Drooping Willows somethings are made from better stuff

@Elettra
May 3rd: Overcast — Current Temperature: 48° F/9° C
IDUNNO WHATS HAPPENIGN IMMA JUST ROLL WITH IT K.

Okay, he had to be honest with himself: he was avoiding her. He was avoiding everything, really. Slinking around in the shadows as if he were still the unwelcome scum of the ridgelands. At first he didn't really know what it was that caused him to hole up in the very edges of the territory, but the familiar, overwhelming sense of shame and dirtiness was hard to overlook. He had touched Elettra, touched her in ways that he hadn't known existed. If he had he definitely wouldn't have done it. But she ordered him to, she had him under her spell, there was something weird about the way she smelled. Perhaps she really had bewitched him. He couldn't have refused even if he had tried. But no matter how many times he told this to himself he never felt any better.

He was still dirty.

Kiche didn't need to see her to know what the consequence of his actions had been. From time to time he caught her scent on the breeze and he could sense and recognize the subtle, ripening changes in her odor. It was just like what happened to Jaysyek that first year. Elettra was expecting now. He had done that. A normal wolf might have been overjoyed at this news, and yet to the red man it couldn't have been worse. These children were made out of wedlock. They were bastards, no matter what these... these heathens might think. They were doomed. And he? He had committed a grave sin by... touching Elettra that night. He didn't deserve to be a father to these kids. No doubt Elettra wouldn't want him to be a father anyway...

And he never got better.

He stayed away as best he could, trailing along the border of these lands he had come to know.

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LMFAO. OKAAYY!!

She catches his scent once more as she had time and time before, at the very edges of their home as though he still was the Lowest he had long ago fought in order not to be. This time, so close to her pregnancy's end, she would not let him go.
She trailed his scent, her movements may swift until she would reach him, arcing along his trail until the red man would be seen before her crossing her path and she would move, determined, with intention to cut him off in his path. There is a sharp bark which echoes from the features of a sneer, to demand his movements cease. "You are the Second of this pack, you know...." She speaks, a bit of anger and disappointment touching her lips as she says this, as the man had done obviously nothing to show his placement as the top male within the ranks. He was as of yet the highest on the dominance scale, the pack's Second, with no Lead male in his way and of course, the father of her children. He held more ground in this pack then he knew, then anyone within the ranks knew. He was a shadow, content to still uphold the former reputation of the pack's scum and Elettra's personal slave. Should she had expected more? She once loathed him. Once wanted him to suffer. To die at her very jaws. Yet she held held him in such jaws, felt the life pulse within them and had not done anything to end such life. No. She had fucked him instead.
"There is no Lead male." She confirms this, a fact he easily knew from the meeting. The pack held an obvious, powerful Matriarch and without a doubt Elettra Archer had always been the true Leader within the ranks. Koda had served the pack as an equal to her, but never spoke up in meetings, never took charge in accepting members. He backed Elettra's every move and only this. Elettra enjoyed it, however. Shade had been a pathetic excuse for a Lead she had thus blocked from her mind as it shamed the pack. Sica had never shown to hold the placement he would have otherwise held. There was none, savor...."Angier Lyall holds me in regard...." She speaks the words as though if heard aloud she may believe them. He said he loved her, that he would fight for her and do everything in his power to stay with her. Still, she questioned if it to be true. Feared that it might pass and if she did open herself up and try, she may be further shattered by such abandonment.
Her throat tightens, letting her words of little yet of much meaning sink in. There was no Lead male and he was the Second, though there was another who had every intention to court her despite the fact that she held the children of another male. It didn't matter. It wouldn't stop him. It was such a passion, a desire and determination admirable and in this, despite her fears, she longed for it to play out if only to pride herself on such a male. Alas, his name was given - Lyall. The brother of Borden. She wondered how the information may taste for Kiche.

this is going to be fun. (or this is what i keep telling myself)

And just like that she appeared.

Immediately, the red man stopped in his tracks. He went through the motions. Though his tail had already been sweeping the ground, it curled upwards against his body to afford her the courtesies she was owed. His ears fell back against his skull and his body wilted like dying flower. But he did not look at her, not even at her precious black feet. Instead, his firebrand eyes rolled away and his head turned to follow his gaze out into the vast world that lay beyond the willows. Idly, he wondered how long it had been since he had seen the world that lay outside of Elettra's influence.

"You are the Second of this pack, you know...."

"I know that," he breathed neutrally.

"There is no Lead male."

It was like she was goading him with these passive aggressive statements. "I know," he said again, his voice hardening. Still his head hadn't turned to face her. What did she want from him? Why did she point all of this out? It was pointless, all of this: her vexation, her disappointment. She knew, he thought, that he wasn't good enough, that he was going to fail her just as he always had. So why was she forcing this on him? Why did she always force things on him. Usually he would have taken her abuse as gladly as he would have accepted a gift, but not today. Today he was bitter, today he was angry.

"Angier Lyall holds me in regard...."

There was a flash of red as Kiche's ear flicked up and down, his interest restrained. Lyall. The two of them knew that name very well. He remembered her mentioning it at the first meeting he had attended. Something about him leaving gifts or being a friend or something. Pft. Friend.. Regard. What did that even mean? He did not turn his head to reply, he merely sighed.

"Then why don't you fuck him instead?" The words were soft, barely above a whisper and might have been hard to pick up.

In the time that had spaced them, it would seem Kiche had grown some balls. Though his display automatically flattened in a stance that would show respect, it was as automatic as firstly stated. He did it because it was the way of a wolf's natural behavior, for what came out of his mouth was flat and afterward, snappish as his words hardened with the anger he held within him. Throughout his time here he had rose from the Lowest status to Second though for all the time he had been Elettra's: hers, specifically, and she had no remorse or pity in regard to how she used him in whichever way pleased her most at the given time. Her judgement upon him had been written and vengeance had been paid by tooth and claw and word and more. She perhaps had scarred him both physically and mentally and it would seem he had held enough. Perhaps he had found his enlightenment. Perhaps he was finally a wolf. Though Elettra was unwilling to let him go. Not yet.
At the very instant of his hardened words, did her body tense, did her tail rise like a banner at her back side and her lips quiver. The quick tempered woman was further more with her pregnancy and further more to the man that had done it to her and equally avoided her in the aftermath as though he pitied himself for the filthy act. Quite frankly, it pissed her off. He should have been ecstatic that she had chosen him to spawn her litter.
Then he questioned, perhaps not meant to be heard, just barely under his breath. But she was all for paying attention to him and heard every last wisp from his breath. Sarcastic, spiteful perhaps it was, or a truth he really meant for her to answer. Ether way, the angered woman went to a sudden rage. She lunges forth, coming in low and straight forth (he is taller then her anyhow) and her head tilted to the left (to make getting to her own throat more difficult) in aim to grip around the front of the red man's throat, an area likely dangerously close to the jugular, as she sought to teach him a severe lesson in respect not only to his Leader, but the mother of his children. ...Perhaps this is the only thing their relationship would ever hold.

Given his history with Elettra and his understanding of her expectations, he should have known she would react in this way. Perhaps it was his own bruised ego that blinded him, though, and in being so self-absorbed he had forgotten who he was speaking with. Alright, he was being a bit of an asshole, but for some reason he just assumed she'd take whatever dish he served her, like she was just some common subordinate. He forgot. He was stupid. He was careless, and so he did not foresee her wrath. Since he was also refusing to look at her, though, he also didn't see her wrath.

The black lady hit him like a brick wall. On any other occasion this would have been put down to her well taken care of, solid, muscular body. But this time she carried with her some extra weight, and Kiche, more familiar with her body than perhaps anyone else in this whole world, could feel the difference. He crumbled underneath the force as her teeth found and embedded themselves in his cream-furred throat.

The frustration and disgust that had been damned up inside of him oozed out in gurgle of blood and a bubbling snarl. For once, he found he did not want to submit. For once, he found that he would love nothing better to hit back, to knock her down a peg. But he could feel that protruding belly of hers and the god-fearing man in him knew that he could do nothing. Those kids were bastards, sure, but they weren't guilty of anything else. They didn't deserve to be hurt. That would only make things worse for himself, anyway.

All he could do was talk.

It was a little difficult to get any words with her vice-grip on his throat, but somehow he managed. "What do you want from me?" He tried to get some more oxygen into his lungs, "What else is there.... to take.... from me?" He was running out of breath, his voice was more ragged and each word stole strength from him. "God DAMNIT.... Elettra. You have it all.... You've gotten ...everything." But this was no confession of love. It was a bitter, exasperated plea of a man who was all dried up. He had nothing left to give her. Why did she ask for more?

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oh shits.

Once more their position was as solid as it had been time and time before: Kiche beneath her with her straddling on top, bent down as her teeth imbedded into the flesh of his creamy neck. Though she felt the pulse of his life within her jaws as she had before, this time she held on strong, not daring to let go even as blood gurgled from his mouth as he spoke, poured into her mouth from the wound as she tore into him yet again.
Though the words were not expected, they did not come as a shock to her. During this time here he had been in submission to her from the very beginning, adhering to her every will in order to make up for the wrongs he had done and, in this, taking every beating she had given him. For a time, perhaps she had thought him a changed wolf as he had worked hard in finding a storage area for the pack's herbs as back-up should anything go wrong again (as they had lost much of everything from the den's flooding previously). He had even found herbs he knew nothing of and had challenged to take his placement out of Lowest and make himself a formal member of the pack, as though he wanted to be a part of this pack. But his words now would allow her to know he was still Kiche and still very much held in him the wolf she had forever ago detest.
With his words, comes a growl, comes the strengthening of her defensive posture and her dominant display. Though she would tear away from him and thus tear away whatever flesh she may had obtained. She spats at him, spats the blood and flesh from her jaws and his words back in his face. "What do I want? You prove yourself the same pathetic fool you've always been just by asking such a question!" She had once been thought as his retribution, his goddess, his queen and what now was she reduced to? A simple whore which had stolen away his precious virginity? Man up. "How about some care, some respect? How about help around the pack? How about help for your Leader, your children?" Her growl after her words is thunderous, another snap of her jaws offered into his direction, towards his face, as she stalked around him. "You might not want to step up as a father but you will step up for this pack." He was, as said, Second, after all and with no other above his head to keep things in check savor herself.
With a wretching of her gut then, she stops suddenly, sways but an instant as she catches herself. She is but days from birthing, less then a week, and the strain of the confrontation secretly wears on her. She pauses with silence enough to catch her breath, a deep sigh taking her and her words are low, heavy. "Why are you even here?" He did not love this pack. He did not care for the members which lived within it. He did not care for her, who had merely been his judgement which it seemed he had come to terms with. And, most importantly by his absence for the past two months, he did not care for his pups.

you get some random lyrics and you get some random lyrics and you and you and EVERYBODY. RANDOM LYRICS FOR ALL!

• You're a faith-healer on tv
  You're an office park without any trees
  corporate and cold, gushing for gold-leave me alone.
  You suck so passionately
  You're a parasitic, psycho, filthy creature finger-bangin' my heart.
  You call me up drunk, does the fun ever start?
  — Love me Dead, by Ludo

She tore herself away from him, and he closed his head and turned away as he felt the droplets of his own blood and chunk of his own face spray his muzzle. She tore into him again, but this time with words just as sharp as her dagger teeth. He steeled himself for whatever she was going to throw at him. And she was right. He hadn't changed. Oh, to be sure he had tried, he had devoted the past two years to trying to rise above his "pathetic fool" existence. But it never worked, did it? Always he had sunk back down like this, retreating to the safe, punishing confines of his religion and taking up all his old vices. He hated that he couldn't seem to change, to move on. But this was who he was, it seemed.

Was it worth lying about anymore?

"How about some care, some respect? How about help around the pack? How about help for your Leader, your children?"

The reference to fetuses growing in her stomach was like a smack in the face, and reflexively he bared his teeth. So this was going to be a guilt trip now, was it? She had ordered him to fuck her, and now she was angry with him for not trying to help with the children when he was pretty sure she would have just rejected his help anyway. She had never wanted him around Jayse's pups, thwarting his efforts to get to the den, trying to keep him away from them as they were growing. Why would she want him with her own children, even if they were partly his.

Deep down however, he was terrified. He was terrified of these children. Just as he had tried to fix himself, he had failed to raise his angelic leader's children as good boys and girls. Theo had died. Prosper had died. Trisden was jaded beyond repair. Hocus was just fucking gone. Lettie had forced him to leave her, discarded him like she would have discarded a winter coat. He had already proved himself a worthless fucking father. What the fuck was the point of trying again? And even deeper within himself was the old parts, the old parts that always took control of him. He had wanted to steal those pups once, he had wanted to brainwash them. Who was to say he wouldn't try again?

"Why are you even here?"

"Because I was trying to make amends! I had hurt you and I wanted to fix everything! I TOLD you that. That's what I told you when I came here!" He couldn't keep the rage inside of him, he couldn't help that he was shouting at her. It was all the fear, all the frustration. He felt so caged in by all of these obligations, and it was fucking terrifying "I stay because I can't just up and leave like everyone else did. I won't do that to you!" If he ran away they would just be right back where they had started: Elettra as the injured party, Kiche as the wrongdoer. "But god damnit I haven't... I CAN'T make amends for everything. I'm always going to fuck up again. I'm never going to be good enough for you and I just don't know what to fucking do about it anymore."

(This post was last modified: May 04, 2013, 03:47 AM by Datura.)

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so short and crappy but EHHH, IDK!

His words - obviously. She knew why he had come here and what his intentions had been and she had readily accepted it. Though as to why he was here now had been more particular to her. "You hurt me then and you hurt me now." She mentions on him having come here to fix the wrong he had done to her and having wanted to fix it, though, obviously unable to fix everything, as he so stated. Already, her patience for him had simmered to an absolute nothingness. She was hurt. She was angry. She wanted this to be over.
Though a part of her wished to keep him locked away here forever for her own selfish desires, she was, after all, a woman of law. He had come here seeking judgement and to be redeemed for the crimes he had committed in Grizzly Hollow and Elettra had given him his punishment ten fold. Thus, in giving such punishment, justice had been paid. He need not be a slave here any longer. "I'll not have you stay because of some fucking pity. If dismissal is what you want then here is your chance. GO! I'm done with you." The words spat from her mouth with a flash of her teeth in warning, yet still upholding the aggressive display she had formerly given.

you can post and archive.
and then you may need to ask maintenance to remove me from the roster. dunno if me being a mod will fuck with things or not.
MORE LYRICS FOR YOU

I am the Patron Saint of Lost Causes
A fraction of who I once believed...
..Dismantle me down
Repair
You've dismantled me
You've dismantled me

• — Dismantle.Repair, by Anberlin

"You hurt me then and you hurt me now."

The voice of his guilt was drowned in the roar of his frustration. He would feel it later, but at the moment he had been swept up in the tide and was helpless against the waves of anger that crashed over his head. In this moment, he felt as if all he was ever going to do was hurt her. It was so pointless, all of it. Why should he stay if he could never truly make amends, if he was always filling one hole and digging another. Why would she want him to stay if it was only going to be a succession of repairing and dismantling a relationship that couldn't keep itself together.

"I'll not have you stay because of some fucking pity—

"It's not pi—" he tried to cut in, but she had not finished speaking.

"If dismissal is what you want then here is your chance. GO! I'm done with you."

Duty. He had meant to say duty. Duty to his god, duty to her was what kept him here. But if she was done with him, if this relationship of theirs had proven to be so futile and frustrating... then she was right. He needed to go. The tension left his body with a sigh, and he rolled his shoulders once as he turned to look at her. "Alright then. Alright. I'll go." It was for the best. He just had to keep telling himself that it was for the best. "It's...it's been.." He wanted to say that it had been nice knowing her, but he wasn't quite sure if that was right. It had been a lot of things, some of the things had been good and some had been bad, but nice seemed to undermine everything they had ever gone through. Nice was fake. "For good or for bad, Elettra, you've changed me. I won't forget that,"

"Goodbye," the red man whispered has he turned to leave.

He walked in the only direction he could. Towards home.

like my art? comission me!

Elettra Archer was stilled, silent through it all as she listened to his final words, watched as he made his way to leave. She did not stop him, nor say her goodbyes, but merely lingered on tensed, upset and jaded in the same manner she had time and time before as others had walked out on her, only for more to filter through in their placements. Loyalty only last for so long, it seemed, with only those very few who decided to stay perhaps without anywhere else to go or perhaps without reason for future with a mate and children of their own. It was a pack life simple enough as this. Have a mate, have children, accept a few out of the bloodline and much of them all at some point would leave to have a family of their own. But Kiche was different - far different. He did not leave to have a family, but was leaving the family he had created. With it, he lost his rights to fatherhood.
The Archer Matriarch breaths in deeply, accepting what was now handed to her: single leadership and now, single parenthood. It was for the best, he and she both told themselves. The woman needed not a wolf within her pack who was lazy with their job (Kiche did not even aspire one) and lazy with their position amongst the ranks. It was final and with it, Elettra needed not look on any further.