Dead Empress Backwater The weight of the world

@Viorel please. RE: Ally, you hit your paw on a tree root hidden by the last of the snow.

the night comes down like heaven

Ally woke with a start. Her heart pounded in her ears, a constant throb that disoriented her momentarily. As she stared wildly about she slowly realized she was home.

She'd been trying so hard to come home, but... it didn't feel like home, not without her dad, even though her grandpa and uncle were here. She'd had family in the Cove, too, but... but it was better here. She didn't even mind being grounded all that much, since she didn't have a strong desire to leave until her dad was with her. He would come back here eventually.

Ally's heart still raced from the nightmare she couldn't remember. She wouldn't be going back to sleep any time soon. Quietly, so as not to disturb anyone else around the group den, the yearlings crept into the night to find somewhere isolated to sit and think. Maybe even have a cry.

The father had been awake and brooding, not unusual for the Valle man at this time of the night. He had never been a morning wolf, and found comfort in the dark of the night. He knew that his latest litter of children would be gracing the world any day now which meant he was limited in how far he could wander. In previous years he might have spent this time huddled up in the birthing den, preening Vanadis and whispering sweet nothings to each other but that did not feel appropriate this year. Instead he made himself busy, helping dig out the den, bringing her food and anything else she desired so she would be cared for.

The sound of pawsteps broke Viorel out of his thoughts, salt and pepper head lifting off of his paws to turn towards where they had come from. The sight of his granddaughter was greeted with his tail thumping against the ground a couple of times happily, though he watched closely. He knew Eros had her on lockdown until Archer returned and he wasn’t about to be the one who lost her again. He said nothing, but it was clear by the tilt of his head that he was wondering where she was headed to this late at night.

the night comes down like heaven

Lost in her thoughts as she was, Ally didn't notice her grandpa until she was nearly upon him and the thumping of his tail met her ears. She turned toward the sound, caught the movement of his head in the dark, and leapt back with a startled yelp. She took a few running steps but stopped herself; that was what got her into this whole mess to begin with.

She was done running.

Having taken a moment to actually assess for a moment and realizing it was indeed only her grandpa, she crawled up next to him, snuggling into his side. His scent, so like her dad's, washed over her like a blanket and she sighed in contentment.

The leader had not intended to startle his granddaughter, which is why he had remained silent to begin with. When she yelped and began to run, he lurched halfway up, her name on the tip of his tongue when she stopped. That would have been a real tragedy, if he managed to lose her again when all he did was wag his tail. Then she was back by his side, curled into him and sighing in what he hoped was something close to happiness.

Relaxing back down, he settled his head back upon his paws and for a moment just listened to the quiet sounds of the night. Rustle of a gentle breeze, the slow drip of melting snow in the deepest part of the woods, the haunting call of an owl in the distance. Eventually he quietly rumbled, ”You must really be a Valle to be up so late at night.” He wasn’t sure what it was about them that meant they would rather sleep in the day and chase after the moon. Some wolves had violence in their blood, some wanderlust, the Valles had the night. Or maybe it was just how well their dark pelts blended in with the dim.

I don't think this is going to end up being RE points lol, but sorry for the wait! Not to self: this is before they know Archer is dead

I guess it goes to show, does it not?

THAT WE'VE NO IDEA WHAT WE'VE GOT UNTIL WE LOSE IT

Ally sighed as she settled into her grandfather's side, and he accepted her warmly. His words had her ears pricking and she looked up at him. "Dad liked to sit up and watch the stars," she said quietly. "I sat with him until I couldn't stay awake anymore." Now she was older and she could stay up all night if she had the mind to, but she did like sleep... when it didn't plague her with nightmares like it had tonight.

Her chin rested on her paws as she pondered the last several weeks. She wanted her dad. "I want him to come home," she said quietly, trying to keep the low whine from her voice. It wouldn't do to start crying again. "How long do you think he'll take?" She wondered if he'd heard she was here yet, or if he'd come back to check in, or if maybe... what if he gave up? What if he came home to stay, thinking she was still lost? She wasn't, but the idea that her dad might give up on her caused a knot to twist in her stomach. "Do you think he's even still looking for me?" Her voice was nearly a whisper.

A soft smile tugged up the corners of the leader's mouth and he mused, ”Your grandmother, Eros, and I are also all night owls. Isla and Sephrina as well when they were younger.” Obviously he had no way of knowing what kind of schedule Isla had now that she was an adult, and Sephrina had never had the chance of becoming a fully realized wolf, life cut tragically short. He couldn’t dwell on that. Maybe it was nature, or maybe it was nurture, but it was clear the Valles had grown to be a nocturnal sort.

Her words brought a low rumble of a sigh deep in his chest, and the father moved to pull his grandchild closer to him in what he hoped was a comforting embrace. He took a moment to respond, not entirely sure of what the best thing to say was but ultimately deciding on honesty, ”I want him to come home too.” It was simple, but at least they were together in it, ”I haven’t seen him since the dead of the winter, five moons ago. But, at that time he was beside himself looking for you, doing everything that he could and I know my son - he would never give up on trying to find you. If he hasn’t come home yet, it’s because he doesn’t know you’re here and he would never come back without knowing you’re safe.” Yellow eyes cast upwards towards the sky as if that could give them any kind of answer.

It didn’t, but it did remind him of how small they were, ”You just have to stay here, we are going to do everything we can to find him and bring him home.” If they could find him. How far had he gone trying to find his wayward daughter? All the way back to the sea? Up the mountain?

I guess it goes to show, does it not?

THAT WE'VE NO IDEA WHAT WE'VE GOT UNTIL WE LOSE IT

Ally listened to her grandfather's assurances and tried to believe. She just wished she knew where he might have gone, known how far he'd traveled... she wondered if Uncle Eros might go find her friends at Paradise Falls and see if her dad had gone there looking for her. The thought almost made her sick, that had she stayed she could already be with him again. She shook her head to rid herself of the thought. No, no; he wouldn't have gone so far. She certainly hadn't meant to.

Instead she looked at her grandfather from the corner of her eye, contemplating the question that had been plaguing her. "If you want him to come home," she said slowly, "why did you kick him and mom out? Were Andy and I really that bad?" She barely remembered her brother at all anymore, just a name she knew and a sadness she hadn't understood.

Viorel froze at her question, breath catching in his throat as he tried to process what had just been asking of him. How was he supposed to answer that? Dull claws gripped into the semi frozen ground beneath him in an attempt to steady his suddenly thudding heart. He let out his breath slowly and steadily, yellow eyes finding some tree in the distance to focus on as he searched for the right words.

Eventually he replied strongly, ”You and your brother were never bad. In fact you might be the only innocent ones in all of this.” And that was the truth. But that wouldn’t answer her full question, ”Your parents knew what the pack law was and they knew what the punishment would be and they made their decision anyways. The rest of the pack was still grieving the loss of…” He trailed off with a voice crack, it was still hard to say, ”After Sephrina died we were broken, most of us. So your parents using that time to mate felt like a deeper betrayal than even just breaking the law that had been laid out.” That was it, the logic and the justification, didn’t mean shit now though did it?

He finally looked at her, his voice softer now, ”But, if I could take it all back I would. I don’t know how much it would have changed, if we could have saved Andy or stopped you and your dad from getting lost, but maybe it would have made us all feel a little better.” At elast he would like to think so.

I guess it goes to show, does it not?

THAT WE'VE NO IDEA WHAT WE'VE GOT UNTIL WE LOSE IT

Ally kept her eyes fixed on her paws as her grandfather spoke. She wasn't sure what she expected from him, wasn't sure how she felt about his answer. His immediate assurance that it had nothing to do with her or her brother, that her parents weren't punished because of them, did help. She relaxed - she hadn't realized she'd tensed in the first place. And still her grandfather continued with his explanation. It was mostly straightforward, logical... cold. She swallowed. Ally had known that her aunt's death had played a part not only in her parents getting together but also in their exile. She had been too young to truly process the loss when Andy died, but she wondered how she'd feel had they been older. If she would understand her dad - or side with her grandpa.

Her brow furrowed. And what about Uncle Eros? He clearly loved his litter mate, and Ally, but she remembered the tension when her dad first introduced him. Archer had almost seemed afraid, reluctant to bring Eros back into their lives.

Ally wordlessly leaned further into her grandfather's side. She didn't know what all would have been different. If they'd been here, maybe mom wouldn't have disappeared. Maybe she wouldn't have been as close to her dad. Maybe she never would have met her grandmother up the mountain, or her uncles and aunts there.

She sighed.

The Valle man felt nerves increasing in his gut as his granddaughter remained silent following his explanation. It was a hard thing to try and understand and now looking back he was not sure what would have been the right thing to do. Or if there even was a right thing to do. At least she leaned into him and that was comforting that she didn’t immediately reject what he had told her. Frowning softly at her sigh he murmured, ’We’re going to find him, I promise you’re not the only one who misses him.” How much time they had wasted on arguments and politics when they should have just been together. Settling his head down on his paws, he fell silent - ready to pass the night away with Ally by his side, a couple of silent sentinels taking the evening watch.

FADE