his head the boy felt as though he was drowning.
<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#446819;">“S-sort of,” he finally mumbled, pear gaze focused on the sun as it fell behind the horizon, the hole in his chest tightening. XIX felt guilty that he had been spending so much time with the yellow-eyed wolf since they had arrived, but he had not wanted to disturb the puppies while Anastasia was tending to them. They were her first priority right now, and as much as the yearling wanted to see his friend, the two fluffs of life demanded all of her attention. With a sigh falling past his lips, the boy rested his cheek against her shoulder, eyes closed for a moment. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#446819;">“I m-miss you.”
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RE: i raise my flags - Anastasia - Jun 24, 2013
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While she always loved to be around Karpos and Adsila, she also could not help but feel like she was missing out sometimes. She wasn’t kept there all the time but she did focus a lot of it there, they needed her. However, she couldn’t really shake the fact that she desperately needed Lachesis. Their bond had always been strong, and it still felt strong, but there was a rift between them that just needed a couple bandages. It just needed a couple patches and it would be right again. Ana just needed to figure out how to do it; how could she make sure that all was right between them?
Reaper offered her wonderful things. Things that Anastasia had never seen in her future, it excited her and brought her to life. Deep down she knew that there were two different paths she could take now. Ana could follow Reaper to his new pack (assuming that XIX would not follow) and would kept as much contact with Lach as possible, whilst becoming a leader beside Reaper. Perhaps ultimately feeling that she would be the Alpha Female, thus providing children to adore that were here own. That was the ultimate treasure that she wanted, a well-respected male that took care of her with adoration and strength. It would provide her with the opportunity to do anything that she wanted to, as well as bringing forth children into the world that she could call her own.
Then there was her second path. The path that included this new pack—the one Shade told her of: Firefly Trail. It sounded so lovely, so mystifying… she had begun to wonder if she would end up here. If she would have to tell Reaper that she enjoyed it too much, that taking care of these two children had brought her closer to realizing what she wanted was closer than she had expected. Lachesis was here, someone she didn’t want to leave. She loved him, wanted to be with him—as he was always on her mind regardless of her surroundings or plans. Certain chain of events could always prevent her from continuing the course that she was on not too long ago, it all depended on chance.
As he spoke she was pulled from her emotions, wading in the sweet voice of her XIX. He had pulled always from her some time ago but she had held steady in her balance. Ana desired to be with him, perhaps so much so that she wanted to always be there. Capella was a lovely girl, one that Anastasia liked and adored, but she couldn’t help but feel a sense of protectiveness rise over her. The lithe woman didn’t want to have the slightest thought that there was a hint of a possibility that she might be replaced.
Feeling her eyes softened as they gazed up to Lachesis, not challenging but with a twinkling accent, she spoke. “I miss you every minute,” she finally managed to whisper as she put her muzzle underneath his. She knew that they could get past this, it would take time and communication. Ana might not appreciate talking about it, as it seemed to upset him, but she knew it would be for good reason.
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RE: i raise my flags - Lachesis - Jun 24, 2013
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Lachesis often wondered what he would be like if he had remained on the reserve with his family – as much as he tried to push his former life out of his mind, he still missed his family. His blue-eyed companion had stumbled into his life just when he needed her – she was stability and offered protection. Whether they were talking or in complete silence, he was comfortable around her. The bond between them had developed gradually over time, as it had taken the nervous yearling weeks to be able to confide in her. Once that seal was broken secrets were tossed back and forth, their bond only strengthening as they spent more time together. She played an important role in his life, whether she remained with Shade’s pack or left for Reaper, they would always be together in a sense. Of course, he would prefer it if she stayed because XIX knew that he would not follow her into Reaper’s organization – unless he felt as though she was in immediate danger, the boy would stay with Shade and Capella. They were his family now, along with Anastasia, and the boy could not abandon them either.
There was a piece missing in their jigsaw puzzle – every appeared fine from the outside, but something did not feel right. The boy had never been in a situation like this before; therefore, he did not know what was required to fix it. XIX just wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be. Fixing the wound in their relationship was the yearling’s primary focus – he felt as though he was slowly losing her, and if he wasn’t there Lachesis knew that she would run into the paws of Reaper. The boy had to prevent that; he had to fix what was broken and had to make her happy once more. Everything needed to go back to normal, it just had to. Simply thinking about losing his closest friend made his heart ache, but he wasn’t good at this sort of thing. He wasn’t good at anything… Anastasia was the one who had all the answers, who knew how to fix things. Lachesis was still a burden; a child; he would always be that way.
Her words snapped him back, eyes finding their way up to meet her cerulean gaze. A faint, lop-sided smile managed to work its way onto his maw as he wrapped his tail around her, paws shuffling to bring himself closer to her warmth. He loved and cared for her in a way that made his heart ache, and he wanted nothing more than to protect her and keep her safe. He knew, in his lanky state, it was almost impossible for him to do just that – Reaper would do a much better job at that. He was far more capable of ensuring that she was taken care of; there was only so much XIX could do for her, and it would never be enough.
The boy remained quiet, as he wasn’t sure what to say; he never was. His stutter constantly got in the way, and he was never able to articulate well enough to get his feelings across. Words muddled together, overlapping and often causing problems to arise; Anastasia always knew what to say… They were ying and yang, complete opposites but absolutely perfect for each other. Her strengths made up for his weaknesses, and vice versa. They were the dynamic duo, forever inseparable.
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RE: i raise my flags - Anastasia - Jun 24, 2013
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Anastasia knew how her life would be if she had stayed where she was born. With time she would have likely given in to her society’s traditions, being told that she couldn’t do anything besides what she had put on the earth to do. At least, through the eyes of those in the pack. She just could not begin to understand why the women there were content with being treated the way they were. It wasn’t right. Perhaps in her time staying with Shade and his family she would come to realize that Reaper’s organization and her old pack were not very different from one another, except that she had been separated by gender and in the organization they would all be separated by breed. In time, she would see.
Right now she simply wished to be of help to Shade, keep Lachesis close, and keep the kids well-fed. That was their ultimate goal, just to be content with everyone and everything that they had. The kids made her yearn for a family of her own (also a little irk that Rosealie left two beautiful children behind and a mate who likely loved each of them with his whole heart) but she knew in time that things would come. Lachesis was as close to family as she would be, right now. His warmth beside her was enough for her to stay calm and collecting, relishing in his proximity. They would fix all things, because they were as close as anyone could be without being one whole.
It took a bit of time but she realized that he was a loss for words and while she wasn’t uncomfortable in the silence, she knew there was more to talk about. After building up her courage to speak she finally spoke with a heavy heart, “I apologize… I… I’m just really confused.” It was all she could come up with as she didn’t know the right or wrong thing but she knew that it was rough. The organization that Reaper was planning didn’t seem to sit well on her friends shoulders and she would in no way force him to take part in something he didn’t want to, but she also didn’t want to be anywhere without him. Perhaps even what she had said hadn’t come out the correct way, but she really didn’t know how to begin.
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RE: i raise my flags - Lachesis - Jun 26, 2013
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He didn’t know how to fix things – Lachesis typically avoided conflict as he didn’t like being stuck in the middle of them. The boy usually waited for things to work out on their own or avoided the problem completely. However, in this case Anastasia was far too important for him to just ignore the issue; they needed to mend whatever had broken during their meeting with Reaper even if he just wanted to pretend that nothing had happened. He wasn’t even sure what had happened, XIX just knew that things were different between them and it scared the youth. He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost the blue-eyed girl – since leaving his family behind on the Reserve, she was the closest thing he had to a real family. They were two peas in a pod and nothing could ever break the bond that the duo shared.
They both had qualities of a dilly but complimented each other perfectly; their relationship was unique, and one that Lachesis treasured more than anything. Anastasia was the yearling’s closest friend, but she also had been (and still was) his mentor – when they had crossed paths XIX had been confused and unsure of himself, but with her help he had grown more confident and was capable of handling himself on his own. If it had not been for her guidance, he would not have survived in Relic Lore alone.
<b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#446819;">“I’m s-sorry…” he muttered quietly, his pear-coloured eyes focused on his forepaws as he avoided meeting her gaze. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#446819;">“I-I just d-don’t know, Ana,” he started lamely, unsure of what to say. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#446819;">“I w-want you t-to be happy, b-but…” he paused, swallowing hard before continuing. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#446819;">“I-I don’t t-trust him. S-something doesn’t f-f-feel right.” His stuttered had returned with a vengeance, impaling his words as they struggled to drop from his tongue, shoulders hunched as he bowed his head. Lachesis felt awful for admitting it, but it was something that needed to be said – XIX didn’t like keeping secrets from her. It was her who had told him that friends shared, and he needed to share his thoughts with her in order to keep this friendship afloat.
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RE: i raise my flags - Anastasia - Jun 27, 2013
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my cat chooses the worst times to be talkative.
Anastasia knew very little about fixing things with others. Sure, she had the courage that some didn’t to make changes in her life but she knew how to take physical action (sometimes) but when it came to speaking verbally she wasn’t sure if she could handle it. Already she could feel her nerves shaking in anticipation for what she wanted to say to XIX. It would either remake their friendship or break it, because she knew she didn’t have all the answers to give him. All she did know was that she loved Lachesis, deeply and devotedly.
As surprising as it had been to her, she had realized a very important factor on her walk down to the Woods with him to meet Shade—she loved him. Truly loved Lachesis, she thought to herself. Reaper had certainly made her feel protected and cherished, but love? No, she didn’t feel it like she felt it with Nineteen. The mere sight of him brought her warmth, a certain cherished and devoted feeling that she couldn’t express to anyone else. That was why his relationship with Capella burned at her walls. Anastasia wanted him to be happy, just as she was sure he wanted the same for her, but if the creamy she-wolf made him happy then Ana didn’t want to get in the way. Capella was younger, around his age—Ana surmised, feeling as though XIX likely saw her as a best friend or a mother-figure so unconditional love that Ana looked for might seem far-fetched.
“I know,” she answered meekly. Deep down she knew that there was likely something not to trust but Reaper had given her no red flags (not yet, he was still trusted in her eyes as he had done nothing to harm her). “Being here will help me make my decision,” and perhaps he would be a great factor in her timely decision because as far as she understood Reaper’s plan was going to take ample amount of time.
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RE: i raise my flags - Lachesis - Jun 28, 2013
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A life without Anastasia was not a life that he wanted to live – she was everything to him. In the short time that they had known each other the duo had developed a lifetime’s worth of memories together (and were still going strong). The idea of losing her, especially to another male, terrified the young boy. He knew it was going to happen eventually; as much as he loved her and cared for her, eventually he would have to allow her to follow her heart. If that meant leaving him to join another pack – in this case some weird ‘organization’ – than he wouldn’t object. XIX had already unintentionally forced the female to put off joining a pack so she could give him lessons on how to be a better wolf (to put it bluntly). He had been nothing but a burden to her and, due to her pure heart; she had taken him under her wing. When they had first stumbled into each other’s lives, Anastasia could have left him, scared and alone, to fend for himself. Instead, she had encouraged him to travel alongside her, and their unbreakable bond had started almost instantly.
As much as he wanted to happy, that wasn’t important with Anastasia around – she always came first and it would always be that way. Her happiness was linked to his own (as was Capella’s) and it wasn’t difficult for the yearling to tell if there was something bothering her. A half smile sauntered onto his dark lips, ears pinned to the back of his skull as he turned his gaze down to his large forepaws. <b style="font-family:georgia; font-size:12px; color:#446819;">“I w-want you t-to do what’s b-best for you…” he murmured, almost half to himself as he folded his legs beneath his body as he flopped down to the ground. He didn’t know what to say, what to do… XIX was good at being silly and irresponsible, not serious. He was also exceptionally good at being awkward and anxious, not thoughtful or stern. Anastasia was the queen – regal, beautiful, and kind – whilst the pear-eyed boy was nothing but a jester, mistakes following him wherever he went.
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