Thicket of Secrets Not an Outcast

He was really back.

It wasn't just a dream anymore.

Coal grinned, lifting his head up in defiance of his most recent past, and took in the view of his old home. It hadn't been that for long but the two wolves on this planet that he was close to were here and that's what counted. He may have been gone for half a year, but he was back and ready to restart his life; take it up where he had left it. As long as they let him back.

The Bielski's mood darkened slightly at this thought. He had been gone for a long time...he may be unwelcome by now. But still, he wanted to believe that @Miccah would understand. That @Aideen still loved him. That...that the two weren't together now. The idea sickened him. And since when had he become so distrusting? Oh yeah. Since those who he had trusted to help his broken body heal had made him their prisoner. Coal's eyes narrowed at the memory, but he forced it from his mind.

Walking to the very inside edge of the Woodlands border, Coal lifted his head and howled a long, clear note. His voice carried both sadness and excitement, hope and fear, and his love for this place. Then he sat, prepared to wait as long as it took while the warm sun soaked through his red coat. Would they come? Would they answer? Would they even remember him? If they did, would they care for someone now who had been broken so many times, and put haphazardly back together? He would fake his old self if it meant acceptance by those he loved.

Through it all, in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wonder.

Am I an outcast now?

It was a warm day, yet another, the sun shining bright from cloudless skies, making it hard to believe that summer was drawing to an end. Even deep within The Thicekt of Secrets, protected, far below the dense canopy, the rays of light brought color and heat to the forest. Among the dominating greens, few glimpses of other hues could be seen - the blue of water, the grey of rocks, and the reds and yellows of flowers and fruit - and also, even though fall had not yet grasped the leaves and dried them out, there was the deep rust-orange normally associated with autumn. It wasn't on the trees though, but rather moved amongst them, weaving in and out between the brambles with the skill that comes from long time's practice. For this color graced the fur of an animal, a wolf, to be precise - though the shade is much more common on a fox. It was mixed in with dark gray and white hairs, but the sunlight reflecting off of them made the fiery hue stand out even more than normally. The wolf was a female, so small of stature that she could quite easily be mistaken for a fox actually, but her molten copper eyes radiated an intelligence that told otherwise. They moved as purposefully as her paws, casting her gaze at every plant she passed as she moved through the land known as Secret Woodlands, her mind quickly filtering through the catalogue in her head, identifying every herb; and once in a while, she stopped to pick one up, carefully loosening it from the ground and pinching it between her teeth without crushing it, carrying it along as she continued. She had gathered quite a nice little bundle, when a distant sound made her pause, ears twitching; Someone at the borders..? Was it yet another lonely soul, looking to become part of The Woodlands family? So many had come, and gone... She was about to turn back to her business - if it was a loner seeking admittance, it would be up to Nina and Miccah - When a howl rang through the thicket; she had been right, it was someone looking for the attention of the pack, but the voice was not one of a stranger. It can't be..! Her jaws gaped open, the carefully gathered plants dropping to the ground as the call reached her, the familiarity ringing deep in her heart; It's impossible! She had to be imagining it, maybe she was dreaming; it wouldn't be the first time she'd heard that voice in her dreams. Even as her mind tumbled with these thoughts though, her body had set in motion, paws now carrying her towards the origin of the howl, speed increasing with every step until she was weaving through Secret Woodlands at a flat out sprint. Her heart was thumbing in her ears, her breathing shallow as she ran, and her mind was churning; No, no way! NO! Why am I even running? It's not true, I'm hearing things..! He was gone! How many times hadn't she been out searching? How often hadn't she left her duties as a healer to go look for him; And always in vain! @Coal Bielski was dead, it was the truth she had come to accept, it was the only possible explanation to his disappearance. While her brain had attempted to process the facts, her legs had carried her to the territory's edge, and as a shadow became visible through the thicket, she slowed down and her attention returned to the present. She stalked slowly now towards him, on guard as the figure turned from silhouette to clear wolf, no longer masked by the brambles and leaves. He was large, incredible large, build of strong muscles over heavy bones; lush, sand and mahogany colored fur adding further volume to his form. Stopping as soon as she was clear of the last trees, the slender fae studied him, eyes wide, maw still agape. Her copper eyes trailed the lines of darker fur over his shoulders to the patches of cream under his chin, she noted his big, dark eyes and rested her gaze there for a long while, almost swimming away in their brown depths... Then she blinked and took half a step back, tears filling her eyes. It wasn't possible, and yet here he was. She closed her mouth, opened it as if t speak, but then closed it again and just stared. Word count: 749 Thoughts ”Speech”

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The warmth of the sun was growing more and more uncomfortable, and the longer Coal roasted beneath it the more he realized that his choice of a waiting spot had been poorly thought out. He had somehow found what was likely the only spot on the border of Secret Woodlands that was treeless for more than a few yards, besides what was clearly counted as pack territory. Having been gone for so long Coal didn't want to break the rules and enter without permission even though this had once been his own home. Putting himself in their paws, he wouldn't appreciate such an act. Without any other option, since moving down along the border towards the shade offering trees would only seem suspicious and complicate things, Coal just sat and took the deathly hot sun rays. Times like these he wished for a coat a quarter the length of his.

Time seemed to drag on for hours, when in reality only a few minutes had passed. The huge red wolf regularly poked his nose in the air and searched for any scent that would betray the approach of a pack wolf but the wind was against him; it blew his own odor into the territory and kept Secret Woodland's secrets safe. Coal's mood was souring swiftly, and he began to wonder if his call had been ignored. The possibility was more than likely considering his long, unexplained absence.

After a while, he was positive of his answer. He wasn't welcome at this place anymore. His dreams of seeing their excited faces as he was welcomed homed faded away. His previous, positive thoughts that were so certain of success seemed rather pathetic now even as they nagged at the back of his mind. Coal closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to control the growing despair. No. He would wait longer. He would wait all day if need be. Perhaps they hadn't heard him, or were far away taking down prey and were too busy to answer. Coal shook off the feeling of hopelessness and lifted his head to howl a second time.

But he caught the sound in his throat as he heard something that could be mistaken for nothing but what it was: a wolf racing through the forest with little thought towards stealth or caution. But before Coal could pinpoint where the sound had come from it stopped. Coal frowned and stood up, using every sense to try to figure out what he had heard. He looked the embodiment of alertness with his head high in the air, his ears pricked forward, his nose quivering as it searched for a sign. His shoulders set, legs widespread, his tail hanging down but not quite touching his legs. "Hello?" he called, taking a few short steps forward, pushing at the edges of the border.

She was frozen, her mind blank as she watched him stir, rise to his feet and call out. Her ears were ringing, so loud that she almost couldn't understand him, yet the one word slowly made its way through her barriers, reaching her consciousness somewhere deep within, and bringing it to the surface. Hello..? Suddenly she felt cold, like ice was spreading through her veins, freezing out her emotions. She blinked, eyes narrowing as her brain began to spin again; it was definitely him, he was here, in flesh and blood; HOW?! The orange wolfess stood still for another moment, then a new wave spread through her, and this time it was heat. Fire raced through her body, burning away the cold and drying the tears in her eyes. Ears pressed flat back against her skull, hackles rising, she stepped towards him; "Hello? Hello?! Is that all you have to say? Are you even aware of what you've done, do you even care?!" Her steps were stiff as she continued advancing, not knowing what she would do when she reached him, but unable to stand still; "We thought you'd left us! I thought you were dead!" Tears threatened to rush back into her eyes, but she forced them back, swallowing hard. He was standing there, looking whole and unharmed, and she felt like something was tearing her apart from the inside. Maybe, if she hadn't been so consumed by anger, she would have noticed the look of despair in his eyes, the cautious way in which he stood, alert, observant, scared..? As it was, she was too full of her own emotions to see any of that, all she saw was him back - surrounded by the familiar land of the thicket - and for the first time in many months she felt whole again; and at the same time, she could feel her legs trembling, threatening to collapse under her at any second. Word count: 324 Thoughts ”Speech”

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The mother had been sticking close to her children, not wishing to leave for long and always making sure that other members were around when she took her leave. Lately, Nina had been allowing Miccah to take of things on the border, and she had happily let him attend to it, for surely if something was not right Mirren would have come to her and informed her of the alpha male's wrong doing. Her son was quite intelligent and she had no doubt that he thought lowly of the alpha and this was just simply because...she did as well. The Tainn was protective and she would happily listen to anything he said and take it into large consideration. That being put out there, she also had to trust that he wouldn't take advantage of that. But she was sure that he never would. After all, he was raised by Aeylen and Ruiko, and Nina had looked up to them so when she had first entered the Lore.

He thoughts were abruptly cut off when a familiar voice called through the thickets. Narrowing her single eye, Nina decided that this was a call that she could handle on her own, and hoped to goodness that Miccah was not going to be there. She had, after all, seen how close the two males were and didn't want any favoritism to the boy that thought that he could just simply return. She was quick on her paws in her lands, but it didn't seem fast enough, because as she neared she heard the fair voice of sweet Aideen booming throughout the thickets. Nina's assumptions of their relationship had been correct and it was obvious that Coal had caused the healer in training pain...and it was also obvious that Aideen was letting her emotions get the better of her...again.

So with a deep breath and a quick adjustment of her posture, she appeared from out of the darkness, going to stand over beside Aideen to give her the silent and physical support that she would need. Pinning her single-eyed emerald gaze on the dark man, she spoke coldly to him, ”Coal, you know my laws about wolves leaving the pack without warning and returning...so you better have a good reason to be standing right outside my lands right now.” The alpha did not bother with formalities, this man had broken one of their rules and had obviously caused her subordinate an amount of pain, and that would not go unpunished.

Whatever monster he had just awoken in the woman he loved, Coal wished it would go back to sleep. His brown eyes widened as she stomped out of the shadows and glowered at him, eyes ablaze with both hate and fury. It was slightly understandable, considering recent events, but Coal was certain Aideen was overreacting...at least a little bit.

In response to the wolf's dominant advance, several emotions and reactions all fought within Coal. His old life where he was strong in both body and mind, always the top dog, wrestled with the things he had learned in the last few months as a prisoner of those who betrayed him. In the end they compromised. Though he refused to drop to his knees or flash his belly in a display of pure submission, he did something that he had never before done for anyone but his alphas and the wolves who had controlled him in the Vale. His eyes lowered to Aideen's paws. His body drooped, even his coat seemed to sag more than it had. Both ears were plastered apologetically to the side of his head.

"I--I'm sorry Aideen. I never meant for that to happen. I wasn't supposed to be gone so long. I didn't mean..."

His explanation was cut off as another wolf approached, taking up position beside Aideen. She was larger, stronger, and radiated dominance with a quiet, less vengeful appearance. It was quite something, and the two females that now both stared him down made Coal feel rather small...and pathetic. He didn't really like the feeling much. But he did the only thing he could do and shrank back, not moving his paws, but offering all the submission he could save rolling onto his back. That would be saved for later if Nina demanded it. Coal wouldn't be surprised if she did.Nina's cold voice dashed all the hopes he still held onto. A dark feeling invaded his soul, and without even realizing it, Coal's eyes closed and his head lowered to the ground where his nose nearly brushed against dirt. A heavy sigh escaped and he half heartedly began to make his case before the queen of the Woodlands.

"I understand that Nina. And I agree with the laws of this pack completely. Believe me when I say that were it at all possible at any given time before now I would have returned home then. I left in the cold season in search of food for the pack. I crossed the mountains into the east, where I was attacked by a mountain lion. I escaped into a river and washed ashore up north where a pack allowed me to stay and heal. I'd planned to come back just as soon as I could walk, but when I tried leave they refused to let me go. They forced me to...do things. For them. They kept a close eye on me but a few weeks ago I killed two of them and escaped, coming here. There was no...no betrayal. I meant only to serve you and this pack. Forgive me, please."

She had little patience for his excuses, her rage still ablaze - like the soul of her mother taking control of her body and mind - she was ready to snap his apology short and yell at him some more, only the appearance of her leader stopped her. As Nina entered the clearing, Aideen felt her posture fall, the pack wolf's response to the presence of a superior, her hackles smoothing back, shoulders lowering; but she was still flashing her teeth at the sand-colored male, tail sticking out straight behind her. Somewhere below the anger was her distress, and even deeper still the feelings of relief and joy in seeing him again; alive! But for now, her indignation was too great to let anything else show through. Nina's silent support helped calm her a bit though, the golden woman was a strong leader and Aideen both respected and cared for her; And she didn't LEAVE ME! Taking long deep breaths, her copper eyes never strayed from the Bielski, watching as he retracted, bowing down to the power of The Woodlands. A sudden stab of pain ran through her, seeing him like that, her strong man, curled up in submission; But he deserves it! Her anger proclaimed; He should cower for what he's done! Now Nina took word, underlining the atrocity he had committed and demanding explanation. And as Coal's posture deteriorated further and he began speaking, the fire pelted girl felt her anger recede, dying out slowly like a forest fire under his rain; He was injured, captive..? If what he spoke was the truth, then her fears had almost become reality; He COULD have died! Aideen's chest deflated, the steel in her eyes melting as her sorrow found its way to the surface; "Coal..." She whispered, her voice full of pain. She couldn't speak, her throat was contracting like someone had closed their jaws around it. She looked at him with wide eyes, once more feeling tears press on. For the first time, she turned her gaze to Nina, trying to judge the one eyed woman's reaction to Coal's explanation, it would be her choice whether to believe him; Whether to welcome him back... Word count: 365 Thoughts ”Speech”

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As she listened to his tale, she continued to listen, her eyes cold and burning him. His story was tragic and while Nina's heart wanted to give him mercy, he had also made the mistake of not telling anyone of his travels. Yet, he still came back, and that offered promising signs to Nina. Hopefully, no mental disorder, much like Ashanti's, would pop up later in his stay within the pack, and though she did not favor what she had to do, she knew it had to be done, for the safety of Coal and the rest of her pack mates. Snorting softly, she turned her single-eyed gaze towards Aideen for a moment, to see what her take on this was, and when she heard her subordinate mutter pitiful words to her love, Nina's gaze snapped back towards the dark man, her lips formed into a thin, tight line as she waited for her words to catch up with her.

Sighing softly, she opened her jaws and let her cold voice flit through the open space, ”You may return, but you will be given the position of Lowest until I see fit. I don't care what anyone else says, especially Miccah. You do not move from your position of Lowest until I give you permission to. Now, you may once again return home.” Before she left, she leaned near Aideen's ear, wanting to acknowledge something that might become a problem, ”I wish for you to keep an eye on him. I am unsure of his mental stability and as a Healer it is your responsibility to keep track of his mental stability.” With a curt nod, the golden woman made her way back into her territory, allowing the two wolves to have their own reunion.

Ugh this sucks so much.

Returning had probably been a mistake. He should have gone somewhere else, found a new safe haven where no past stared back at him with expectations that could not be met. The idea had often come to the russet wolf but he had always ignored it. The instinct to return to his home and the longing to see Aideen again was too strong to push aside. And so he had ended up here, begging for acceptance before Nina. Before Aideen!

Coal felt crushed. He felt worthless. He was worthless. He tried to look into Aideen's eyes, to silently tell her how he felt, how it had all been a mistake, but she was looking away from him. Coal followed her gaze to Nina, the female alpha of the Woodlands whom he had never really tried to connect with. Maybe if he had...

Too many ifs!

Coal sighed, his huge body seeming to shrink even more if such a thing was possible. The silence held doom over him. He wanted to leave, to avoid the humiliation of rejection. But something kept his paws rooted there. Hope. He wouldn't abandon his pack when there was still hope.

Finally Nina answered. You may return. Coal's eyes widened but he refused to look up into the alpha's eyes. Refused to break the rules. At this time, a single second of disregard for them could be the end. Quietly listening while Nina demoted him to the lowest of the low, Coal didn't even care that his position wouldn't be favorable. He turned to Aideen, who was still looking at Nina as the other woman whispered a few words to her. A spark lit in his chocolate eyes, and a small, questioning grin returned to his mouth. Secret Woodlands had allowed him back in. Would his beloved allow him back as well?

Naww... I liked it <3 *snuggles*
- I figured we could end the thread here so he could be put back into the pack, and then we could make a new thread continued from this? :3

Nina hesitated, and by this time the fox colored girl knew enough about the pack's history to understand why. Too many had left before, too many had disregarded her trust and abandoned the Woodlands, and even when they came back they had not been able to explain themselves, they had made excuses... With all that in her past, how could the matriarch possibly trust Coal; How can I..? But looking at him, cowering like that, she felt her heart contract painfully, he didn't belong in a position like that, begging, he was a strong, confident man; My strong, confident man..! She believed his explanation. Even as the words resounded in her head, their story outlandish - her common sense yelling at her to realize the lie - she couldn't doubt his truthfulness; she didn't believe he would lie to her! Her eyes communicated as much, their copper depths still full of hurt, but simultaneously glowing with sympathy, tears blinking in them. In the end, Nina seemed to accept his story as well, though her voice was cold when she allowed him to cross the borders and return to his home. A faint glimmer of joy ran over Aideen's face, her tail swaying lightly, but before she could turn her gaze back to the sand-pelted male, the alphess met her eyes, stretching her muzzle to whisper in her ear. The reddish healer listened closely, a firm expression returning on her visage. As the leader finished, Aideen met her eye, nodding stiffly in understanding, mouth tight; I will! Then the queen left, and the two were left alone on the borders. Slowly, the small fae turned towards him, the tears dried out in her eyes, replaced by stiff determination. He smiled at her, and her heart melted in her chest, but she forced herself to remain stern. For a moment, she stared him down, her inside in turmoil, so many feelings competing to reach the surface. Meeting his dark eyes, she felt her lips quiver, her heart hammering against her ribs; My Coal... There were so many things she wanted to do; embrace him, strike him, yell at him, cry on his shoulder... In the end she simply swallowed, looking at him with steel in her eyes; "Come." Her voice was soft, resigned, not exactly forgiving, but not dismissive either. Then she turned and started walking back into the Thicket, not waiting to see whether he'd follow. Word count: 405 Thoughts ”Speech”

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