Sanguine Cove a wheat paste brush and cans of paint

for @Moonshadow only, after Chan's talk with Nash.

Now that he'd spoken with his brother, it was time to deliver the news to his mother and have what would likely be a final goodbye. There were days ahead still before he would be leaving with Flair and Auburn, but it would take that time to come to terms with what he was putting in the past. He wanted to spend as much time with the aged woman as he could before that chance was forever gone.

He looked for her where she typically rested, and chuffed out a greeting before settling in beside her. She felt so thin and frail, her fur holding more of the cold than warmth. Even her eyes had dulled with time, foggier than months ago when he had rejoined the Cove. He settled his throat atop her shoulders, breathed deep.

"Hey, Ma."

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

There was no denying now that the Eastfall matron was old. It was something she could no longer deny. Her steps her slowed and more cautious over the rocky terrain, despite being known by memory. The cold seemed to sink in quicker and leave her coat slower. Her vision was becoming hazy and undefined where it had once been as sharp as an eagle's. Though despite healing weeks ago the injury caused by the lynx still lingered when she overexerted herself. It is a sad reality that the cove woman was creeping closer and closer to being reunited with her beloved.

The day was a welcomed warmer one than previous once that pulled the ebony woman from the comfort of the communal den. She rested atop a large boulder in the sun along the shore when a familiar chuff reached her silver dusted ears. A happy rumble resonated from within her sunbathing frame as her eldest child settled in next to her. Her once fluffy banner swept the boulder as she greeted him back. "Hello my love." The mother rested her head atop his paws content on simply sitting if that was what he wanted. She had learned long ago to not pressure the tawny man into talking about things. He would share what he wanted to when he was ready. So, Moonshadow gave her baby all the time he needed, if any to talk.

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She had chosen quite the perfect place to rest, peaceful and warm. He had to wonder if this was the same boulder he and @Flair pretended to tussle over, but it was hard to remember those finer details now. So much had happened since those easy-going days. He thought of it all, as he took his mother up on that unspoken offer for silence. For simply being.

When he was ready, he lifted his head and spoke.

"I'm leaving again, going to live with Flair and Jethro and their new pack for a while. I..." this part was difficult to phrase, made clear by his hesitation, "I don't think I'm coming back."

(This post was last modified: May 12, 2023, 12:12 AM by Chan.)

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

Silence filled the space between mother and son for a while, until the latter broke it. A sigh was released first and Moonshadow knew she probably wouldnt like what followed. The words reached her fluffy audits not surprising her. She had heard them before and while they made her sad the initial sting had long since faded. Her tawny boy had always had a knack for exploring and wandering. Giving the first time mother plenty of grey hairs from worry. Despite knowing that Chan wasn't meant to stay in one place for too long it made her sad to see him go. This time though, something seemed different. He hesitated before continuing on, causing her slight frame to shift. "I don't think I'm coming back."

It took a moment for it to sink in, he wouldnt be coming back to the cove... This would be the last bit of time she would spend with him, ever. Her heart lurched as she raised her head from his paws. Cloudy silver eyes looked over the face she loved so much, trying to commit his features to memory despite having already been in there from the moment he was born. The metallic pools became misty as she just looked him over with a small sad smile. She knew she couldnt and would never stop him from doing what made him happy, but to say goodbye? Forever? That would be one of the hardest things she will ever have to do. "That's okay hun," she replied reassuringly giving his creamy cheek a nudge with her salt and pepper maw. Her heart ached more than it had in a long time, but this wasnt the time to deal with it. Her miracle was hurting and she would do her absolute best to remove the pain, one last time.

 

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Chan felt her emotion, ears hugging tight against his silver-ticked cap and eyes misting with tears. It was a difficult concept for him to wrap his mind around, but it felt certain down to his bones. Even if eventually he was able to feel comfortable upon the mountain again, it wouldn't be before his mother's time ran out. She couldn't live forever, even if her always being there for them all made her feel like a permanent part of this home.

He couldn't hold her gaze for too long, having to look to the side and letting his vision blur as he cried quietly. That's okay, she assured him, but in so many ways it wasn't. Nature was cruel, always taking as much as it gave and sometimes more, and even at his age Chan was struggling to accept it all. Staying was making him poisonous though, kept him from moving on. He needed flat land, needed his closest friend, needed space to be without the fear of repeatedly hurting his family and this pack.

Chan buried his face against his mother's shoulder, unable to find words for a long time. Even when they came, it was difficult for him to get them out of his lungs and into the air, the emotion behind them choking him into silence.

"I love you so much Mom. Everything I've ever had is because of you and Dad."

Their unconditional love, their stability, their teachings- he wouldn't be who he was today if he'd been born to anyone else.

I think I need help, cuz I'm drowning in myself

I am so sorry this took me so long!

Just as he felt her pain she felt his. She held on to his as he buried his face against her shoulder. Every fiber screamed to never let him go. To hold him close to her and to keep him safe. But she knew she would have to let go...eventually. For now, she would hold him.

His words clentched her heart causing her to squeeze him just a bit tighter. She stroked her maw against his forehead and crown just as she had when he was a pup. "I love ya too my love. Ya have always been my miracle boy. I will always be with ya, no matter what happens." She whispered gently. She would look after them all when she passed. And until then she would be with him in his heart. She remained holding him and would continue to do so until he was ready to go. She would not be able to let go before then. She needed to savor every last moment with her baby.

Word Count: 000