Bramble Falls your crown of thorns

The mottled wolf hesitated, unsure if she should share anything more with this wolf. Her throat closed a bit, and she cleared it before speaking, "I wish I had. More than anything." She had a feeling that she would regret leaving in the middle of the night, even if the alternative was that she probably never would have left if she had spoken to her father about it. From the way the white boy had asked, Cas assumed that he would be very critical of her answer, so she decided to speak up again. "I know that makes me seem like a terrible person, and maybe I am. But before you judge me, understand that you don't know the circumstances behind what I did. You can't." She had raised her head a bit, challenging him, in a way. She couldn't help but be defensive about her decision to get out of the cage and leave her father behind. He'd wanted to stay. His mate had wanted to stay. Cas had not. She couldn't have died in that dirty, stinking, disgusting pen, knowing that she'd done nothing with her life at all by the end of it. Sure, it might have been selfish. Sure, it might have been stupid. But it was her decision, and she couldn't change it. now. Not now that she had found the Lore and understood that she couldn't go back anymore. She didn't want to. But she wished she'd said goodbye.

She answered in the negative. His gaze drifted and his ears sunk down. Why had he even bothered to engage her? It was a particularly pathetic day for the boy, and of course he should have known that accepting someone's company would only make it worse. That she regretted the choice didn't much matter. Piety regretted leaving altogether, but she still wasn't here. Reasons, no matter how convoluted, didn't make the pain of being left behind and in the dark any different.

And that was where he had always struggled. He simply couldn't understand the other side of things, what it was like to be the one to walk away, what could justify knowing you were cutting up someone else's heart. Whether or not there existed a giant set of scales balancing it all out, a possibility for vanishing from the life of someone you love to land on the side of rectitude if enough reasons could tip balance, all he was left with was anger.

It simmered underneath his skin now, but it stayed hidden within him. She didn't deserve to feel that bite, he wasn't the one she had wronged. He needed to just clench his fangs, and walk away.

He wasn't completely successful.

"There's always an excuse," he retorted bitterly.

"They only make you feel better."

Something about the way this boy was speaking to her was really and truly pissing Cas off. The fact that her leg was throbbing and aching from her stumble helped nothing, and before she knew it, her fur was fluffing out along her spine and her hackles were raised. "Who the hell asked you?" she demanded, feeling that damn lump rise up in her throat again, frustration and anger and sorrow building into one outburst. "You know nothing - nothing - about me, so don't act like you do. You haven't lived your life in a damn cage. You can't possibly know what I-" she cut herself off, biting her tongue. The white wolf had done nothing to warrant her tantrum, and she sighed deeply through her nose to remedy her temper. The russet-and-gray female turned her back toward him and limped up the bank, away from the water. "Sorry. I get really pissy when I'm not feeling my best," she explained, flattening her ears in shame. "You don't deserve to be yelled at. You're entitled to your opinion." He certainly was, and Cas didn't care to be judged. She really didn't. She chalked her most recent outburst up to the pain radiating from her poor leg; she should probably get off of it soon.

(This post was last modified: Jan 16, 2017, 10:01 PM by Castel.)

He'd ignited her own flame, which wasn't surprising. What had been said was pretty inflammatory, and anyways, a creature that expressive wouldn't be serene. Seeing her hackles raise, Sven's own began to climb. His pale gaze flashed to meet her electric baby blues and his black lips curled upward with a toothy snarl.

No, he certainly couldn't know what she had been through, nor what she was currently going through. In his world, many of the things in her life didn't even exist. The word cage was expressive, Sven didn't know that metal bars existed, how closed in one could truly be. He didn't know of animals more powerful than wolves, didn't know the disease attacking her blood cells and decomposing her body while she still breathed. Couldn't feel the sickness like she could.

If he did? It was possible his thoughts on the matter still wouldn't change. Saying goodbye, it was so easy. He said it to @Elettra and Attica every time he broke away from the pack to seek time on his own outside of the Willows. Simple words that could save so much pain and yet nobody wanted to use them, and Sven was convinced it was because they were too selfish.

Yet she interrupted herself, calming and retreating. The limp was noticed (had she hurt herself so badly with that leap?), but it didn't hold his attention like the way she had just completely reversed what he'd been certain was a volcanic eruption. She just... stuffed it back down. Got over it. Apologised even, and Sven was floored.

It showed as his features slacked, moonlit eyes widening as they watched her. Pissy because she was hurt? No, that wasn't it, was it? They'd been treading scorched earth, he'd questioned her very rectitude, and yet...

Sven took a single step forward. He wanted to fight about this, dammit, because his own anger hadn't receded. It never receded, and he couldn't comprehend how she had such effortless control over hers. All she was going to do was run off if he pressed it though. That seemed to be how it always went. He never got answers.

After some internal grumbling, and grappling over how to precede, he finally exhaled, the cloud hanging thickly in the air before dissipating.

"What's wrong with your leg? Did you sprain it?"

Yes, Cas had a temper, but it was one that flared in short bursts and was usually overcome by her desire to keep the company of whomever she was with. It took a moment, but she did come to remember that the wolves around here probably had never and would never know what a cage was. That was a beautiful, wonderful thing that it wasn't something they would ever need to be concerned over. Cas was grateful on their behalf. She could tell the white male was still angry. She didn't know exactly what she'd done to ruffle his fur, but oh boy had she ruffled it. Leaving her father behind had been the first selfish thing she had done in her life - and yes, it had been selfish. She would readily admit to that. But she had no idea why on earth this boy seemed so concerned with what she'd done in her personal life. Not that it really mattered. Wasn't like she'd ever see him again, anyway. Probably. She put her weight down on her left foreleg to test it and inhaled a shaky breath through her teeth when pain shot up like lightning, from her paw to her shoulder. Her eyes burned, but she chased away the feeling of tears. There was no reason to cry about a little pain. She was tougher than that... but that didn't change the fact that it still hurt. Badly. She angled her ears backward, turning to face her volatile companion with a small smile when he dropped the anger and inquired about her leg. "I didn't sprain it," she told him truthfully, unable to mask the slight wobble at the end of her sentence that betrayed her pain on a physical and emotional level. "It's just... useless." That time, however, her voice was filled with venom directed inward, at her own body that didn't even know how to live right. She hated it.

He watched her test it, a soft frown forming his mouth into angles. What on earth had she done to it? Not sprained, she'd confirmed, but the pain seemed to be increasing and he couldn't see her getting anywhere far on it. Where would she go, anyways? She was alone. A choice she'd made on her own, but... it was odd. She was his age, seemed even younger with her frail stature. He felt compelled simultaneously to judge her harshly and support her. For the former, he truly should have more information. Even Sven could see that.

So he acted on the latter impulse. The one that a good wolf would.

"It wasn't so useless just a little bit ago," he tried, taking one more tentative step toward her.

"Y'know, my Nonna could probably help. At least, take the pain away? I don't... I don't think you should be alone while its hurting you like that."

Oh, no. That wouldn't end well - the whole thing with whomever this 'Nonna' character was. She was fairly certain that going with the white wolf would mean that she'd be meeting with his pack, and that was not a good idea at all. She shifted her weight from paw to paw, excluding the injured one, and glanced up at the boy who no longer seemed hostile toward her. She sighed through her nose and shook her head. "There's not anything your Nonna can do to help me," she told him truthfully - if the humans hadn't been able to fix her, then a wolf certainly would have no idea. Humans had these machines and medicines and strange rooms with metal tables on them to look at the patients. Wolves didn't have any of that. She wagged her tail, and, in an attempt to be cheerful in the face of disaster, said, "I drew the short straw in life. Some people just get the bad end of the deal, and I guess I'm one of them." She stretched, wincing a bit as she finally put some more weight on her aching leg. But she was determined to push past it; to prove to this boy that she was not some weak girl who needed help and protecting. No, she could take care of herself... relatively speaking.

Sven couldn't help tilting his head to the side in his lack of understanding as she immediately shot down his offer. Nothing they could do to help? Hadn't he just said they could manage the pain? Did she not believe him, not trust him after he'd gotten sour with her maybe? Or would she truly just rather suffer it alone? She went on, and he absolutely had no idea what she was getting at. It was difficult for a wolf of Sven's mentality to stretch his patience so far, to not jump to conclusions and assumptions. It was clear in his eyes that he was trying to understand.

"I mean. Yeah that sucks but at least you can still get around. You should really... be with a pack, you clearly don't eat well," was that rude? Whatever, it was the truth. He didn't understand why she would leave her pack if she had a bum leg. Even if she hadn't realized the hardship she would face, now that she was living it, shouldn't she have changed her mind? If not gone back home, joined up with another band of wolves? Maybe her brain was lame too.

"Why would you rather be alone, starving out here?"

Cas really appreciated that he was trying to understand, and she smiled softly at his next statement. "I probably should be with a pack," she responded, shifting her weight back to her hurting leg and feeling proud when it supported her well. "But I'm a stubborn ass who likes to do things on her own," she finished up brightly, tail waving back and forth behind her as she met Sven's eyes.

"I like being alone," she informed him seriously. "There's nothing trying me to a place, and I don't have to depend on others for help. I don't have to be a burden if nobody has to worry about me."

She turned, beginning to trek her way back up the bank. "You're a sweet wolf, Sven, and I do appreciate your offer, but I wouldn't want to impose on you or your pack when I have nothing to give in return."

As much as he tried, Sven found that he simply could not understand this girl. Everything she said just confused him more, and his ears leaned back as he gave in to the fact that they would not have any further common ground. The idea of her being a burden was utterly foreign, as he'd never thought of any of his pack mates as such. She didn't seem completely incapable, it wasn't like she'd just be lying around with her mouth open waiting to be fed like a baby bird. Right?

She turned to take her leave, and a sigh fell from his lips. Alright, whatever, he wouldn't manage his good deed for the day. He supposed that was just as well, maybe she could meander on with her strangeness to find someone that would actually understand her. The teenager angled to head his own way, when she threw back a few more words for him.

Sweet? After they'd nearly gotten into an argument, she thought him sweet? His surprise widened his eyes as they glanced back at her, disbelief clear. Well, alright then...

"Um... thanks," he tried hard not to let the word turn up at its tail and sound like a question. "I... hope you get somewhere good."

Whatever in the heck that would be for a wolf like her. He pressed a small smile onto his muzzle to show that he meant it, and then took off. He didn't feel like being confused nor politely rejected any further today.