Turtleback Lake i dare not hope

Although she didn’t regret her decision to venture here and see Reika, the ghost could only take so much of the forest. It felt claustrophobic and cramped, which only further hindered her already reduced abilities. There were times, lingering in it, she swore it felt harder to breathe, even though that made no sense and couldn’t possibly be anything other than nerves.

Yet, it was a blessing when she finally reached the shores of the lake. The ghost huffed out a giant sigh of relief, going so far as to wander down to the shoreline and plant her front paws in the icy water. Casting her one-eyed gaze slowly across the landscape, Cole noted this place was vastly different compared to how she remembered it, with winter setting in and a lot of the water now returned to the lake since the termination of the drought. That was a blessing, and from a purely objective standpoint, Colette could see why some might want to reside here.

Why it would appeal to Reika or her other companions. It had most of what they needed. Who knew, maybe if she stayed long enough, even she could find the place tolerable. If it hadn’t been for one glaring issue.

Flair and Chan’s children were buried somewhere around here. She didn’t know quite where and didn’t want to. Even so, that was one memory and ordeal Colette wasn’t sure she could put aside. Along with always wondering whether it’d been her presence that’d cursed them and brought doom upon their family as some kind of twisted form of justice.

As horrible as wandering alone was, it would be worse if the others ended up suffering even further because of her continued presence amongst them.

@Flair when you've got time

Flair didn’t know where her children were buried. After her miscarriage, she had left Chan to deal with the bodies, and never asked where he put them. She hadn’t wanted to know, didn’t want to think of them as bodies, puppies who could have been alive; she just wanted to forget.   Of course, that was easier said than done. She’d tried to keep busy, burying herself in work without time to think of anything else. Focusing on the living helped a lot, supporting Jethro in building a proper sanctuary for their group, a space to keep them all safe – the pups especially. Finley’s boys by far, had been her strongest motivation to keep going – she might have lost her own children, but if she could help protect these two, maybe it could help make up for it, at least a little bit. She couldn’t help but feel a special connection to Chan’s foundling, now growing up into a fine young wolf, both smart and handsome, and with a family to support him: As it should be…!   It was only at night, when she curled up to sleep all alone, that she could no longer escape the grief, and the guilt that still plagued her. Often, she found herself wandering into the early hours of the morning, trying to distract herself until she was too tired to stay upright. Today her paws let her to the shores of the lake, as they so often did. However, she was surprised to see that she was not the only one there. It took her a moment to recognize the white figure, whom she hadn’t seen for months, but when she did, furrowed brows lifted in surprise; “Colette?” ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

Colette, a voice called, interrupting her thoughts and preventing her mind from, momentarily at least, venturing down whatever dark path it had intended to next. Surprise was evident in the singular spoken word, and as she turned, the ghost found herself facing Chan’s current interest.

Or, most recent ex, since he was gone now? She didn’t know what was going on between the two of them now and didn’t want to. Their relationship was their business.

Still, of all the wolves she’d thought she might see, Flair hadn’t been one of them. Except for Reika, though, Colette hadn’t been all that keen to meet any of the others. If anything, she’d been hoping to avoid most of the others, with her present company chief amongst that group.

It certainly seemed like at least some of that sentiment was shared by the fiery-colored and battle-scarred woman opposite her. ”Sorry. I was.. just leavin’,” she spoke, failing to come up with any other kind of adequate or appropriate response. Colette couldn’t fathom any reason, either, that Flair would ever want or care to see her. Especially now, after what’d occurred.

Therefore, the only thing the ghost could think to do, was what she’d always done when faced with a situation like this. And that was to just walk away. Yet, after only a few steps she paused, as for some reason, it felt as though her paws stubbornly refused to budge.

(This post was last modified: Dec 15, 2022, 05:08 PM by Colette.)

The lake was a place of peace, even as the water swirled with memories, both good and bad. Perhaps it was simply the sense of safety, after last year’s scarcity, though she suspected there was a lot more to it. Even with the group settling deeper in the woods, the budding leader suspected the lake would remain a meeting place, as well as a source of constant visitors no doubt, both wolf and prey. Still, seeing Colette of all here was a shock. The woman was truly a ghost, lurking in the periphery of their group, seeming to prefer her solitude, and yet she remained around; For whatever reason… Flair didn’t know exactly what had happened between @Chan and his former partner, only the state he had been in after their reunion. Seeing him that upset had truly rattled her, and she’d been inclined to hold it against the pale stranger; of course, that was before everything had changed. Now, as the one-eyed woman turned away, Flair called almost desperately: “No, please! Don’t go…” there were so many things she wanted to say, questions, demands even. But one trumped all the others, her voice quiet and almost trembling; “I… I never got t’ thank you. Fer that day…” It was a statement full of mixed feelings, because it did not at all feel like a day to have any gratitude for. However, it was very likely that if Colette and Jethro hadn’t shown up when they did, Flair would have lost her own life along with her pups. ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

Colette hadn’t thought, hadn’t expected there could possibly be anything Flair would say that would surprise her. But in that assumption, the ghost was proven completely wrong again. The first few words to escape the fiery woman were surprise enough. Please, don’t go…

Flair’s voice was quiet, shaky, when the ghost had anticipated it would be full of hatred or perhaps anger. Why didn’t you get there sooner? Why are you still here? Perhaps inquiries as to why she’d hurt Chan so much.. or what their relationship had been like, depending on what he’d told her. If anything.

But there wasn’t any of that or even one of the other dozens of possible things Cole had anticipated. No. Instead, it was a thank you.

Cole had to turn her head away to hide the beginnings of a scowl that was starting to work across her countenance. And also perhaps the moisture gathering in the corners of her bad eye. The ghost could feel her anger rising, though not necessarily at Flair, but the overall situation.

Thank me for what, arriving too late to help your family? For probably being the reason that fate decided to punish you and Chan in that way? She wanted to ask. But those things were harsh, unnecessarily so. Things she didn’t want to burden a grieving mother with.

With a deep breath, the ghost managed to regain some of her composure. To hide her scowl and anger behind a look of indifference, though it was impossible to mask all of the emotion. Like the guilt and sadness. ”Don’t. There’s nothin’ to thank me for, I don’t deserve it.” Cole spoke as gently as she could manage, one-eyed gaze cast in Flair’s direction. Though.. she wasn’t quite able to lift it up beyond the other’s paws.

”I just distracted her. Everything after that.. it was all your dark friend.” He’d been the one to make sure Flair had been okay, and to organize and see Flair had gotten the help she needed to, well, mostly recover. If he hadn’t been there..

(This post was last modified: Jan 17, 2023, 05:15 PM by Colette.)

Time stretched into eternity, silence making each second feel like a year. Flair stood frozen in place, watching the ghostly woman intently, afraid even to breath out of fear that she’d scare the other wolf off. With her face turned away, there was no way of telling what Colette was thinking, and the anticipation of her response made Flair’s body tense up. The dejection in her words, when they finally came, where like cold water splashed in the fiery woman’s face. She blinked in confusion, trying to meet Cole’s downturned gaze, trying to understand why she seemed so weighed with guilt; What more could she possibly have done? Flair was constantly beating herself up for what had happened, knowing that she bore the blame for all of it, that guilt had completely immobilized her for a long time, and it still hung about her like a dark cloud. But she’d never even considered her rescuers holding any blame – she certainly didn’t blame them. Still, Colette insisted on turning all Flair’s gratitude over to Jethro, minimizing her own role in a way that made a bit of irritation stir in the fiery woman’s chest. Brow’s furrowing, she couldn’t help the slight sharpness in her tone as she countered: “That distraction saved my life!” She had no doubts that the dark devil would have continued her assault if Cole hadn’t drawn her attention, and without the white woman there for support, Jethro might not have scared her off, but ended up hurt too: “I’ve plenty t’ thank y’ for!” It was important to her that Colette accepted her thanks, for whatever reason; You had no reason to save me… Yet if it hadn’t been for Jet and Cole, she’d have paid for her mistakes with her own life as well as her children. ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

There was a note of sharpness, of irritation to Flair’s next response. It was the sort of emotion the ghost had anticipated all along, and enough to finally draw Colette’s attention away from the ground around Flair’s paws and to the fiery wolf herself. That distraction saved my life, the other insisted.

And thought that she had plenty to offer her thanks for. A sharp huff escaped the ghost, torn between wanting to snap back or just.. trying to calmly appease the other. If her life had been normal, absent so many horrific atrocities and deeds, Colette would’ve wholly bought into those words. Would’ve accepted the thanks, still perhaps with a little bit of protest, but graciously in the end. That was not how things had gone down, though.

The ghost managed a couple of deep breaths. Focused on her breathing, on the sounds of the wind and water. Anything but her irritation and guilt. ”No, you don’t,” the ghost insisted again, firmly but calmy, giving her muzzle a single, slow shake. ”I can’t stop thinking, if I’d gotten there a little faster, maybe..” her and Chan’s children would still be alive. They’d still be together, living here happily, with the rest of the group here, instead of.. split up and whatever they were now.

”Please don’t. I don’t deserve it. Don’t want it.” The last bit sounded almost like a plea, even to her. For once in her life, Cole had done that out of.. something like caring, compassion. Because of that alone the act didn’t require any thanks.

But now - after the life she’d lead? It was not right. If I deserve anything it’s your scorn and contempt. Maybe even to face your wrath.. to feel your jaws around my neck. Colette knew she couldn’t say that, though.

Sorry this took me a while. Think we can wrap up with one more round? And I'd love to have a new thread with them :3

This was a truly absurd situation, and certainly one Flair had never imagined she’d be in, basically pleading for this almost stranger to accept her gratitude – growing increasingly frustrated as she refused to. She couldn’t possibly know what was going on in Colette’s head, what past horrors she was struggling with – if she did, she likely wouldn’t be pushing so hard. But the pale woman was stubborn in her denial, appearing to grow irritated herself as she finally met Flair’s eyes with an audible huff. The leader clenched her teeth, waiting for the next words, though they took a little while to come. She almost expected an attack, a verbal one at least, but instead Colette answered calmly, still insistent that her help had meant nothing. Now it was Flair’s turn to breathe a soft growl, her own head shaking in refusal; Why can’t you see…?! It was so stupid, to argue about this at all, to squabble about what might have happened instead of accepting what had. She was about to tell Cole as much, when the other spoke again, her tone giving the fiery woman pause. Rather than anger, there was a note of anguish in her voice that Flair hadn’t noticed before, something beyond what had happened at the Demise. Subconsciously, she’d assumed Colette’s reticence was about her relationship with Chan, but this seemed like much more than jealousy. Brows furrowed, Flair watched her companion silently, wondering just what might drive someone to think so little of themselves. But that wasn’t a subject to broach right now. Instead, she simply said, in a quiet yet firm voice: “You have it anyway.” That was the end of it as far as she was concerned. ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

She didn’t want to look at the other. Not for fear of what she might see there, in the shifting of expressions. But for fear that she’d take one look and be unable to hold back a confession. The complete truth - which a part of her felt Flair deserved to know too - but now didn’t feel like the right time for that. Nor did the ghost wish to ruin her tiny chance at a different kind of life…

Bad things happened. However, Cole wasn’t sure she’d ever be thoroughly convinced her presence was not a curse to anyone that might attempt to befriend her because of her misdeeds. And how did one explain that to a grieving mother?

Your kids might be dead because fate hates me and has a cruel sense of justice?

Probably best left unsaid. She only half heard the growl from Flair, and the following statement - you have it anyway. Despite the plea, Flair pressed anyway. It wasn’t right, Colette didn’t deserve that. But she couldn’t be frustrated with someone when she couldn’t tell them why.

After another pair of deep breaths, the ghost eased some of the tension from her body and posture. Then offered a small bow of head. ”If that’s what you truly believe, so be it.

She didn’t agree, but she was done debating it - at least for now. If her semi-concession would allow them to put that event behind them permanently, it was worthwhile.

At that, the ghost turned about, intending to venture off further down the shore. There was nothing else to be said. Better to put it as far behind her as she could.

--yah, i think we'd be good to fade here! I'd definitely like a more updated interaction too sometime c:

Short fade to get it to 10

Colette clearly wasn’t happy, but she finally seemed to be giving in, her muscles relaxing even as she continued to huff. In the end, her answer was still dismissive, but not entirely, which was probably all Flair could hope for at this point. Still, as the pale woman started to turn, she couldn’t keep from affirming: “It is.” One day, they would need to have a longer conversation about everything, but for now this would have to do. Flair watched the other woman walk away for a few moments before nodding her own head and turning around herself; It’s a start. ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

(This post was last modified: Jul 31, 2023, 11:02 PM by Flair.)