Bit by bit the tension seemed to leave him as he heard her words and she was thankful that she'd been able to give him some peace. He did so much and tried to be so strong for everyone, including her. He was her Knight in Shining Armor, but that didn't mean that he didn't need someone to lift his spirits and give affirmation to his sometimes herculean efforts to do it all. She loved him and longed to truly be his princess, but she felt an all-encompassing satisfaction at being the one to steady him in the turbulence of life. Somehow, being here for him, right now, was the most important thing in her life and she was grateful that she'd found his trail when she had. In time to drag him back from the abyss that he'd been teetering on the edge of.
To bring him back to her... She flushed hotly at the thought, but reminded herself that she had yet to tell him of her final secret. He might figure it out if he put two and two together, but with all that he'd had on his mind, perhaps not.
Would knowing turn him away from her? That thought caused an actual physical pain to her heart, so she turned it away. Hollow needed her steady right now, not an emotional wreck.
As she finished speaking, she was as felt lost in the sea of Hollow's eyes, loving their uniqueness and the wolf that they graced with all of her young heart. She longed to tell him that she loved him, but she feared baring her heart and then having it destroyed if he turned from her. It amazed her to think that this one wolf had more sway over her than her old family and pack ever had, even combined. What he thought of her
mattered. Because of Solarra's gift of love, what they had thought had never truly mattered. It had saddened her occasionally and at moments angered her, but these feelings had been fleeting at best. Hollow, Nina, Koda and all the rest of her new pack mattered to her. As a pack mate, her condition could only be a benefit. If she were to ever become Hollow's
mate, it would make all the difference in the world.
Her small tangent of thoughts were brought back to the present when Hollow's nose softly touched her own. The light tough sent a slight shiver down her spine, making her tingle lightly as his touch usually did. The words that he spoke then
did break her heart. It was no wonder that he tried to take the world on his shoulders. He had lost everything too, but in a much more brutal way. At least she'd had Solarra. He'd had no one and nothing after losing everything. Now, he had a home and the same fear continued to plague him. Words escaped her as his pain and fear washed over her. She moved forward, boldly embracing him, stretching to wrap her golden head over his neck and shoulder in comfort.
As their hearts beat against each other his words sounded again in her head, but the ones that tightened her throat were
...especially you... The raw emotion and these words had her wondering,
Did he truly think so much of her? Care for her that much...even above the rest of the pack? She had done nothing to deserve such devotion and she became even more terrified of his reaction when he learned that she could
never have young. Her last hope that Solarra had been wrong somehow had died as time went by and her heat cycle never came. Pack law aside, she would never be a mother and if Hollow chose her, he would never be a father.
He would be such a wonderful father! Could she truly deny him that?
She shied away from that thought once more, focusing on Hollow's fears. Backing away, her soft eyes met his once more.
"Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in life as we both know all too well. But we are a strong pack and you are no young, inexperienced pup. You are a vigilant and vibrant guardian. I, for one, sleep well knowing that you have done your job and I know that the others do too. And if trouble does come knocking, we will be ready together. All of us." Azariah so wanted to tell him that she loved him and his valiant heart. She wanted to say the words so badly, but she could not. Not until he knew everything. Not until she knew that he loved her as she did him. The shame of it tormented the young fae even as she sought to comfort him.
Destiny leads and I follow...for I am Destiny's Child