Cedarwood Forest A spoon full of sugar

@Adsila

The guilt still hung heavily in her heart and on her shoulders, making them almost sag as Myrrhis settled down by the temporary den she had made for herself. The giant cedar trees that surrounded her somehow made her feel even smaller then she really was. She hated that feeling, even though deep down it was her fault entirely. It had been months since the incident had happened with the pup but the aching guilt still felt fresh. Myrrhis adored children and would never think a bad thing about them or even considered do anything evil to them.

Though, the young ones who often claimed that being fed ‘icky, evil herbs’ always managed to get a chuckle out of her and right now, it was not any different. She remembered her own litters that whined whenever they caught something that required having to take something foul tasting but often good for them. Neoma would scowl at whatever plant was in front of her but bitterly swallow it. Rayne wouldn’t quite complain, the quiet and polite child he was but he never could hide the wince from the taste. Senka however...Senka would glare at the herbs as if they were meant to kill her instead of heal and it took plenty of coaxing and sometimes bribery for her to take them. Florence though, he would nose them around, taking in their scent before they were gone. His agemates, her youngest children that grew up alongside him, often just sniffled at the herbs and take them.

As she reminisced about her pups, her heart swelling at the thought of them, Myrrhis didn’t realise that hot tears had begun to form at the corners of her eyes. Feeling them run down her cheek, Myrrhis shook her head and tried to wipe them away. Tears for the past would not help at all. Her children were all grown up and living their own lives. They could look after themselves, even if she still saw them as pudgy looking furballs, who couldn’t quite control their legs yet. Myrrhis tucked her front legs up to her chest as she leant further against the tree, a small smile playing on her lips as she kept remebering.

She felt lonely. Her and Karpos had slowly become distant with each other. They hadn't seen or been around each other for a minimum of two months, maybe more. She felt isolated, like a ghost left to wander the earth; seeing people, but unable to interact with them in any way. It was like there was a barrier between her and everyone else, a barrier that she could not cross, no matter how hard she tried. She wished to do something, talk to someone, to not be alone, but she couldn't. She didn't want to risk it, the danger was too high.

Huffing softly to herself, she gazed up at the clear sky, a low, mourning howl emerging from her maw. It betrayed the sadness and the grief she felt, her loneliness, the despair that had crept into the pit of her stomach and took hold, and the feeling of wanting it all to end. All the pain that she had felt, she wanted it gone, she wanted happiness, someone to be with, but it could never happen. She was damaged goods, and no one would want her. When her brief song ended, Adsila lowered her muzzle and dragged her paws along the ground, staring at her feet as she walked, not caring where she went.

The Young Slayer Girl was not sure how long she had spent walking, nor did she care, but eventually something would have to happen. With her luck, it was something bad. "Ouch! Shit!" Adsila cursed profoundly as she walked straight into a branch, its curling ends grabbing at the fur around her head. Backing away and shaking her head, she winced at the flaring pain before it diminished into a dull ache. Growling to herself, she sighed loudly before sitting down on her haunches, head drooping so her muzzle almost touched the ground. She couldn't be bothered anymore, might as well just give up for the time being.

324 Words

A frown soon replaced Myrrhis’ smile when a mournful sounding howl echoed throughout the woods, speaking of great sadness, grief and loneliness. As it tapered off, Myrrhis was already on her paws, heading in the direction it sounded from, ready to find the woeful creature who was making such a dreadful noise and to offer any help. It tore at her heart to hear such a sound, so mournful and broken sounding, it made her wonder what had happened in the wolf’s life-for surely it was a wolf’s howl she had just heard-to make it so.

It was not long before she came across the source, an loud exclamation of “Ouch! Shit!” That drew her attention slightly to the left of her. A young wolf, a yearling judging by her size, was crouching close to the ground and to Myrrhis, looking rather pitiful, curled up as she was with her nose nearly touching the ground. Myrhhis’ heart thudded painfully at the sight of her because the dark coat reminds the older dame of one of her children and can’t Myrrhis see Neoma now, all pride and elegance and anger...

Shaking her head, Myrrhis casts the memory aside. There was a wolf that needed her help now and to be stuck in the past would do no help at all. Putting on a face that hopefully shows kindness, and stepping closer to the wolf but not close enough for her to lash out and strike Myrrhis, the dame calls out to her.

”Are you alright my sweet? I heard the howl before, you don’t need any help?” It was a simple off, an easy one to dismiss or accept.

It wasn't long before a figure appeared, unbeknownst to the Young Slayer Girl whom had closed her eyes in an attempt to imagine she was someplace else. Anywhere else in the world, other than the very place where she sat. Such a woeful wolf. The older, grayed figure could have been standing there for hours, and Adsila wouldn't have noticed in her daze of sadness. In reality, the figure only stood there for a few moments before stepping closer and speaking. Whipping up her head, silvery green eyes widening in fear, she stumbled backwards, half tripping over her own back paws in the process to get away from the figure. "S-ssorry..." she squeaked as she leaned her back against a cedarwood tree, body trembling. "I didn't realize anyone was close by...I thought I was all alone."

Her breath came quickly as she stared at the grey female, who even though had a kind expression on her face, wanted nothing more than to escape. She didn't want to have her heart broken again when the one she loves the most, or someone that she considers a friend leaves her, or ignores or for long periods of time, or even is close by but doesn't interact with her. Being shut out was one of her worst fears, and so she had torn herself apart from society to stop that happening. Everyone she knew had left her: her mother, her father, Lachesis, Anastasia, Capella, all of Pitch Pine Trail, even Karpos. The only one that hadn't left her was Ace, but she couldn't go back to him. Not like this. "I-I should g-go," Adsila stammered. But she didn't move a muscle.

278 Words

Myrrhis looked on with a touch of concern when the girl leapt to her feet, stumbling over her own paws and the apologies and excuses falling choppily from her maw. The young wolf looked half terrified as the older wolf stared at her, suddenly remembering her own pups and how heart achingly this young far just looked like she needed someone to talk to.

"There is no need for you to leave, it sounded as if you were hurt so I thought I'd investigate." Myrrhis reassured her in an almost motherly tone. She had scented the borders of a pack well beyond where she had settled these past few days and wondered if this girl was a part of it. "You would not begrudge an old wolf like me some company would you? I have been on my own for some time now and I wouldn't mind the company of such a pretty young wolf." Myrrhis had no idea how the younger wolf would react to her words but Myrrhis hoped she would agree. The old healer was telling the truth when she said she wanted some company.

Though, she certainly wasn't going to force it onto one who did not want it. "My name is Myrrhis by the way." She added breezily as she settled down on the ground, keeping her distance in case the wolf didn't like close contact. "I'm a healer."

(This post was last modified: Oct 27, 2014, 10:03 AM by Myrrhis.)