Drooping Willows be my ESCAPE

i know it gets hard sometimes but i could never leave your side no matter what i say "Damn that Valiant!" Hawke was not in a good mood. She was almost certain that the silver male had abandoned her, after acting as if he cared about her. Clearly he had been playing her; lying about his feelings and lying about everything that he had told her so far. He was just another asshole, playing her for his own benefits. She fumed, pacing from one tree to another and back again. Her paws had already created a path in the old snow and the grass and dirt peeking through where the snow had melted enough. Her paws were muddy from walking through the mixture of snow and wet dirt. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" The empty feeling hadn't returned yet, but Hawke knew that it would sooner or later. At the moment she was simply angry; her insides felt as though they were on fire and she was jut itching to yell at Valiant. But she was also angry at herself. After all, she had been the idiot to trust Valiant and fall for his lies. She loved him, dammit! Did that mean nothing to him? Had she really gone through all that just to be tossed to the curb like a piece of trash? Oh she had some words to say to the male if she ever found him again. In reality she had seen him recently, but the fact that he was gone now made her believe that she had been abandoned, no matter how irrational that was. She knew that everyone would abandon her at some point, so why was she so upset? Every time this happened she felt the need to explode. But why? She knew it would happen. "Fuck you, Valiant!" she yelled to the sky. "I hope you burn in hell!" She had finally stopped pacing. However, she was not finished trying to find ways to let out her anger. She needed to punish herself. Thinking quickly, she walked up to the willow tree and began to bang her head on the trunk. She would hit the tree with her head once and then pause for a moment or two and do it again, with every intention of continuing the behavior until her frustration was gone and she was adequately punished for her foolishness. This would keep the emptiness at bay longer. 'cause if i wanted to go i would have gone by now but i really need you near me to keep my mind off the edge

(This post was last modified: Feb 13, 2012, 11:09 PM by Hawke.)

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She would stalk the woman with a mild interest, her ears twitching backwards and her body tensed to the woman's clear irritation. Once more did Elettra Archer visit the Willow lands if only to break away from her pack- an oddly thought of her part, to have to think such things for her own pack. But with Borden, and now Kiche around, Elettra found herself more and more aware of the fact that not only was the pack filled with strangers, but wolves whom she knew and did not trust. As second, she had not the ability to judge who came into the pack lands, as of course, a leadess might....
The thought caused a rumble from inside her gut, a vibration in her throat though she kept her jaws clamped shut to try and subside the growl which threatened to break free. Her pale gaze, a silver shine over the night's sky, would keep watch to the frantic woman, cursing off a man she knew to be a new member of her pack. Elettra would only bother make herself known as the woman came to beating herself up. Her insanity and lack of control sickened Elettra, the woman seemingly holding no resolve nor care for her own self worth. No man dare do such a thing to Elettra in such a way and now, seeing this woman...El could not help but pity her.
"Temper; Temper..." Elettra's words purred as she stepped forth, eying the woman suspiciously as she made way into her direction, body tense and ready. Her tail remained high, but her head level along with her spine, hunched back in a protective manner. "I'm sure there is a better way of going about this..." Perhaps, Elettra could even offer to maim the girl for her? If Elettra's way of frustration was tearing into someone, and this woman's way was to beat herself up, they could find themselves getting along perfectly.

i know it gets hard sometimes but i could never leave your side no matter what i say The language spurting from her mouth as she cursed under her breath was all but exoteric. If there had been more delicate ears around then she might have censored herself, but there was no one around and therefore no reason for her change her language to something less offensive. A stranger's voice - and scent - startled her suddenly and she stopped slamming her head against the tree and turned around angrily. "What the hell do you know?" she demanded. Her tail was raised high but her head maintained a defensive position, her teeth bared. A low growl rumbled from her throat. "What do you want?" she demanded angrily. Most of her anger was directed at herself and Valiant, but she was angry at the female for butting in and sneaking up on her. She didn't care who the female was; she just wanted to know why she was here and what the hell she wanted. She had enough problems with Valiant's abandonment and the sense of emptiness slowly returning and eating away at her mind. 'cause if i wanted to go i would have gone by now but i really need you near me to keep my mind off the edge OOC:: Sorry it's short! I'm really tired today. I promise they'll be a better length in the future.

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Quickly did the woman whip around, offering her own defensive display, her tail raised high in both defiance and mock dominance which she did not have to dish out. Within the willows, Elettra's growl would echo in warning, though this only came once- this other girl would heed it, if she knew what was best for her. It was not the first, second, or even will be the last time a rogue had crossed the dark woman and addressed her in an ill way, and each one Elettra had done her best to show them the error of their ways.
"Much more then a woman whom attempts to give herself brain damage, this is certain." She mocks in response to the woman, who had but moments ago been slamming her own skull against the hardness of a willow tree simply because a man had twisted her mindlessly around his finger. "I come to these lands often, it seems..." Truly, there was no reason beyond this, as to why she was here and it seemed, only now as she spoke it allowed, did she take much notice to her frequent visitation to the lands, despite it's lack of pack territory, nor Elettra's own need as of yet to break off on her own. Without followers, of a man of interest, she would not get far, anyhow.

i know it gets hard sometimes but i could never leave your side no matter what i say "You have no idea why I do such things," she scoffed at the black lady, her irritation building. "Do not speak as if you know what is going on. Were you in my shoes, dealing with that I have to deal with, you would be doing the same thing." Hawke was, of course, referring to the emptiness that threatened to consume her and stop her from feeling anything ever again, though the black wolf could not have known that. While Hawke was not aware that she had a disorder, she was aware of the fact that she was different from other wolves in the way that she thought and in her need for companionship. Whatever was wrong with her, she seemed to have no control over it. Hawke had no desire to put up with this right now. She was sick of other wolves picking on her and downgrading her for something that was clearly not her fault. While she had the ability to be kind and caring, right now she was not in the mood to be reasonable and she was not in the mood to tolerate some stupid bitch coming and scoffing at her. "Why don't you just go fuck yourself?" she said rudely, her bad language coming out more and more as her temper began to heat up, threatening to boil over once more. She bared her teeth at the stranger and growled, a clear sign that the black female was not wanted here and that it would be better if she would just leave. 'cause if i wanted to go i would have gone by now but i really need you near me to keep my mind off the edge

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The girl went onto ranting then, going off on how Elettra didn't know why she was doing this to herself and that, even, if she did knot and the same thing had happened to her, El would find herself doing the same thing. Personally, Elettra didb't give two shits as to why the girl was doing this to herself, or what the outcome may be of it in the long run, however, she was certain of one thing... ”I rather doubt it.” She spoke, in mentioning that perhaps, Elettra would have done the same. The woman prided herself, took care of herself, and would have not been seen as a fool to the eyes of man.
Though she did not know this woman had a mental disorder, even if she had, the matter would not have made the difference. Her lack of respect was something Elettra would not tolerate. After all, throughout the scoffs, her wickedly placed words, Elettra's respect to another wolf as long as it would be shown in turn had never been hindered before. Elettra's defenses had been in place mildly; tense and her head low and tail high, her eyes narrowed. Now, she showed herself a more defensive display to the woman's aggression. Her head would hunch back protectively between her shoulders, offering rolls of fat along the sides and back of her neck for protection. Her usual thick coating (which had always made her resent the summer) was thicker now, in the winter, and rose at her spine with her hackles. As the woman's teeth would bare, Elettra would bare her own in the same manner.
It would seem that not only was Elettra protective of her own rights, but protective of the rights of these lands. After all, Elettra had grown quite fond of this place and although it was not her own, wouldn't stand for it's disrespect as her own, ether. The woman's actions, and words, were oracular reactions to Elettra, whom merely had been watching in interest after having passed through (a place she had passed through numerous times before). Now, there would be no going back. Elettra Archer had offered the unknown woman one warning and this is all she would have. ”Why fuck myself, when I can fuck you.” The words were marred by a growl, ending with the opening of her jaws, which aided in the protection of her neck by her downward chin. The the very instant her final word echoed, Elettra charged.
Coming straight forward in a sprint to kill the distance between them, her body would come in low, limbs bent and splayed with balance. She would come onto the woman head-on (running forward just slightly to the left of Hawke), her weight of one-hundred pounds outmatching the others own of only eighty-five she aimed a ram into her. Elettra's jaws sought to bite down upon the left side of the woman's unprotected neck, to silence her mad ranting once and for all! With her attempt at her neck with her jaws, Elettra's body would push upwards so that perhaps her right shoulder would slam into the woman's chest. Whether or not her bite was successful, she aimed to slam the whole of her weight into Hawke and knock her down to the ground at Elettra's paws- where she belonged.

ooc// So sorry for the wait! Things have been busy lately and I've only been replying to whatever I really have to do. Didn't mean to make you wait so long :/

i know it gets hard sometimes but i could never leave your side no matter what i say "You don't get it, do you?" she spat at the female angrily. "If what's wrong with me were wrong with you, you would do the same thing." Her anger was clear, and this was one of the few times that she was willing to admit that there was something wrong with her. Of course, she always knew that there was, but admitting it was a different matter entirely. "You would do the same thing because you wouldn't have control over it. Like me, you wouldn't have a choice!" And she didn't. When she did such things she was essentially having a break from reality. During that time she truly felt that she had to harm herself - it was a compulsion of sorts. She didn't know that, of course, but that was what was wrong with her. Even though it was clear that Hawke was angry and aggressive, she had no intention of attacking. In truth, she just wanted to be left alone so that she might take out her anger on herself in peace. But this bitch had to come and fuck things up. Why couldn't she just leave? It wasn't as if she owned the place. Even in her mental state - somewhere between psychosis and neurosis - she knew that she was no good in a fight. She only appeared aggressive because she was angry at being disrupted, and she made not a single move to attack the other female. Of course, if she were attacked she would defend herself...with little concern as to whether or not she was harmed in the process. Hawke's senses were both heightened and hindered by her mental state. She was hyper aware because of her current paranoia, so she was quick to discern the fact that the female was going to attack. In response, she hunched her shoulders and arched her neck to protect her throat, that vital, vulnerable part of her body. Her hackles raised, causing her fur to stand up and making her look a little bigger than she actually was. She moved a little lower to the ground, hoping to protect her stomach as well. Then she watched silently, waiting. She was ready when the last word left the female's mouth and she held her ground when the female charged. Hawke pressed against the ground with her back paws, sending her speeding into a spring to equal the female's. While she did not have the strength of the larger female, she had more speed and she closed the distance even faster, adjusting her angle to meet the female head on, though she had angled herself just to the left. The female may have planned to go for the neck, but with Hawke's charge following the female's so quickly, the battlefield was changed. Hawke knew that she would lose in a strength-to strength battle, but she was determined to protect her neck from this bitch's jaws.Being slightly lower than the female because of her attempt to remain closer to the ground, Hawke had a few targets to choose from. As they collided she felt the female's jaws grasp the skin at the top of her shoulder, even as she aimed her own jaws lower, hoping to get a good grasp on the female's left foreleg, in order to damage the female's balance and ability to run - or even walk - properly. She failed to take into consideration the size difference between them during her attack, however, and as the female pressed forward, clearly trying to push Hawke to the ground, Hawke could feel her legs begin to buckle. She locked them in place, but she knew that would not hold for long. With the next moves she would need to find a way to get out from underneath the larger female. 'cause if i wanted to go i would have gone by now but i really need you near me to keep my mind off the edge

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Her words went heard, a blur in her mind, something Elettra might consider, something, that should the female submit to her will, Elettra would be willing to forgive the woman for her rash remarks- her disrespect and lack of care for others. If their was something mentally wrong with her, that kept her from her own control, then she was sick and if not cured, should be rid of the world from her insanity! But despite the light woman's anger towards Elettra for merely viewing her from afar, despite her seething remarks, the woman (at least for now) did not submit to Elettra's will and pushed forth with determination as Elettra's own.
Perhaps had this been a hunt, or even if the she-wolf was trying to escape Elettra, her speed over Elettra's strength would have done her well, but surely the light colored woman would learn to know that in close combat, speed meant little when you were so face to face, ever more so, when you were caught. Hawke already admitting to herself she was no good in a fight would not help the matter. Had she asked politely to be left alone, or at least without such threat and hostility with vulgarity, she may have gotten her wish, too. Pity.
They rushed together, Elettra's jaws not gaining her neck but successful in a grip at her left shoulder instead, her weight slamming into the woman in the process. The moment she gained her grip, she would twist herself, her back end moving to arch to the right (Hawke's left) to where she would be better facing off Hawke's left shoulder which she held onto. If successful, the maneuver would twist and turn at the flesh Elettra held, tearing at it further. Despite her movements, El does not go uninjured. Hawke is quick and her jaws which sought El's left forelimb are successful in the least- her incisors slicing out her fur and cutting the thin skin laid there, but only this.
Whether or not Elettra aligned herself to face the woman's shoulder as she wished, El hung on furiously, her head aligned with her spine and tucked back, pulling at the grip and, pushing her chin downward she would shove with the full weight of her being once more, her body pushing downwards as her limbs bent, determined to get Hawke on the floor.