Oak Tree Bend Time

For @Triell. Sorry this took so long. <3

It had been a bit since Triell had returned and Jessie couldn’t help but feel relief in her heart that he hadn’t abandoned them. While she had been quite upset that Triell had left them, Jessie hadn’t been devastated. The loss of her husband had been much more prominent to the gray woman. She was, however, disappointed in Triell. While the widowed Tainn could understand why their former alpha needed to go away to find Nayeli, Jessie found it insulting that he would leave his children and family when they needed him. Perhaps it struck Jessie a bit harder because while Triell went in such of his mate, who was, most likely, still alive, the Scout remained bitter by the fact that Hotei was still lost until Jessie drew her final breath. The pepper-and-salt colored woman wouldn’t be able to find the other part of her soul until she died and part of her wanted to hate Triell for being able to find his love more than once and have her return to him once more.

She had wallowed in her own bitterness for a few days when she finally decided it was time to confront to man. After all, he was family, a brother to her. She tried to mull over what she could say to him, to express her feelings towards him but knew that she wouldn’t be able to do such a thing. Social skills were never something she exceeded at and she knew that what she said when he, hopefully, answered her call, would depend on both of their mental states. So without much hesitation, Jessie tilted her head back and let out a low, long call to the man she considered a friend for so long.

<3

To say he was worried about Jessie since Hotei's passing was an understatement. Knowing well all their losses new and old, Triell did not want her to cut herself off from the rest of them. She already kept her distance as it was. For Nayeli's departure stung her as it had him. The Tainn greatly feared they may lose her too. Why he had felt dying of a broken heart would have been convient in times, he knew no one did. Instead you were forced in day in and day out to live, remembering what you lost. With Drestig's help he tried to feel confident, that with all else this would leave its scar. He gave her her space, and time. 

Once him and Naira had returned from his last search he did not seek her out. Why he had seen her, he wasn't sure if she wanted to talk to him. He sensed she wasn't exactly thrilled with his choice to go in the first place. So he assumed she must have been a bit angry he had temporarily left them on foolish hope. She couldn't think anything was more important than his family. All the more, he didn't feel ready for whatever it was. At least she knew what had happened to her love. 

But when happened for her voice to beckon him, he made haste. She was another sister, not of blood but bond. Something much greater, and he would have done anything for her. Raised his own voice in a returning call, letting her know he was not far. In fact he was merely finishing burying his catch of the day, near the outskirts of the den.

are you with me through it all?

She remained where she was, allowing Triell to come to her. His answering call forced her ears to swivel toward. Jessie made no move to meet him. She felt like if she started with momentum, she would not be able to control her angry and that never ended well for anyone. Her paws shifted uneasily under her as she waited for the dark Tainn to enter the scene. When she saw him appear, her chin lifted slightly and she directed her emerald glare directly upon him. Jessie was never one to beat around the bush, so she just plowed through it, perhaps getting caught on a thorn during the process, because he words were much harsher than she intended them to be, ”You made me very angry when you left the pack again… You didn’t even bother to tell me.” She probably wouldn’t have been as angry as she was with him if he had bothered telling her about his “mission,” if it could even be called that. He had informed Spieden, who Jessie still had high distaste for, and a few others. It stung her even more not to know when he would be returning. Thankfully, it appeared as if though Triell had seen through his stupid act of selflessness and had returned to them. Drestig had been a worthy replacement in his place and Jessie would be damned if she didn’t acknowledge the good work the Avalon man had done in Triell absence. Perhaps wanting to brag a bit on her pupil, and deliver a low hit to the man in front of her, Jessie spoke again before she remained silent, ”Drestig did a wonderful job while you were gone. I didn’t know he would make such a good leader.” Jessie Tainn

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Angry, yes, she definitely was so. Teeth clicked together as he paused, only a bit out of her reach. Luckily, she immediately relayed what was on her mind so he wouldn't have to guess why she was so upset. Strangely it was the word again that hurt the most. Bringing up the past, and the presence into one unified force of pain. All the times he had failed, the ones they had lost. "I'm sorry I should have told you, but I knew you would probably talk me out of it. I had to go, just this time to make peace with things. So I could really be here." He wasn't trying to make excuses, only hoping to explain his reasons. He should have known it would have had heavy repercussions, but he hadn't expected her to feel betrayed.

It was apparent she was making a dig at him about Drestig. Why it was deserved, he already felt like a boy in her cold gaze. He felt the heat of annoyance, anger rise in his chest she would throw that at him. Drestig was worthy, and Triell had not had his doubts about it. They way she spoke, brought his still facade into a harsh scowl. "Good. I trust Drestig with my life, my family, and heaven forbid if something happened to me I would like to know this family will remain," he replied sharply, his banner hovering over the ground. If she felt the need to hurt him for it all so be it, but he wasn't about to take her scolding quietly.

"Besides, why does it bother you I would just tell Spieden any way?" Why he felt she wasn't Jessie's favorite, he clearly didn't understand why. She had liked Nayeli, though he wasn't sure if that was the case any more.

(This post was last modified: Nov 25, 2015, 09:03 PM by Triell.)

are you with me through it all?

His apology did not go unheard by Jessie and the scout nodded briskly at his words. He was right, she would have stopped him. After all, the Tainns had killed the bastards that had stolen Nayeli from them and killed Silver in the process. This time, when she was safe, right after her children were born, she again disappeared. There would be no acceptable excuses this time. The pepper-and-salt colored woman had no doubts that their former alpha had left on her own accord this time. In response to his next words, Jessie had to resist the urge to scoff at him. A family? If it could even be called that anymore. The Scout took notice to the dark man’s banner and matched him, her eyes narrowing at him. As it was, she didn’t have enough energy to stay mad at him for long, her body was still recovering from her fasting and the raise in her blood pressure only acted to exhaust her quickly. She sighed softly, resigned, aggravation rising within her once again. This time, it wasn’t towards Triell but towards Spieden. If it weren’t for Drestig, Jessie was sure that Oak Tree Bend would have been in shambles after Triell left. She was never one to lie but her bluntness towards how much she detested her alpha almost surprised her, ”I don’t like her. She shouldn’t even be alpha,” she paused then, her lips thin as she said this. Jessie made sure to keep her voice low, almost wishing she would have just remained silent. She swallowed before continuing, ”She isn’t good at communicating with others unless it’s some kind of hunt for something. At the meeting just after you left, both of them just ignored Serach’s request to go on a scouting trip. Drestig, I can understand because everyone was crowding him, but Spieden…?” Jessie shook her head then, her emerald eyes looking towards the ground to mask the sadness in her gaze as she spoke her next words, ”The family you speak of, brother? It doesn’t exist anymore…” It would take time for everyone to heal from all their losses and until others could do that, there was no chance of a family being rebuilt. Jessie Tainn

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There are several fresh rabbit tracks in the mud. Hunt Opportunity

@Jessie sorry Lightning <3

He could tell he was pushing her limits, he would not ease off. If this was something else whittling away at her, she needed to get it out. It wasn't like he couldn't take it. Besides Drestig he didn't see her sharing this sort of thing with anyone else, sadly.


Eyes sharply blinked, seeing that she might just about be at the point to let things go.  Or at least she wanted to. It was apparent she could not. Her confession, brought a questioning look. He kept hold of his tongue, despite the words that sputtered from her lips. He hadn't believed Spieden would remain in her position when he had given it to her. She was not the same woman who had joined the Bend. She had become a leader rather the silver scout thought so or not. Seeing she was about to go on, he bit the inside of his lip. She scolded both of his replacements, though Drestig was forgiven under the circumstances. "That is troubling, Jessie. Did you speak up for him in turn?" It left him a bit sad to think no one had really heard his nephew, he wasn't sure what to say except what he had asked. Everyone made mistakes. He tucked it away, knowing he would look into the matter further. He needed, wanted to speak to the young man himself. "What would you have me do? Drestig is avoiding talking with me about my own place. Other than you I don't see anyone taking her place Jess." It was the truth. In her own emotional state, he didn't see her wanting the part. They had all been waiting for his mate to have it. Look where they had gotten them.

"No, it was not what it was. We have lost many, I sometimes feel that list is longer than those alive. The rest of this pack is family to me as well. Even if you had never loved my brother, I would not look at you any differently." He frowned, giving a frail sigh, while he may not see her pain, he was aware of it. He cautiously reached with his muzzle, attempting to stroke the side of her scruff. "It feels like ages since we were at the river."
 

are you with me through it all?

Her eyes were stoked with their familiar flame of anger as she spoke but after it was over, she felt herself slowly deflate, the energy from her tirade slowly leaving her. She remained quiet, listening to what Triell would have to say. She would not hold it against him if he was angry. The grey scout had just insulted his entire empire. His inquiry about Serach did not go unanswered, ”I had left the meeting early but when Serach’s scent remained, I went to seek him out to see why he had not gone and that was when I found out. So…I just need to find Drestig.” She paused before adding on bitterly, ”We have a habit of avoiding one another at the most convenient of times.” Her tail lashed in agitation above her back at this before listening to what else was said. To his response on Spieden, she looked down. It should have been her to rise above and be the leader but a scouting mission had gotten in the way of it and it probably would have if it would have been any other time. And perhaps Jessie would have taken the initiative of leading, but not this hellhole. Not where there were so many bad memories built up, so many losses(even more than those of Swift River), and so many things that have gone wrong by chance since they moved over here. Hotei’s death was maybe a sign to her that she should have stayed on the other side of the mountain with him and listened to him when he proposed the idea instead of keeping her idea of true loyalty when it was obvious that no one else held the same standards to the idea that she did. The pepper-and-salt colored lady let him continue while she waited in silence, her emerald eyes finally moving up to look at him again. Jessie was slightly startled by his approach but remained steady. She stepped forward slightly to relieve any stress on his neck and buried her muzzle into the thick fur along his scruff to breath in the musky scent of Tainn. While it was similar to Hotei’s it was still distinguished and definitely Triell. With a sigh, she lifted her muzzle slightly, her eyes reflected the sadness that her soul felt every day. She pressed it close to his ear and his voice came out in a whisper, ”I know…I miss it.” A pause. And then, ”And I hate it here…so much.” And her voice broke at the end. Jessie Tainn

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He was glad to know she had found the lad, and discussed it with him. Informing Triell of his nephew's wants. He felt he did little for him these days. More so, the Tainn found no worry if Serach went. Kisla was the closest family he had now and if he sought her company for a short time or longer it was Serach's choice. It seemed her tongue became sharp again at the mention of Drestig. "Why is that Jess?" He murmured, not wanting to assume a reason behind it. He felt they had a hot and cold relationship, but for her to speak of him like this? Was there something more that was under her skin?

He was left uncertain what her silence meant. If she was more thinking of what ifs or afraid to remark on that subject. He found it was probably he end of that topic for the time being. He did hope in time she may see Spieden through a different light. He wouldn't hold his breath. At least they were civil and he didn't feel to ask for much more.

To his relief she did not flinch, but took his action as it was meant, an act of comfort. He wished he could do more for the brave lady. Grief and misery seemed to be her most frequent company, and he feared the consequences. With so much sadness without reason what was there to hold onto? Craning his neck, he saw the loss in her emerald gaze. Somehow her sediment surprised him, and yet it didn't. He missed Swift River, and had often thought of going back. He was growing less fond of this side of the mountain. He also had a wish for Darrah,Drift, and Sahalie to see it. Where he had grown up. It was her quiet confession that caused his face to crumple. He had no idea she felt that way. He certainly felt it wasn't her favorite place, but hate? "How long have you felt like this?" He stammered, wanting to know despite what she might say. More so he had to say, "I..I think about going back some days."

are you with me through it all?

Her friendship with Drestig confused her greatly. It was hard for the two of them to communicate and yet it seemed that they understood one another on a level that Jessie knew no one else would understand. With a sigh, she responded,  ”I don’t know, it has just been hard for me to speak with him since Hotei’s death…I’m embarrassed.” She didn’t want them to approach the subject any more, and she was perhaps saved, if not condemned, by an even more alarming topic. Triell’s words brought back memories of her challenge to Corinna. She had respected the woman greatly after that and had done anything in her power to make sure that the woman knew that. She pulled away slightly to look up a Triell, shrugging her shoulder’s slightly at his inquiry. She pursed her lips, deciding to be as honest as she could. With a sigh, she spoke, ”I never liked it over here…When Ice, Fenru, and I found Rissa’s body…it was just so….disgusting and horrifying. It already created a shadow over this side of the mountain for me. I didn’t have any hope over here until Hotei came…and I was some kind of happiness, but now…he’s gone again but not for a sort amount of time this time.” Her heart sank low in her chest at this admittance. She spoke to him again, ”Before we moved…Hotei asked me to stay with him on the other side of the mountain…but I refused because the pack was my family, Triell. I feel no semblance of that anymore and I hate that more than anything.” She hoped that he understood. It was partially her fault for not reaching out to any of the new members but they hadn’t reached out to her either. There was nothing left for her in Oak Tree Bend except for a grave that marked the end of the existence of the other part of her soul. Jessie Tainn

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