burn my lungs and curse my eyes
As the days passed, Aesire found that she had little energy to do much of anything but that would not stop her from rising each morning. Her stomach had started to swell with the life that was growing inside of her - the life that they had created together. This was the life that had brought so much controversy but it wasn't just that. Someone else's scent had been changing. Aesire had only briefly caught it on the wind but that was when she realized that Phineas had taken a lover, maybe a mate, of his own. She was so torn and confused but she hid all of these expressions behind a hardened face as she forced her way out of the den. The morning sun was rising out in front of her and she closed her eyes. How was so supposed to lead a pack if she had little support. Her own cousin had vanished, probably seeing the terrible job she had done. Ace was there as always but was he enough? Sometimes, she doubted it. She did not doubt his ability, just her own willpower to remain at the top. Slowly, Aesire was cracking.
Her peppered creme fur blew softly in the new spring wind as she reminded herself of why she had to remain strong. She was soon going to deliver her children and she would have to raise them. It was her responsibility as an alpha and a mother to raise them to be better than she was. Slowly she would walk on sore legs towards the edges of the territory though she would not get too close. She recounted everything significant that she had done since arriving in the Plateau and came up short with only two answers. She had fought off that lynx with Phineas and she had taken the crown for herself in a fight. It was probably just the hormones talking back to her but she became incredibly frustrated, hissing to herself as she tried to understand and comprehend everything. Why did Phineas do the things he do: making them fight for leadership and then becoming mad when she did her duty? Why was he so suspicious? Why was the rest of the pack not willing to see that she wasn't as bad as so many others wanted her to be? She felt cornered, trapped, and blissfully unaware of the fact that her emotions were pushing unstable.