Paradise Falls right beside you

Time had been going by quickly. Days had turned into weeks and eventually months since the pair of siblings had found out. He’d first wanted to give Ryder some space and time to come around to this new arrangement. To open up, for better or worse, so they could finally talk and begin trying to move past whatever had been bothering Finley’s firstborn child lately.

Jet hadn’t wanted to hurt him, pressure him, or anger him. Then, they'd gotten busy, and the two children that'd passed... But as weeks had passed with little to no association with the now yearling, concern rose. Especially with Caspian’s absence.

Colette had been out searching, he knew, and he regretted that he hadn’t been able to do much of that himself. But the time had come (and hopefully was not already passed) for a meeting.

He set after a more recent trail of @Ryder after a call, hoping to find him. With the intent of not stopping until they could figure this out.

Ryder was heading out, something he did often since his brother's disappearance. Mile by mile he was mentally mapping out the territories around them, keeping track of where Caspian wasn't and refusing to give up hope that if he was determined enough, methodical enough, he would find something. Thoughts of what he might find plagued him.

When he heard Jethro call out for him, he cursed internally for not getting out quick enough. After finding out what was happening between the wolf and his mother, Ryder was incredibly uncomfortable around him and not moved to confront the ordeal. Still, he knew better than to ignore a direct summons. Ears cupping downward and tail stiffened, he ceased moving for a moment, fighting with himself and that desire to avoid before finally getting his legs to turn back and take him toward his leader.

He would approach wordlessly, giving the floor to his elder.

The search turned out to be both easy and quick. Jethro was mildly surprised to not only see Ryder still close to home, but to see him approaching as well. His eyes widened for all of a second, but Jet masked it and moved forth. But it didn’t quell the inkling of hope and happiness he felt to see Finley’s son.

He was silent, not even a greeting or an inquiry. And he appeared to be reluctant, but not angry or hostile. Jet hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

”Ryder,” he greeted with a slow tip of his head. Not wanting this to be a meeting between leader and yearling either, if it didn’t have to be. ”Was hopin’ you’d have time to talk, tell me what you’re feelin’. So we can figure out how to get past it.”

They’d once been pretty close. And if anything, since Atara’s birth, the caring he’d had for Finley’s other two children had grown as well. Jethro wanted to help them get past their struggles too, but they had to want that.

What was he feeling? Ryder blinked. Thoughts can often be defined by words, but there are some that are beyond even the minds which birth them. He simultaneously understood in his heart and couldn't summarize for his head that what he felt was like the two adults who had meant the most to him in the world were starting to mean more to one another. That this left him and Caspian on the outskirts, no matter what reassurances were spoken. This unit they'd suddenly created was different, separate, and he'd rather avoid a place in it at all than want one and be rejected.

How to get past that?

"Yeah, I'm more invested in finding my brother," he answered, taking a step which began the process of angling away from Jethro.

"Don't you have your own family to get to?" his mother to dote on, or Miss I-have-two-parents Atara?

(This post was last modified: Jun 17, 2023, 02:44 AM by Ryder.)

Ryder’s answer came quickly, almost dismissively. And it hurt. Especially the follow-up inquiry. But Jethro couldn’t fault him for not wanting to talk about feelings, especially with Caspian missing. But even that did provide some insight.

Was Ryder feeling forgotten, ignored, maybe? That was not something Jet’d ever want him to feel. Especially not because of him

”I consider everyone in our group my family,” he answered the second part first, pointedly, though not void of compassion for them all. ”Includin’ you and your brother. If you wanna keep lookin’, let’s go.”

Perhaps this was a case where actions would speak louder than words. He already regretted not having been able to look around very much lately. But with Atara growing, healthy, and Finley now doing better, that was something else that he should have time to do more of, now.

The answer that came was diplomatic, and his ears flicked backward with annoyance at that. Ryder himself didn't understand why. Even he knew that it should make him happy to hear all of those words, to have an offer of immediate assistance, but he just felt empty over it instead. If it helped Casp though, he certainly wasn't about to say no.

His teeth ground together a few moments, eyes avoiding Jet, fighting back and forth with himself on if he wanted to get in another jab. Torn between asserting himself and giving into obligatory compassion. The venom in him won out.

"Well I'm not your family."

He would jab his muzzle in the opposite direction from which he intended to go then, the child in him very apparent as he dictated, "You look that way."

Splitting up was smarter anyways, yeah? He moved forward, content in being done with the conversation.

I’m not your family. The words were laced with a venom Jet hadn’t heard from the kid before. A venom that sounded like it was meant to hurt - and hurt it did. A tiny part of him wondered how any other leader would react. He knew how his family would’ve - and had - when he’d dared speak like that.

Jethro would not be like them. Demanding respect because of a position. There were times when that was needed, but this was not one.

”I’m sorry you feel that way, but it doesn’t have to be like that.” He spoke, though he wouldn’t make a move to pursue Ryder. Instead, he’d turn, as the kid had suggested. He clenched his jaw for a moment, but opted to offer more over his shoulder. In hopes the kid might hear it as he wandered away. That part of it might stick. Or at very least, so he'd know.

”You and Cas aren’t mine, but that'll never stop me lovin’ you like you are. Even if y'hate me, nothing will ever change that.” There was no bite there, no attempt to try to guilt the kid into respect. Only honesty, love, and sadness. Even if this ended up dividing them forever - which Jet hoped it wouldn't - that’d never change. He truly felt for Finley's son, and wished he could take away whatever angst the yearling was feeling now.

Jet wouldn’t linger, beginning to make his way off as well, after that. Ryder had already signaled his readiness to be done, which the dark one would oblige.



--exit unless anything crazy happens/feel free to fade!

Ryder's ears swiped backward at Jethro's response, still measured and kind, the type of answers only adults came up with. It was enough on its own to foster a drop of well-earned shame that would infect the rest of his emotions, but as the yearling stalked away, more was said. None of it made him turn around, in fact his pace picked.

'Even if y'hate me' would play over and over in his head for the rest of the afternoon.