Oak Tree Bend don't have direction

For @Serach the night of the rank challenge, after Aponi has spoken to Lila and Kyna 

Aponi was absolutely exhausted. The adrenaline from the afternoon had completely worn out and was replaced by a fatigue that emanated from her very bones. Kyna was gone, Lila was furious with the others, Spieden and her pups, Alastor, gone, who knew what else would crumble. Whatever the mother had expected her rise to the thrown to be it certainly had not been anything like this. Unfortunately despite the darkness that shrouded the woods, moon blocked out by the fog that seemed thicker than ever, the day wasn't done yet.

His scent hadn't been hard to follow, despite twisting and turning throughout the territory. It crossed with others at time but eventually it had faded until it was alone, returning to the spot that Aponi should have expected he would be at. The Aquila had no idea just why the area meant so much to him, that his mother had been buried here but she knew this is where he went to when a lot was on his mind.

Pushing forward through the snow that had recently been trampled down she approached him from behind, heart dropping at the sight of his pale form. How had this all spiraled so far out of control. She held no remorse at her new rank but everything that had transpired since had left a bad taste in her mouth for her friend. Suddenly unsure of what to say Aponi sat beside his and pushed her muzzle into the soft fur at his neck, ignoring the sting of her wound which had finally stopped bleeding but ached all the same.

Serach had lost track of time. Barely moving, he had laid at the base of the tree where they had laid his mother to rest so many years ago. He had been there since @Sahalie had sucker-punched him in the gut, not once, but twice. Unable to bring himself to rise and face the mess that he and Aponi had created, he simply laid there. There was a part of him that knew he needed to rise and undertake some kind of damage control, but a much louder part of him was screaming, What's the point? Spieden and he might have been the leaders of the Bend, but Sahalie and @Triell had been the fabric that were holding it together. With both of their departures, the pieces were rapidly falling apart. He had tried to convince Sahalie to stay, no matter how poor of an attempt it might have been, and had been dramatically unsuccessful. Hardly a motivating force to rouse him from his pain to try and persuade any of the others to stay.

But there was somebody else who absolutely deserved and needed his support, and it was for her that Serach took the small step of lifting his head at the sound of approaching footsteps. Ear twitching, he turned his head ever so slightly, but he did not need to see to know who it was. The warmth of her body next to his was a strange, but welcome feeling. Leaning into her, seeking comfort from her presence, he did not speak at first. He had let her seek out Kyna and Lila alone, but he would not - could not - let her brave this downfall on her own, no matter how miserable he was feeling. He had always suffered from a very self-centered perspective (loss was only measured in how it impacted him), but that wasn't something he could afford to do anymore.

Despite the stiffness in his body, he pushed himself up so he was sitting next to her. Turning to look, he met her blue grey eyes for a moment before dropping his gaze to the wound on her muzzle. The blood was drying, but it would leave a scar. Leaning forward, he tentatively licked at the skin around the wound. The pack's only healer was on her way to the borders, or maybe already gone, and it was the best he knew how to do in the moment. "Are you okay?" It was an absurd question, in the circumstances, but it was all he knew to ask in the quiet. "And Kyna and Lila?" He was almost afraid to ask, but the time to be afraid was over no matter how tempting it was to succumb to its embrace.

The sight of his pale form almost blending into the snow was almost enough to make her pause in approaching him. Serach was obviously and justifiably upset by everything that had happened, every inch of his posture screamed defeat. But before her paws could slow or stop a fire lit in her belly that drove her forward. He deserved better than this, better than the betrayal and abandonment he had been shown today. Aponi would not let him or the Bend be defeated, over her dead body would she let the pack crumble to extinction.

Despite the burning in her veins the woman was gentle when she pressed her muzzle into his neck, is scent filling her nostrils and comforting her. He sat and Aponi was thankful for his silence in that moment, the way his body pressed to hers, that was enough of the comfort that she needed. Wincing slightly as Serach's tongue washed over her wound she licked at the bottom of his chin, an attempt at conveying that she was alright. The woman wasn't sure what the state of the medical den was at but she would find her way there before the end of the night. Naira might be a bitch but she had taught her daughter enough about herbs that she could get by to treat a little scratch.

The silence couldn't go on forever, no matter how nice it could have been. Aponi's ears dropped back at his question and her gaze lowered until she was staring hard at his chest rather than his face. Of all the abandonments she had faced today her teenaged daughter's had cut the deepest. In the end their relationship had never been able to be repaired and @Kyna had left with the others. Sighing the silver head shook ever so slightly, "Kyna left, Lila is staying but she's furious with the others. I don't think she really understands." Aquila blood ran thick in the darker girl, and Aponi couldn't blame her for being angry. Everything that had happened today was enough to leave the mother feeling her own shade of furious.

When Aponi winced at his touch, Serach's tongue hesitated for just a split second before he continued to clean the wound. Every movement was a reminder that had had been wrong, and the pain and anger he was feeling was starting to be overwhelmed by an even greater feeling of guilt. How could he have been so cavalier with Aponi about Spieden's suspected willingness to step down? Serach might be wearing the wounds of that incorrect assumption on his heart, but Aponi would wear it on her face forever.

The negative shake of the silver head he admired so much only fed the beast of guilt growing in his chest. His eyes grew wide as she told him the worst. He had been observant enough to know that Kyna was not particularly close to Aponi, but after witnessing Sahalie commit herself to the life of the lone wolf just so she could follow her mother despite the latter's onset of madness, he couldn't understand why Kyna would choose to do the opposite. As for Lila, he could only empathize with the confusion and anger the poor girl was feeling.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, angry that those pathetic excuse for words could not truly bring comfort to the situation. "I don't know why Spieden reacted the way she did...it was like something snapped...I should have known, should have been able to protect you from that." Would she have listened if he had warned her away from the idea? Would he have really wanted her to? No, the honest part of his brain reminded him as he nuzzled her cheek.

Leaning back once more, he took a deep breath. Studying his paws for a moment before continuing. "Sahalie followed me here, after the challenge. She's leaving the Bend to go with Spieden. Apparently Triell and Naira are going too, although Sahalie didn't think they were going with Spieden." He huffed and swiped at the snow at his feet with a paw. "I know how Lila is feeling...I don't understand what the fuck is going on either."

@Serach

Even in the dimness of the evening Aponi could see the anger in his eyes, and what was worse the guilt that clouded them. At least, at least he wasn't upset. Anger the woman could understand, guilt even, but sadness was not an emotion she knew how to comfort. Feeling his nose press into her cheek the mother smiled despite the situation at hand, "It's not your fault, and I wouldn't have let you protect me. You should know me well enough by now to know that I'm no damsel in distress." The words were accompanied with a small chuckle. She was a lot of things but the Aquila was never dainty or unable to take care of herself.

The brief lightness of the moment quickly dissipated at his next words and the smile fell away to be replaced with a hard line. Hackles rose slightly as the blows just kept on coming, "Mother was never particularly keen on staying through hard times, she's more likely to turn tail and run for greener pastures than work for anything. She left the pack she last led with her children in tow because of a war one of her member started with another pack and because of it my father was murdered. The next time I saw her after that she was cuddled up with Triell." The icy blue eyes were hard as she stared at his chest, retelling this part of her history almost devoid of emotion other than the anger simmering beneath the surface.

Suddenly she felt she could take sitting still no more and she stood, walking a few paces away and staring at the oak tree this pack had been built for. Whirling around there was fire in her eyes, "You know what? Fuck them. Fuck all of them, the ones who can't stay when things are hard or are changing. We don't need them, as the pack always says we thrive regardless." Softening slightly Aponi padded closer, dipping her head and pressing her crown into Serach's neck, "We don't need them, we will build something stronger than even the oak we are named for."

Sorry, this is a little all over the place. <3

Her laughter was a bright light in an otherwise bleak darkness, and despite himself, Serach smiled. His tail gave a half thump against the ground in agreement that Aponi was certainly not a damsel in distress. But that wasn't the point, and tilting his head to press his forehead against her face, he hoped she understood what had truly meant.

The moment of lightheartedness was short-lived, however, and her chuckles were replaced by hard words. Sitting up straight, he listened attentively, his mind alternating between connecting the dots and asking more questions. He had, apparently, bet his whole life on the black and silver woman in front of him and yet there was still so much about her he hadn't known. Black lips parted into a quiet "oh" as his brain made the connection that had been hinted at throughout their conversations over the past six months - Aponi was Naira's daughter. Sahalie had held similar levels of disdain for Triell's new mate, and Serach realized that perhaps there had been something more to that disdain than mere jealousy and misunderstanding. But it didn't explain why Naira and Triell had felt like they needed to leave now, and his brow furrowed as he debated asking.

But before he could, Aponi rose to her feet and he decided that it would need to be a question for another day. He rose with her, but did not follow as she paced away and looked up at the great tree. When she next turned to face him, there was fire in her voice and in her eyes. She spoke with a confidence and determination that stirred Serach's heart, and he found himself nodding along in agreement. "Fuck them," he murmured, his voice quieter but no less determined as he returned her embrace. "I'd take you over the whole lot of them. Every day, every time. They don't know what they've done...what they're going to miss out on, but I do. And fuck 'em because they don't deserve it." Let them chase after Spieden and her madness or run away from the hard times because they were scared; they would crumble under the first signs of distress. And while there was a pang of guilt and regret for the innocent parties involved - Mako, Marina, Treyah, and Reiko - Serach knew he could not protect them. At best, he hoped that their parents were at least honest about why the pups had been pulled from the warmth of their dens and their homes, but as he considered Aponi's face, he knew it wasn't likely.

"I think I would follow you to the ends of the earth, you know that," he said after a moment of quietly contemplating those familiar blue gray eyes. He couldn't do anything for those other pups anymore, but he could and would absolutely provide for Lila to the best of his ability. "We're going to thrive together. You, me, and Lila. And we'll have help - Ice and Lena at least will still be here in the morning, and perhaps some of the others yet. And if not? Well, fuck em." He cracked a grin of his own. Perhaps it was time to update their pack motto?

Blue eyes watched as Serach registered what she had hinted about previously but had never explicitly said; Naira was her blood. Thankfully despite the way his mouth opened into a small 'oh' of surprise he spared her of any questions and for that she was thankful. At least for now, the Aquila knew that this was a conversation that would be held between them in the future. As it was there were more important things at paw, namely everything that had transpired that day.

Serach didn't shy away from the anger in her eyes the way someone would have and in that moment Aponi felt something stir within her. This was a man she was proud to stand beside, as equals. Neither one of them hiding from what was hard but embracing it and fighting through until they came out the other side stronger. Suddenly he was draped around her returning her embrace wholeheartedly and murmuring in her ear. Heart thudded against her chest in that moment, "You're worth more to me than all of them put together." Pressing her nose further into his thick coat she sighed, of everything that had come out of this maybe this was the most surprising of all. Not since Mercy had she felt like this, but that had been so different, so naive. This time she was an adult as was Serach, not just children playing pack as if the world would just hand them their dreams free of cost.

Suddenly she pulled back far enough that she could look the man in the eyes as he spoke of the three of them, not just the duo but of her daughter. @Lila was lucky to have such a good wolf in her life so willing to step into the paws of father figure, especially when he owed them nothing more than he had already given. All the anger Aponi had felt melted away and she pressed the bridge of her nose against the bottom of his chin, ignoring the way that it made her wound sting. Instead all she felt was thankful, and maybe the beginning, or if she was honest more than the beginning of something she was too afraid to name yet.

"And this spring siblings for Lila, Donatas, a legacy of everything we've fought for." The words were said tentatively, a tone that was strange for the silver woman who usually spoke with confidence. This however was a situation she had no experience with, and Serach was too high of a cost for her to bluff her way through it.

Of all the emotions that Serach had expected to feel on that day, the rising warmth in his chest was the least anticipated, but the most welcome. Aponi's warmth against him was more than just pleasant or comforting. It was a solid, physical reminder of the unexpected journey they had found themselves on and a reminder that at the end of the day, they had ended up here together. It meant more to him than he could ever put into words, so he instead he simply leaned into her and rested his head on her's, his skin tingling under his thick ruff where the heat of her breath snuck through. Her words only further stoked the fire that was building within him, and his brain began to formulate the right words he could say back to her to she could know what it was he feeling.

And then she pulled away to look him in the eyes. The cold winter air snuck in between them, and it took all his self restraint to not immediately follow her and press himself against her once more. But she spoke, and the words kept them solid. Distantly, as though in a dream, he could feel his lower jaw drop and his eyes grow wide. "And this spring siblings for Lila, Donatas, a legacy of everything we've fought for." In the same out-of-body distant way, he felt her muzzle against the bottom of his chin, pushing his mouth closed (although he couldn't be sure if it was intentional or not). Swallowing his nerves away, he did the only thing that made sense - which was to lick her forehead in a wolf's kiss and then attempt to speak in coherent sentences.

"I would...I would love that," he said in earnest, his voice more of a nervous squawk than a charming croon. "It would be an honor...if you'll have me, of course." He had only begun to process what Aponi's rise to leadership would mean and he hadn't had quite grasped what that would imply if they both made it to spring. Behind him, his tail began to wag, swiping the snow away.

"I love you."

A lynx has left behind the remains of a deer. +5 Health

Aponi wasn't sure what reaction she was hoping for let alone what she was expecting but seeing his jaw drop and the whites of Serach's eyes certainly wasn't it. Luckily she had ducked her muzzle back into his chin so she could hide her face should this come down to a rejection. God help them all if she was rejected by the pale man now. Her heart pounded unflatteringly in her chest for what seemed like the longest moment of her life, longer than anything else she had ever been part of. It seemed as if he would never say anything or move in anyway and they would be frozen here forever in this moment in-between it all.

The small kiss on her forehead was enough to melt away all her nerves and left her body trembling with emotion instead. The tone of his voice brought an earnest smile to the silver woman's face, something about him had had her smiling since their first border patrol. It wasn't often that Aponi was so outwardly warm and affectionate other than with her daughters but Serach had her feeling something, different than she felt with anyone else. She had been so afraid to say it or even feel it but as soon as his words were out in the open she couldn't control herself.

"I love you too Serach."

Then they were out there in the open and nothing could ever take them back. Only, Aponi didn't want to take them back, she didn't want them hidden inside her anymore where even she couldn't say them. She wanted them in the open and in her head and in his heart. More than anything she wanted to be in his heart and now she knew she was, and that was worth a thousand desertions from subordinates. Her voice was less nervous now, steady despite the way her legs trembled with overwhelming happiness, "Maybe if our children are Donatas... I should be a Donata too?"