Sex: FemaleSimaea was certainly stronger now that she had found Hollow for no whimper would escape her jaws but the sadness still burned within her. She thought back to what had been said when they claimed the territory. Mates Something the young she wolf never expected to have, never a mate, never a child. Maybe the joy would be her brothers. But never a scarred wolf such as herself, with a voice as hard as stone and the terrible scar across her neck. Simaea hoped she was wrong but if she wasn't at least she was prepared. A sudden thought occurred to the smallish she wolf, Whisper Caverns had no healer and Simaea was lightly trained in the art, maybe that was the way she could give her life fulfillment. The thought lightened her spirits a little, at least everything wasn't empty."speech"
Hope you don't mind the slight PPing, just tell me if you want it changed :)
It was another day, another border patrol. The same everyday. Kieth padded slowly along the border, refreshing the markings and checking for any new scents in the area. Lately, there had been many foxes around Relic Lore. He had seen many during the past few days, and had even chased one away earlier. Foxes were such a nuisance, stealing food from their caches. He growled silently, a rumble beginning to form in his chest. In his mind foxes were a waste of space, the world would be a much better place without them.
Pausing, he lifted his white muzzle into the air as he caught a taint on the wind. It was of a wolf, one he knew. A smile formed on his face as he padded towards the wolf. After a few minutes of travelling along the border, he came upon a black female with hues of brown and grey and chocolate brown eyes. Waving his tail amicably, he held a smile on his face as he padded closer to the black yearling.
"Hello Simaea, what a surprise to see you."
Kieth's voice was light and friendly as he spoke. His grey head was arched slightly downwards as he loked at her. She was lying down on the ground, with a saddened looked on her face. The grey male's smile fell slightly as he took in the sad expression on her face. "Is there something wrong Simaea?" He asked in a thoughtful and kind tone. He was worried for the black yearling, she didn't usually act like this. His pale grey eyes flicked momentarily around them, before shifting back to Simaea as he waited for her to speak, with a worried look on his face and his tail swaying back and forth, almost hesitantly behind him.you can't hide...
![[Image: wcpride3_by_terra_anne-d60id3y.png]](http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/095/0/8/wcpride3_by_terra_anne-d60id3y.png)
You can run, but you can't hide
"Hello Keith, I hadn't expected to see you out here. " She spoke softly in nearly a whisper. "It's nothing really just something Narime said at the meeting, and I'm wondering if I can be useful to the pack at all, I'm not very big so I can't be a guardian, and I have never hunted anything larger than a hare, or a squirrel on my own." For the moment she left her thoughts of being alone at the heart unsaid. Simaea was certainly not prepared to talk about that sort of thing, at least not now. "The only thing I know is a minor amount of healing, I couldn't be useful unless someone had cracked pads or a sniffle" She had a passion for helping wolves but if there was no one to train her how would she learn enough to be truly useful to her pack?
The grey male noticed that the black yearlings gaze looked everything but at him, as if she was too frightened to look him in the eye, and see the worried expression on his face. But after a few moments of silence Simaea spoke, albeit in almost a whisper. While the black yearling spoke, Kieth listened attentively to her words, and when she finished speaking, his pale grey eyes sought out her own brown eyes before he opened his jaws to speak. "Simaea, It doesn't matter if you can't hunt anything larger than a hare or a squirrel. The only thing that matters is that you are contributing to your pack, in your own way." His voice was soft and gentle, almost like a father talking to his only daughter, and his face no longer had its worried expression, instead it was more of a fatherly look.
A thoughtful expression crossed Kieth's face as he thought about what Simaea had said, and glanced around at his surroundings, contemplating her words carefully before he would speak. Indeed, she knew only little about healing, but that didn't mean that she couldn't help her pack mates with the simple things, such as what she had stated. Looking back at the black yearling with pale grey eyes, the grey male gave a warm smile before he spoke, with the same fatherly affection as before. "Even though you know only a little about healing, it doesn't mean that you can't help your pack with even the simplest things." He paused briefly to let his words sink in, and allow Simaea some time to think about what he had said, before continuing. "But if you really strive to learn how to heal, then all you have to do is ask someone, someone who knows all about healing."
But who would she ask?
you can't hide...
You can run, but you can't hide
But of course her own self doubt would be a bane for a while, something to hinder her development. Deep down the female knew that all of this was due to her viciously scarred past. The things she had seen would forever haunt her, more so than they would ever haunt her brother. For the girl had seen the throats torn from her loving parents. She remembered the sound, their last gurgling gasp, hoping to catch breath before the light left their eyes. She began to shake violently at the memories that flowed unbidden into her head, her inability to help, and that horrible sound.
"No! Stop!" she cried aloud to no avail, the memories would not cease, long moments passed before the memories faded again. Her eyes shone with desperate fear and her lips pulled tight as if to hold herself from vomiting. Much silence followed the episode to allow Kieth to speak, and to allow her to recover. When she was finally able, all she could do was gasp out, "It won't matter, I see them, I see them all the time, and I still cant help them. Even if I can find someone to teach me, where can I go? Who can I ask?" But still there was one thing in her mind, I just can't stop it.
After Kieth finished speaking, he was greeted with silence. The grey male didn't expect her to reply immediately, he knew that she needed to think about what he said first. But when Simaea started to shake violently, he rushed forward and stood next to her, making soft cooing sounds to try and calm her down. He nudged her muzzle softly with his as she cried out, and desperately tried to calm her down and stop her from shaking, as if in fear. A worried expression crossed his face, and a small whine escaped from his maw as she spoke. Was there something wrong that had happened to her in the past?
He had no idea who she was talking about, apart from her last words. Even though he didn't know who could, Simaea could always ask Narimé, he was sure she knew someone who knew all about healing. Kieth continued to make soft cooing sounds, hoping that her violent shaking would stop and that she would calm down from her agitated state.
After a few moments, the grey male slowly stepped back away from the black yearling, and stood off to her right and somewhat in front of her. He thought about what she had said. Who did she see? And why couldn't she help them?
Looking into her face with a worried expression on his face, Kieth spoke in a soft and gentle voice. "Tell me, who do see, and why?" If Simaea didn't want to answer him, that was fine. He wouldn't push her to do something that she didn't want to do. But he wanted to help her, and see if he could fix what was bothering her.
you can't hide...
You can run, but you can't hide
Her wails subsided after long moments and Simaea was able to speak clearly, he voice had more rasp than usual and she had huddled as closely as the could to Keith. From nearly under his belly, huddled in a ball almost no bigger than a pup from her appearance, she said, "It's them Keith, mother and father, The rouges, the rouges killed them, they took their throats, and I couldn't stop it I just couldn't, if-if maybe- if I had known how then then I could h-h-have put them back? Yeah I could have put them back!" Deep in the young female's mind she knew it ended, there had been no chance of there survival. But in the moment, lost in a memory, with wild staring eyes she had lost clarity and thought. Keith had never known, nor had Narime, or Hollow. Simaea was scared so much more deeply.
The rasp of the bandit wolves echoed in her ears every night. She slept fitfully, and all it took to uncover her deep despair had been one male. One caring pack mate who merely wanted to know her better, ask her what she wished to do. Now here she was, he knew.
Kieth stood there, frozen, unable to move or speak as Simaea spoke. Even though he tried to comprehend what she was saying, it was like she was speaking in a foreign language, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't understand. "Hollow? Where did you go? come back! Please help!" The pure sorrow, heartbreak and utter despair that Simaea cried out filled him until he just couldn't stand it anymore. Quivering, Kieth looked down at the small black shape that was huddling beneath him, almost completely under his stomach. His ears were slightly flattened against his skull, and his tail hovered between his legs. Whimpers and barks could be heard from Simaea, and a small whine escape from Kieth's maw. His heart felt like it had been broken into a million pieces that no matter how hard you tried, it could never be put back together again.
Breathing softly, Kieth listened intently as the black yearling spoke again, in almost a whisper from underneath him. The sorrow and pain in her voice sent shivers down his spine, and he felt like he could see the image before him. Simaea standing there, weeping as she looked down upon her mother and father. Blood welling from their throats and gurgling sounds emitting from their chests as they struggled to draw air into their lungs. Sadness in their eyes as they stared up at Simaea, knowing that they were going to die and she was seeing it all.
It felt as if his legs couldn't support his body, and he crumpled down to the ground, lying down next to Simaea. He curled his body around hers, and although he tried to whispers words of comfort to her, his throat was too constricted to allow anything but the sound of pain and agony to come out. He lay there, with his head close to Simaea's, his body struck with despair that he had never felt before. He had never known that Simaea had been scarred much more deeply that she let anyone know. And now that he did, he would make sure that nothing ever came to harm her again.
After what seemed like hours, Kieth drew in a deep breath. It felt like his body and mind had been tormented by the deepest pain imaginable, and he could never understand how Simaea had kept it from them all this time without breaking down. Looking into her eyes, he spoke; his voice hoarse and quiet. "I-I never knew that you.... That you were so much more hurt than.... Than you told us. I never imagined that.... That it was this bad." His voice was cut short, and no more words were said. No words could explain what he was feeling now. It was like he had been sucked into a black hole, and all of his feeling was gone. All that was left was a numbness in his heart, body and mind.
you can't hide...
You can run, but you can't hide
Instead she latched on to the sound of Keith's voice as it crept slowly into her head. Slowly, the light died from her eyes, her spell was coming to close and leaving the girl defeated and exhausted. Simaea would be at her weakest, and it scared her. What will they do? Will they think someone so scarred as me will be unfit for healing? Her heartbeat slowed and her eyes dulled to an almost rusty brown. Her head raised a little and stared in the precise direction of Secret Woodlands and Hollow. If he had known. If he had seen it would he be the same? Would he be okay if he had seen their last breath?
It took a few moments for Simaea to realize what else she had done, not only had she just realized her most paralyzing pain. But she had divulged her greatest pain, and in the end in her mind, maybe it was the cause of her fear. That someone may know she hurt all the time, that someone may know she had watched it all unfold. Simaea's breath slowed into a steady flow and she opened her jaws once more, "Hollow never knew, he only saw them after they were gone. He never had to watch them die, I wanted to keep it away from him, he would blame himself more than he already does." Simaea knew Keith was smart, he would realize it had been the cause of such scarring, her holding of this terrible secret. But she also knew that he was wise, and knew enough not to question why, but to merely offer advice and comfort, which was all the she wolf needed.
The dark hued female stopped once more to catch her breath and readied herself. She rose and pointed her muzzle towards the sky, before giving a sigh, as if stepping into a cold pool of water on hot day she felt her body relax. Simaea's eyes opened and nearly glowed in a beautiful shade. Determination and strength shown in her gaze. "It hurts every day yes, Keith. But it gives me determination, to be sure that none have to witness the same loss. I'll protect pups, parents, elders and whoever I can from death. I cannot fight a seen enemy for I am not strong enough. But what I can do." Simaea turned back to the older male and fixed him with a solid stare, a powerful stare. "Is keep them from watching the things I have. They will not have to watch the breath leave their mothers lungs. Nor will they see the light die from fathers eyes. Not until their time has come, I will let no wolf die for simply having no one there to change it."
Though the pain still wrenched at her heart, she had taken a step in the right direction in confessing her pain. Her heart felt lighter though her body and mind were still exhausted, her spirit had shed the ashes of it's past. The things mother and father had bred onto their children before their untimely deaths lived within Simaea even more strongly than they did within Hollow. The dark shaded she wolf lay down next to Keith once more, "Thank you Keith, I'm glad to have a friend like you." Her words genuine, Simaea was beginning a process, a long road filled with episodes that mirrored this. It would be long, but with the support she was quickly finding in the pack she began to feel for the first time she would make it.
The Caverns male heard Simaea speak from above him, and lifted his head to look up at her. He could see the torment and pain in her eyes, which had become a dull, rusty brown. The holding of the devastating secret had torn her apart from the inside, but now that she had relieved herself and told another, she would slowly get better, become stronger, and finally leave all of it behind so it was only a faded memory.
"Hollow never knew, he only saw them after they were gone. He never had to watch them die, I wanted to keep it away from him, he would blame himself more than he already does."
Kieth realized now that the deep scarring had been more than just seeing her parents die, it was holding onto the secret that had done the most damage. A few seconds of silence passed as the Caverns male decided on what to say. He knew not to to question why; Simaea had her own special reasons for what she did. "I understand why you did what you did, and I will not question it."
As he studied the black yearling, he could feel himself become steadier as the pain and heartbreak locked itself up deep within his mind. He listened attentively as she spoke. When she looked down upon him, and he could see the determination and strength in her eyes. A proud feeling spread throughout his body at her words. He knew only a few wolves that would vow to protect others from harm, and hearing it from Simaea lifted his spirits.
When the black yearling lay down beside him, and spoke kind words to him, he let a smile grace his features. Looking into her eyes, The Caverns male spoke softly, almost in a whisper. "I'm also glad to have a friend like you." One that will share secrets with me, and one that I can share secrets with.
you can't hide...
You can run, but you can't hide