Dead Empress Backwater only the unlucky of us get to do it

technically forward dated to 12/8, for @Ally only.

This was going to be challenging in many ways, but with things as they were, it was his responsibility to be the one to have this talk. Eros had put it off for quite a few hours after his talk with Viorel, getting other, far more routine tasks out of the way. When the amount of work to be done waned and the night was almost at its end, he finally sought out his niece.

"Ally?" he called out once near, nerves setting in. He hoped dearly that he didn't fuck this up, that he didn't manage to manifest the complete opposite of what Archer would have wanted for her. Doing nothing wasn't a choice here, though. At a minimum, Ally deserved to know what she would be going through in a few months, and every year after.

"There's something important I'd like to talk to you about..."

(This post was last modified: Jan 13, 2025, 12:16 AM by Eros.)

I guess it goes to show, does it not?

THAT WE'VE NO IDEA WHAT WE'VE GOT UNTIL WE LOSE IT

Ally had spent most of the night awake, though she'd settled down between the twisted roots of a tree sometime around midnight. She'd gotten some fitful sleep, but nowhere near as much as she would have liked. It wasn't unusual for her, though, and she was starting to get good at pretending like she was fine during the day. Maybe she could catch a nap sometime in the afternoon, when there was a patch of sunshine to warm up in.

Maybe she could start sleeping with more of the pack members. It would be warmer.

She could hear Eros coming, his scent on the breeze telling her who it was, and she lay still until he called to her. Alas, her attempt to sleep was done for the morning. She stood and stretched. "I'm here," she said, though he certainly knew that. "What's up?"

It had seemed that while Valles belonged under the moon, Vuesains were beholden to the sun. Funny, how the only piece left of Archer could be so unlike him in certain ways. For Eros, her diurnal habits just meant his own sleep was more staggered than before. He made sure to wake and check on his niece throughout her days, even if he didn't always make direct contact. Things were still hard, and she didn't need to see how much he really struggled.

Her eyes appeared tired as he approached, a sign of her own continued strife. His smile was nearly nonexistent, but it did still exist, gentle and understanding. Unfortunately, he wasn't about to make her very early morning any better. Eros had literally had nightmares after being told what those assigned female at birth went through in order to bring new life into the world.

"Well, you're only a few months away from becoming an adult, now."

That on its own was pretty monumental. March wasn't the only thing that would, or even could, be different. In a lot of ways, her whole world was opening up. That meant losing so many safeguards, though.

"Which means a lot of things, and we can talk about all of it, but the most important thing... is that you're going to be capable of starting your own family soon."

I guess it goes to show, does it not?

THAT WE'VE NO IDEA WHAT WE'VE GOT UNTIL WE LOSE IT

Wherever Eros was going with this conversation, Ally wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it right now. It was an odd hour and she was tired and Eros was clearly not in the best of headspaces lately. Maybe she could do more to help him with that... she should be out more, should be around him more. Maybe if she was a better pack member, a better niece-

Her train of thought came to a screeching halt. Family?

Her ears turned back, nose wrinkling in confusion. "Start a family? But I already have one." She peered at him, suddenly worried. "I have you, right...?" He wasn't kicking her out, was he? After all the trouble she'd gone to to find her way home, that Eros and Viorel had gone through to bring her back, that her father had died trying to get her back home?

Bzzt. The first wrong choice in words of what was sure to be many. He shouldn't be here doing this. It shouldn't have necessarily even been Archer, either. Ally should have been able to have Kateri for this, her mother who would really know what she was going to experience. Who would have all the answers. Eros could only hope his own moms had told him enough for this...

His heart was starting to hurt deeply in the way that it did when all those he was meant to be grieving entered his thoughts at once. He missed his parents, even those who were still alive. He missed being able to rely on them. He missed his friend, his study-buddy, and he missed the way he felt before he came to share responsibility for so much division and loss. Eros tried to stay focused. Ally was right there, in front of him, hanging on his response.

"Of course. That's not, what I meant," there was a lilt in his brow and his eyes dodged to the side, making his embarrassment clear. He needed to be far more direct, and he knew that, but it didn't make this easier.

"I mean, having children of your own. Before your second birthday, at a specific time in the spring, you become able to create children of your own, just like your mom and dad did to have you and your brother."

I guess it goes to show, does it not?

THAT WE'VE NO IDEA WHAT WE'VE GOT UNTIL WE LOSE IT

Ally felt that somewhere, somehow, she'd said something wrong, but she didn't know how. Only that Eros was unhappy - though not with her. She wanted to ask him, but didn't know how. She didn't know how to talk to others anymore, it felt like. She'd done very little socializing when she was younger anyway. She really ought to figure that out.

Ought to do a lot of things, like listen to what her uncle was trying to tell her.

Children of her own. She stared at Eros with wide eyes. Children of her own. She hadn't even considered that - considered having children. Already? She still felt like a pup some days. Looming adulthood suddenly felt so much scarier as she realized how much she didn't know. Ally blinked. "Oh," she said. "I, uh. I don't want to?" she said, unsure. Not that she didn't want to have children - she was pretty sure about that, at least right now - but what Eros wanted from her and this conversation.

A soft bark of a noise left him at her response, something kind of like a laugh but not quite. He likewise couldn't help the relieved "good!" that flew from his throat after. His spine stiffened with immediate realization, and the backpedaling followed quickly.

"I mean-, I'm glad, that you want to wait. I think that's good. Though I, it's important you know too that whatever happens, however it happens, it is your choice. There wouldn't ever... I'd have your back no matter what, okay?"

Because he wanted her to be supported and happy, and because now he knew the real consequences of trying to enforce your own sense of morality onto others. If anything could come close to making things up to Archer, it would be ensuring that he was there for Ally in the way he hadn't been for his brother.

Eros's quick response went a long way to alleviating some of Ally's anxiety. She could barely take care of herself right now, she couldn't imaging having to care for pups. But then...

"Dad was barely older than me when I was born, wasn't he?" she said quietly. "I know that's why he and mom were kicked out. Because of me and Andy." That wasn't entirely what her grandfather had said, but close enough. At least Viorel had assured her that she was not bad. "Or, because they were going to have us. Grandpa said..." he'd said he would take it back, if he could, but how much would that have changed?

She stepped forward and tucked her head into Eros's chest. "I don't want to go anywhere."

Of course this is where the conversation would go. Eros' ears closed back down against his nape, and his eyes were downcast as Ally spoke. So she and Dad had talked about it? Something anxious squirmed in his chest, wondering what exactly was said, if it had been the right things, if it had been something helpful for her or if it had just added even more burrs to her thoughts.

She brought his own thinking back to the moment when she sought comfort, her small voice and phrasing digging into his heart. His eyes squeezed shut and his chin lowered to rest at her shoulders, tucking her into a tight embrace.

"Then you never have to. I won't ever let someone push you out, no matter what happens. Not over spring, not over anything."

He shouldn't have ever done it to anyone. The naivety of his past self had unfairly cost others so much, and the shame of it was searing.

"... I should have done the same before. For you and your parents."

They could have been happy. They could have all still been here, Andy alive and Kateri accepted. Instead, Archer had been cursed with a brother who turned his back on him when he most needed protection. Eros grit his fangs, doing his best not to fall into the darkness.

(This post was last modified: Dec 30, 2024, 04:41 AM by Eros.)