Hidden Tree so long to the headstrong

It had became a thinking place now, an area that Indru used to collect his thoughts to sort through and try to resolve any problems—it saddened him that this was all it was now. Hidden Tree had been his home for as long as he could remember, this den had been where he was born and this den had also once seemed like a prison in his desperation to escape it and explore the world as a pup, but Indru had never suspected he would miss it, what it represented, so much. A sigh escaped him and Indru couldn't help but to duck down, his rump still in the air, and peek into its depths. His eyes shut briefly as a flash of memories hit him in a wave, not only of his puphood but of all his younger siblings after him. This den, this home, that most likely looked like a disregarded hole to most wolves who had no idea of its significance, had at one time been the centre point of the Tainn family.

Both he and Ruiko swore that the sent of ashes still clung to this part of the Wildwood, however bizarre and impossible the idea seemed—but burning just seemed to cling to his nostrils when he was here and it seemed so much more real than a memory, and it had taken a while for the smell not to make Indru's heart race and his chest throb with equal parts pain and longing for his lost family. Evening was falling yet Indru could not tell you what had brought him here, he found it too easy to judge his mental well being and stress by the frequency of his visits; when times were tough it was here the leader would most commonly be found. Tensing his haunches Indru pulled his head from the den but he was unable to pull himself away from it, even with the memories it bought him comfort, this is where his parents had died—protecting their family—and in a way it felt like the closest connection that he had left. Perhaps it was answers he sought, his fathers sage advice, or perhaps it was just the comfort only his mother had been able to bring—whatever it was, the leader could not convince himself to leave and instead sat vigil and lost in thought outside.

(This post was last modified: Nov 20, 2011, 03:38 AM by Indru.)

<blockquote><i>sorry i did not do this sooner.</i>


Triell was aware things were not okay between him and Indy. He hadn't wanted to leave this awkward silence between them, but he didn't know how to fix it. The last thing he wanted to do was lose his temper, and make a split between them.

It was these thoughts that had him avoiding directly talking to Indru, at least without someone else there, and about what had passed between them. He had had the brief idea to leave with Kinis, Ruiko, and Volkan. But, as there was always a but, he didn't want to leave just because he didn't know what to do. What kind of message did that say about him? He had an inkling Ruiko might disaprove going on such terms. But something else had him hesitant ;the yearling had promised himself he would not leave Cori, or Swift River again. He was the only one aware of that promise, but to start over....to leave not only Indru but his nephews, and niece he would miss them to much to live away from them. What use would he be to Ruiko if he was traveling back, and forth all the time? Or if he stayed would he do that any way? He would surely miss not just one wolf, but three.

He was starting to miss the sweet innocence, the slight ability to be oblivious to every problem from the marks of a young mind. The clock never rolled backwards, and like a ticking second hand he pushed himself forward, following the Indru's trail like once before. This time he was determined to prove to his brother he could be mature....or he'd try.

Triell had no idea where Indru would go today, and when he realized where he was headed his heart itself seemed to tighten. <i>Hidden tree.</i> This might be a lot harder now. The dark wolf continued his quick stride before he could lose his nerve, and his large ears pulling back against his skull as if something was watching him.

When he saw Indru, his paws tread softly, and he stopped if only to observe his brother taking in what had been the Tainn family den.</blockquote>

are you with me through it all?

It'd didn't take long for Indru to notice the oh so familiar scent of his brother, it was a smell that he knew was ingrained into him as close as he was to the black wolf—beyond brothers in his eyes, though he was not so sure the feeling was reciprocated anymore. The fraternal feeling Indru felt for most of his siblings was strengthened with Triell, and Borlla too, he felt more paternal, more of a mentor, to both of them than just an older brother. Beyond the obvious ancestry Indru found it hard to distinguish between how he felt about his blood-born children and his two youngest siblings. Once Triell's scent had permeated the air, fresh now instead of the previous weaker, staler scents of him, the boy appeared through the gloom of the trees and Indru was pained to notice the unfamiliar awkwardness between them was still there.

The leader would have had to be blind to have missed the anxiety that Ruiko permeated now, as well as he knew his brother he could tell he was keen to leave, to mark out his own territory and as close as they were Indru was glad. He wished Ruiko to have his own pack—his brother had the desire to lead as much as he did—and Indru found it hard to be around him now, Ruiko's continuous disappointment in Indru was hard for him to hide (if he tried) and even more tiring and hard for Indru to face day after day. But worse was the feeling that Triell was disappointed in him, and a fear curled Indru's stomached whenever he thought that there was a chance Triell would leave with Ruiko, he knew that if it was the boys decision he wouldn't try to stop him but Indru knew already that the rejection would feel like one of the worst physical blows.

Hey, he called when Triell's form finally appeared, his voice soft and he knew he had failed to fully hide the dejected tone in it. A sad expression crossed Indru's face as he watched his brother, a soft sigh escaping him, and he turned to look down at the den he sat by sniffing it gently. I just thought I'd come here, think a little, it helps to clear my head. Probably always will, it was times like these, when he was at a loss as to how to fix things (does he push them, try to solve them, or will that only force his brother away? Would leaving them only give the same result as well?), that he missed his fathers cool voice able to give advice and his mothers soft comfort and ability to soothe his worries. Do you want me to leave? If it was time alone he wanted here Indru would not interrupt as little as he wanted to leave the boy if it was answers he sought, it felt wrong when he was used to knowing Triell's problems and how to fix them and not being the problem himself.

<blockquote>His black ears folded back at his brother's short greeting. If anything he suspected it, but he was hoping for something different. The look on Indru's face seemed to say it all, and Triell took a moment to collect himself...the last thing he wanted to do was have an outburst. When Indru turned back to the den he shuffled closer, his eyes taking in the new look of the Tainn family den, or what was left of it. Slowly his ears perked up, listening why Indru was here. Triell had never really thought of a specific reason for Indru's visit, but he nodded understanding why he did. He liked to come just to remember what he could, and somehow give his quiet respects to those no longer here. 

He blinked, and took a step back when Indru inquired if he wanted him to go. Gently clearing his throat, he shook his head while trying to find his voice. He could not, as he wasn't sure what to say just yet. Determined he walked over to Indru's side, and sat down. <b>"I can still remember..playing in there....trying to protect Kinis from Borlla."</b> His words were quiet, and didn't betray the emotions he felt. 

Silently he stared at the remains, letting the memories of his innocent youth come back. The silence carried on for a good length because he was not sure what he should say. Being quiet seemed almost full proof. He knew that wouldn't solve anything.  Cocking his head he peered at Indru from the corner of his eye. <b>"I'm sorry,"</b> he finally managed, wincing ever do slightly. </blockquote>

are you with me through it all?

♥ ♥

Softly, softly seemed to pound repeatedly through his mind, each look and each word were considered before they were performed, it was an alien feeling for Indru to have with Triell but he would take it if it meant that he could repair things with his brother. Indru wasn't quite sure when his black furred brother stopped being purely that—over time, as they had both grown older and in turn closer, he had come to mean so much more—a best friend, an advisor and most of all a son. Never the less he was so thankful for him and he hadn't realised just how much he needed him until they had been on the odds. The leader was pleased that the boy had memories of Hidden Tree, he would have not long been out of the den by the time the fire had struck and took their parents, but the thought that Triell still had those memories was more precious to Indru that his brother would most likely realised. He had never wanted to replace their parents, he was fully aware that he could never live up to Rihael (Sr.), but he had wanted to try and look after them all as much as he was able.

That's you alright, Triell, he smiled with genuine warmth, eyes lifting to meet his dark brother's in response to the memory he shared, even then he could remember Triell's determination. You were always strong, much stronger than I am. It was not self-pity that resonated in Indru's words but genuine truth, it was his young siblings that he had drawn courage from when it had fallen upon him to be responsible for the family—he had looked after them, but he had needed them too, and after that, when they had grown, it had been Triell that he relied on most. At the young boys apology he watched with small confusion at his meekish expression, unsure why he looked almost ashamed saying it, and Indru was unsurprised to feel a burning in the back of his throat. Not half as sorry as I am, and he meant that too, he meant every word. I'm so sorry. He shook his head abruptly, large paws stepping closer to his brother so that they stood only wolf-lengths away. I put too much on you, I rely on you too much—I didn't realise how much I needed you. I'm so sorry. His breath was ragged in his guilt but he knew that it needed to be said, he could not stand his brother being disappointed in him anymore, hating him perhaps, not Triell. You are much more to me than just a brother, I think of you no different to how I think of Hael or Fen. You're my son just as much as those two are. I weight your opinion no less than Cori's—you're my best friend just as she is.You fill all these roles and yet I disappointed you. His gaze, which had been upon his paws or the trees, or his brothers shoulder, just anywhere but Triell's face not met his brothers golden eyes and the weight of his apology hung in his fiery ones. He had always imagined Triell being his right hand, the pack's second, when he was older but never had he felt less deserving of him in that role.

And now I ask one more thing, he took another step until he could push his nose tightly against his brothers cheek, placing a lick upon his muzzle before he pulled back, for you to forgive me if you're able.

<blockquote>A hint of a grin tickled at his lips, hearing what could have been pride in his brother's voice. He had always thought himself a protector of those in need, like the time he had helped Ozera out of Hidden Grotto. Or when he had returned home, and had made a grab for Weldering because he had snapped at Indru. He'd been half-grown, but couldn't stand by waiting for someone else to help.

There was definate surprise to his black mask, when Indru said Triell was stronger them him. If anything Triell could hardly believe that, but he couldn't ignore the honest tone in which they were spoken. <b>"Maybe,"</b> he said, not wanting to disagree, and cause a further break between them. <b>"But, I wouldn't be....without you."</b> He tipped his face, to peer at him with both eyes, his own honesty in the sentence. If it were not for the sacrifice of Indru, Ruiko, and Niija the yearling doubted he would be alive, or even close to who he was. If anything he had been brave, finding strength from their example, and Indru's because of how he continued to find the silver lining in the darkest of storm clouds.

He swallowed trying to keep his emotions low, as he waited for what Indy would say to his apoligy. He felt guilty about the way he had spoken to him, and how he had not stayed in Swift River, that is why he had a hard time saying it because he wanted to say so much more. Sorry hardly seemed to cover, what was beneath the surface. Eyes slightly widened when instead Indru said how sorry he was. Black head lowered slightly, but he kept his eyes upon his brother, weighing each word as it was said.

To his core he believed Indru, and felt the love for his brother warm his heart, it almost overshadowed his own guilt he felt for believing otherwise. He held his tongue, because he had no mind to interupt. When Indru drew near, he licked his brother's cheek in return, pausing slightly to meet his fiery stare. <b>"I understand, and I can forgive you...as long as you know I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped at you like that...and I should have been here for Cori. I know that, but I want you to know I meant what I said when I told you, you are my hero, and always will be."</b></blockquote>

are you with me through it all?

A smile curled Indru's muzzle at his brothers response, it seemed more like agreement to prevent any more arguments (not that he'd argue with him any more) than actually believing in it, but he was not surprised. After all, Triell's modesty was part of that strength that Indru saw in him, as n adult in the Swift River ranks he knew his brother would achieve great things. We make a great team, he replied, his orange eyes watching Triell's fondly—it was an undeniable truth, where before it had been he and Ruiko, as the brothers had matured and drifted with their mutual desire to lead Triell had slowly begun to fill the void Ruiko had left behind just as strongly. But the truth of Triell's words was right—it was family which made the Tainn's strongest of all. We make the best team, actually. A teasing grin broke his muzzle and he flashed Triell his teeth in the process as he tried to lighten the mood between them, never before had the two been only melancholy when they met.

The older Tainn bumped his nose against Triell's affectionately as his brother spoke, the relief that broke through him seemingly lifting a weight from his shoulders he had realised was there when he had been on the odds with Triell. And you're mine too, buddy. Our parents, they'd be so proud of you, I'm so proud of you. Indru's tail waved behind him at terrific pace, a excited yet undeniably happy growl escaping from his chest. Shooting his neck forward quickly he tried to grab Triell's muzzle playfully in his jaws; hoping to shake it gently in a gesture that had not partaken in for a good while. I missed you, I really did. He gasped between growls as he dropped down onto his forelegs, rump sticking up in the air behind him, his tail a proudly waving behind him. It seemed all forgiven and forgotten, though Indru knew the two brother's relationship had shifted—almost as it had marked Triell's true entrance into adulthood in Indru's eyes, he saw him truly as an equal now like he did Ruiko, instead of just as the younger brother he knew and loved. He was not far off truly being an adult now, in all sense of the word, and Indru relished for the day that Triell entered the adult ranks completely.

<blockquote><b>"We do,"</b> he admitted, and a final grin broke from his lips. Images flashed through his mind, Weldering, the two trespassers, and their often sparring rounds. They had always been together one way or another, as he had not forgotten how devasted he had been when thinking Indy had left without him at a time before either of them new Corinna. He had only missed him when he had gone missing in action, hoping to find him. Now, everyone was almost together again as an even bigger family. A dark brow was raised, and his topaz eyes were giving Indru a careful glance at his flash of teeth. He again wasn't sure if he could agree with to that, feeling Indru, and Cori topped Indru and Triell. Neither could he deny how well he worked beside his Indy. He, and Kinis had their moments, if they weren't trying to outbest each other. Black tail playfully twitched behind him, ready for Indru to pounce. <b>"I guess so,"</b> he managed to agree, his grin growing more in delight.

He welcomed the nudge of his brother, and was sure their fight was nothing but in the past. When Indy spoke of next the twinge of his own pride seemed to rise in his chest upon hearing those words. He could not deny them, and sheepishly bowed his head not knowing what to say. It was all he had ever wanted to do, was make his family proud, and to hear it it last seemed to release his own doubts he had had about himself. He was lost in these thoughts, Indru caught him off guard, and his muzzle was in his brother's teeth. It took a lot not to instinctively pull away, but he managed a laugh rumbling in his throat until Indy let go. He took his own playful bow then, his black tail tossing in the breeze like a happy banner of vicotory. A coarse growl bubbled in his own throat in tune with the playful tones of Indru almost like a familiar song. <b>"I missed you too, brother,"</b> he said, a new brightness to his eyes. Before so much as a second of silence passed, he instead took the oppertunity to pounce at Indru, trying to playfully nudge his brother's chest with the top of his skull.</blockquote>

(This post was last modified: Jan 29, 2012, 10:52 PM by Triell.)

are you with me through it all?

♥

Being on the outs with his brother had effected Indru more than he realised. As the mood between them shifted from tense and apologetic towards their usual happy, playful socialisations Indru felt a noticeable difference in his mood, a weight lifted from him. We do, he confirmed with a smile at Triell's slight agreement. While he would have no other leading by his side than Cori, Triell he had no doubt would only strengthen the pack were he to take the role of the pack's second. You're going to be in adult ranks soon Triell. You'd make a great second if you wanted too. Though as eager as Indru was to test his brother in this role (as what was a better preparation for leadership) he would not push him, part of Triell making a good second would be making the decision to challenge the current holder of the rank in the first place.

The soft muzzle grab was meant playfully and he was pleased that they were once again in such a place as to take it as so, Indru knew the playful contact would only continue to strengthen and repair the cracks that had appeared between them. Triell bowed and Indru replicated the gesture, his teeth flashing in a grin as his tail waved behind him, still held highly as to show his rank. Joy washed over him at Triell's words and confounded him enough for his reaction to Triell's move to be delayed, letting his brothers skull push against his chest like he had intended. With a growl Indru flicked up his left foreleg hoping to hook it over the back of Triell's neck and shoulders to allow himself to rear up on his back and nip and his nape and ears affectionately, enjoying the harmless play with his brother.

<blockquote>He analyzed Indru closely. Before Marsh had come he remembered being a bit smaller, and the same idea being spoken. He was honored his brother hadn't changed in his mind, but he questioned his own readiness. The fact Marsh was in the spot, and Triell could only have it if he won against the chestnut elder had him thinking it would have to wait. He had no mind to push Marsh from it. If anything he felt it right Marsh was there instead, as Triell had a lot more to learn. Perhaps a challenge would be good to prepare him, and see just how far or close he was. <b>"Maybe one day,"</b> he said, feeling his words were right. His birthday would be here soon enough.

Skull met the broad, plush chest and he was quickly caught in a grasp getting himself nibbled on. Playfully snorts vibrated into the cream of Indy's fur, and he made a couple fake attemps to escape. Then slowly he pulled himself to his haunches, a quiet expression settling his onyx features. <b>"What was mom like Indy?"</b> Patience, gentle, warmness, and love were the sharpest things in his mind. He wanted to hear about her from Indru's point of view. Triell knew she had a black coat like him, but he couldn't remember the color of her eyes. Or what she may have done if she wasn't in the den tending them. Had she been a great hunter? Was she a fighter too?</blockquote>

are you with me through it all?