Hearthwood River Far Over Misty Mountains

For @Kisla </3

Farewell we call to hearth and home!
Though wind may blow and rain may fall,
We must awake ere break of day
Far o'er the wood and mountain tall.
- Misty Mountains, Peter Hollens feat Tim Foust

Darkness. His whole world had descended into darkness. It all seemed like complete madness, like the pack he had returned to was not his River, but some perverted other version, filled with death and horror. As much as he wished though, he knew it wasn't, this was The River, what was left of it, and it send red-hot spears of pain stabbing through his chest. He'd tried, he'd tried so hard! But it hadn't made a difference, in the end he couldn't protect anything; And whose fault is that?! He wanted it to be someone else's, Aleksei's for leaving and dumping this responsibility on him, or his father's, for never properly teaching him how to do it. But those were lies and he knew as much; It's all mine! Because he had failed! He'd failed when he led Karina run off alone, and again when he left to find her, only to get caught up in his own adventure on the way. Orren Baranski was a failure. Since that dreadful day, he'd kept completely isolated, unable to face anyone. He continued to walk the borders, a ghost trying to fill the tracks of his long lost body. He'd stopped hunting though, didn't have the energy for a chase, and whenever he caught a scent trail, he thought of her. More pain. This morning was no different, he'd started where he left off the night before, having collapsed in a small hollow near the border, too exhausted to go on. But as the sun crept higher above the towering sequoias, he felt a tug in his belly, something different from the hollow ache of sorrow. He hadn't eaten in days, didn't have the energy for that either. But despite the shadow in his mind, hid body made its demands, and eventually he had to comply. So he'd recited from the border, seeking out the nearest cache to find something that could serve as a feeble filler for the hole in his stomach. He knew the location of every stash by heart, legs moving mechanically to take him to where his brain vaguely remembered there would be food. His consciousness was so far gone though, that he didn't even notice where he was until he'd already dug out the hare, tugged away here for someone else entirely. This was one of the caches closest to @Lachesis' infirmary, and so one of the ones the young hunter had taken particular care to fill over the last month. This very hare had been one of his last catches, left here for Naia to help keep her and the pups strong, but she'd not found it. Wide, orange eyes stared blankly at the dead animal, his body frozen in place for several moments. Then the tears came, flooding his eyes and blurring his vision, his throat tightening around the dull pain in his chest. So he ran, spun around and galloped away, trying to outrun the breathtaking sorrow that attempted to swallow him whole. He didn't get far though, before he stopped, gasping, every breath leaving him in a strangled sob, before a new one entered in a high wheeze. He fought to get control of himself, but even as he managed to cut off the sobs, tears continued to pool in his eyes, running down his cheeks in long, wet streaks; GONE! Word count: 558 ”Speech" Thoughts

FurLined @DA

I'm seriously the absolute worst. Playing broken Kisla is way harder than I imagined. We don't need to reach the full 10+ replies for this, I understand you must be in a rush for him to go. <3

She did not cry – she did not ache. Kisla instead fell to nothing. The world had seemingly lost color – she did not hear the song of the birds as they hopped from the tall Kingsfall trees, nor the echo of laughter or chatter should once of her pack mates play with this year’s pups.

Her eyes fell upon the expanse of forest before her, but she did not truly see anything. The woman remained curled within a ball, only barely recognizing the wind as it brushed against her fur, as if it were her dead lover trying to console her. She did not believe in the afterlife – and yet she could not dwell on anything else, for otherwise, all she could consider was that Maksim and Naia were dead, and they no longer felt anything. No pain. No love. No joy. A simple nothingness.

Much like she felt now.

Her eyes would drift upward at the sound of noise – she would catch the sight of her son as he ran, though he stopped, wheezing. In her blank stare, she could not quite grasp the meaning of it – that her children would feel the ache of loss so much heavier than her – and she could not console the. Nothing she said could ever make it better.. and so she spoke nothing. She studied him from the shadows, and only after a few moments did the woman try to pull herself together – and emerging from the foliage, she began to move to her oldest’ s side, her muzzle coming to press gently against the boy’s nape as grief continued to engulf them both.

sparking up my heart

I understand <3 but yeah, I'd just like to play this out, but I think we can do it in just a few more posts.

Orren had never been badly injured, never felt the pain of deep wounds or broken bones, but he doubted it was as bad as this. His insides had been hollowed out and filled with stones and tiny thorns. All he wanted was to be free of this ache, to get away from the darkness that engulfed him every time he remembered Naia's smooth, ringing laughter or his father's proud smile. It shattered him to know that they would never be by his side again, no hunting together, no singing in the night; Nothing! A faint rustle in the underbrush paused his wheezing, head jolting up slightly as he blinked the worst water from his eyes to see. His chest tightened painfully when he recognized the honey colored fur, the breath that he'd been holding back escaping in a strangled hiss. Quickly he turned his face away, raising a paw to wipe the tears from his face. Even though he knew that there was no way Kisla hadn't noticed, he pretended so, he didn't want anyone to know he'd been crying, that he was too weak to hold back the tears. Especially his mother. "Ma," He croaked as he turned back to her, voice shaky. She looked wrong, too small, too spindly, almost like she could fall apart at any moment. It reminded him of Karina when he had finally found her by the Falls, but this was not hunger, not entirely at least. Orren stiffened when she pressed against him, again afraid to show weakness. His lips quivered and he longed to bury his face in her fur, like he was just a young pup again, hiding from his nightmares. But there was no hiding from this. Finally he lowered his muzzle, running it along her neck gently to rest against her shoulder. "I'm sorry," He mumbled hoarsely; "I'm so, so sorry!" Word count: 312 ”Speech" Thoughts

FurLined @DA

PLOT WITH ME!

His voice was so tiny in comparison to the emotion that’s wallowed over them both – the croak of his words almost stirring her to cringe with the thought that so much pain consumed him. But there was nothing she could do to alleviate any of it -. Not for herself, or for her boy. So she held him, and as he apologized, she withheld a sigh, her own eyes squeezing shut. “None of this is your fault,” she murmured softly, holding back the quake of her limbs as she tried to remain strong for the eldest Baranski child or the River. “You’ve done nothing wrong.”

She did not pull back, nor could she form further words of comfort – she could speak of how fate could be fickle at times, and that Maksim’s demise had likely been written in the stars even from his first breath of life. But she was not sure what she believed in – the cause and consequence that had befallen them had stemmed from her mate protecting his loved ones from a mountain cat, and he had paid not just the ultimate price for it, but had suffered for many months. If anything else, the honeyed woman was grateful that he was no longer suffering

sparking up my heart

Her voice was barely more than a whisper in his ear, and it send a small shiver through his body. He wanted to believe her, that there wasn't anything more he could have done. But as sincere as she sounded, in the bag of his mind another voice still challenged her; I've done nothing RIGHT! He'd tried, oh he'd tried, after all the trouble in Cut Rock, the prince had decided to turn a new leaf, grow up. Hearthwood was meant to be a new life for all of them, he'd gotten older, he became an older brother; I tried so hard! To be the best he could be, to make everyone proud. Every step he had taken had been in an attempt to support the pack; looking out for Inna and 'Kalta, filling the caches, even guarding the borders. Suddenly rascal, little-brother Orren had become the oldest of the Baranski pups, all the responsibilities of his family resting on his shoulders. Or so he'd felt anyway. After Maksim had gotten worse, with his brother gone, Orren was determined to protect the pack, watch over his family like he felt he was supposed to. For a while it even felt right, like he was finally the wolf he was meant to be, what everyone expected of him. Then @Karina had run away. And he was so ingrained in this new role, that he mistook the urge to follow her for proper protective instinct: Of course he needed to go after her, he needed to watch over her, bring her back and make sure she didn't get hurt; Didn't disappear..! It wasn't until he was out there, exploring the vast, unknown like he used to, that the assumed appearance had shed with his winter fur, taking a ton off weight off his shoulders with it. The realization had crept up on him from then on out, he hadn't run after his sister, he'd run away too. But once it had dawned on the young lad, he'd made a stern decision to return, let this search for his sister be a last adventure, before he took up the mantle as protector once more. He wasn't happy about it, far from, but it was what he had to do. So he found Karina, and he turned his nose home, because his family needed him. But the thing was, no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't good enough. He'd come home and what had happened? His father was dead, Naia was dead… And as he stood there, burying his face deeper in his mothers fur, trying to find order in his tangled thoughts, it occurred to Orren just how useless he actually was. He'd gone away, he'd given in to that feeble part of his heart that wanted more. And what had happened? Nothing! He'd come back to a pack just as happy and strong as he left it, even without him there, they'd managed fine. And then he came back; And everything fell apart..! Claws dug into the mud, tears once more stinging in eyes pressed firmly closed; But I found Karina! A small voice pleaded, a weak defense against all the failure stacking up on him. Yes, he'd found her, and then he'd left her there, gone home without her; Because she promised to come home… And she had, pregnant, Orren gritted his teeth; Useless! What had he ever done that was of any worth? A hoarse croak escaped him almost involuntarily; "I just, I can't..!" Can't be Aleksei. No matter how hard he'd tried. Turning his stinging eyes down, the tall boy pulled away from his mother, breathing deeply multiple times to try and contain all the emotion racing through his body. His chest felt too tight, like the woods were closing in around him, suffocating him. "I don't think I can stay here…" The words fell from his lips with only the slightest quiver, a blink clearing the fresh tears from his eyes before he looked up at his mother, looked into those loving eyes that had always offered comfort and understanding; "It's too much, I… Everywhere I look, I see them, I can't…" His voice caught, gaze flickering for a second before he forced it back up. When he spoke again his words were no more than a hoarse whisper: "I need to get out of here, just for a little while, go somewhere else…" He didn't know what else to say, couldn't fully explain this need he felt pressing so strongly; To run… Word count: 756 ”Speech" Thoughts

FurLined @DA

PLOT WITH ME!

There is a rabbit's nest nearby. +1 Health

His words stirred her heart to wilt even further, though she wouldn’t have believed it possible until that moment. But as much as her initial reaction was to bristle at the thought of his abandonment, she could feel her heart flicker with muted agreement. That yes, if she could too, she would give anything to escape.. even if just for a little while.

She pulled herself back slightly, her eyes studying over the form of the youthful wolf. Orren – her sweet, adventurous boy – was the one in the end who had looked after them all. Aleksei had proven to hold too much wanderlust.. even to the point where he would not tell his family when he was going – or if he ever intended to return. Karina, for as gentle and as sweet as she was, also had this tendency – to simply leave, without thought to the worry it might cause her family. And now, before her was her most adventurous child – informing her of his leave – seeking her blessing.

“Whatever you need,” she murmured, feeling her voice crack before trying to clear her throat. Her nose would push forward to brush against his cheek in reassurance – her heart feeling more hollow at the thought of losing yet one more of her family. But this was not about her, and so she stilled her aching heart – willing it to wait until he was away from her view before it could break.

sparking up my heart

last one from Orren, you can archive or fade as you see fit <3

The silent moments ticket away, each one seeming like a small eternity. The boy watched his mother, seeing every small twitch of her features, forcing himself to keep looking. He knew this would hurt her, how couldn't it, he hated himself for doing this to her, and 'I'm sorry' itched in his throat. But he held it back. If first he started apologizing, he feared all his resolve would fade, he would slip back into his ill fitting role and continue to stumble along, trying to shield her. But in the end, he was a poor shield, and Kisla was stronger than him in every way; There's no point. Finally her answer fell, small and croaked, but the one he had hoped for. The one he knew she would give, because she was his mother. He leaned into her last caress, doing his best to memorize the sensation, and then he nodded his head, eager to get away before his weakness gave in. Every moment he looked at her, he felt it chipping away. But he allowed himself one last glance, forcing his numb tongue to form the words: "Thank you." That was all he could say, and he had to hope that everything else rang through in that statement. He had no more strength. Turning away from Kisla, he didn't exactly run, but moved swiftly towards the border, out of Kingsfall, and eventually out of Relic Lore. Word count: 238 ”Speech" Thoughts

FurLined @DA

PLOT WITH ME!

And so that was it. The honeyed she-wolf enveloped in to her son’s last leaning touch, and sooner than she could protest, it was over. She watched him go, unable to respond to his gratitude as he moved away from her with purpose – to find the borders and no doubt move across them with equal finality.

And as he disappeared from sight, the mother was left with a vast silence that stretched before her. Nature itself seemed to be sleeping in that moment, and rooted to her spot for the moment, Kisla finally pulled herself forward, ignoring the tremor of her heart as she moved toward the den she had once shared with her late mate – though in truth, even during his last days he had not slept at her side for months.

As she reached the ever silent opening of her den, she stared in to its empty depths – Lekalta and Inna had been raised here. She and Maksim had dug out the den themselves, with the promise of a fresh start to themselves and their followers.

And now the world was empty.

Ducking forward, she ignored the blatant fact that the scents of such haunting memories were long gone – all she could smell now was herself. Closing her eyes, Kisla tucked herself away from the world for now – unable to move.

sparking up my heart