Dragonfly Fen The Days Are Catching Up

"I know that." Life so far had been a constant coming and going of various characters. Her life had been been more like a train station than a family. Her mother gone, father coming and going, Drestig and Jessie leaving, and eventually being forced to leave herself. So many times Alastor had said she couldn't force anyone to do things, to stay. She had seen both sides of the coin: the gut wrenching pain that Sven felt as he carried around the growing chip in his shoulder left by everyone who left and continued to leave him; Morganna's unspoken sense that they were all connected and would meet again, that there were higher things in life than the scent boundaries of a pack. Wolves either did or didn't approve of deserters, and she was fast approaching the time to decide for herself where she stood. She had left Oak Tree Bend, and that was something to take into consideration, but she had largely flip flopped on the entire thing throughout her childhood without a reason to commit. 

"I'm not expecting him to stay. I literally just said that he'd probably find some girl to flirt with. So I'm not exactly misleading myself about the possibilities, here," though she mostly discounted the likelihood of him knocking someone up. "I'm not in control of what anyone does. But I can control the environment. I was just saying that, ya know. If he..." Why did she pause here? "Found somebody he'd know I wouldn't stay mad or bitter and that this would be a safe place to be. That we'd still be friends. I can do everything in my power to help him see that. He can still leave if he wants. I can't hold him to the promise if that's not what he wants. But I can stop myself from driving him away." That was the edge of her powers, the eyelash batting effect.

Sahalie sighed with frustration, "But until then I can still worry. I mean it's not productive or anything but I can't help it."

Again, Sahalie was delving into territory that Larkspur was unsure of. It must have been hard to be her and have these silly things to fret over. He wondered if his mate had thought those sorts of things, but quickly dismissed it. Both of them had been in love and both of them had been very loyal to each other. The fact that Sahalie didn't want any of that... he couldn't wrap his mind around it. He didn't know where to even begin to try to understand it. But Sahalie was complicated and he didn't really need to understand her.

"It's hard to fight against who you are," he finally agreed. "Sometimes you just gotta live with yourself. Silly worries and all." It was advice he struggled to take himself, but acceptance was a little bit of a foreign concept to Larkspur. He wanted things to be right, for things to be as perfect as they could be. Well, his version of perfect anyways. The best part was really that it felt like they were heading in the right direction. Their small group would eventually blossom to the start of a strong pack. 

"And I plan on it," she remarked with a smile that was as much a sarcastic quip as it was a proud declaration. Sometimes living with herself was hard and sometimes it was easy. Most of the time it was just fine. Other wolves--like Al--made things complicated but not impossible.

The strangest thing here, though, was that Larkspur seemed too disagree entirely even if he was willing to drop the subject and let her live her life. Of all the wolves she might have expected him to side with her, to share her perspective. Larkspur often acted like he didn't need any other wolf or companionship, especially not romantic attachments. In his other life, the one where he had been a leader, where he had had kids and grandkids, he must have loved her. Even now he was standing by her, standing by Love. Some things pain and time just could not sour, even if everything else about him had been. "I'm gunna head off that way to see what I can find. Have fun with the rest of the day," she said with a sigh as she turned away, hopping to turn all this hormonal frustration into productive energy while there was still daylight.

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