The Wildwood whatever it takes

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Grizzly Hollow was now a year old, and what drastic changes had shaped it, and it's members. Looking back she wouldn't trade any of it for something else. She was remarkably stronger after all she'd been through, making her into someone for the most part she was proud of. She was far from perfect, but she could accept herself for who she was, know her faults, her mistakes, and see how far she had come. The only thing she wished was to go back to the beginning, and relive her favorite parts. Memories she had were not good enough some days, and she often wondered what she could have done to keep Prosper, and Theo here. The answer was out of her reach. She tried not to think to long upon it. She didn't need to be a blubbering mess.

A gentle hum of an old lullaby she trotted the coarse of the stream, with the sun high above her. It was certainly spring with the warm temperature. She would have been hot if not for the cool breeze. There were other signs. The snow was leaving fast, and in some places there already was grass and mud working on drying up, and renewing to show it's beautiful colors. The trees had their buds for leaves, flowers, and fruits. Her own body was craving to start new life. It was because of this she hung close to the forest, aware how close to the Wildwood she was becoming. She didn't feel to threatened this close to home, and wanted to accomplish something. She had once spotted some muskrats here, playing around the water. She wanted to see if they were alert, and hopefully surprise one. A deep breath, she grinned, and walked to the edge of the trickling water. Her nose to the ground she started working along the tall dry grass, weeds, and dead sticks searching for prey.

(This post was last modified: Mar 16, 2012, 04:52 PM by Jaysyek.)

<blockquote><span style='font-size:7pt;line-height:100%'><ul>trying to decide if I like this Kiche or not.</li></ul></span>
He was still such a child—that much was clear as he stumbled through the bracken and budding flower, his nose to the ground. What did he know of this world he had lived in? He had been here for a year and still he surprised by this land and its people. Now that he had opened his eyes, discovery lurked at every bend in his path. Newness began to seep into his shattered soul, and slowly the cracks began to suture. But sometimes he found it was too much –the sun was to bright, the ground too muddy, the civilization too foreign. He was just a lost child, an immigrant in a new country that he felt as if he would never understand. The world escaped him.

But today he was trying. Some days it was too hard to open his eyes and look at the world, and he would just curl up in a ball in the safety of the den, weeping for the life he had lost. It was all he could do not to break himself again. Today, though, Kiche was trying. The ginger beast slunk from the dankness of the cavern and crawled out into the world, blinking feebly like a newborn. Aimlessly, he drifted out of the Hollow, looking for anything that would fill the hole inside of him. He prayed that he would have the strength and open heart to receive whatever gift God chose to give him today. God was always leaving little things for him, gentle pushes and sweet reminders to keep him on the right path. Yesterday it had been a tiny buttercup, so bright and innocent that it brought a smile to the corners of his lips. Too often, the corners of his mouth felt heavy, weighed down by confusion.

However, as he picked his way with a determined carelessness through the forest, he found his eyes confronted by a familiar sight. This copse was a jumble of the old, imposing trunks scarred by the fire… the red saint frowned as he looked on, wondering for the first time what had really <i>happened</i> here. He had never had cause to wonder before. But this… this was not a defeated forest. As he wandered deeper, he saw new growth. Spindly saplings pushed out of the ground and reached out and upwards, towards the light. These hopeful young trees brought a smile to his face, and he bowed his head reverently and thanked God for showing him a new truth: <i>life goes on.</i>

A familiar scent hung on the breeze, Kiche noticed suddenly, giving him pause. “<b>Jayse?</b>” he said suddenly, half a guess, half a hello, as he lifted his head up and looked around. In an instant, he spied her woven silver and ivory coat as she trailed through the woods, her nose to the ground. With a newfound curiosity, he put his own muzzle to the ground and inhaled, wondering what it was she was after. But all he could smell was the earth. The Saint of the Hollow was just a child, after all.
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<i>the roller coasters i characters go on. sorry for the wait <3 wanted to put her in a better, less bleh mood. x)</i>

The leader's mind was solely focused on the hunt. While there was many a new scent trailing this way, and that calling for her attention she was intent on only one. The moremoschate muskrat. The small prey she had not eaten in a while, and migt be an easy catch.

The scent grew strong along a couple lonely, and barren rocks. With her tail whisking excitedly behind her, it was like she struck gold. Very eagerly she glided along knowing one was close. She spotted the little varmit, eying her with it's beady eyes. Letting her shoulders roll she made an attempt to pounce upon it with her paws, and teeth. It was far prepared for this song, and dance. It skipped it's way into the water with only a couple hobs. She might have followed, but she wasn't sure she wanted to get cold. It would surely dampen her already downed spirits. Another day, she thought silently to the creature. It wouldn't be too wrong of her to let that one live. It could be the strongest, and smartest she assumed by the way it had taken off. She'd have to find one that was weak, or slow. Maybe incredibly brave, but stupid.Licking her lips, and trying not to think of hunger,she went back to the rocks where she had started. She was curious where the little rascals stayed. After some time it remained a mystery. So no luck she abandoned the river bank, and continued through the edge of the woods. They could live here somewhere.

She was not aware Kiche was on her tail until her name hung on the whisper of the wind, and she froze,cold. Eerie chills at her back, her hair prickled like pointy spikes.What the? Quickly wheeling around taking a defensive stance, she looked down upon the blur of a wolf. Insantly her face softened seeing it was only Kiche. He did not scare her, and she was actually glad to see him. Her white banner which had been held like a stiff rod above her began to wag. "Kiche," she murmured a tilt of a smile playing with her lips. "How goes it?" She inquired with quite a pleasant light to her tone.

They'd come along way from strained acquaintances, and she was more than curious about what he was doing. If possibly he needed something of her. It was a probability, she was the Grizzly Hollow leader and it hadn't gone unnoticed how he preferred Borden over Kade. To persuade him there should be no favorite would prove as useful as telling the mountain not to be. Her tail slowed, but still churned the air behind her. It was quite a nice day with the cool breeze evened out by the warm sunlight. Then she wasn't exactly in a lovely place. She tried not to let her mind wander to the tragedies of this place. She had her own, and that kept her mind, her heart occupied. She only had room for so much.

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Stupid and careless, Kiche had not thought to make his presence known in a less... <i>abrupt</i> manner. Not only had he spooked his leader, he spooked himself. When his pagan angel spun about, her posture defensive, the lowly saint found his hackles rising instinctively. Scared and unsure, he held his breath until her face softened with recognition. A gale-force sigh blew from his lips. Old habits died hard, and his skittish, edgy reactions would probably be the last to go. It was hard for him to let go of his fears —especially of these heathens. While he rarely thought of Jayse as a heathen these days, those unmatching eyes still caught him off guard and sparked a flight response in his gut. But these thoughts made him feel guilty —far more guilty than he cared to admit.

Her inquiry after his life was a welcome distraction, and he took it willingly. With a shrug, Kiche tossed his head to the side, watching the forest quietly while he fumbled for words. <i>How </i>does<i>it go?</i> Things were so... <i>difficult</i> these days, with Borden and that black bitch, all those new members, the children, his <i>faith</i>... The hardly knew how to answer his shining, silver dove, and knew so little about conversational formalities that he took this question to be far more than a superficial nicety that was meant to proceed other subjects. "<b>You know... I don't really know,</b>" the ginger man said softly, swinging his head back around to face her and cocking it slightly. "<b>I'm... I'm trying to re...rebuild...</b>" Rebuild what? Grizzly Hollow? His faith? Himself? Could he tell her any of that and expect her to understand? "<b>I never told you about... About my... religion. About the horrible prejudices I'm trying to erase...</b>" The words came slowly to him, and sometimes the pauses stretched on forever as he grappled for anything that seemed likely to express the conflict he struggled with. "<b>I've never told you about any of that, have I?</b>"

Had he told anyone?
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With notice of his surprise, and part discomfort she held her ground till it had passed. But by her question she would not know how much conflicting thoughts it caused him inside. The easy lift, and fall of his shoulders masked his woes to her. She could detect something on his mind. Suddenly he appeared thoughtful in the quiet passing, and Jaysyek did not want to disrupt his flow of thoughts. Maybe he'd share, and maybe he would not. She'd hold onto a hope he would tell her what was bothering him. His leader, and friend she cared about his eudemonia very, very much. Like she was missing pieces, he was too. There was a lot left unspoken between them, and even more things about each they did not know, despite the very unusual understanding they had come too. A gentle look to her eyes much as she would look upon her own children her smile kept in place, and she took the moment to find the Wildwood more interesting that staring at Kiche silently wishing for answers.

In good time he began to open up, stating he did not know. She turned her eyes ever slightly in his direction regarding him in the same softness as he began to speak his mind. With all they'd been through he had a hard time explaining what she could only assume was his inner chaos. She did her best to listen, and not judge. She could not exactly fill in the gaps of what he was meaning to say. He went saying he was trying to rebuild to talking about his elusive religion that she had suspected as the source of his anger, and confusion. She was patient, knowing he needed a kind ear, and heart to listen. It took him time, making sense to a point. When hew as done she took in a quiet breath becoming thoughtful herself. Slowly blowing it out, she quietly reclined to her haunches. Her mismatched eyes did not meet his, but for a second until she found a large deep scar buried in the heart of a dead tree. It was black, and had several lines where the fire had eaten at the live wood. How sad it was to know it would never recover. "No, you haven't Kiche," she said, but once more she did not let her eyes flicker from the tree. She thought looking at him indirectly might help him share. "I'd like to hear about it, and where you came from," she said in a most sincere tone now meeting the bright golden pools of his eyes.

(This post was last modified: Apr 20, 2012, 09:28 PM by Jaysyek.)

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The words had been there all along, just waiting to come to life.

"<b>I come from...a human home. A town.</b>" Suddenly he stopped, and cast a sidelong glance a the silver lady, doubting that she would know what a town was. Something akin to uncertainty bubbled in his stomach, as he began to fear that either of them would have the mutual vocabulary to explain or understand the conundrum that was his past. "<b>A... town is like lot of boxes made of. Trees.... trees and hard materials. Metals. Stone. Anyway... I lived with my human masters. And. Jayse, I <i>loved</i> them.</b>" Slumping to the ground, the grief in his voice was still raw. His voice became a whisper, "<b>I <i>still</i> love them.</b>" A sudden shame washed over him as he spoke the words, and he began to wonder if after all this time he come to doubt his masters and their goodness. He had heard... some pretty bad things about them.

"<b>And anyway. It's really different from here. There are black boxes and fenced in yards and... cars and kibbles...</b>" The saint's voice tapered off once more as he lost himself in the memories of home, the warm, florescent lights and plush carpets and awful hardwood floors that stole away his grace. "<b>And. When I was taken here. It was just... so different here. So... <i>barbaric</i>... And none of you... wolves seemed to believe in the things I believed in. In God. I... I thought you were all heathens. Part of me <i>still</i> thinks you're all heathens.</b>" Admitting that secret took nearly all of his courage, and while painful, was almost relieving. Beseeching, his eyes found hers, "<b>You have to understand, you were all so strange to me.. I was afraid. Being terrible was the only way I thought I could protect myself from this terrifying world.</b>"
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I had a hard time deciding what Jayse might take from this, and say. I figured it was very important <3

There was some several things about Jaysyek no one new about her, especially in the lands of Lore. When she was young, the first in her travels she vaguely met some sled dogs, and watched their Inuit owners. It may have helped her begin to wrap her mind about Kiche being something like a "dog" or "pet". It was very strange, and yet made perfect sense. He had acted like he'd never been around other wolves, and she felt quite privileged to be listening to his story at last. All ears he started to describe the differences, and how much he had loved these "humans". She sensed how lost he must too have been in this world. She recalled the dogs getting their "food" handed to them, and had saw them interact with the tall hind-walkers. It'd been the strangest thing she'd ever seen, and enough she did not wander on her own as a puppy after that. She was trying to take in all this new information about black boxes, and kibbles. It was more the part about how is world changed, and why he was the way he was. It helped greatly to get through one of her questions if she was in the right to trust him. The fact Kiche had been thrown into a foreign land, who else would not do what they thought to survive.?She did not want to insult him, and his heritage. These humans whatever they really were sounded like his family. "Sounds like some happy place, I can't imagine what I would have done in your paws being ripped from my home to somewhere so different." She really did not know. Would she have become vicious and unpredictable? She couldn't say, and hoped never to know. What he said she acknowledged as something very hard for him to do. She, to thank him for this, and ease his mind he should not feel guilty offered him a gently swipe of her muzzle to his cheek. She pulled away, her features warm, but no smile, and she sat there quiet for a time.

She would blink gently clearing her throat, staring onto the burning grounds. "I can not say we believe in the same "God", but I do believe there has to be one out there. I'd like to think someone is out there seeing our daily struggles, and triumphs. And it was always this belief I thought one day...maybe you'd see we weren't merely sensing beasts who bite,fight, and kill. We have love, hope, faith, and strong ties of both family and loyalty. Do you see that now?" She would rest her eyes back upon him softly, aware she had spoken quite the mouth full, but had always wanted maybe even needed to share that with him. She would quietly sigh, trying to find a more comfortable place of her changing body. If it had not been for the tragedies of her first litter she may have been quite thrilled, and at the same time at peace knowing what to except this time. Her worries felt greater with this litter.

<blockquote><ul><span style='font-size:7pt;line-height:100%'>ugh i'm SO sorry. how about just one more round after this to make it ten and then ending it? i need to free up some threads.</span></li></ul>
She seemed to understand, and that was more than he could have ever asked for. The red man breathed a sigh of relief. Part of him knew that Jayse would never judge him, would never condemn him because of his past and his beliefs... but it was somehow still hard to bare all of his secrets and just stand there while she stood there silent and thoughtful, picking through the broken pieces of his old life that he had chosen to show her. When she reached forward to lick his cheek, he gratefully accepted the kind gesture with a smile. "<b>Thank you,</b>" he whispered as she stepped back.

The silence that fell between the pair was pensive rather than awkward or tense. Kiche did not fear this quiet. He found himself lost in the comfortable hush of the forest sounds and the warm silence that spoke volumes.The saint felt a twinge of resentment in his heart when his leader began to speak again, breaking that perfect serenity that he was not like to see again. However, the sentiment was fleeting, and quickly discarded when, to his surprise, Jayse admitted to believing in a God. Shocked, his firebrand eyes widened and flickered. No one he had met thus far had ever claimed to know anything about God besides Borden — and even then, his liege had said he didn't [i[believe[/i] in him. For so long Kiche had thought that he was alone in his spirituality... and yet... this white lady had been here beside him all along, holding her private faith close to her heart. It was wrong, stupid, <i>selfish</i> to think that he was the only one who could believe in God, to think that all the heathens would need his help to discover the light... Dumbfounded and humbled, Kiche merely sat there and stared at the pagan angel.

"<b>I... I don't know. I think I see it now....</b>" But at the same time... he did not. He could see the goodness in Jayse, that was easy. He could see the beauty and grace in Arlette, and the quiet camaraderie in Valiant... But he was blind to love that drove Elettra, the loyalty that had held Kade here, or the hope that had brought Borden back. These things were hard for the saint to see, hidden behind secrets, stoic faces, and snarls. Perhaps he would never really see them. Even as his gentle leader spoke of the beauty of wolves, Kiche found himself thinking of Elettra, of Kade, of Thanatos, Silver, Rebecca, and all those unnamed, horrible wolves... and he looked inside himself and felt that they were there inside of them, all of them... <i>because he was a wolf, too, a child wolf.</i>

But he didn't want to be a wolf. He didn't want to feel this wildness stirring inside him. Too ashamed to confess this, the saint dropped the split gaze of the white woman's sun-sky stare and turned his head away.
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