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kill the boy, let the man be born — Swift River 
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Played by Grey who has 322 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Fenru Donata
Kill Them All
never forget who you are
fenru tainn
for surely the world will not

March 18th; Nightfall; Partly Cloudy; 12° F/-11° C

It was funny how time often fled within a blink of an eye, yet dragged at the most darkest of hours. For Fenru Tainn, his coming of age was both anticipated and dreaded. At about this time last year - so many, many months ago - the youth had nearly drowned when the River uncharacteristically swelled and claimed the only home he had known. Now, a year later, here, the young Tainn stood amidst the wreckage that had once been the place of his birth. His amber eyes scanned the broken branches and stared at the depression in the riverbank where the entrance to the den had once been; though darkness did well in cloaking the area, it was no match for his lupine eyes and every detail before him was easily picked out in the gloom.

His heart sank, merely wondering if Kisla had ever come here to grieve for the past, to be alone with her thoughts, to wonder about Rihael... His nose twitched and his nostrils flared, whatever information could be perceived went acknowledged then became forgotten in an instant. He found that he no longer cared - about Indru or Rihael or Torrel or Rissa - his lost family had been mourned (however poorly) and, with their passing, Fenru realized that the empty shell he had become over the past year had to be addressed. Where there should have been joy, a certain sadness filled his heart; where there should have been tranquility, an unquenchable fire raged; where there was once a love so brilliant, ashes and embers smoldered and sparked.

He took a feeble step forward to where he used to rest on the warm summer nights, waiting for his mother to return. A sniff signaled that he had cast the simple memory away. All these long months, during the year of his adolescence, he had done nothing but remember. He remembered what it was like to nearly starve to death while Indru had abandoned him the first time, and he remembered what it was like to feel whole when Indru and his uncles and aunts returned to Swift River. He remembered what happiness felt like, how crippling fear could be, and how deep his devotion to his family surged. Fenru Tainn, the thinker of his litter and the most reserved of his siblings, had, at last, come to a breaking point. If he was to be a man in his own right, then keeping his memories and cherishing what little life threw at him would not do...

He walked around the small site, eyed the boulders one last time and discarded the memories tied to the forgotten den. After taking a couple of deep breaths to affirm that he was ready for what he was about to propose, he let loose the song he had been singing since the day of his arrival to Relic Lore: a request for his mother, @Corinna.


FENRU TAINN
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Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)
Played by Shadow who has 477 posts.
Inactive Deceased
Corinna Donata
<3 Sorry for the delay in this.

Gone Tomorrow

The cycle never seemed to stop going; of course, that was a definition of a cycle, wasn't it? Spring was beginning to come again, and though the snow was still firm underfoot, the sun had begun to share a few more minutes with the inhabitants of Relic Lore. Corinna had bid the sun goodbye with a solemn nod as it had slipped beyond the trees, to return again in several hours. And with the sun's falling, she had risen from her resting spot. More of a nocturnal creature, the River leader had settled herself away beneath a pine tree to catch up on rest. It had been a light slumber, but it was sleep.

Lowering the front half of her body down into a low bow, a sly smile crossed the female's lips as she felt the stretch in her back and leg muscles. Rising back up to her full posture she kicked out her left hind leg, duplicating the comfortable feeling of the stretch. Following suit with her right hind leg, she returned to a standing position, peering around at her surroundings. Nothing seemed out of place, which was always welcome news. Tensions were always high around this time of year, and Corinna had noticed herself growing increasingly aggressive towards her fellow pack mates. It seemed that the message had been made clear and her subordinates had given their matriarch plenty of room to rest on her own without disturbance.

With a huff, Corinna set off at a slow run, passing quietly between the trees. Darting in and out, she navigated more by scent than sight. There was not a trail within Swift River's territory that she was not intimately familiar with, and that familiarity allowed her to pick up on the abnormalities with relative ease. Rounding one tree in particular, she caught the scent of her remaining son, @Fenru. Without thinking, her tail wagged behind her, as it always did when she thought of her children. Having lost half of them, her remaining three were even more treasured, if that was even possible. As it was, his mother was already on her way after him when Fenru called, the sound of his voice increasing Corinna's speed.

After only a few minutes on the trail, Cori noticed the direction in which she was headed. Towards the old den, where Fenru, Kisla, and Rihael had been born. That place held more memories for her than anywhere else within the territory, both good and bad. It had been a long time since she had ventured back there, precisely for those reasons. This was where she had lain in wait, desperately hoping for Indru's return so she could eat and therefor feed her newly born cubs and it was also the place where mother nature had almost drowned Corinna's entire first litter.

The trees thinned out slightly the closer she got to the old den site, and with each step Fenru's scent grew gradually stronger. With a low wolf, his mother announced her presence, emerging from the trees and searching for him. Picking him out against the pale snow, she adjusted her path, making a beeline straight for him, the smile growing on her face as she approached. Tail wagging as she drew up level with him, she licked his cheek affectionately as she always did when seeing her son. "Fen," she cooed, taking a step back to give him his room and so she could watch him.

Played by Grey who has 322 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Fenru Donata
<3
never forget who you are
fenru tainn
for surely the world will not

As always, the Tainn did not have to wait for long, and the sound of eager footsteps pressed against his ears in the stillness of the night. His rust-tipped ears drew forward casting his gaze in direction opposite of Corinna's approach. Her scent, a source of comfort despite its vernal change, reached him first. His muzzle craned downward, solely listening for her to draw closer. Quietly, he swallowed, tearing his eyes away from the forest floor and into his mother's face when she announced her arrival.

He immediately shifted his pupils away from her, closing his eyes briefly in gratitude that she had come. The swaying of her tail beat against the air and it prompted his own to wriggle about behind him. Fenru glanced at her again, taking in her smile and cherishing it for the time being. It seemed like it had been forever ago since he had seen her grin or simper; he took it as a sign that things were finally looking up. Though, with this realization, he had to daven that whatever he was about to ask of her would not dampen her spirits once more.

The kiss to his cheek was appreciated and he let it show by brandishing a smile of his own, the stark black line on each side of his muzzle curling upward until she pulled away. The first syllable of his name, his nickname, left her tongue and he responded with a low, affectionate whimper. Like a magnet, he stepped forward when she drew back, feeling her eyes on him as his ears briefly lowered and he needfully connected the bridge of his nose and brow to her chin. Fenru had always known what it was like to be accepted, to be well-loved and unconditionally cared for, but instincts he had nurtured and honed still drove him to strive for Corinna's approval and garner her respect like any subordinate in her care would. The moment he no longer touched her, he shuffled back to allow her to look him over.

"Mother," he breathed, his tone wholly indicative of how glad he was that, for the moment, he had her all to himself. "I... I want..." A breath was pushed from his lungs, escaping the depths of his throat in a puff of moisture. It dissipated within seconds, vanishing into the cool night air, and he looked to her solemnly, searching her face immediately for any signs of worry or concern. "I want to ask you something."


FENRU TAINN
template made by GINNYSAURUS. of RPG-D.

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)
Played by Shadow who has 477 posts.
Inactive Deceased
Corinna Donata

Gone Tomorrow

Of all of her children, Fenru had been by far the most affectionate. Perhaps because he had been the baby for the first year of his life or maybe it was just his nature. Regardless the reason, Corinna enjoyed the relief from her internal anxiety as her youngest son beamed at her and nuzzled her chin. Behind him, his tail echoed his delight, and her own matched him, batting the air easily as it swept from side to side. For a long time, looking at Fenru reminded her so much of Indru, but as he stepped back and she was able to see his whole face, she was delighted to see that her son was not merely a doppelganger of her departed mate. His father was there, that much would never change so long as Fenru lived, but the facial expression and the eyes - no, they were solely Fenru's and that gave her great comfort, more than she was willing to admit, even to herself.

Gray tipped ears perking as Fenru spoke up, she refocused her attention onto his eyes. Her black lips had twisted upwards, a smile offered to her youngest son. The curiosity was there though, her head tilted to the left as it often did when she was curious or confused. It wasn't like Fenru to be short of her words, and the curiosity grew as she waited for him to finish his sentence. What was it he wanted? Did it matter? If it was within her feasible power, Corinna would deny her son nothing. "What is it, my dear?" As the rest of Fenru's words filled the night air, she couldn't help but answer him, her tone rather bemused and curious. She took a half step forward, her hind legs collapsing beneath her as her flanks hit the snow so she could sit.

Played by Grey who has 322 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Fenru Donata
never forget who you are
fenru tainn
for surely the world will not

"Mum," the word slipped out and Fenru half-winced, his eyes shifting to the landscape behind her as an excuse to truly determine whether or not the question he had in mind was the one he wanted to ask. "I-I can't stay here..." That wasn't a question; and, suddenly, all at once, the solemn facade he bore cracked. He ground his molars together, his brows touching to press the two ivory spots on his forehead against one another. "I can't." He exhaled, his jaws parted as he looked into Corinna's face.

"Everyone else is so..." he struggled to come up with the words, his large forepaws digging into the cold soil in frustration. "They're so... They're so much more than I am." He had meant to say "worldly" or "more experienced," and as it stood, he wondered if the Leader would interpret the sentence as coming from her 'baby boy,' something Fenru did not want. He growled, whining immediately to cut the sound short. This was much harder than he had anticipated; he had already blown the "grown-up" front that had taken a little over a month to procure. He would have to start over again... and start now if he was ever going to see his request granted.

"Rissa is gone!" he vented, scrabbling for the right starting point. "Rihael and Torrel. Gone! Indru an' Uncle Kenai! Uncle Kinis and Aunt Borlla!" The list was clipped and for a second Fenru wondered if the list would ever end. "They're gone," he breathed, shaking as he still stood. He even began to consider if this was what Rihael had felt if he had actually left home on his own accord. "And I'm... I'm still here."

What anger had flared up had been smothered, and in turn a somber sort of sadness and yearning took its place. "I'm asking for your permission to leave Swift River. There is nothing left here or in the lands around the Grove anymore. For me." He panted in attempt to steady his heartbeat but it continued to thump furiously in his desire to lay out everything he had kept pent up inside him for his mother to understand. "Ice, among a few others, has taught me the basics of what I need to know - to live and survive. Aiyana and Kisla have each other, the Swiftpaws and everyone else have their duties. But... what about me?"

His ears lowered, more than half-expecting Corinna to understand that he felt singled out, that he had felt like an outcast for as long as he could remember. At least Ice had made him feel special in that sort of sense, but it was not enough to provide him the strength he ached for. "There is nothing left here for me," he repeated, his voice still soft. "Let me see the world for myself," he pleaded, his tone beseeching his superior further. "All my life, all I've ever known is Swift River territory; I've been to places just beyond your markers, yes, but nowhere else. All my life I was scared to leave, but the danger beyond our borders and the danger that had crept into our home and took Rissa away... there's no difference. You let me travel far away to the Mountain once, let me go again."

As one last attempt to validate his reasons as to why Corinna should allow him to leave home, he carefully articulated, "I am not my father's son, I will come back home."


FENRU TAINN
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(This post was last modified: Mar 28, 2013, 06:12 AM by Fenru.)

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)
Played by Shadow who has 477 posts.
Inactive Deceased
Corinna Donata

Gone Tomorrow

Nothing in her wildest dreams could have prepared her for the first words out of her sons mouth. The unexpected wince had caused her head to tilt even further in confusion. Her son had never recoiled from her, but it was she who took a step back as his words fell into the air. Since she was sitting down, her step back was much of a shrinking - her shoulders slumping and her tail wrapping around her hip protectively. Her green eyes had snapped open in shock, and her bottom jaw had dropped half an inch. What?

He stumbled over his words, and all the while she hung onto them in silence, the confusion mounting on her face. What was he talking about? Who was so much more than he was? What did that even mean. But even as her black lips formed to ask the question, his growl, followed by a whine took the air from her lips, and she remained silent. Only for a moment. The name of his sister, followed rapidly by other family members evoked. But at Rissa's name, Corinna's black lips parted and a noise came out. It wasn't a growl, but nor was it a whine. Her voice had caught in her throat; and it was not threatening nor painful but somewhere between the two.

So this place really had become a prison, it must have, if it were to drive Fenru so far. His emphasis on the word her to shift her gaze, away from his earnest and youthful face. But her eyes jumped around - how sick her son must be of these trees? Her anger leaped in her chest, consuming the cavity there. She would light them all on fire if it would make her son stay. Fuck trees.

Gray ears perking on top of her head, his emphasis on the differentiation between him and his father, catching her attention. Her green eyes came back from setting the trees of Swift River on fire and rested on her son once more. He had remained standing, so she was looking up into his orange eyes. "No." The single word slipped out before she could stop it, the rage that had consumed her making her voice shake. "There's nothing and no one here for you." He had said it himself. Who was she to say any differently? It was hard for her heart to hear, and if the blood wasn't filling her ears, she could have sworn to hear one more piece shatter. But these pieces would not disappear but remain, lodged in her chest, forever.

Forcing herself to her feet, Corinna stood before him. Dwarfed by his size, just as she had been by Indru, she could not assert herself physical above him. But she did not have to. Her legs were visibly shaking; it was taking every ounce of a adrenaline in her body to keep her from collapse. Fenru had to have known what his request was doing to her soul. "...G...G..Ggoo. Go. Go then, if you must." It was perhaps one of the hardest things she had ever had to say. Perhaps at a later time, she would be able to sympathize with him and his need to leave; after all, she had done it herself. But not now - he could not ask that of her right now.

(This post was last modified: Apr 06, 2013, 03:36 AM by Corinna.)
Played by Grey who has 322 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Fenru Donata
never forget who you are
fenru tainn
for surely the world will not

"...G...G..Ggoo. Go. Go then, if you must." The boy noticed the hurt on her face, saw and took to heart how hard Corinna had taken his words. "Awwwwwmum," he whimpered, gently pressing the side of his face to her shoulder, grazing his chin slowly over her spine and turning about to sit next to her and touching his nose again to her throat. "Please... Please don't take it like that. Please don't..."

The insides of his nose and the edges of his nostrils felt like they were burning and he sought her gaze as he slicked back his ears. The frustration had fallen away in light of the touches of rage he picked up on. "I will come back," he promised again. "I swear it." He craned his neck downward, tipping his muzzle so that it, too, pointed at the ground. There was only so much his young heart could bear and the fight and the war had taken its toll. Traveling back to rest up and recover had only done so much for the restless spirit that had awoken in the sightless eyes of his deceased sister's face.

"It will only be for a while," he said quietly, nosing her ear gently with a touch before standing again and looking to her at his side. "I'll be back before you can even start missing me." His tail rose up in a feeble wag and he tried with all his might to brandish the slightest of smiles. He couldn't, and the solemn gaze he gave her made his next set of words much graver than he had intended them to be, "Don't you ever think for a second that I will abandon you like he did."

"Don't. You. Dare."


FENRU TAINN
template made by GINNYSAURUS. of RPG-D.
(This post was last modified: Apr 11, 2013, 03:00 AM by Fenru.)

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)
Played by Shadow who has 477 posts.
Inactive Deceased
Corinna Donata

Gone Tomorrow

The adrenaline that pumped through her veins was the only thing keeping her on her feet, but adrenaline is a short lived thing, and as Fenru reached out and touched her nape, the she-wolf fell back to her rump. Her defeat was clear, and her ever attentive son had not missed that fact. But she barely felt his soothing caresses against her head and neck. What did it matter, anyway? How else was she to take such news? Perhaps this was the reason why Indru had never told her when he was leaving before. Perhaps in his wisdom he knew how she would have you reacted to his longing to explore the world. Maybe that was Rihael had simply left as well - his desire to see the world around him had come earlier than Fenru's. It was a perfectly natural longing, but, well...

Shaking her head, Cori silenced his opposition before it could get started. He was not a parent, so he could not fully comprehend what it was that was racing through her heart and mind. She missed him whenever he was gone, even if she did not always say so. It was his blessing, or maybe his curse depending on how he wanted to look at it.

On any other occasion, Corinna would have met her son's tail wag with one of her own, but even feeling the waft of air from its feeble motions beside her was not enough to stir her into action. She remained impervious to his attentions. The smile that so often adorned his face was absent, and his solemn words struck her like a physical blow. Her head bowed down, unwilling to meet his gaze. His words hit her like a scolding - the first she had heard in a very, very long time. But she could not protest him, as much as it pained her.

The silence that hung between them after that was thick, and the tension mounted. Drawing on and on, second after second. Coherent thoughts were lost on her, but she could not bring herself to look her son in the eyes, for it would break her. Break everything about her. "Ice...." she murmured, her voice cracking. Taking a deep breath, she tried to swallow to moisten her throat. "Ice...and I. We talked...about leaving the River. Taking the pack with us, of course....to start over elsewhere." Her movements painstakingly slow, she forced her head up, bringing her gaze to just below level with his own. "If you must, go. But we will not leave without you." So not too far, please, for me.

Played by Grey who has 322 posts.
Inactive No Rank
Fenru Donata
never forget who you are
fenru tainn
for surely the world will not

She shook her head and it was with practiced patience that he waited for her to speak again. His tail lowered back down by his hind legs, falling into its natural curve as it grew still with every second that passed. The first thing that came out of her mouth was nothing like the angry upbraiding he was expecting from her. In fact, it was a name... Ice's name.

Taken aback and partially ready to correct her and remind her that he was Fenru, her son, he winced. He was ultimately relieved, though, when he realized that the utterance of the Swift River Leader's name was the beginning of a sentence. Corinna told him that they, she and the silvery male, had talked about leaving the only home he had ever known. "Leave?" the question came from his mouth like a small puff of air being expelled from his chest. "...leave? Really?"

"If you must, go. But we will not leave without you."

Fenru gently nudged his nose to his mother's, all harshness in his voice gone now that it had dropped to a quiet, reassuring whisper, "I just need to clear my head a little, find out who I am... without everyone else. I don't... I don't know how to stand on my own. That's all... So, don't you worry." He touched his tongue to her cheek, planting a kiss into the tawny fur there as his ears perked up at last.

"I won't go too far. I promise."


FENRU TAINN
template made by GINNYSAURUS. of RPG-D.

Taekwondo (M, W, F) | Rapid-Response Day (Tu) | WoW Nights (F, Sat, Sun)
Played by Shadow who has 477 posts.
Inactive Deceased
Corinna Donata
Happy Birthday to Fenru and Kisla! <3

Gone Tomorrow

It was the first time that Corinna had revealed the outcome of that fateful discussion she and Ice had once had beside Bramble Falls. They had not even really come to a firm conclusion, but both had come to the agreement that they needed to remake the pack and rid themselves of the demons that haunted them. But it seemed fitting, to share this news with her son before. She needed to get him used to the idea just as much as she needed to get used to the idea that her yearling son was now almost an adult.

But Swift River was the only home he had ever known, and his quiet response, almost incredulous at the suggestion, reminded her that Fenru was receiving just as difficult of news as she was. Dipping her head, she touched noses with him, his breath warm on her muzzle. Her ears turned forward, perking to better hear his whispered voice as he explained why he felt the need to go. Corinna's heart ached, but her initial reaction of shock was fading fast and slowly she began to nod her head. She had been his age once, and without her own need for self-discovery, Fenru and his siblings would not have been born. "I know you won't, love," she cooed softly, returning a mother's kiss to his cheek. "You will spend your whole life trying to answer that question, Fenru. And I will always be here to help you, if you need it."

Pulling back some, she had to recollect her thoughts, wanting to address his disbelief and explain to him why Ice and she believed this to be the best course of action for the pack. "As for leaving, yes, we've talked about it. Not much, but...some. Swift River is my home, it has been longer than it's been yours," pausing, Cori threw her son a small smirk. "But, this place is haunted. Not by ghosts, but by memories. Everyone is so solemn - I can't remember the last time I saw Aiyana smile. I just want a chance to start over. We'll never forget the memories, the good and the bad, but being here surrounded by everything is suffocating." Falling quiet, Corinna's green eyes looked up to meet his golden ones, searching for a reaction and a semblance of understanding.