Running was a mistake.

It was the absolute worst invention in the whole entire world and Cottongrass sure hoped that the first wolf to ever run knew that. His everything hurt! From his paws to even his tail because he was very dramatic like that. Yet he refused to stop or even slow down his breakneck pace. He couldn't! Not when the scent of Askan was growing stronger with each passing second and his excitement only grew.

Because he spent the last month in absolute hell. The mountainous forests of the west had turned against him even though he once considered the region a second home. Apparently the sentiment wasn't mutual. How was he supposed to know that?! If he knew that he probably never would have wandered out there in a fit of self-pitying nostalgia in the first place. And he probably wouldn't have found Rayza but he tried not to think too much about the possibilities that came with that idea. He was determined to find and help the kid even if he didn't really understand his own reasoning.

But those were thoughts for later.

Thoughts for when he wasn't running like a madmen after the scent trail of one Askan Selwyn. And he still didn't believe what Reyes had told him moments before. About leaving Wild Rye Fields and all the other stuff that followed. Except it quickly turned out none of those worries mattered. Not when he crossed the fiery treeline into a meadow of dying grass and spotted the man he was looking for.

"Hey, hey, hey!" He barked. His yellow eyes shined and his jaws fell into a grin that was as happy as it was exhausted. He found the energy inside of himself to give one last crazed sprint forward and closed the gap between them. "Askan!" He called out. It was the last thing he said before colliding into a stocky frame covered in dark brown fur. They could worry about personal space later! Like when Cottongrass didn't have the serious need to lick and nuzzle the hell out of his best friend.

He had missed him.

He didn't let up his loving assault until Askan pushed him away. And even then he managed to sneak in a few extra adoring licks before pulling himself back. He just couldn't stop himself! Askan was one of his best friends. He just might have even been one of his most favourite wolves in the whole entire world and that was a coveted title shared only with Reyes. Saying Cottongrass was excited to be reunited with Askan was a gross understatement. Especially when his tail wouldn't stop wagging like crazy and his cheeks hurt from smiling. He didn't even know that was possible until just then!

His emotions only intensified when Askan finally spoke.

"I got lost!" Cottongrass blurted out before he could stop himself. And that was the truth. He went and got himself turned around in the middle of nowhere and spent a whole entire month finding his way back. But he was pretty sure that nobody could blame him. He grew up in the open tundra where the most exciting landmark he ever saw was a particularly big hill. There was no way anybody could fault him for getting himself more than a little lost in a region full of thick forest and mountains. Not even Askan! Speaking of which —

"And you're not allowed to make fun of me!" Cottongrass added on for good measure. Because he saw the way those yellow eyes seemed to glow and shine and he wasn't having it. Especially when he just finished showering the man with his sheer love and adoration. He would bite him! It would be the world's softest bite and nothing like the one he gave Aytigin but a bite nonetheless. Somewhere behind him his fluffy rear end gave a petulant wiggle to punctuate his very threatening and intimidating point. He even puffed up like a very angry little owl for the sheer theatrics of it.

Except he couldn't bring himself to be upset for long. Not when he was practically floating on cloud nine without a care in the world. Because Reyes told him about the plan and he loved it. Which reminded him!

"Reyes —" He stuttered. "Reyes told me everything." His head bobbed along to his words like he understood everything perfectly. It was the best idea ever! Something that only smart wolves like Askan and Reyes would be able to make up together. And it was only then did his sunny mood falter. His smile faded and his brow furrowed. He took a step back.

"You're —" He started only to immediately falter. "You're okay with me coming, right?" And he knew Reyes invited him along but suddenly he wasn't sure if the man had actually meant it. What if he was just being nice? It wouldn't be the first time someone made plans only to leave him behind. His parents did that a lot. Even his ataatatsiaq did it more than a few times. But Askan and Reyes wouldn't do that to him... Right? He mustered up a weak smile.

Askan was the best. There was no doubt about it and Cottongrass was pretty sure he could talk about the many different amazing qualities of the man before him until the sun disappeared behind the horizon and even then some. Would that be weird? He felt like it was a weird thought for him to have about someone he considered a friend but at the same time he didn't care. Not when Askan had brushed away his worries with nothing more than a few teasing words and the briefest of nose boops.

"Okay." He mumbled. And he didn't know what he ever did to deserve such nice friends in his life but man, he was beyond grateful for them. His tail wagged like crazy through the cold air and his jaws parted in a goofy smile. "I just—" He glanced at Askan only to glance away moments later. Like he wasn't sure if what he was about to explain was even worth saying. But they were friends. He decided to go for it.

"I just wasn't sure if it was a, uh, Askan and Reyes thing, or a — or a friend thing. You know?" Did that make sense? He felt like it made sense in his head but his words usually made a mess of things. It probably didn't matter. Not when he was just so happy to be reunited with his friends. His insecurities could rear their many ugly heads later. Like when he figured out what he was doing with Rayza and when they had finally all settled down somewhere nice and safe. And speaking of Rayza —

"Oh!" He barked. His yellow eyes flashed as he remembered something else that had been swimming around in his thoughts all day. "I gotta tell you something." Cottongrass chirped. "It's very important." He added on for good measure with a very profound shake of his head. His rear end gave a happy wiggle and he waited for Askan to give him the reaction he was waiting for. Which was the okay for him to probably spend the next few minutes rambling away and getting distracted before finally getting to his point.

It was something he would probably end up doing even if Askan tried to walk away from the conversation but Cottongrass was still proud of himself. He was self aware! He knew what he was doing! And him getting lost for a month probably went against that very point but he pretended none of that ever happened. It was officially a part of the past. That meant nobody could make fun or him for it or even acknowledge what happened. It was in the rules somewhere about life and friendship.

He would know because he made up the rules in the first place.

Was Askan making fun of him? He couldn't tell. Not even when he squinted his yellow eyes and cocked his head to one side because maybe if he looked at Askan from just the right angle everything about the situation would just magically become clear. Nothing happened. He was pretty sure his instincts lied to him. Maybe it was already time for him to move onto his second plan of convincing Askan that his news was serious and important.

"I'm serious." He chirped because that was it. That was his amazing backup plan and he sure hoped it worked or else everything he was about to say would just be really awkward for the both of them. He punctuated his point with an energetic butt wiggle. Because the one thing he knew from experience was that wolves usually listened when he acted like a very upset puppy. He was even ready to pull out the big guns which meant stamping his feet and whimpering. Let it be known that there was no level too low for Cottongrass when it came down to getting his way. But he was getting distracted.

"I uh—" He was already floundering. This might have been a new record. "I gotta go away for a few days." He finally managed to spit out. What followed next could be best described as backtracking because he wasn't very brave in these kind of moments. "And only for a few days! I won't — I won't disappear like I did last time. And if you really don't want me to go I'll listen and stay with you guys!" That was probably a lie. He wasn't going to stick around with Askan and Reyes while his good conscious ate him from the inside out. But Askan hopefully didn't know that.

"It's just that I, uh, I met someone while I was lost and I promised to help him, you know?" He didn't even know where Rayza was but that's why he needed to disappear for a few days. His plan was that he would beeline it to the forest he got lost in and follow his trail back hopefully with the man in tow. He could figure the rest out later if Askan didn't crush his dreams then and there. His tail gave a nervous wag and he looked at the man before him with hopeful eyes.

Just think for a minute Cotton.

The moment the words left Askan's mouth Cottongrass flinched. His ears rolled back against his skull and he tried to make himself smaller than he actually was. It didn't work. Not even when he tucked his tail between his legs and averted his gaze. Because he knew that certain tone of voice. The one that pretended to be patient and polite but he could hear the words underneath. He was being dumb. Askan knew it. The whole entire world probably knew it and he could feel something red hot and shameful bubbling just beneath the skin.

"I just thought —" He was trying to be nice. Especially when Rayza seemed younger than him and he knew it wasn't easy to be on your own as a yearling. But the words clogged in his throat. They choked him and he had so much more to say but he couldn't. Not when he knew that if he continued speaking Askan would probably tell him that he was making excuses. That he was acting childish and he couldn't keep acting like this. He was supposed to be better than that. Those kind of days were supposed to be past him. But apparently not. Not when he acted like some kind of dumb little puppy that didn't know better. And in that moment he wanted to disappear. Or maybe he could roll onto his back and start grovelling because that usually worked in these kinds of situations. But he got the feeling that Askan wouldn't like any of those options and he was left feeling frustrated.

"'m sorry." He finally mumbled with averted eyes. And he got the sensation that Askan was excusing him but he didn't know if he was supposed to take it or not. He settled for staying where he stood, awkwardly crouched and doing everything he could to make himself smaller than the other man.