Sex: FemaleAideen Athesila It might seem cruel, throwing Duck to the pups to save herself and have a moments free time for girl talk, but in Aideen's mind it was not entirely selfish. True, she needed the respite, the chance to converse at a level beyond puppy babble, but Duckweed too needed the push. The boy's confidence was slowly building, his steady role within the Woodlands, and comfort in it, obviously having a positive effect. But to continue that growth, he needed to be challenged, take on more and more responsibility, even if it had to be dumped on him. Bella was clearly in agreement, and she only paused briefly to give her son a quick goodbye, before following her friend. As promised, Aideen did not take them far, eager to hear what it was that so clearly had rattled her friend. A small clearing where the leader felt confident they would be undisturbed, became the setting of their gossip, surrounded by the thicket and its promise to keep any secrets they chose to share. The smaller shewolf spun around, sitting comfortably across from her dark counterpart, a warm, and slightly crooked smile on her face. "Alright, spill it!" She almost squealed, ears perked and eyes focused only on Bella; "What's this something that's got you all abuzz?" Though she hadn't known the younger woman for very long, Aideen had grown quite accustomed to the friendly yet professional demeanor. She'd certainly never seen her like this before! Word count: 244 Thoughts ”Speech” |
The air seemed to get thinner as she danced after Aideen - it was that or the chocolate woman was just getting a little light-headed. She knew all the ways this was irresponsible and childish, and yet she didn't care. She was happy that the delicate Athesila beside her was leader now and not Nina, whose judgement she found rather fearsome. Secret Woodlands had strict laws and regulations, of which Bella was perfectly clear, and it's not as though she had broken them - but that's one of the roads this could lead to.
But that was getting massively ahead of herself. There was a perfectly good chance that she'd never see the man again... or that, perhaps, he had been nothing but a beautiful figment of her imagination. She had been in a pretty bad place that night. It was entirely possible that her subconscious had just been looking out for her.
Before she knew it, Aideen had chosen a spot and sat down, bright eyes staring back at Bella whose sheepish, gleeful grin only grew wider in the face of how silly this all was. Bella tried to sit, but was too restless and promptly stood up, changed position, and tried to seat herself again, which was a half-success, though her forepaws fidgeted against the earth. "Okay, okay," she laughed, so thankful for Aideen's own playful manner, "so, please pretend I'm half my age, it makes this far less embarrassing." Her voice quietened, and she leant towards her friend conspiratorially, barely able to contain herself. "I met... this wolf. In a glen to the north, surrounded by crab apples, and - he was like nobody I've ever met before. I can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me crazy."
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Aideen Athesila The atmosphere was thick, filled with the nerves that radiated off the dark woman. Aideen could feel it, almost like a physical weight against her, and it was enough to make her giddy and lightheaded as well. The fox-like she wolf had grown up surrounded by brothers, with a mother who was even more reserved about her emotions than her father, she had little to no experience with girl talk, and was easily infected by the younger female's jittery nerves. Bella was fidgety, even unable to sit still, and as the smaller lass watched her, she felt a mixture of worry and amusement coil in her stomach; What on earth has gotten to her? It was such a change from the usual, calm and collected exterior, if there hadn't been a wide smile on her face, Aideen would have thought someone had hurt her friend. Laughter bubbled from Belladonna, and she spoke in a rushed manner that was very reminiscent of Aideen's own from her younger years, a habit she still slipped into now and then, when excitement gripped her. She couldn't help but giggle at the similarity, leaning forwards in mirror of her friend as the shout suddenly turned to a whisper. The leader could have never guessed the secret her subordinate had itched so much to share, in fact it was so unexpected that it left her speechless for several moments, eyes wide and brows arched high. She might be unversed in the world of gossip and intrigue, but she had no trouble deciphering Bella's words into their core meeting; A guy! Aideen snickered, a sound that slowly build into bright laughter, warm coppers twinkling at her friend; "Oh is that so?" She was grinning from ear to ear, tail beating rapidly against the ground; "Aren't you lucky?!" It didn't even occur to her to think the other childish, she remembered her own thrill and fluster from falling in love with Miccah; And even earlier… She couldn't deny that the story shared some similarities with her first, wild love. But no, this was different, this was Bella. With light irritation, Aideen pushed all thoughts of Coal from her mind, he had hurt her so bad, for a long time she'd sworn never to forgive him, felt torn apart inside at his abandonment. Now the memories simply filled her with a dull ache, a melancholia she wouldn't slip into if she could help it; Certainly not now! She wouldn't spoil the other woman's excitement, hell, she wanted part in it. "Come on now, tell me everything! Who was he? What was he like?!" The petite shewolf jumped halfway to her own feet, happy to ride the wave of giddiness and leave her sad memories behind; "Why so secretive?" Stories like this were meant to be shared! Word count: 467 Thoughts ”Speech” |
"I've been half-believing it was a dream!" she laughed, by means of excusing her keeping it to herself, then closed her eyes and shook her head with a playful regret. "But that's the problem, see - I hardly know anything about him to tell you. He was bigger than me, and covered in soft browns, but the light was poor so I can't be certain - he did have bright, clever eyes, though, I spent far too much time trying to guess what was going on behind them. It was so surreal, like we met as old friends and hardly needed to introduce ourselves - so we never did. I felt like - like I was - like I was almost someone other than myself. Another version of myself. A more carefree one, like, like nothing else mattered and - and I think it was the same for him. I hope it was! I made a fool of myself otherwise!"
And had loved every single moment of it, naturally.
Aideen Athesila There was an almost invisible change in the chocolate woman at Aideen's questions, her smile growing, impossibly, even wider. She laughed an apology, the older woman chuckling along, enjoying her role as confidante immensely. It always warmed her to see others happy and she was quickly developing a bond with Bella, who was so alike her in many ways. That there was somehow something inappropriate about the experience, or her obsession with it, didn't even cross the queen's mind, she knew the whims of the heart oh so very well. Bella's eyes were closed as she began her tale, slowly at first though her voice soon sped up, one word tumbling over the next at the end. Aideen's eyes shone wit amusement, a wide grin on her face as she felt the oddest sense of looking back at herself one year earlier; Or two perhaps… It was hard to contain her laughter, though she tried to concentrate on the story. Her ears did twitch at the revelation that there hadn't been an exchange of names, not judgmentally, but more concerned; That'll make him hard to find again..! Assuming of course that she wanted to. Very fittingly, Belladonna's ending comment was what finally set off the smaller lass' laughter, a bubble of soft, sympathetic amusement. She shook her head lightly, turning her eyes down while she composed herself, slightly. "We all need to make fools of ourselves once in a while, don't we?" She winked up at her friend, a touch more seriousness in her tone as she continued: "But that does sound very dreamy." Rusty brows furrowed slightly in thought, her head tilting slightly. Then one eye widened, giving the mottled woman a pointed look; "And now you can't get him out of your head?" Word count: 295 Thoughts ”Speech” |
Dreamy, her friend said, and Bella could not think of a better word for it. Wistful and magical and surreal all in one, in a way that made her wish she could just close her eyes and return to it. It would've been a lie to say that she had not returned to that glen in the crab apple trees, just in case, just in case - but it was nothing more than empty and lifeless without him there. It wasn't the same place, not really.
"I can't," she lamented, and fell to her side with a dramatic flair most reminiscent of her time with him, all the theatrics coming to the fore now that she was able to talk about it openly. But the last thing she wanted to do was whine about it and how she couldn't relive it, because that would sour a beautiful memory. No, that's not what she wanted from this. Exhaling softly, she glanced back up at Aideen from her new spot on the ground, a little of the exuberance gone, replaced with a sobriety. "It was never like this with Duck's father," she admitted, and just the mention of him took her mood in a different turn. If her mystery man was everything light and carefree and merry, Wolesh was his polar opposite. But she was removed enough from his memory not to let mentioning her dead mate sour her manner, and she smiled to wash away the sense of bitterness which could have otherwise taken root. This wasn't meant to be a pity-party either. "How did you - how did you know Miccah was the one?"
Aideen Athesila It was impossible not to laugh at Bella's antics, the theatricality reminding Aideen of a younger version of herself, poking fun at her siblings and stirring up trouble. Now she was the one, grinning down at the darker wolfess, shaking her head lightly at the show. She remembered those to torrent feelings from herself, though that had to be 3 years ago now; Such a long time..! A lifetime, at least if you counted in what had happened since. But back then it had been the wildest thing she'd ever experienced, her first crush. Belladonna was a lot older than that foolish child, and with much more experience when it came to men; Or so one would think… As if she'd heard the thought, the sprawled woman looked up, a more thoughtful expression on her face. Aideen widened her eyes at the admission, quirking a brow; No..? But she stayed silent, letting Bella turn over the thoughts in peace and decide on her own what she wanted to share. In the end, what she did say surprised the vixen, her head jolting and ears folding back for a second, taken aback. Whether it was a skilled attempt at changing the subject or simply a quick shift in the younger wolves mind, Aideen couldn't know, nor did she waste time pondering it. Instead she tilted her head, puckering her lips as she mused: "You know, I didn't. Not for a long time…" She bit her lip, looking down at Bella. Now she was the one considering exactly how much to share. But there was no point in this if she wasn't honest, and while it was old scars that were still sore, it was not something she wanted to hide; Not from a friend. So she took a deep breath, lowering herself down to lie across from the other, confidingly. "When I first came t the Woodlands I had someone else with me… I was in love with him, I even thought of him as my mate!" She snorted a little at her own silliness; Too young to know any better… Copper eyes drifted from the chocolate woman to the surrounding trees, gazing into the past; "But I lost him, he wandered off… He had a habit of getting hurt, perhaps this time it was so bad that he couldn't make his way back to me…" She sighed. For a long time she'd hated Coal for hurting her so bad, but those feelings were so far behind her now. When she turned back to Belladonna there was a smile on her lips again, small but genuine, and her voice was light as she continued her story: "I was down for a long time after that, I thought it was the end of the world!" Her eyes twinkled a little at that, that dramatic flair; "The thing is, it wasn't. The world kept going, so I had to follow. @Miccah, he was… The Woodlands have had a lot of losses, wolves who've disappeared or died… He was one of the few that hung on, like me. That made him a close friend, someone I could trust you know," Her voice was hushed and warm as she thought back, remembering those first sparks between them; "I didn't think it was more than that in the beginning, it was so different from what I'd tried before, what I thought love was!" She shook her head, looking back it was so clear, but she'd been young and blind. Looking to meet Bella's bright eyes, Aideen scooted a little closer, unable to resist a bit of dramatics herself; "I was just starting to figure it out when the storms started, stupid me in my soul searching wandered right out into one and got swept away. I spend several months up north, trying to find my way back. When I did, he was the one who found me, I think that's when I knew I loved him, not just a wild crush, but for real. Then he went with me across the mountain, to visit Iopah, even though he disagreed with me. I realized then, that I always wanted him by my side, for all that hard stuff where I needed his support. And for the good stuff too." The petite wolf smiled sheepishly at her friend, recognizing how long her story had been. Perhaps she'd needed to get some things out in the open too; I'm liking this girlfriend thing! But this was supposed to be about Bella, and there was a question the alphess had long wanted to ask, which seemed appropriate in this context; "Duck's father, what was that like, then?" Word count: 777 Thoughts ”Speech” |
Bella shifted herself into a more comfortable position, though she remained on the ground, looking up at Aideen as she began to share her story. It surprised Bella to learn that Aideen had not only had a past amour, but had joined the Woodlands so long ago - at least, the timescale was implied by how Aideen seemed to wordlessly imply a lot had changed since then - but she wasn't sure why that should be a shock. Nina clearly trusted the woman enough to pass on her position, so Aideen must have been a long-time and firm member of the pack for some time. Feeling privileged to hear the tale, Bella made sure she was the perfect audience, attentive and responsive, ears flicking back in sympathy when Aideen's lover disappeared for the last time, nodding when the Athesila talked about Miccah's trustworthiness, smiling when she spoke of how she came to realise her feelings for the man. Bella liked Miccah very well, and did not doubt that he made an excellent mate and father, dependable until the end. In a lot of ways, of course, he couldn't have been more different to Bella's mystery man... but that hardly diminished the love between the Athesila pair. Bella was endlessly envious of their good fortune in finding each other.
The story came to an end and Bella sat in comfortable silence reflecting on it, content and happy with how she felt they had come just that little bit closer. Perhaps she did not pose more questions because she half expected Aideen to ask exactly what she did. Softly, the chocolate woman exhaled, imagining that any toxicity associated with having to talk about him could be expelled at easily. It would be good to talk about it, she knew. Still, it was something she liked to deal with these days by acting as though it were not real, or too far in the past to dwell on; Duck was doing so much better than she could have ever hoped, and the man was dead, it was not as though anything was going to come back to haunt them other than her own memories.
"It was... I could say it was a mistake. I was young when we met, very young, and my family was - it was a mess. I felt isolated and torn between worlds and... I suppose, looking back, I can say he preyed on that. On my ignorance. He reminded me of my brother. Strong headed and forceful, but where Datura had always been childish, unable to control himself, he - Wolesh was... older, more mature. Composed. Calm. He appeared so sensible and put-together and I needed that, needed direction and purpose, and he gave it to me. He... he did save my life." But at the expense of someone else's. "I owed him and... I loved him."
It was a far cry from the sweet story Aideen had shared, just from tone of voice alone, but Bella tried to keep the pain at bay, tried to just talk, matter-of-fact, because it felt strangely relieving to just lay it bare. Even if she was withholding many details, and fully intended to carry on doing so. Some things were not so easily talked about.
"The thing is," she continued, quiet, and her gaze dropped to her paws, "if I say it was a mistake, he was a mistake, then I would have never had my children, and..." Aideen had never met Staleek or Tauza or Ahkna. Had never seen how they all took after their father way too much. But she knew Duck, and that boy, precious and sweet though he was, bore the marks from his patriarch all too much, Bella saw it every day. The poor child was not a nervous wreck for no good reason. And Bella had seen a familiar temper flair behind his distant grey eyes more than a handle of times...
But she did not say any of that. Snorting quietly, as though at her own folly, she looked back up to Aideen. "Well, you know Duck. The world is a brighter place for him, my world, so I will not say it was a mistake. But I won't pretend to regret that the man died."
Aideen Athesila She certainly hadn't meant to go on like that, though, she had to admit, it felt awfully nice to tell the story like this. looking back over her past, she felt even more blessed; She had gone through a lot in her days, but she had gained so very much more. Still, Bella had come to her with a story of her own, she seemed happy to listen, engaging animatedly in the tale, but the alphess hadn't meant to turn the attention on herself. Her cheeks went warm, copper eyes shifting down in embarrassment. It didn't seem to have bothered her dark comrade however, for a moment they shared relaxed silence, when Aideen looked back up to find genuine warmth in the gamboge eyes. She smiled softly, nodding to herself, telling the story from end to end had felt good. So when Bella slowly began to speak, the petite vixen settled in to repay the favor. She lowered herself down to lie, much like the bigger wolf did, head thus turned up at the other, ears perked. The tale she got was far different from her own, and not at all what she expected. It was clear that the younger woman had a hard time getting it out, and at first Aideen thought it was the pain of loss that tainted her memory. But as the story went on, she began to suspect it might be something else entirely. Her brows furrowed as she listened, smile dying on her lips as she watched the changes on Bella's face. She'd made mistakes before, Cole in many ways was one, but, as much as she had hurt and hated when he left her, she couldn't imagine ever speaking of him with this amount of animosity. Though Belladonna's voice remained calm, her words betrayed her feelings, and every so often emotion would flash behind her eyes. In the end the conclusion was that it had all been for good in its way, a testament which Aideen could easily get behind; She'd never met Bella's other children, but Duckweed alone was a joy every mother could be proud of. The last drop of poison was shocking though, enough to make the leader's eyes widen. Again a clear sign that Wolesh's indiscretions had been infinitely greater than what she herself had ever experienced. It was something though that she could hardly imagine, a bitterness so deep; Towards someone she once loved… Allowing the silence to stretch between them, just like before, the queen considered the severity of what had to lie hidden in her subordinates past, in between the lines of what she'd just said. She considered asking how the man had died, but decided that she'd dug deep enough for now, leaving any questions for another time. Instead she conjured up the softest of smiles, reaching out to gently touch her friend's muzzle with her own. "This is why we get second chances," She said lowly, looking to meet Bella's eyes. For the first time since meeting her, Aideen actually felt older than her friend, able to look back on a life of ups and downs, that had in the end all worked out; "Perhaps your mystery man is yours, or if not another will come along. But don't be scared to explore it, or you'll never know for sure." Her voice remained soft, but as she spoke her smile grew, and she winked at her companion at the end, easing the weight of her words. Word count: 582 Thoughts ”Speech” |