Fallen Tree Cove moonlight kissed

Ever since she was little Kajika knew that Lunette was going through something but he'd never been able to know exactly what. So as much as. He tried he'd never been able to truly help her. Over the months he'd gotten some clues but he couldn't even be sure that what had troubled her then was what troubled her now. All he felt he’d been able to do was gain her trust so that she could have at least one wolf that she could turn to when she needed someone.

Everyday that she seemed to suffer only made him want to help her to figure things out so that maybe one day she could find peace. So badly he wanted her to be happy and to feel completely comfortable in her life. He often wondered if that day would ever come for her or if she would always be in this state of unsettled. He was glad she was back but he couldn't help but wonder for how long. Would she disappear on him for good one day? He of course hoped she wouldn't but Lunette was her own wolf now and made her own choices.

Many times from the things she'd said he believe that something had happened within her family. Something unseen by him that had led her to the place she lived in and now she couldn't find her way back.

When he finally joined her she leaned into him as she always did. It was comforting to know she was there and had returned. He had missed her, missed the times they would spend together laying on a stone in the sun. The silence between them was often comfortable and it was worth her that he would put everything else aside and just enjoy the moments that passed without any worries. He needed those moments to cope with being a leader and carrying the worries that came with it.

A question hung between them that he'd asked. It was about how she'd felt before Namid had left, he wondered if her mother leaving to find her children might have had something to do with the way she felt. Her answer however led him to believe that it didn't which also believed that it didn't have anything to do with her father leaving either. “Maybe setting happened to you before that, a long time ago that led to this feeling?” He suggested. Perhaps that was the answer.

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She was made out of contradictions: a bastion, impenetrable and full of ferocity, yet at the same time, fragile like dry bones, easy to snap. Sharp edges, but somehow, still soft. It was difficult to reconcile all the bits and pieces, odds and ends, to put them together and get some kind of coherent whole she could look at and say this, this is Lunette. She just .. was, feral and frightened, always coming back for more, always getting bitten again.

She waged a silent war against herself. Not even the incident with the big cat more than half a year ago, or her fight with her mother, or her apology in the dead of night, mattered—none of it mattered anymore, faded and gone. They had never been her enemies.

It had always been herself.

At least Kajika accepted her word for what it was, a glimpse into the storm. He didn't question, he didn't argue, but he nudged her mind. Her ears fell back, and she glanced away. The anger always lay close to the surface—maybe something happened? Oh, yeah, I got born.

I'm broken. Stop trying to fix me.

It wasn't the first time she wondered if there was truth in what the monster said—that she was just wrong in some way, a sickness you couldn't see or smell or treat, and that she would always be an unsettled, restless monster prowling outside the comfort and warmth. A creature so frustrated it bit whatever came near, just dooming itself further.

"It's always been like this," she repeated, her voice low, heart rushing. She was closer to a confession than she had ever been, and she wasn't sure she liked it. "I used to be scared of everything, right? Even though nothing had ever happened. I'd been safe my whole life, but I was still sure something was going to eat me. I've been loved my whole life, yet I can't ..believe it," she finished, her voice hollow as she glanced aside.

Many times in the past Kajika had tried and failed to figure out what was happening to Lunette. They had been times when he thought he'd known and plenty more times when he had been just as lost as he was in that moment. He worried that whatever it was she would never be at peace with who she was or where she belonged.

While she trusted him and often confided in him some things he'd never been able to get out of her what truly ate at her. She had changed so much from that first day when their friendship started to now as she stood on the border wanting to come back home. Still he had to wonder was this really her home? Or was it somewhere else with different wolves that could help her find that peace he so wished she could have?

Then there was a question of answers. She had gone looking for them, that was the journey she was returning from. It didn't seem that she had found the answers that she was looking for and again he was set to wondering if she would ever find the answers that she sought.

Kajika had come to the conclusion that he couldn't solve her problems and instead just be there. He could be the one who listened when she wanted to talk. Ask her the questions that she may not of thought to ask herself in hopes they might stir something inside her. Most often he was the one who would sit with her when she wanted to sit quietly.

The question that hung between them now was of something might have happened that had caused her to feel as she did. Maybe it was something in her puppyhood that he'd been unaware of or something that had happened later in her life. He even wondered if the loss of her sister and then her parents had brought on these feelings. Then she spoke of things he'd not yet heard that were even more worrying. He remained silent letting her get it all out, he didn't like to interrupt the young Vuesain when she spoke like she was.

His expression was thoughtful as he considered her words. “Do you know why you were afraid of everything, what made you so sure that something was going to eat you. What is it that makes you feel like you can't believe that you are loved?” He asked these questions hoping to maybe understand a little more or help her to understand a little more what she was feeling. It was all he could think to do to help her get better.

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If she had the answers...

Her earliest days had been less concerned with why; it had just been that way. Foolishly, she had thought everyone felt like she did, that they were just pretending it wasn't so, but as she the months passed.. she had begun to realize that they didn't. Then Kajika had left, and she had left shortly after, and nothing had ever been the same again.

She wanted to blame herself for it, that it was somehow her fault that the easy companionship of her childhood had been turned into something tainted by the darkness within her. She came and she went, she was frustrated and anxious, wound tight... She hated everything, but not really.

Slowly, she turned her head away from his words. "No," she responded, suddenly closed off again, distant, on the other side of a mountain—a vast expanse of cold between her and those who came dangerously close. And in truth, it was a partial lie. She did not know why she was afraid, but the matter of love... The monster bared its fangs and sunk them in deep, hissing because who would ever love you, darling idiot? around her flesh.

"Sorry," she muttered, for not being better.

Kajika was trying to help Lunette to find the answers by asking her questions that she may not have thought of. He hoped that it might stir something inside her to help give her answers. He hoped that by finding the answers it would make things a little easier for her.

The dark alpha wished he knew what was going through her head so that he could help her in some way. He hated seeing Lunette seeming to be so upset all the time. Sometimes he felt she was the only one that he would never be able to help her. He worried that one day when she left it would be the last time he saw her.

He gave a slow nod at her answer to show he understood her answer. She didn't know why which wasn't the end but it would make things a little harder for her to figure things out. His ears perked at her apology and he moved closer to her. “Don't apologize Lunette. You haven't don't anything wrong. We can keep trying to figure things out but why don't you come home and get some rest and something to eat. We can talk more later or we can sit by the lake. Whatever you want to do now that your back.”

He brushed his cheek against hers in hopes of comforting her and helping her to feel welcome in the cove once more.

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Wrap this up in your next post, maybe? <3

Turned out she wasn't ready to speak of some things; to admit just how .. not normal .. she was. It laid somewhere between her heart and her tongue, a cold, dread weight. Still, she swallowed those words, afraid of how they would change how he saw her—that he would scoff at her, perhaps not believe her, and leave her.

It wasn't fair to him, but irrationality wasn't fair. It was a fear she lived with, a thing singing discordant songs in her blood, a useless blabbering about how it was no fault of his, truly, no one would blame him if he left her, because who would want to be around her if they truly knew how weird and sick she was, no, it would just be understandable—

“Don't apologize Lunette.” She bit her own dark lips, caught them lightly between her teeth, silver shoulders tense. She wanted to apologize again, apologize for the apology, or, as he went on talking, perhaps simply collapse into a pile of bones and fur and cry. It reminded her too much of sitting exhausted down in the Dogwood Strath, with Reiko saying he'd take her to his home and get her fed and figure out how to get her back to her home; maybe not in those words, but that meaning. She drew a slightly unsteady breath, closed her eyes, and leaned into his touch again. "A-alright..." she mumbled, suddenly weary to the core, exhausted and fragile. "That sounds nice."

Come home. Home wasn't a place, she realized; home was in those words, in his voice.

Somehow, it made her feel less lonely.

Fading and archiving. I will add Lunette to the roster.

As long as he was alpha of Fallen Tree Cove Lunette would always be welcome back into the pack. No matter how many times she left or how long she was gone she would have a home there as long as she wanted. Kajika felt it was what she needed, to know that she had a place to return to when she was ready.

He felt it was what Vespertio and Namid would want, even though they were no longer in the cove it had been their pack and Lunette was their daughter. On a more selfish note it was what he wanted, he wouldn't ever give up on her getting better and finding that peace he so wanted for her.

It was time for her to come home, to cross their borders and become part of the cove pack once again. A smile crossed his maw as she spoke, “Come then,” he said before brushing his side against hers and then leading her across the border.

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