When he moved away from her, a movement sudden but not graceless, she felt the drive to move closer to him but avoided doing so. Instead, her amber eyes implored him, questioning gaze searching each of his eyes for an explanation. He'd remained silent while she'd spoken of Mercy and only a moment later, after mentioning her pack, he'd moved away. For the slightest moment she'd thought he'd keep on going and leave without a word, but he stopped and regarded her with a gaze that made her feel scalding hot. She felt as though she'd done something wrong, a pup who crumbled under the gaze of an adult after it'd been caught wandering too far or being too rough with another pup. He made her nervous with such a bold gaze, and she wilted slightly like a flower under too much sunlight.His voice was rough and had the effect of sandpaper being rubbed against skin, both in tone and in the blunt words he used. She felt as though she'd been sliced open, exposed, and now had to explain herself, thereby making herself even more vulnerable by offering some sort of confession- a confession she was very reluctant to make. But the truth was there, and she felt that there was no way to repair their friendship unless it was spoken. It was painfully obvious, in that moment, that she owed him a lot.
She couldn't bring herself to look at him when she decided to speak, so great was her nervousness. She didn't want to see his reaction because she was so fearful it would be negative, and wasn't sure she could handle it. It seemed as though the feelings she harboured were one-sided. She assumed that if he'd had any feelings for her, he would have understood already why she'd told him about her life in a pack, with a son, already. She'd felt obligated to explain that he wasn't her biological son because she'd wanted to make sure he wouldn't be jealous, if he felt anything for her. But she saw no trace of jealousy in his eyes, only confusion. Thus, it became even harder for Sagacity to speak.
"We're forbidden from speaking of the pack to strangers, unless we've come to know and trust them, and deem them worthy of safeguarding our secrecy. We avoid conflict by being ghosts." She said. There, she'd admitted one thing- that she trusted him and thought he was safe and reliable, not the sort to stir up problems. She hoped he might be relieved to know that they avoided conflict by being so secretive- given his past experience in a pack, she believed that if he was to join any pack, this would be the one. But she knew even if she'd been in a different pack, she would have still wanted him there. Now came the difficult part.
"I want you here." She said, words still simple and vague as she struggled to force the real words out. Her ears turned back- she was more frustrated with herself now than anything, and still refused to make eye contact with him. "I like." She said, and the words ground to an abrupt halt. Her teeth were gritted as she forced herself to speak again. "I like having you around." She said, finally, struggling with the emotion which finally began to seep into her voice. She hung her head slightly. "I suck at this." She said quietly, and her features finally softened, as did her voice. "But I want you here. I don't want to see you just every now and again, by chance." A fleeting look was sent his way, revealing the fear she felt, having said more than she'd ever wanted to say. The words were forced simply because she was not an emotional wolf, and struggled now that she felt a flood of feelings trying to rush past her lips.
Avatars by Arla!