Sacred Grove lies from the lips of priests

Aiyana Tainn

I walk upon the river

A cold, bitter wind blew in from the mountains, rustling bare branches and making ancient trunks creak and groan in protest. Darkness held the forest in an icy grip, clouds obnubilated the stars and thick fog hung between the majestic trees. Within her thick black coat, Aiyana was not cold, despite the snow dusting her and the breeze ruffling her fur. No, she did not freeze, but neither was she hot. The elements balanced each other out well, and it was with slow steps she walked through the snowy Grove. Over the past months she had begun to flesh out her frame, though she would always remain slender she was no longer as skeletal as she had been. Of course, it would be visible for a few months yet that she was ganglier than the rest, but in appearance she seemed more of an adult than a pup now, albeit a slim one. The steps she took were long, with a kind of subconscious grace; Aiyana was a creature of the darkness, preferring to sleep during the day, and coming out once the sun went down. She felt more comfortable in the shadows, slinking around, seldom interacting beyond greetings, close to never speaking or sharing her thoughts. She'd begun to pull her weight in hunts, and had come a long way from her first struggle with that fawn, but it was obvious to any who saw her, or her golden gaze, that she held something dark, a buried secret, next to her heart. Guarded were her eyes, not letting even her mother in, but she did not let it hinder her. She hunted for them, and in some obscure, backwards fashion, she kept loving them, even if she wanted nothing but to isolate herself from them. But she knew the pain that would cause, and so, she dutifully waited, until they would either be able to take it, or they died, and wouldn't know she abandoned the constricting grove.

As she walked, what had begun as a patrol but then had become a trek further away, she let her thoughts roam. She never thought of, or spoke of, Rissa when the rest of the pack was near, and any mention of her was prone to make the black sister snarl and move away. Rissa was dead, and that was it — no one needed to have a chat with her about it.

Her poor, naive, stupid, silly sister... Rissa had always been stronger, buffer, frequiently pinning Aiyana, who could do nothing but outrun or outwit her. Would she have grown slender, like Aiyana, or would she have grown buff, like Fenru? If she had been here, what would she have done? Laughed, leaped around, chased shadows and hummed silly little songs? The faintest of smiles curved Aiyana's dark lips at the thought of her lively sister prancing through the snow, chasing unseen things under its powdery surface, dashing off after birds.. so carefree, and elegant, while her dark sister prowled on. Bit by bit the smile faded, and her dark ears fell against her skull, nestling in the fur there. She knew that to keep Rissa with her as a ghost, a conjured thoughts, would not bring her back, yet she couldn't force herself to let go. If she did, she would drown, fall into the hole carved in her heart and disappear. Without Rissa to hold her back, the void would consume her, until there was nothing left but bitterness.

Perhaps she would turn out that way anyway — she grimaced in the darkness, thought of blood, and wished one of those devils would show up so she could kill it, imagining their haunting stares in the fog, leering at her and disappearing when she came near. For Rissa, she would be able to do anything and everything, and the thought of it set a fire in her heart, and war thrummed in her veins.

Too bad she was so small, so inexperienced yet. The fire within flickered out, followed by a smoky sigh, and the dark-hearted girl prowled on, further away from home.

like it's easier than land

Love is all, from what I've heard, but my heart's learned to kill

(This post was last modified: Feb 15, 2013, 03:41 PM by Aiyana.)

♫ Goodbye Brother...

Night gathers, and now my watch begins.

Fenru Tainn

It shall not end until my death.

Fenru Tainn could not sleep. His nightmares had returned, paralyzingly vivid and more frightening than before. Even in his waking hours he saw her... Rissa, his beloved baby sister, sprawled out on the ground for the crows and other lowly scavengers to feast on. Making his way through the Grove on the path he had taken roughly eleven hours ago, he was surprised to discover that a smaller set of tracks now accompanied his old ones, which were now merely dimples in the ground from the coming, silent snowfall. He knew who belonged to those footprints. There was no need to lower his nose to the hard-packed frost to decipher who had made them.

The corners of his mouth twitched as he tried to smile, but he quickly found that he could not. Aiyana. So much had changed since Rissa had gone missing, and while he understood and accepted that the girl would soon enter her yearling days, he had not anticipated how dark, spiteful, and morose she had become. Only after climbing the mountain side did he realize that death and absolute, inevitable loss must have done that even the humblest of souls. Starting along her path, he allowed his hefty limbs to set his paws down wherever hers had been, a telltale sign that wherever the Tainn girl had gone, her older and much larger brother was not too far behind her.

For every two steps she had taken, one of his strides easily swept over their indentations. His heart partially sank in his ribcage as he forged through the snow. It seemed like only yesterday when he had greeted the little, black fur ball of a sibling last Spring. Head and ears up, eyes down, senses perceptive... All he really needed was the simple traces of her scent to guide him to where she was. When he could hear the sound of her paws compressing the snow underfoot, he gazed up, effortlessly picking out her skulking frame as she moved through the Grove.

His jaws parted to call after her. No sound came out. Sealing his lips, he took a step forward. Then another. And another... and another... before he had the courtesy to clear his throat and wordlessly announce that she was no longer alone. He gazed at the back of her head thoughtfully, nose twitching with his mouth kept at a neutral line. If only she would stop, to give him even the smallest of gestures to let him know that she acknowledged him. Perhaps that would be more than enough.

He had gone through a phase like this before, though the chord that had been struck was nowhere as close to home. Nevertheless he understood to a degree what she was going through, and it was apparent when he finally came to a stop that he was not demanding any answers. The snow began to gather on his crown and shoulders, and all along his back, but he did nothing to rid his thick Timber coat of the white flakes. His brows rose with a hint of concern as he continued to stare after her. Life wasn't fair, he knew now, but Aiyana, above all, should have been spared.

you cannot break me, i thrive regardless

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(This post was last modified: Mar 06, 2013, 11:02 AM by Fenru.)

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I am Fenrir I absolutely cannot post Aiyana in a timely fashion. Sorrysorry!

Aiyana Tainn

I walk upon the river

She wore the darkness like a mantle, like a cloak of shadows to diffuse the borders of her physical body; ethereal but a creature of the night, Aiyana slipped deeper into the trees, tendrils of fog curling around the trunks as the snow fell quietly from a dark sky. There was no light to cast shadows, but all was steeped in darkness instead, and even her golden gaze seemed muted. It was a long time since it had sparked with the curiosity of a child, a long time since it had shone like the sun. Every bit a wolf, but one who sought solitude whenever she could; her heart was bitter and aching, her mind nothing but a nest of loss and pain. To her cynical, logical mind, the course of action, the remedy for the pain, was simple, easy, straightforward: do not love. Do not care. Do not form bonds. Yet the love with which she had been conceived, and raised, demanded she not hurt her family more by push them away. She had to wait. She had to wait, and only in the future would she be free to roam alone and further sink into the ice. Aiyana was not a cruel creature; she felt no need to torment others, to inflict upon others the pain she had gone through. She was merely, cold.

But not even wraiths are left alone long, and least of all so when they slip like a bit of night embodied through a forest of snow. Even without a moon to light it all she was visible, and the prints she left bore her telltale scent, the brush of a flank against a tree or a bush marking the trail of her lonely walk. Slowly, her ears flicked back to the sound of snow under paws, a hushed breath, and without looking she knew that it was Fenru, her brother. For a moment she closed her eyes, tried to forget the bruise upon her heart, the way it ached; she knew what her chilly demeanor did to some of them.. how they could not understand why she withdrew. And in a way, she loved him, fiercely; she wanted to remember how to look at what he did in awe, how to laugh and smile and play with him, but whenever she touched those memories, or the notion of playing, it felt like a numbness settled in her bones and the muscles of her body grew cold and useless, her heart weighed down and anchored in a rigid, stoic facade. She opened her eyes in the darkness, wondering idly while a heart of ice could feel bruised.

She kept going, until he saw fit to let her know he was there — of course, she had already known, her nose and ears tuned in to his near-silent passage. For a moment she toyed with the idea of breaking into a run, of disappearing into the depths of the world like a fleet-footed deer and leaving this all behind.. or of just going, without looking at him, leaving him to prowl restlessly in her wake or to give up while she merged with the forest around them. One step, two, three, four.. only some ten steps later did the angular girl halt, her tail hanging limp behind her and her ears sweeping forward again as she raised her head. She did not speak. She did not turn. She did not look upon him, but rather, looked upon the forest, and wondered what it was he wanted from her. Bitterly, guiltily, she wished that he would've given up hope long ago, and left her to her lonely misery. That would've been so much easier.

like it's easier than land

Love is all, from what I've heard, but my heart's learned to kill

S'okay! <3 butomgmyheartisbreakingforher...

Night gathers, and now my watch begins.

Fenru Tainn

It shall not end until my death.

His eyes stared after her for what seemed like ages, his heartbeat quickening as he kept his eyes on the rhythm of her footfalls. With each step that was taken and followed, he ached and prayed that she would not disappear or steal away from him. Everything about her posture, even her body language, seemingly told him to keep his distance, that he was not welcome near her without an invitation. When she stopped in her tracks, he took one more step forward then held his ground.

The silence that had once been kept at bay with the soft crunching of snow beneath their feet rushed in all around them and pressed harshly against Fenru's ears. Was this how she was going to acknowledge him? Without words? Without even a sound? He noticed immediately how her tail hung at her heels and the worry that he had staved away time and time again since he had returned from the other side of the mountain came rushing back to the surface. She did not even glance over her shoulder to look upon him.

His head tilted to one side sadly, chords of all sorts being painfully struck left and right. While he had nearly drowned at the ruthlessness of a flood, Aiyana had suffered from the most terrible sort of separation. Not only had she been abandoned by her father, she had been hit by the news of her age-mates' disappearances and the emotional breakdown of their mother. Her eyes kept to the forest before her and Fen tilted his chin up when he realized it had dipped down from the weight of his realizations.

Was this how Ice had felt when he had discovered him that day when he was alone in the middle of a clearing? Had he been this concerned?

He grimaced, sniffing once before he found his voice. "Where do you go when all the others go to sleep?" The question, shattering the silence it occupied, made his voice crack halfway in the middle of it, and the moment he uttered it, he wished he had asked the question he had been aching to ask. Is there anything I can do to fix you? Ice's attempt, when thought back on it, seemed to have been laid out so easily, every question and every word had effortlessly provided him with a stepping stone to ease himself out of the abyss he had dug himself into. His choice of words and topic only seemed to make the air between them colder and more fragile that it already was.

you cannot break me, i thrive regardless

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this is short but. <3

Aiyana Tainn

I walk upon the river

Heavy, hollow and dusky, she stood in silence and listened as his steps faded. She did not wish to look upon him, to see the separation of their souls, of their bodies; it was enough, how far apart they lay in her heart. She did not want to see his eyes. Would they be pained, and worried? Anxious? She exhaled slowly, a little cloud in the dark night, seeping into the snow and fog, disappearing. If only she could do the same. Muted, dimmed, eyes tracked the slow fall of snowflakes, listening to Fenru's breath, wishing she could tell him, and everyone, that she was alright. That this was, how it was supposed to be, and that it was for the better, and that they should not worry.. but her dark lips remained sealed over her mouth, and instead she was forced to wait, accompanied by nothing but the distant echo of her heart, and the pressing darkness of her mind. It drowned out all the rest; it ate the light from the sun, it stole the scent from the wind, and turned even the snow to ash beneath her paws. So silly of her, to once have worried about the leaves turning red and the clouds falling from the sky.. to once have thought the Light to be her friend. She felt better without it, wrapped in her cloak of dark and cold.

Silence did not last. She had not expected it to, had known it would end, either with the crunch of snow under paws or in this manner: words. Questions always came, despite the way she tried to not bring attention to herself, to not make them happen; questions, which probed her bitter soul and pained heart. She did not know where it came from, exactly, only the remedy.. the cure life had so cruelly forced upon her. One black ear swiveled to his voice, ignoring the crack in it. She did not want to cause him pain, but the tighter they clutched her, the harder they clung to her, the deeper they would fall with her. If they only took a step back, it would hurt a lot less.. The black ear turned forward again.

"Away," she replied, the single word falling coldly from her mouth.

like it's easier than land

Love is all, from what I've heard, but my heart's learned to kill

<3

Night gathers, and now my watch begins.

Fenru Tainn

It shall not end until my death.

His heart seemed to skip a beat as her ear turned to one side. She was listening... "Away," she answered him. Fenru righted the angle of his skull, both of his ears eagerly swiveling forward. A part of him wondered if this particular "place" was the exact state of mind he had visited when he was her age, but his sense of reason whispered that their reasons for "closing up" had come about at different times and different reasons. In that case, to him, it was highly probable that she went to a place further out of reach.

"May I go with you?" he then questioned, a hint of a hopeful smile tugging at his lips. The muscles in each of his lengthy limbs itched to draw closer, to vanquish the distance between them physically and emotionally. He had once been close to Rihael and he had yet to rekindle his kinship with Kisla... If Indru, Triell, Kinis, and even Ruiko had been able to bond as brothers, the older set taking care of the younger, what was to keep him from bonding with his now only younger sibling?

Fenru made it a point to make sure she understood where he was coming from, that his previous question was neither sarcastic nor inattentive in the sense that he understood that the place she referred to was 'internal' or a state of mind. "I'm not going to lie and pretend I'm not worried," he admitted, his voice slightly louder than before. "I... just want to know that you're okay." He swallowed, pausing momentarily to compose himself. "I've been where you are now and I know this all hasn't been easy for you, us, and anyone else. I want you to know that you can always talk to me... even if only briefly."

you cannot break me, i thrive regardless

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Aiyana Tainn

I walk upon the river

"It is someplace I go alone," replied the dark girl, her voice slipping out from its prison of fangs and into the night beyond. One shoulder gave a twitch, and snow cascaded to the ground. Slowly, her eyes traveled upward, her throat constricting, her heart aching; she knew that Fenru was not stupid, that he knew it was solitude she sought when she wandered alone.. a place where it was only she and her thoughts, and the familiar rhythm of a smooth walk to rock her back into oblivion. It was from her family she went, out into the cold, lonely beyond, to slither among the familiar trees of the Grove like a snake haunting the shadows. She could not take Fenru with her, into that; logic defied it, and her willful seclusion demanded she cannot. Surely he would understand that her solitary night walks were for her, and her alone — she, the sister left behind. Would it have been easier, if she lay dead beside Rissa, their souls playing among the stars together?

Aiyana had always been a silent child, but she had smiled and she had romped; assertive, dominant and quiet, she had so often sought to stand above her sister, nipping her whenever she had the chance, yet it was close to her she had slept each night.. comforted by all the nonsensical words filling up her own silence. Her golden eyes closed; if only she had not been stupid enough to try and track her on her own.. if only she'd given up sooner.. if only she'd called the pack.. if only she hadn't loved so fiercely it had obliterated every sane thought.

Love was a dangerous thing.

She was not as foolish now, as she had been after Indru had left, when Triell had sought to comfort her but she had had nothing but spite for him. It was a bitter memory, but the lesson had remained with her, cemented into her memory by the white, unknown female crying out her heart to the frosty stars to the south. Aiyana was not the only one who suffered, but she would not walk the path others took. She had found a place within the pain and the shadows, a place where her mind felt light despite the heart's burdens, clarity even as her eyes glistened with tears — company, even though she was alone. The memory of Rissa's laughter was never far away, but the warmth of mortal presence chased it away. She could not find her place in the deep with Fenru beside her, and still not facing him, she listened to his voice. Of course they cared, of course they worried; she felt the tiniest twinge of guilt, before swallowing it. She was fine. She was doing what she had to. They worried despite her assurance, and that was not her fault.

"I am okay." But her voice was so cold, like the smooth rocks on the bottom of a winter river. It was not the uncertain lie of someone who wanted the attention, the queries, but the quiet conviction of a dark child who did not wish to worry her kin. They were worried enough as it were. Bridling her tongue she swallowed the desire to tell him that she was talking to him now, wasn't she? It had hurt her when her words had had the power to make Triell storm off into the shadows; she wasn't sure she could handle hurting Fenru in the same fashion. She did not wish to cause them pain, did not wish to be cruel. "Thank you," she added as an afterthought, feeling his offer of counsel merited something, even if she doubted she'd take him up on it. Quietly she waited, wondering if that was all he had wanted, if she could leave and be on her way now — somehow, she doubted it.

like it's easier than land

Love is all, from what I've heard, but my heart's learned to kill

Night gathers, and now my watch begins.

Fenru Tainn

It shall not end until my death.

His sister told him that she was okay. She wasn't great or fine; she was "okay." At least she confirmed the fact and put most of his worries to rest but Fenru still had to keep himself from lurching forward to embrace her. To run his nose and lips along her ears and bury his face into her sable shoulder, just to make certain that she was truly all right. Then, she thanked him...

A smile should have inched further up along his maw and a simple "you're welcome" should have been proffered, but the Tainn found that he just simply could not let her be. "Aiyana..." her name hung on his lips but he failed to come up with a valid reason as to why he had called out her name. His large ears lowered and, somehow, he picked up on a feeling that he might not have been welcome in her presence to begin with.

The traces of his grin fell away and all too suddenly he felt like he was imposing, badgering her, suffocating her. She could have been splenetic with him after keeping her attention and company for a moment too long and he could only have just picked up on it. "I'm thinking of leaving home for a few weeks," he divulged. "I don't know when I'll take my leave but... I... I wanted you to know."

"I know you can take care of yourself," he added hastily, glancing down to the forest floor under his paws. "You're a lady now... An' I just wanted to make sure you're okay before I go. I want... wanted to make sure that you knew that I'm not abandoning you... like he did."

you cannot break me, i thrive regardless

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#greatestfailureofalltime

Aiyana Tainn

I walk upon the river

The darkness held them in a precarious balance, and behind her she felt it shift; somehow everything slid off the side and crashed to the floor in an unceremonious pile of broken, dusty glass. She could almost hear it, too, in the spaces between his breaths, but the sounds that came out of his jaws were not the tinkle of subtle destruction, but her own name. And somehow, she thought she knew why he said it — clinging, to desperate dreams, attempting to rope her into a life that was no longer hers, a time which had since long gone by, never to come again. As if her name was a spell, and invoking it would solve problems and pull her sooty heart closer to his. Her eyes were shut, her dark head craning slightly to the side as her ears fell back. Even when she kept the words under lock and key, bridled her tongue and sought to cause no harm, she did. He knew that he was an interloper on her dark wandering, and while she felt no guilt for that, she did feel it for the pain she knew it would cause.. pinpricks of poisoned needles under his skin.

But what could she say? I'm sorry? For what? No; she sought to not drown others in her darkness, and perhaps it was time that they learned to live with it, too.

His voice bridged the silence between them again, and her golden eyes opened in the darkness, one cast back towards him as the tilt of her head increased. It was not what she'd expected him to say, and for several moments she was silent, merely staring at him with a closed, unreadable expression. Somewhere, his logic did not make sense; he was leaving, to return, but wasn't the act of leaving bad enough? But then she sighed, and turned her head to the dark forest again, the soft snow still falling against them. She knew how he felt — the need to get away, breathe, see something else. Triell had offered to take her, and the bitter sting of her retort still left an ashen taste in her mouth.

"But what about you?" Her voice was musing, gentle, like the lightest touch of a feather, a breath in the darkness. "You're not okay, since you're going, are you?" Slowly her paws shuffled over the carpet of snow, a half-turn of her lithe, shadowy frame, the muted pits of her eyes staring at him across the distance. The corner of her mouth curled upward, but it was not a smile of love and joy, but one of humorless, bitter understanding. "You need not answer." Her voice was too light, as if it was somewhat of a twisted joke she was sharing with him, then her gaze turned back to the forest. The shadows called for her, crooned and whispered, promised to lull her into her oblivion and let her strained heart relax, remember how it was to breathe and beat easy.. and the ravens would sing her sister's laughter, a song to ease the pain of her passing. Could she leave them, for a longer time, to heal? Was it not her love that bound her to them, even when she knew that it would only bring pain in the end?

"You can walk with me," she suddenly said, her voice clipped. "Because I am going now." She waited not for a verbal response — he'd know to be quiet, wouldn't he? — but simply let her long legs extend again, carrying her black frame deeper into the shadows.

like it's easier than land

Love is all, from what I've heard, but my heart's learned to kill

mkay, derp sorry xD maybe you can post again and then archive? :3

Night gathers, and now my watch begins.

Fenru Tainn

It shall not end until my death.

"But what about you?" Aiyana questioned him, "You're not okay, since you're going, are you?" Her musing made his eyes snap up to take her in again. That was it then, he was still wearing his emotions on his pelt, carrying everything as though it had a physical weight that burdened his large frame. After everything and all he had gone through, it was still apparent that he had not yet outgrown or let go of the small yearling that Ice had discovered all alone.

"I--" he began but she cut him short. "You need not answer." He stared after her, his jaw agape and his eyes agleam like he had just been stung or slapped in the face. With a click his mouth shut and the pain gradually ceased, his sister was right... He did not have to tell her anything. She already knew. She knew what it felt like to lose a sibling or two or three, how it felt to suffer from Indru's absence and to grieve. The two ivory spots that made up his brows touched for the briefest moment before he finally understood...

Fenru Tainn had never grown up, never moved forward, never followed through to his adult duties because he had never had a moment to grieve... and there was much to mourn for. Now was not the time to lament for those Swift River had loved and lost. He was with his sibling, his only remaining younger sister, now and she offered him the chance to walk with her. She did not wait for him to accept the opportunity or affirm that he was wholeheartedly grateful for such a proposal, and before he knew it, she was walking away.

Sealing his lips and lowering his head he adopted a pace the easily kept up with hers, allowing her to lead and go wherever her heart dared to venture. Under the veil of night, he followed her silently, trusting her with all his heart as only an older brother could. There would never be another time like this one and Fenru, despite the pain each of them harbored and kept away within themselves, did all he could to cherish Aiyana, his precious "darkling of a sister, with every step.

(Fin.)

you cannot break me, i thrive regardless

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