Poison Path I won't say I'm in ____

OOC comments here!

OOC! @Kajika

------------------------------------------------------

Word Count: 221

Tagg had been feeling light for days. Since he’d moved into the pack den, he saw @Moonshadow almost every morning.  The russet man could no longer deny it was definitely her that had had caused the change in him, and it was time he faced it.  He was afraid to talk to her about it, though.  For him to finally open up to somebody the way he was opening up to her and be rejected was a pain he wasn’t sure he would be able to endure while residing in the same pack, and he loved Fallen Tree Cove.

He needed somebody to talk to.

With a slight huff, Tagg went off in search of Kajika.  He considered him a friend, and goodness knows he needed one right now.  He headed first towards the lake, hoping he would be able to find him there.  When he didn’t, the scarred man decided to head up towards Poison Path.  Failing that he would try the hot springs.

Fortunately, the beta’s scent met his nose as he approached the path.  He chuffed to make his presence known before approaching the dark man.  “Do you have any time to talk?” Tagg asked after greeting him.  He wasn’t even sure what he would say – admitting such things out loud made them impossibly real – but he needed some companionship.

"Speech"  Thought

l

Too much time, Kajika knew he had been spending more time in position path then he should be. He had work to do for the pack and with the snow on the ground still there really wasn't the time for him to be dwelling on things that couldn't be changed. Yet here he was much as he had been multiple times in the past months and only recently more often. His large black paws seemed to carry him to this place of their own accord. His gaze drifted over the patches of Nightshade that still had yet to sprout anew to signify that spring had arrived. Reaching out with his nose he searched for scents that had long since faded and we're now gone.

How much time had passed since he had arrived on the path that day he wasn't sure but as he looked toward the sky the sun said it been awhile. Morning had past and it was now into the afternoon, he needed to get on with some hunting. Lately though even that didn't hold the same appeal as it had before he'd started visit the path, lake, or hot springs on a more regular basis. Still he did as much as he could for his pack but he felt taking a little more time for himself to figure out how to get past this was needed.

His ear twitched as the chuff reached him, his head turning to find one of their newest editions, Tagg. It seemed the man had searched him out, how else would he have known to look in this place when there were so many other places the beta could be. A smile crossed his features as he pushed his previous thoughts to the back of his mind until he was once again alone. “Hello Tagg,” he greeted the man, “Of course I have time, What is it that you need to talk about?” He asked concern clear in his tone. As always his pack members came before himself and even if he didn't have the time he would make the time.

(This post was last modified: Jan 21, 2017, 05:30 PM by Kajika.)

Please see OOC Profile for OOC Preferences, Thank you.

OOC!  

------------------------------------------------------

Word Count: 210

Tagg seemed to have interrupted some deep thoughts, but whatever it was the beta was quick to make sure his subordinate knew he was available.  That was another reason Tagg liked this man so much; he was friendly, and he took the time to help everyone else.  He resolved not to take too much of his time; at least not without returning the favor.

That resolution died before he even got his first words out. “I suppose I just need a friend.” The russet male sighed, sitting beside Kajika. He didn’t know why he was up here; Tagg himself preferred the hot springs or the lake to this path, but to each his own he supposed.  “There’s something that’s been nagging at the back of my mind for a while, and I’m not sure how…” how to say it. He finished in his thoughts.  

He shook his head, trying to shake away his nervousness and doubts.  The emotions piling up inside him were multitudinous and were begging to break free, but as usual the veteran kept them squashed down. He snorted.  “I guess I have forgotten what it’s like to feel anything positive.” His brow furrowed.  “Well, at least I’m pretty sure it’s positive.” He wouldn’t know until…

“It’s about Moon.” He finally sighed.

"Speech"  Thought

l

Kajika felt that if Tagg had come this far to seek him out for a talk then it must be pretty important which was even more reason to give the man the time he asked for. Whatever was on his friend's mind Kajika did hope that he could help even if it was in just a small way it might be enough to help ease Tagg's mind. He would do what he could for the subordinate but he hoped it would be more than just something small. He gave the man a chance to start, get whatever he needed to off his chest.

Kajika's ears had turned toward Tagg as he gave his full attention and nodded when he stated he needed a friend, “You've come to the right place then,” he said giving the man a friendly bump when Tagg had taken a seat next to him. The man spoke again about having something on his mind, it seemed Kajika wasn't the only one fighting an inner battle. His sentence dropped off before he could finish but Kajika though he had an idea, “Well we can talk about it and hopefully that will help ease your worries.” The dark man knew all too well what it was like to have something nagging at the back of his mind.

Whatever was bothering Tagg seemed to be bringing him quite a bit of distress, Kajika was concerned for his friend. He was curious what could be bothering him so but Tagg seemed the type that needed the time to tell what was bothering him so Kajika waited. “Well you've been through alot and not all good so I don't think that's wrong for you to feel that way. Positive is very good, you deserve to have something positive.” At least that was what Kajika thought until Tagg dropped the positive thing on him.M/p>

Kajika's gaze snapped to the russet man next to him his brow raised, “What about her?” He questioned curiously his tone remaining calm despite what he was feeling inside.

(This post was last modified: Jan 21, 2017, 06:10 PM by Kajika.)

Please see OOC Profile for OOC Preferences, Thank you.

OOC!  

------------------------------------------------------

Word Count: 223

Tagg appreciated Kajika’s support. His words did calm the man, though his distress was more of an anxious nature than one of actual fear.  He was worried he would mess up. Not only was he afraid to ruin the friendship he’d developed with Moon, he was worried he’d disrupt the dynamic of the pack.  He was worried she didn’t feel the same way – though he wasn’t sure why, as her behavior indicated otherwise.  He just couldn’t comprehend that someone could care about him of all wolves.  He, who was so imperfect, did not deserve someone as amazing as she was.

The beta’s inquiry about her held something hidden.  Of course he’s concerned about her; she’s been his pack mate longer than she’s been mine, and she was his alpha for a while. He thought.  He debated just passing it off as a queer feeling and thanking the beta for his time, but something stopped him.

He needed to say it, out loud.  He needed to make it real, otherwise this turmoil inside him might cause him to explode.  And she deserved that, didn’t she? She deserved for him to at least be able to admit it. He shouldn’t hide away behind his walls.

Steadying himself, Tagg took a deep breath and looked Kajika in the eye.  “I think I’m in love with her.”

"Speech"  Thought

(This post was last modified: Jan 21, 2017, 06:21 PM by Tagg.)

l

Kajika's concern for what bothered theam next to him grew as he continued to speak and then he was happy for him to have found something positive in his life. Everyone needed a positive thing when so many other things could be so negative. Kajika felt it kept them grounded and hopeful that things could and would get better in the end. All of those thoughts were forgotten when Tagg said it was about Moonshadow and the terrible sinking feeling almost overwhelmed him.

And so the topic of this conversation was Moonshadow. Kajika didn't know if he wanted to hear what the russet man had to say I'm regards to her. The girl he had brought into the pack, his student and friend who he cared about more than any of them knew. He swallowed all of that though, what else could he do? Tagg had come to him with this and he had said he would try to help. It still didn't help the tightness that had developed in his chest, he shook himself internally to keep his calmness.

The question now what what about her exactly did he have to say, in the back of his mind Kajika had his suspicions. Which he chose to ignore until Tagg confirmed it, the man thought he was in love with her. His lip curled slightly off his canine before he regained control of himself once more, “When did this development happen?” He asked keeping the calmness him his tone, <“Why do you think you're in love with her?” Though he didn't really want to have this conversation he had to get past what he was feeling and be a friend to both Moonshadow and Tagg.

(This post was last modified: Jan 21, 2017, 06:56 PM by Kajika.)

Please see OOC Profile for OOC Preferences, Thank you.

OOC! Poor Kajika!

------------------------------------------------------

Word Count: 248

Tagg was glad when Kajika didn’t automatically dismiss his statement; it helped to put him at east.  He didn’t miss the curl in his lip, however, and Tagg couldn’t help but feel a little… betrayed may have been the word.  The sneer didn’t last long, however, and the russet man almost wondered if he’d seen it at all.

“I’m not entirely sure…” He tried to think back.  “It was probably when we went hunting not long after I came back.  She was so open and friendly, and she doesn’t treat me any differently because of my scars or my eye.  She wasn’t shy in asking questions about them, and…” Tagg swallowed, remembering the conversation.  There had been something different even then; he’d been far more open with her about his past than he had been with anyone since Rift.  But even his first friend in the pack hadn’t captured his attentions the way @Moonshadow had.  “I feel so much more comfortable around her, like all the bad memories and just fall away. Things are easy.”

Even just the memories of the two of them playing, and him teaching her that pounce, and getting stuck in the snow… they brought a smile to his face.  He could already feel himself relaxing.  Why should he feel ashamed?  Why was he even worried? “I take it back.” He hummed.  “I don’t think I’m in love with her. I know I am.”

"Speech"  Thought

l

The curl of his lip had been an uncontrolled reaction which he corrected quickly, Tagg had come to him without any knowledge of how he felt toward Moonshadow. Deciding it was best to remain detached for the time being he heard the man out asking questions he felt was important. At the end of the day Moonshadow was his friend despite how deep his feelings for her may or may not run he had a duty to her to make sure she was happy and wasn't hurt. Tagg’s answers to the questions would be very important to him trusting the russet wolf could take care of her if she held the same feelings.

As Tagg spoke about when he had discovered his feelings for Moonshadow and why he felt as he did Kajika listened intently. “It sounds like she’s had quite the impression on you but that's her very friendly and accepting. It doesn't surprise me to hear she wasn't afraid to ask about your scars, she's very inquisitive.” Kajika was all too familiar with Moonshadows friendly and welcoming nature. He also knew she wasn't shy in asking questions she wanted to know the answers to as she always did in their lessons. The dark man was brought back to thinking about Des and how she had made him feel. “It's important to find someone who can make you feel that way. Does she feel the same?” He was curious to know this since Moonshadow hadn't mentioned anything to him about having feelings for Tagg.

Of course then the russet man had to revise his earlier statement with one that brought the tightening feeling back to his chest. “Have you told her?”

(This post was last modified: Jan 21, 2017, 07:47 PM by Kajika.)

Please see OOC Profile for OOC Preferences, Thank you.

OOC!  

------------------------------------------------------

Word Count: 239

His beta remaining carefully neutral, Tagg had a hard time gauging his thoughts on the matter.  He did have the vague feeling he was being tested somehow, but that was likely just his paranoia playing up.  It was something he was still struggling to get over.

“Does she feel the same?”

That brought Tagg back to how he’d felt before, uncertainty preying on his mind.  “I don’t know… Sometimes I think- but how could she?” His ears twitched back, head drooping slightly.  “How could anyone feel like this about me? I’m a mess.” He could think of a whole list of reasons why someone like Moon wouldn’t fall for him: his defensiveness, his scars, his half-blindness, his paranoia… He once again cursed the war that had kept him away for so long.  He’d never expected it to follow him home, and now… now it was just making things even harder for him.  

When asked if he’d told her, his gaze shot back up to meet Kajika’s, but only for a moment.  It quickly flickered back down in shame.  “No.  I haven’t.  I had to- I wasn’t-”   He took a shuddering breath before finding the right words. “I didn’t want to jump to things.  I didn’t – don’t – want to put her in a position that might make her uncomfortable.”   Steeling his resolve, the russet man looked back up.  “I will though. Now that I… I will.  She deserves that much.”

"Speech"  Thought

l

The more he talked with his subordinate he couldn't help feeling that he did truly care about Moonshadow. His biggest concern of course was his ebony student and friend. Her feelings in the matter were more important than the turmoil that was going on inside his own mind. If Tagg could give her happiness then who was he to deny her that, what kind of friend would he be? That's what they were anyway...Friends.

Kajika waited on edge to hear what the russet man had to say about how Moonshadow felt, part of him hoped that she didn't feel the same. That was however the wrong thought to have. He didn't have to wait long to hear what Tagg thought regarding the feelings of the girl in question. “You won't know how she feels for certain unless you ask her,” he suggested again being reminded of how things had been with h and Des. He'd never been sure of how she felt about and he'd never got the chance to ask. “You shouldn't think like that,” his voice a little more stern, “Just because you've been through alot and have your scars doesn't mean you aren't worthy of someone like her. It means your a fighter and have lived your life.” That was important for the subordinate to hear because regardless of how Tagg felt about Moonshadow this wasn't about that. It was about the man understanding that his scars didn't define him and that he had survived regardless of what had happened to him.

Kajika may not like the idea of it all but he did feel that Moonshadow had the right to know how Tagg felt. She had the right to share her feelings or tell Tagg that she wasn't interested if that was the case. Since she hadn't said anything to him Kajika couldn't offer any affirmation of her feelings toward him. All he could do was offer what support he could and hope it turned out well for them both. Kajika nodded understanding where his friend was coming from but in the end Tagg had to tell her. “I don't know how she feels about you but if you have the sense that she feels the same you have to talk to her because this isn't something that should go unsaid. Trust me when I tell you not knowing is worse.” Kajika them nodded when Tagg said she deserved for him to tell her, “Yes, she does deserve that much and more.”

(This post was last modified: Jan 21, 2017, 09:05 PM by Kajika.)

Please see OOC Profile for OOC Preferences, Thank you.