Fool's Gold Chasm Reach up to the sky

For @Woya backdated to 11/20

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had a dream so big and loud

JUMPED SO HIGH I TOUCHED THE CLOUDS

It had been prickling at her, like bugs crawling under her fur and tugging at its roots. Her conversation with Marrah the day she'd left haunted her dreams - and sometimes her nightmares. She loved her sisters, but... they didn't seem to need her. They had Woya, and that's all they knew. She was the only mother they'd ever know, no matter how many stories Enera tried to tell them.

She was restless here.

Enera couldn't take it anymore; she couldn't keep bottling it up. She padded to where she knew Woya would be, resting with her children and Adelard, and called out softly. "Woya... could I speak with you?"

She didn't know where else to turn right now.

(This post was last modified: Nov 28, 2022, 03:44 AM by Enera. Edit Reason: backdate )

There was something a little different in the girl's voice when she called to her, and Woya felt her shoulders twitch with apprehension. Still, she remained at ease externally, smiling to Adora who lay tangled with her forelimbs and nudging her to move so that she could stand. She nibbled at Lard's ear briefly and then trotted to Enera, motioning to somewhere a bit more secluded within the cavern.

"What is it hun?" Woya asked, a smile pressed onto her lips as she hoped that it wasn't too significant of a conversation. There was little that could be taken for granted, however, especially after Marrah left them...

had a dream so big and loud

JUMPED SO HIGH I TOUCHED THE CLOUDS

Enera's stomach twisted as she watched Woya untangle herself from Adora and affectionately nibble at Ad's ear. It was the picture of a family - a family she felt she no longer fit into. Adelard was still dad to her, but with how everything had been lately...

To her immense relief Woya moved to a more secluded spot, where they could talk in relative privacy. Even so, Enera kept her voice down to avoid an echo. "I've just... been really restless, lately. I'm not sure what to do."

She had thoughts on that, of course, but the Rayvne girl wasn't sure she could do it yet. She couldn't go without a blessing, that was for sure. With the way Marrah had departed and how Woya had handled that... Enera couldn't do that to her. She couldn't leave with nary a word. If she went, she would make her goodbyes and promises before setting off.

She wouldn't just disappear... if she decided to leave at all.

Restless? Woya turned the word over in her mind, not exactly sure what to make of it. It certainly wasn't a positive thing, and only served to encourage her anxieties. With the maturity her six years had granted her, however, she was able thus far to not make that Enera's problem. There was no part of her that wished to replace Rhaegara in any sense, but at this point Enera was practically considered one of her own. No matter how one looked at it, she was family. Woya would attempt to be as strong for her as she would any of the younger children.

"Restless how?" she asked with little more to her voice than a soft inquisitiveness. She hoped not to make Enera feel hushed or shamed, no matter what she might be about to confess.

had a dream so big and loud

JUMPED SO HIGH I TOUCHED THE CLOUDS

She could feel it in Woya's gaze, the concern of a mother. She'd felt it often enough in her own mama's gaze... her mama who was gone, who could never come back to her. Not even in her sisters, whom she had spent all summer trying to protect and care for instead of helping her sister-friend, instead of paying attention to her.

Enera sighed. "I don't... I don't know what to say," she confessed. "This is my home. My family, but... maybe Marrah was right." She looked away, afraid to meet Woya's eye. She wasn't afraid of the older woman the way she was as a child - hadn't been for a long time. Today she was afraid to see disappointment, hurt, anger; whatever might come of this revelation.

Every word was a further push in the one direction she'd most feared, and then- Enera referenced her niece and Woya felt as though her heart had stopped. Maybe Marrah was right. Right about what? The twins? Leaving? Or had she told Enera something more that she'd kept from all of them? The leader was struggling to choose amongst the many words and phrases swirling around inside her head, grief picking up like a whirlwind as she caved in to fearing the worse.

Outwardly, her voice shook, ever so slightly.

"What did she say?"

She hadn't asked these questions before, and she was afraid she wouldn't much like the answers. Still, they were unavoidable now, weren't they?

had a dream so big and loud

JUMPED SO HIGH I TOUCHED THE CLOUDS

Enera didn't have the stomach to look up at Woya, even if all she wanted at this moment was her comfort. The comfort of a mother - any mother - to help her make this decision. Only, her mind was half made up; she just needed... something. Permission, maybe, or at least a blessing. The option to come back, if she wanted to. She didn't want to abandon them, but that's what she would be doing even if Woya did agree to let her go.

"It's not so much what she said," Enera started, "but what she implied. By leaving." She finally looked up at her leader. "We don't... belong here, anymore." It hurt to stay, the words prying themselves from her mouth like twisting thorns, but now that she'd said it... it felt like an undeniable truth.

It seemed Woya would not so easily find out what exactly had driven Marrah away without a proper goodbye. It was what her leaving implied, Enera insisted, before saying the words aloud. They stunned her momentarily, mostly because of her phrasing. Perhaps she were misunderstanding, but the worn and weary woman could still hope.

The words didn't quite leap to her tongue, sandy eyes drifted briefly toward the ground in thought first. She would be speaking for them all, and perhaps that was wrong, especially without Adelard's input. Would he really have a chance at swaying her, though? Especially if his wife and his eldest both advocated for the same thing?

"En, honey... we can move."

She would have told Marrah just the same, would go anywhere so long as it meant keeping together what little she had left of her family. Woya had grown to love the Chasm deeply, because of who it was home to. Without them, it meant nothing.

(This post was last modified: Nov 28, 2022, 03:18 AM by Woya.)

had a dream so big and loud

JUMPED SO HIGH I TOUCHED THE CLOUDS

There was no quick answer, no swift shooting down of her statement. Instead Woya thought, and for a moment that hurt more than anything else. When the leader finally did speak, it wasn't what Enera had expected, as much as she'd expected anything.

Move? She stared at the smaller woman in confusion for a moment before realizing how her words might have sounded - how Woya might have made them to sound. The thought made what she'd really come to say all the harder. "That's not..." her breath hitched as she was suddenly struggling to remain calm. "You belong here, you and dad and the littles... but this place isn't for us anymore, me and Marrah."

She'd thought it might be better if she rushed it, if she spilled it all at the same time. It wasn't.

"I don't belong here anymore."

You belong here. Woya deflated at the words, what was left of her smile finally falling away completely and always-fidgeting tail stilling. With each claim, Enera put up a wall between herself and Macieo-Geraus, separating them. She found it abhorrent, but also couldn't help but recognize that there was nothing to be done about it. Despite having claimed she wasn't sure, it seemed Enera was very much decided on what she wanted her next step to be.

She regarded the young girl in silence, uncertain of what to say. Familar bad habits prodded at her, urging that she protect herself by cutting ties here and now. Woya fought back against them, closing her eyes momentarily before finally gathering the words. It hurt all the more that @Adelard was so near, oblivious to what more he was losing.

"... no, Enera. I don't belong here, either."

She belonged with the wolves she loved, so long as they wanted her.

"I... don't understand why you kids keep thinking this is the answer, but I know some things you just... gotta find out on your own. If your minds made up, that's that, I guess."