Jasper Rocks i will not ask, dear, and neither should you

@Rook
Afternoon, patchy rain nearby, 67F

The pack was growing! It was a glorious thing, the male thought, especially now that his Rook had taken the lead from his ailing father. And that notion gave him pause – whenever did the alpha become his? Oh, he'd promised to give the masked man anything and everything. The frightening part was that he really did mean it, despite knowing the wolf for only six or so weeks. If @Namid were here, or even Oolijee were here, what would they have to say about him? The medic allowed himself a wry smile as he slowed to a halt, glancing down at the small fish swimming about in the pool of water.

Usually, he would use free time to gather herbs and medicines for his private cache. Today, however, Veho felt more inclined to hunt – or to fish, as the case may be. He had never been particularly proficient with this, though he and @Miskwaa had caught a beaver together. While the medicine hadn't admit to it at the time, that was one of the largest kills he'd ever (helped) make.

It took the wolf several hours to get himself a meal, and a couple more hours after that to earn a suitable offering. Once he'd caught a fish larger than a mouthful, the bachelor placed it on the rocks surrounding the pool and put up a call for his favorite companion. While he was sure Rook had plenty to do within the borders of Grizzly Hollow, it seemed appropriate to make sure the man gave himself time to breath. Often that seemed to work best outside the grounds, where he took a pause and allowed himself a moment to relax. "Gaheris! Come, I've something for you~"

Being able to relax and unwind was something that occurred more and more with Rook the longer Veho remained with Grizzly Hollow. Of course he was still highly concerned with his father's well-being - over the past five days, Borden had only remembered his name once and that instance in itself had felt like a fluke since it had come as a question instead of a means to call for Rook's attention - but, with the duties of becoming a Leader, he had other matters to attend to. Today, he distracted himself with a favorite "hobby" of his with tagging along behind Veho while re-establishing the territory borders as he went. He had just planted both of his forepaws back into the ground when his secondary name was called through the trees.

His companion had found something and the Lyall's ears and tail shot up in sudden interest. A brisk walk led him straight to where the aspiring pack medic was at the edge of a small pool. A smile immediately found its way onto his masked face and he closed the distance between them with a stolen touch, a simple brush of his nose to Veho's - Merlin's - ashen shoulder. "And what is it that you've got?" he asked, initially paying the fish no mind. Quite honestly, he expected to be given some sort of surprise smooch in light of their discovered solitude on this side of the territory.

The plumed tail in the air behind him lilted from side to side, his head tilted in such a way that could have made him either charming or absolutely hammy. He relished in the woody musk that emphasized his companion's own signature scent, something he had the cool summer rains to thank for. "Is it a surprise?"

ooc: on a side note...the table was inspired by this when it popped up on my tumblr dashboard. I... just. yeah...

Chances are I have a BEN WHISHAW gif for that.

His prize went forgotten for the briefest of moments, butterflies exploding from his stomach and forcing their way into his chest as Rook appeared. Well, perhaps they were bigger than butterflies. Birds, maybe. They must be hawks, pounding away with their massive wings as they bumped into his heart, pressing against his ribs, and fluttered against his lungs. No wonder it was so hard to breath, faced with such a beautiful soul. Once he remembered how to inhale, the medicine man dipped his head, nose pressed into the alpha's cheek before licking under the male's chin, affection obvious if not in his attentions, than by the way the masked male held Veho's pale gaze.

The second question finally shook the subordinate free from his own thoughts, cheeks heating up beneath his fair cheeks. "Ah! Ah, no, no surprise, I'm afraid," he admitted, suddenly feeling a bit sheepish for his pride. It was a simple perch, after all – Rook likely had hundreds of these in his life! He'd probably caught half, too, but now he was here, and it would be wrong to waste the animal's life like that. After a momentary pause, he leaned down, nudging the silvery body towards his companion. "I caught this for you, my dear. Wanted to make sure you were eating, and the like."

Of course, Merlin's intentions were not entirely pure. Now that he was fairly well acclimated to Grizzly Hollow's domain and no longer the newest member of the pack, he received a fair bit less of the alpha's time. It was understandable, of course! He had a great many duties to attend to, with Piety, Chemical, and Rowan all joining their ranks in a matter of days. If that weren't enough, Borden's mind was clearly failing, and the lady of the lands had seemingly vanished. This would be stressful for any wolf, he thought, but how many others knew the way Rook tortured himself over the decision? Someone had to make sure such a beautiful soul was not destroyed in the overwhelming chaos, and Veho was more than happy to shoulder that role.

For him, it was not a burden. He was a wolf meant to serve. Never would he have aspirations of leadership or becoming an alpha. He would never found his own pack – of course, Merlin would be happy to help another achieve to their dreams and lay down the groundwork to a group and territory he would support. Had he known Rook prior, it was no question that he would have assisted the youngest son in his quest to reform his family home and raise the Lyall's kingdom from the rubble of where it once lay. It was a journey born of loyalty and love – perhaps it was more self-serving than that.

Veho would never be a wolf who operated under his own wants and needs. Even now, seeking out the alpha's attention (and affection, if he were being honest with himself) seemed terribly greedy when there were so many other members of the pack who might benefit from the leader's time. Regardless how much more he desired from his close companion, he would not, could not bring himself to ask for anything more than was already given. At least now, he could assuage some of his guilt by watching out for the newly crowned king. It seemed no one else was up to the task, especially with his missing sister, Bishop. Her name was dropped, here and there, but the aspiring medic had a hunch that did not accurately reflect how sorely his friend missed his twin. After all, he rarely spoke of his own sister, these days, but it was very rare for him to end a day without thinking of Neha at least once. They weren't twins, and his sibling had a much shorter time on the mortal earth. Albeit, Bishop wasn't dead, but wasn't it loss all the same, when one so close suddenly went missing from one's life? It was still a violent change, the landscape of the heart altered after a sudden storm, and no amount of reasoning could ever make it hurt less. Only time could heal these wounds. Time, and perhaps the open heart of another.

Drawn from the depths of his thoughts once more, Veho offered his friend a slow smile, leaning forward shyly to nuzzle him again. How things had changed! Not so long ago, he simply wished to honor his Ancestors and do their good work while on this mortal earth. Now, here he was, eagerly awaiting the arrival of Rook as if he were the sun, all life revolving around his mismatched eyes and bright smiles. Pious individual as he was, he found himself considering conversion to heliolatry every time the man came around. If he were honest with himself, he might admit he was absolutely smitten with Rook and all he'd done. Even now, he feared to say it out loud, but it may have been evident in those moonlit eyes if the lord cared to study his subordinate's reverent gaze even for a moment.

But, ah, there his mind went, getting away from him again! A hazard of being such a thoughtful sort, but Veho hadn't called the busy wolf here only to feed him a fish (though he though such an event was perfectly justified, all the same). "I, ah, well, I also wished to ask you something, while I stole a moment of your time," he finally clarified, tail wagging slowly behind him as he studied his friend. There had been something on his mind – something he wished to discuss before he acted upon it. The healer had never been an impulsive individual. Even joining Grizzly Hollow had taken a great deal of meditation and consultation with his Ancestors before he threw in his lot. (All this was aided by one of his favorite hallucinogens, but that was neither here nor there, nor was it a resource he had access to at this very moment.) "I was wondering, Gaheris, if you would find it offensive should I challenge Titan for his rank. I am, well, there are several males between ourselves, and I would offer myself to assist in your efforts in any way I can. It would…seem more appropriate, I think, if I held some backing behind my word." He paused for a moment, skin going scarlet beneath his pelt. "I realize that was very bold - I defer to your judgment on this."

First of all, a novel, by Veho. . __ .;; He has a lot of strong feelings. Almost went a little Romeo/Juliet there. These two always give me so much muse.
Note to self: 1086 words.

The realization that Veho didn't have a surprise did not let Rook down in the slightest. The fact that what the medic had caught for him was a fish was the more impressive and breath-taking part. It had been quite a while since anyone had done anything thoughtful or altruistic for him. He seemed to have been at a loss for words but his gratitude was quick to find him, "Oh, thank you. Wow." His eyes took in the creature's shiny skin, yellow bellow, and stripe-like pattern. "I've never had this type of fish before. Thoughtful of you."

He craned his neck down and gingerly set his teeth to one of the spiny fins to ensure that the creature had taken its last breath; he did not want to attempt to taste it only to have it and Veho's hard work go to waste with a simple splash. Rook opted to wait, he didn't want to have to eat it alone. He lifted his head to see his nuzzle returned. His eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds and when he opened them again, he met the medicine man's gaze. When told that Veho had asked to have a bit of Rook's time. "Sure, of course... whatever you need." The Leader's smile turned upward on one side. A part of him was sure that he would always have a moment whenever he needed him.

The use of his alias suggested to Rook that the matter at hand could involve something outside of Grizzly Hollow territory. In the end, it didn't. All Merlin had wanted was to surpass Titan in rank so that he would become the fourth subordinate beneath him, Borden, and Ryvet. The Macieo's embarrassment or timidity was nearly overlooked, but to that pause in his proposal, the Leader reached out to graze his nose along Veho's cheek as to embolden him in pursuing what he wanted. Secretly, he, too, had hoped for something such as this. Ryvet might have been his older brother and they were somewhat close for a short span of time, but he did not understand him as Veho did. If anyone ought to hold a well-rooted place beneath him in rank it was him. He could only hope that perhaps he would attempt to climb up in rank even further, getting to know Ryvet and where his lines were drawn and making his task of keeping Borden in line a little easier.

"No, not bold at all," he assured him. "Challenge @Titan. See what comes from it." There was no doubt he would find out for himself what had transpired soon after. "It's... normal to want to find your place." He let that little tidbit sink in for a moment, averting his gaze to take in the pool of water. The ringing that had started in his ear told him reminded him of something he had wanted to say now that they were alone; the guilt and shame rearing its ugly head at him from the back of his mind.

"Veho?" he started, the tone in his voice soft yet hoping to capture his comrade's attention. With the way they had been carrying on (in secret), he figured it was about time that he came clean. If he was to open this 'can of worms' with Veho, then he could at least be assured that it wouldn't be guilt that ate him alive from within. "I have something to tell you, too. I-It's nothing bad, I just... I need to know what this is between us." There was a twinge of distress that wove its way into his words, something that only the medic had heard and witnessed.

Chances are I have a BEN WHISHAW gif for that.

Rook's encouragement came as an enormous weight of his shoulders, the older wolf exhaling heavily as he bobbed his head. The last time he'd been in a pack, it was as a pup, and then as a yearling. His only role was that of an apprentice to a medic, staying with his parents to help them raise another litter once the pack was disbanded. Rank had never been a thought in his mind, to be quite honest, especially while traveling as a loner. The idea still made him a bit nervous now – he didn't wish to make an enemy out of Titan, only to bring himself closer to the alpha. As much as he wished a rational wolf to understand such things, he knew all too well how emotions could muddle up even the most base logic.

He was about to settle back down when the alpha called for his attention once more. Shuffling closer, Veho was eager to give it, slipping his muzzle beneath Rook's in a tender display before the actual query was put forth. The silver-dusted wolf froze, his heart beat beginning to festinate as his mind went into overdrive. He'd very carefully not put a label to whatever they had blossoming between them for fear he'd crush it with a word to heavy. It was good, whatever it was, no matter the confusion surrounding the circumstances in the pack (and some evidence he was really trying to ignore). Swallowing, he considered his words carefully.

"I-- I haven't thought of the right word to put to it, I suppose. I think about you all the time." From the moment he woke up until his last conscious thoughts in the night, all he could think of was @Rook – the man's beauty, his courage, and his compassion. It was so inspiring, he thought, and it called to Veho like a siren's song. (How little he knew that there were rocks just below the surface of seemingly calm water.) "I care for you, very deeply. I-- I have very little to offer, as I am but, or was a traveling medic from a small family, with no pack back home. I am no alpha. I have no legacy."

Merlin paused then, perhaps inspired by the moment, and he let his tongue continue to listen to his heart, instead of his mind. He'd never been the most logical among his siblings, always more prone to allow his emotion to dictate his responses than his mind. (After all, hadn't he all but smothered Namid through his guilt for Neha, driving her away in the end?)

Clearing his throat, he forged onwards into unknown territory. "But I would give you my loyalty to your service. I would give you my life, if it was required. And I would give you my heart, if you'd have it."

I'd give you my heart, had you not stolen it already.

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide mention. :c Not gonna lie, Rook and I speak the truth.

The answer that came to grace his ears was one that made his nose burn and hot flashes rush from his temples, over his skull and down his shoulders and spine. Veho thought about him all the time. So, in whatever this was, the feelings were mutual. Reciprocated. Requited. He cared for him deeply and vice versa; Rook had picked the ideal partner. The wandering medicine man had left his family, traveled, was affiliated with no one (not even his birth pack), claimed he was no Leader, and had no legacy. Oh, but you've one here, Rook had wanted to whisper. I will make it so. But he kept quiet, taking in every rise and fall of the medic's voice, listening to the places where Veho took a breath and sealed his lips to form words.

When the silence had washed over them, the Lyall's muscles tensed, keeping the side of his face in contact with Veho's shoulder, nestled there as if he required the warmth. After some time he withdrew from him and Veho cleared his throat, edging forward. Rook remained in place, moved in other ways as he found out for himself just how deep Veho's loyalty went...

Veho Macieo - Merlin - would have given his life for Rook's if it was required.

Again, the fish had been cast aside for more important matters at hand. Rook would remember to thank him for it, that much was certain, but first, "Veho, I... I have a confession to make." His mouth twitched and, all too soon, it felt as though his heart were bleeding from within. "I love you, without question. I wish... I wish I had told you sooner but the boy... @Tomen... He's my son." His bear-like ears drew back, uncertain how the medic would take it in. It was apparent that Tomen had been here since before Veho's arrival, but it was merely a piece - maybe only a sliver - that told the story of Rook's unhappiness in his 'union' to Quil.

"Q-Quil," distress started to make its way onto his face, the obvious result of having a character flaw that denied him the pleasures or benefits of lying. God, why, all of a sudden was it hard to say her name? "Quil is my... mate." He stalled, much too afraid to take up Veho's flank or take a step back to retreat. Everything felt magnetic and there were weights in his feet. He couldn't risk moving to chase his lover away or accidentally lead him to believe that Veho was anything like a conquest. According to Rook, this was nothing like an affair. He loved Quil and he loved Veho - and that was that. They didn't even compare to one another in his mind; he loved them both in their own ways.

He made an attempt to recover himself, his mismatched eyes glued to the medic's profile, "Please keep me. I don't care anymore if there is no Heaven for me in the end for this, what we have... I don't care. I want you. I wish... I wish you knew just how alive you've made me feel since you met me at the river. Had you not come then and there, I would have drowned at the bottom of it by nightfall."

(This post was last modified: Aug 22, 2015, 02:13 AM by Rook.)

Chances are I have a BEN WHISHAW gif for that.

There is a moose carcass that has been scavenged by coyotes nearby. +15 Health

There. He'd said his piece, and there was no way to take back the words once they've been set free (even if he truly did not want to). The truth was freeing, even if the affection was unrequited – and oh, how Veho wished he was not misreading the situation. Always, the alpha found some time for him, returned embraces, and inspired kisses. If it wasn't passion, he knew not the word to assign to what was budding between the pair of wolves. As soon as the warmth had flooded his chest, it was replaced by shards of ice, prickling against his heart as the organ began to flutter.

A confession?

He needn't ask, for Rook pressed onwards. I love you, but. But. But the alpha was indeed the puppy's father, and the lad's mother had replaced the lady alpha and stood as the knight's mate. Whatever the relationship they had, it was not his to judge, and something wicked began to knot in the pit of the medic's stomach. Here he came to Grizzly Hollow to help, and instead he was burrowing himself in the middle of a bond between a mated pair. Ancestors above! Whatever would his sister think of him? His brother? His parents?

Everything he stood for, everything he believed in – and here he was, fawning over a man who'd already pledged himself. It was no secret, not really – even if @Rook hadn't spelled out his relationship to Tomen, it was the silver wolf's decision to remain blissfully ignorant. Never did he consider laying the blame upon the alpha's paws. Veho, in his mind, at least, had opted to pursue the king in light of the evidence it may be unwise. A breath shuddered through him as he swallowed his heart down from his throat. He needed to speak. Rook needed him to speak.

When he entered this…whatever it was, he had forfeit his rights to selfishness, the medic decided then, and leaned in to embrace the masked man the best he could. "Do not doubt that I will keep you," he whispered, voice rough as his tongue flashed out. Oh, how deeply he dove into sin, pressing kisses and assurance to Rook's muzzle despite everything.

He needs me, the Maceio told himself, and forged forward.

"Never doubt that. As your medic, your advisor, your friend, your…" And he trailed off there, words finally failing him as his brows knit together. What were they, then? Not mates, never mates – but what were two wolves who shared a bond so deep it was etched into their very souls? Veho forced himself to continue, ignoring the tremble in his limbs, his tail, his ears. "I am yours, Rook. Gaheris. I will never, I will never let that happen to you. I promise, on my life."

I will not let you down.

"Where-- Where do we go from here?"

What Veho had said in return, in light of all that had been said, Rook let out a soft whine to relay his gratitude. Again, his eyelids fluttered shut over his eyes as the medic lavished kisses and caresses over his face. The words from before were repeated, that vow and promise that Veho would always be there. This insecurity and feeling of not being enough was slowly succeeding in taking its toll on the young Leader that much was apparent. Perhaps it was stress - something every dominant, pack-leading wolf knew well - or maybe it was his character, but for all Rook knew, the darkest parts of this particular storm had passed. All that was left once he had acknowledged such a fact was that he needed to have faith, not just in the notion that he would have his family, Veho, and the rest of the pack as a means of support, but that he was capable of weathering so much more... that this streak of sadness would come and go and, no matter what, he was capable of standing on his own feet.

For a while he trembled, as if nervous, repeating in his head that he deserved such affection and care. Perhaps he would never get better - which was something that absolutely terrified him at this point - but at least he knew now where he and Veho stood. That dark-tipped tail of his finally lifted in a tentative wag. He was safe. They were safe. Rook had merely expected the worse and none of it had come into existence. In fact, everything that ensued was the exact opposite.

"Where-- do we go from here?" the gray brute asked. The Lyall was drawn out of his head and back into the moment; his eyes slowly opened. "Upwards and onwards?" he meekly proffered. It was a saying he had learned somewhere but couldn't place where. It fit though - up as in Rook's removal from the deepest darkest hell that was his melancholy and depression and onwards as in the continuation of the twosome's private relationship. "Is that all right?"

Chances are I have a BEN WHISHAW gif for that.

It was with a deep sigh that Veho leaned against the alpha, a huge weight lifted off his shoulders when the younger wolf did not suggest they separate. Perhaps it was fear of abandonment, nursed by guilt and grief over situations long past for which he had no control, but for a moment the medic dreaded that @Rook might suggest they not see each other anymore outside of a professional capacity. Even with this, the man could tolerate, working as a healer still – but what if he was cast out for his defilement of such sacred bonds? With every moment, his mind whispered traitorously, demons of guilt beginning to creep out from behind each rib to gnaw on his tender insides.

But no.

Onwards and upwards, that was Rook had said. No 'I never want to see you again', no 'your services will no longer be needed', not even a 'it's not you, it's me'. It was only onwards and upwards, together, and the king's second question almost went unnoticed, so swallowed up was the wolf by his own thoughts. Giving himself a soft shake, he leaned back into the younger male as the dust rose from his silvery pelt. "Yes. Yes, this is okay. Of course this is okay," he assured his friend, bobbing his head once. Who could ask for more?

How dare he wish for anything more than was freely given to him?

Reaching out, he pushed his muzzle into Rook's side once more, burying himself in the familiar scent for one last moment of peace before the inevitable storm to follow. That was the quiddity of this sort of relationship, wasn't it? Quil would inevitably be upset – he had no idea what to expect from Tomen. But that could wait – that could wait until the tranquility of their moment was over, at the very least.

"You know, my dear, you never did answer that question…or offer, I suppose it was an offer. My loyalty, my skills, you recruited me for these things – but my heart, hm? Where am I to place it?"

I ask, as if I have any control.

First of all, definitely read 'the gay brute asked' instead of 'gray brute', goodness. Also, Veho can't leave well enough alone. Loves this Rook.