Dead Empress Backwater wake up! if only it were a dream

RE: Spring showers have come early, resulting in heavy downpours throughout Relic Lore. @Eros
Set for 3/20/2024 Early Morning

It's time to strap our boots on

Conquest

This is a perfect day to die

Torianna found she did not care about the heavy rain that poured down upon her as it masked much of the pain she felt inside… where it might show on her face, the rain’s assault made her squint and held her face in a certain manner that was vague and unassuming. She was merely trying to keep the rain from her nose and eyes… sort of. She was out doing what she had begun to do every morning: look for her father. She refused to accept the fact that he was simply gone. That he had left them. She did not understand.

In reality, she would never understand.

“Father! Father!” She would call out as she neared the border, not understanding just how truly large the world was as the rain continued to pour, causing slight shivers. It was pretty cold, she was pretty cold, but she was also determined in her own stubborn kind of way to find him… to bring him back. How dare he abandon them? Abandon her. He was one of the few figures she knew she needed… him and mom…

The pain echoed in her chest, and it slowly started to sink in.

He was never coming home.

He was gone.

She found herself slowly collapsing on the border with a sob in her body, a rare moment of weakness shining through and echoing through her mind.

(This post was last modified: Mar 20, 2024, 06:40 PM by Torianna.)

HANDLE YOUR OWN WHEN YOU BECOME A MAN

"Tori?" Eros voice pushed through the curtains of rain best it could as he searched. Inside his chest his heart was frantic. It felt almost certain that she was running away, that this time she wouldn't stop and would disappear as Euna had after their father. Maybe that was unfair of him to put on Torianna, but the thought of losing yet another sibling... He found her crying into the spring thaw upon the ground, unsheltered from the elements and clearly uncaring of the fact. As relieved as he was that she was not in fact on the run, it still hurt deeply to see his sister like this. He was quiet as he approached, settling onto his stomach beside her and leaning lightly into her smaller frame. He didn't try to speak, it could be enough that she just knew he was here for her.

BECOME A MAN WHEN YOU HANDLE YOUR OWN

It's time to strap our boots on

Conquest

This is a perfect day to die

She had been so sheltered, her entire life. She’d never known pain, and only known victory… and so her father’s leave followed by her sister’s abandonment and carved her chest out, a cruel knife that introduced her to the truer realities of the world… one that for all her bravado, she was not prepared for. The sobs overcame her, and in that moment, she was unaware of his presence behind her. Instead, there was simply the pounding of rain against her fur that felt as if it echoed in her ears, and it would linger for a few minutes before her head turned, her small frame feeling so much smaller now in his presence.

It was a harsh kick in the teeth.

“Why?” She knew he would understand what she was asking… that any adult would. Why had he left? Why was he gone? Why did he abandon them? It felt like she were reeling, like a speck of dust in the window that was being forced to move from place to place when she wanted nothing more than to settle against some patch of dirt… she hated feeling so helpless. It felt so… unlike her.

And then Euna. Stupid Euna had run after him… she’d get herself killed. She wasn’t ready for the harsh realities of the world either.

“Why?” This time, her voice was more pitiful, as if she were lost and overwhelmed and angry all at the same time… because she was all of those things, and she didn’t know how to handle it.

HANDLE YOUR OWN WHEN YOU BECOME A MAN

Eros' ears lowered at the word as she repeated it, gaze distancing as it remained pinned dead ahead. There was never going to be answers satisfying enough for them. The only true balm would be time, but it still did matter that she was made to know the rest of them loved her and siblings deeply. ... right? "... I really wish I knew, Tori. I wish there was something any of us could have done." His own voice was quiet too, just loud enough to be perceptible over the pouring rain. He wished too, that he knew what his sister really needed right now, given she it was impossible to give her what she wanted. "... we won't track anything in this rain, though. When it lets up... I'll help you look, okay?"

BECOME A MAN WHEN YOU HANDLE YOUR OWN

It's time to strap our boots on

Conquest

This is a perfect day to die

She longed for answers, and yet the crippling weight of reality kept screaming deep into the void that she would never get them. His voice was quiet, but loud enough to carry over to her. She felt angry. She felt furious. She felt hurt. Her chest physically ached from the mental weight of it… and she didn’t know how to move forward. In that moment she didn’t know how to move forward, or how to do much of anything.

Her gaze turned to him, confusion and pain lingering in her eyes as he promised to help her track him… in that moment, she wasn’t much sure that she wanted to either… and yet she knew deep down she would. But why?

To bring him home, or to ensure he stayed gone?

“R-really?” A rare stutter fell over her tongue, a hesitation in her voice, confliction burning deep in her soul as she shifted uncomfortably. “It just doesn’t make sense. He loves mom. He loves us. Why would he just leave?” She wasn’t certain she believed in love… but she thought that it was meant to entrap those who claimed to love in your life.

And now, she wasn’t sure she knew much of anything.

HANDLE YOUR OWN WHEN YOU BECOME A MAN

Eros' brow furrowed at the questions, gaze still unmoving from the nothing in front of him. He didn't know the answers, not really, and so could only ponder with her. His lips parted and then closed two separate times, when he thought maybe he had the words, but didn't. "I... don't know, but, you're right Tori. Your dad does love you." There was much he could say about how that didn't mean he would act as she would expect him to with such being true. The kinds of things he'd had a lot of time to think about in reference to his own relationships, to moments he'd had difficulty reconciling with the connection he'd thought he'd had with others. None of it mattered at all right here and now. "I'm sure he's missing you just as much as you are him this very moment. So whatever his reason, he had to have done this because he thought it was what's best, right?" He couldn't bring himself to make even the subtlest of jabs at Vayko's expense, even when they came so easily to mind. It limited him greatly, but he would not let himself needlessly hurt Torianna further like that.

BECOME A MAN WHEN YOU HANDLE YOUR OWN

(This post was last modified: Jul 04, 2024, 04:16 PM by Eros.)

It's time to strap our boots on

Conquest

This is a perfect day to die

Her mother and her father had always been the easiest for her to rely on, even when her mother or her father scolded her for her behavior or tried to wrangle her more violent tendencies against her siblings. To some measure, they had been successful… until now, until her father decided to leave them. She could feel that anger continue to broil hot underneath her skin. A part of her wanted to lash out.

Lash out at her mother, at her siblings, at Eros and Viorel… and yet, there was a part of her in her later pup years that knew it would not help alleviate these feelings. It hardly made it seem worth it.

Your dad does love you. A part of her wanted to snap ‘don’t lie to me’ but the words never escaped, instead, she simply stared at him, pain mixing with her disbelief. “Well he’s wrong! It’s not what’s best for us!” She had found her mother sobbing on the forest floor, and she wanted nothing more than to bring pain to the one who had put her in such a state, expecting it to be Khalon or maybe Tuwile… she had never expected that it would have been her father.

It didn’t sate her desire to kill him… even if it was mixed with her desire to find him and drag him back to the pack, or even to go with him.

Except she couldn’t do that to Mother.

HANDLE YOUR OWN WHEN YOU BECOME A MAN

Eros' scrunched brow melted into a single bend of emphatic compassion at her immediate insistence. There wasn't much the girl could say in this moment that her big brother would think her wrong for, and Vayko being wrong certainly was not one. Especially in this. They could have worked all those crazy ideas of his out, if he'd just talked to any of them about it... right? "I think so too," he answered, but it was a murmur. His words weren't what she needed, nor possibly wanted. There wasn't much left outside of platitudes and make believe, both of which would only be disrespectful and seen through by his sister. With little else left, he attempted to touch his nose to her crown. He was staying. There was still his promise, after all, and the rain couldn't last forever.

BECOME A MAN WHEN YOU HANDLE YOUR OWN

(This post was last modified: Jul 22, 2024, 11:07 PM by Eros.)

It's time to strap our boots on

Conquest

This is a perfect day to die

Pain still radiated from her chest, and there was little that his words did to ease her. Instead, he simply let her feel… he did not try to sway her, and though the young girl could not process it in the moment, she could appreciate it later, after the exhaustion from the horrific feelings she felt died down in her chest and allowed her to breathe again.

“I hope he never comes back.” A vitriol filled her voice as she rose, turning away from the border in her anger and stomping off, intent to find their mother and to lay with her… a rare display of compassion from her… to check in on the one parent she had left.

HANDLE YOUR OWN WHEN YOU BECOME A MAN

'I hope he never comes back.' Eros felt guilt for agreeing with that sentiment too. He promptly got to his paws and followed after Tori. When she sought out Clover, he settled nearby. Willing to give them space if they wanted it, but wanting to be present for them if it helped in any way. Presence was what comforted him when he was hurting, and so it was the best he knew to offer.

BECOME A MAN WHEN YOU HANDLE YOUR OWN