Cedarwood Forest a void never satisfied

& NOW I KNOW THE ONLY COMPASS THAT I NEED

She lost eye contact with him again, but her own gaze refused to move, continuing to try and discern anything that it could from his dark features. That he didn't want her to stop talking emboldened her, and that he admitted to having no words gave her heart a hard tug. Somehow, she didn't often find herself having that problem, but she was able to sympathize with such a plight all the same. Maybe the difference truly was Kenelm. That bothered her to know; even after he had gone, she was still discovering just how deeply he had helped her, and she would never have the chance to repay him. Confiding in him had helped her to become familiar with her own feelings, to reason them out and come to terms with them. What if Tomen had never had a Kenelm? Was that maybe why it all was unraveling in just this way?

I can't... Nineva stepped forward, ears raising and worry infecting her expression. She didn't want to make him hurt more with this, and part of her wanted to speak up and tell him that he didn't need to visit places he didn't want to. But he knew that, didn't he? She wished she knew for certain if this would be healthy for him or not. Kenelm would have known.

Then he finally did get something out, and it broke her heart. Without further hesitation Nineva rushed her friend, fitting herself against his chest and burying her face against the ruff of fur just below his temple. Her hind legs curled up under her as she reclined and stilled within the embrace.

You were not a mistake, she assured him. I would be so lonely if you weren't here, Tomen. You're so important.

She didn't want him to continue thinking otherwise for another single second. She knew that sneaking feeling, had felt it especially strongly the night her mother had left; that she and her siblings had not been worth sticking around for. That Tomen felt anything similar, much less something even worse was heart wrenching and she wished that simple words could fix it. While she doubted it would be so easy, knew, it would not hinder her from trying.

Who would keep the owlets at bay if you weren't here? she attempted weakly to get him to smile again, even if just briefly.

IS THE ONE THAT LEADS BACK TO YOU.

When was the last time someone had embraced him so openly, had offered their comfort and warmth and love? The fog dulled the pain, but it dulled his memories of what it felt like to lie curled up with his mother, to sit in between the warm bodies of his parents, to wrap his arms around their necks and be enveloped in turn. He had shunned company and in so doing created a cold bubble around himself which nobody seemed to burst anymore. Except Nineva. As she pushed up against him, he leant into it, pressing his cheek and nose into the thick fur of her neck, needing and craving this basic contact and comfort. Her simple act was so profound to him that he could not hold back the single sob which jerked at his whole body, a manifestation of his pain in every muscle and bone, but then he quietened.

Not a mistake. It wasn't her truth to tell, and yet, it was; her own version of it. Quite apart from the whole rotten mess, she could have her own truth, and in that truth he was important. Whatever reality was with Rook and Quil and Veho and the rest of them, all of them, that was entirely separate.

He could learn to accept her version of the truth.

Sniffing, he buried his nose a little deeper in her fur, not trusting himself yet to speak lest he be caught in sobs, but he had to thank her somehow. And then came her small jest, a little beacon of silliness in a dark room, and the unexpectedness of it caught his sadness off guard; he giggled into her ruff, muffled and quiet but real, and the very act of it was enough to ease the tightness in his throat and fend off the tears.

"Yeah," he muttered thickly, unable to help the small smile, "Pru woulda had you without me." He held on for a few more moments, then, hesitantly, pulled back enough to separate their chests and untangle their necks. He didn't waste time, Tomen knew what he wanted; reaching for her forehead with his own, he pressed it against hers, connecting them from their skulls to their noses which pointed to the ground. With a sigh he closed his eyes, finally feeling a contentment not earned through escape. Peace from togetherness.

Archived~

& NOW I KNOW THE ONLY COMPASS THAT I NEED

She pressed even closer as what could be heard and seen fell behind what she could so profoundly feel from him. When she felt the shaking of his shoulders, something so significantly different from the choke of sadness, her ears pressed forward to take in that soft sound of his laughter. It was different than any other time she'd made him chuckle before, but it felt just the same, warming her chest and infectiously bringing a smile to her own face. Nineva realized just how much she had missed that endearing sound.

When he moved, she remained, malleable to whatever it was he wanted. Her eyes opened to gauge his movement but were swiftly swept closed again when leaned back in. Her smile strengthened as his wet nose touched hers, before an even look of tranquility abated her features. Silence overtook them, and that was perfectly alright. Nineva would stay for however long he wanted, with or without words, holding him or walking with him, whatever it was that her friend needed. This was far more important than any of her own problems.

IS THE ONE THAT LEADS BACK TO YOU.