Turtleback Lake two times over

For @Jethro
March 11th, late night just before midnight, clear sky, -11F/-23C

Finley didn’t know the details of what had happened between Siyet and Jethro after that sunset she and the man had watched together. She could only take the smallest clues and put them together, like the woman’s fading scent within the territory. She could be just taking some space and then coming back or she could be gone for good, but Finley could only assume that meant the conversation between the betrothed had not gone well.

The mother felt guilty and had been trying to keep herself busy, especially because she didn’t feel as guilty as she should. Did she feel badly that Siyet was probably hurt? Yes. Was she also happy that meant she might have the opportunity to have a family and explore where things would go with Jethro? Definitely yes. And she couldn’t keep “keeping busy” anymore, she needed to speak with Jethro and potentially other things. Spring had sprung, and with it had brought the familiar feeling of her heat.

There was no way for her to leave a note for Jethro. Instead she left as far as she could while still being within earshot and then called for him to meet her at the lake. Now she just had to wait, stomach filled with nervous butterflies. Finley wasn’t sure entirely what she was so nervous about, but it was hard for her to keep her paws still and not to pace about.

The dark one wandered well into the night.

His head felt like it was spinning. Check that - the damn whole world did. So very much had happened in just the last couple of weeks, things he hadn’t anticipated only a couple of short months ago. It’d awakened the sorts of memories and elicited emotions Jethro hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Anger was the most prominent of all, but that’d faded, to a degree. Guilt, sadness, betrayal. He’d never wanted any of this, he certainly hadn’t intended it. He’d tried to ignore it, to avoid it, to prevent it. But none of it had worked, and intentions didn’t matter now. Mistakes had been made, feelings hurt, and relationships crushed.

It all hung heavily on his mind. Weighed on his shoulders oppressively, pressing him to the point where he felt as if he couldn’t breathe, and he needed to just get out. The walls of their home, once seeming cozy, now felt claustrophobic as reality had set in. He needed an escape.

Finley. A distant call. He couldn’t not go. Especially not if something was wrong. Jet ran, darting through the forest like a shadow, until the forest thinned and the frozen lake became visible. He arrived on the shore panting but far from out of breath. A cold wind assaulted him absent the cover of the trees, but it carried with it her trail.  

She was waiting, as Siyet had been. A part of him longed to go forth and embrace her, but his paws remained frozen, as the heartwrenching scene that'd unfolded here only a few days ago flashed before his eyes. He could still see Siyet's saddened form hovering over the water. Weeping. The sounds of their words and shouts echoed in his ears, too.

He couldn’t. Not here - not with those memories still so fresh in mind.

Wordlessly he turned away, and ventured back into the forest.

The Lennox woman waited for what seemed like forever given her current predicament and the anxiety brewing in her belly. She let out a long slow breath before inhaling steadily, and that was when she noticed the man’s scent in the air. Turning around quickly green eyes scanned the trees only to see his form turned away and moving away from her. Confusion filled her expression and she took a step forward, why didn’t he say anything?

Oh.

Maybe she had made the wrong assumptions and Siyet was just taking some space to let things….take place. Sniffling back a wave of emotion she called out, ”Jethro! Wait.” If this was how it was going to be, she deserved to be told face to face that she was second place. She could take it, but she deserved to know.

Cream coloured paws carried her forward towards Jethro, her expression unreadable as she tried to catch up with him. She just needed him to wait, needed to have a conversation with him so they could figure out what this was, if anything. If it was done then, well she could find a way to make that be okay too, but she wasn’t going to be left alone in the dark and the cold any longer.

He broke into a run again, as fast as he could. Darting back through the woods, kicking up snow, leaving an obvious trail in his wake. Away from the lake, and away from the falls, too. He heard Finley call to him, distantly, but he didn’t stop. Didn’t know if she’d pursue him or not.

A part of him hoped so. Jet hoped for a chance to explain. To talk, to tell her why he couldn’t be there, to figure things out. And he didn’t want to be alone, now - but it just couldn’t be there. That was too soon. He slowed to a stop again, finally, once the lake was far enough behind him that he could no longer even detect the scent of water. Along with it, the memories finally started to fade away.

With it, Jet finally permitted himself to rest beside a tree after circling it, studying the way he’d come. Though his chest burned at the effort of having just run so much, he held his breath for a time, ears trained forth, to catch any sound of pursuit or movement in his direction. Or, potentially, lack thereof. Here, he'd wait, and see. Would she follow him this far?  

(This post was last modified: Mar 12, 2023, 02:57 AM by Jethro.)

Finley was close enough to see that Jethro was actually running away from her after she had called out for him. It made her pause and stare after his disappearing form for a minute. What was so bad that he would actually be fleeing rather than having a conversation with her? Ears flattened against her skull as she tried to decide what to do. The polite part of her, the part that did what everyone else wanted screamed at her to leave him alone, he clearly wanted space.

But, she was trying not to give into that voice all the time anymore. Jethro had been helping her with that. So in the end, it was the quieter voice, the one that said she deserved what she wanted too, or at least deserved answers that won out. Day by day that voice was getting a little stronger, a little louder, Finley was starting to listen to it a little more. It didn’t always matter what others wanted her to do, sometimes it was about her and what she deserved, what she had earned.

And tonight that was at least a conversation, and some dignity. So she wouldn’t run, but she would follow. Trotting behind his trail in the snow, which was easy enough to track, she took her time, hoping he would be composed enough to speak when she arrived. And arrive she eventually did, standing amongst the trees, lake so far behind them she could no longer hear or see it, she saw him. Coming to a stop she questioned, ”Why did you run?” It was all she could think to say.

Seconds passed, and at first, there was nothing. Nothing except for his own heart beat and breaths that he could no longer hold. The faint noise of the wind whistled through and rattled the trees around him, but otherwise, there was silence. A peaceful, dark silence. Taking some time to just breathe helped.

Already Jet pondered what he’d say, how he’d explain that action as well as what’d happened with Siyet. In the end though, he didn’t really have any options aside from the truth. Half-truths and assumptions had gotten him into this mess of emotion, so they were to be avoided at all costs.

By the time Fin arrived, he’d become so deep in thought that he almost didn’t notice her on the horizon. Not until she was close. She hadn’t run, but she had followed. A part of him was deeply touched. He took a step forth.

”Cause that’s where Siyet and I last spoke. I just don’t wanna be there right now,” the dark one spoke his answer softly. It wouldn’t be right, for this to start where that had ended. Finley had understood him before. Jet hoped she would understand that sentiment, too.

Jethro stepped towards her and the mother paused for a moment, allowing him to answer the question before making her move. She wanted to question him further, ask why he didn’t just tell her that instead of taking off, but the look in his eyes was enough. Finley moved a single step forward, they were slowly closing the gap between them, and the air felt heavy, but in a good way she couldn’t quite explain.

She accepted why he had run, she didn’t want him thinking about Siyet right now anyways. She knew she was certainly doing her best not to think about the woman that had been hurt inadvertently by their feelings. She let out a breathy question instead, ”what do you want?” That was all she needed to hear, all she needed to know. If the answer wasn’t her then there was no need to drag this out any longer and she would go back to being a good pack member and mother and tell that little persistent voice to be quiet.

But, if it was her. If it was her then they could figure everything else out eventually. She just needed to know.

He’d gotten a handle on the emotions, but they were still there. However, Finley’s presence, her step forth, and silent acceptance of the explanation offered without question. Finally, finally, with that, when Jethro let out a breath, he felt some of the tension fade away. Along with some of the guilt, at the question Finley did eventually pose.

What did he want?

Such a simple question, yet so very complex and hard to answer. Right now, at this particular point in time, there was really only one thing. Jet moved forth again, and didn’t stop until he’d aligned himself with her, close enough to tuck his head against her shoulder and lean in for the embrace he’d thought about earlier.

”To not be alone. To find out what we are, and make it worth it.” Worth the hurt, the guilt, and the suffering he’d caused Siyet. Unintentionally so, but that didn’t matter.

”And you?” He questioned softly, pulling back so he could observe Finley’s emotions and reactions.

Feel free to fade to black in your next post unless he has more questions <3

He closed the gap between them and the Lennox woman leaned gladly into his embrace. She tucked her own head up against his shoulders and pulled him in closer, breathing in the scent that she had begun to think of as home. She smiled against his fur at his answer, hardly believing that this was her life. So different than it had been a year ago, so different than it had been even just a few weeks ago. No more stolen glances and feeling wrong about what in her head seemed so right.

He pulled away and though Finley desperately wanted to be thought of as composed, poised, graceful even, none of that was clear in her expression. When she spoke her voice was earnest and full of emotion, ”I want you and I want children that we both can love because they’re parts of each of us.” She didn’t want to be apart anymore.

Finley reached forward to bury her forehead in his shoulder and she whispered, ”That’s more than enough for me, more than I ever could have dreamt to ask for. The rest we can figure out later.” She closed her eyes, ready to hear anything else he had to say, and if he was in agreeance, to spend the night together now and solidify the budding romance.

Whatever this was now, whatever it would or wouldn’t turn out to be, it felt good. Everything else faded away. All of the worries, guilt, the anxieties. Her answer brought back a feeling of warmth to his heart then, that Jet hadn’t felt for a while. Maybe ever. She wanted him. And children they could both love and cherish.

”Me too,” he breathed out the agreement, relishing the closeness and warmth. That was all he’d ever wanted. While it wouldn’t be occurring in quite the same way he’d thought it was going to less than a couple of months ago, it still finally felt like everything was going to be alright.

There was a long way to go. A lot ahead of them. He had questions still, of course. A lot of them, but Fin was right. The rest of it, they could figure out later. Jet wasn’t going to spoil this moment with any of that.

-nope.. fade!