Hearthwood River the world is out to get me

Lorcan had finally reached a point where he could no longer hide his frustrations. 

Firstly, there was the utter betrayal by the wolf he trusted most. Craw’s departure from the monadnock, and the lowlands altogether, has spelled the bitter end to their relationship.

Secondly, he had returned home to the shock of finding out that the woman that he most adored had settled down with the male that brandished the higher rank. That revelation had left the agouti male truly devastated to say the least, yet he still found himself missing her every day.

Thirdly, he had found out that his innocent fling, with someone who he considered to be no more than a friend if he was honest, actually came with consequences. The idea of having pups was something that the young male was still getting used to, but he felt like if nothing else, he had done the responsible thing and moved packs to be with the expectant mother.

Additionally, the male had discovered that life within Hearthwood was not going to be easy, especially with wolves like Aleksei watching his every move and waiting for him to slip up and reveal his true relationship with Inna. Oh, and there was now also his brother, Laike, to contend with on top of that and–

Recently, things between him and Inna had been chaotic. The pressure of having to keep their secret whilst still trying to ensure the health and survival of their unborn pups had caused a strain in their awkward relationship and ultimately placed a wedge between them.

So, with all of these issues swirling through his mind, the agouti male done the only thing he could think of to try and release some his pent up negative emotions. Scavenging a large branch which had settled in the snow beneath one of the tall cedar trees, Lorcan promptly shifted down to sit in the snow to bite the gnarly piece of wood to shreds one snarling crunch at a time.

(This post was last modified: Apr 20, 2017, 03:41 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

Lilya had been making herself move around, and eat… the change in her body had made her lose her appetite, but it was nothing new to her. She’d been experienced with that symptom before… just for a different plague… not that carrying children was a plague to her, but the point remained. It was during one of these walks that she encountered one of their newest measures looking hot under the collar and very aggressively beating up a piece of wood. “What’d that tree ever do ya you?” She spoke placidly as she eyed him, keeping her distance but moving around him so she was facing his front. Something was bothering him.

It didn’t, after all, take a genius to figure out his expression.

The only question was what? Nothing overly stressful had happened in the River apart from her attack as far as she knew… this entire situation did not sit easy with her and she’d be damned if she walked away without first getting to the bottom of it. “What’s got you so worked up?” It wouldn’t be beneficial for anyone in the pack if he held it in until it bothered him this much. She didn’t know how they handled these situations in the Monadnock, and she really didn’t want to find out, but here, diffusion was the best policy.

There is a family of deer nearby. Hunt Opportunity

He’d been too preoccupied with violently tearing the large cedar branch to splinters to notice the dull sound of crunching footfall as @Lilya approached him through the snow. Russet ears perked up and his golden eyes widened as his head darted around, one half of the branch still clamped between his snarling jaws as he looked to the pregnant female in complete surprise. Immediately he felt his cheeks grow warm, entirely embarrassed that he had been caught, and he turned his head around awkwardly to then place the piece of wood back gently on the ground between his paws.

Glancing back up, russet ears pressed back against his head dismissively as he watched her circle in towards him. White brows furrowed as he pressed his paws nervously down upon the beaten branch, something he did in an attempt to compose himself and act like nothing was wrong which obviously failed. Lilya was undeterred and questioned him again. Lorcan sighed then, sides heaving as he placed his chin resignedly on his outstretched paws before his golden gaze flickered back up to the female. 

“A few things.” He admitted with a sighed, redirecting his gaze to the falling snow ahead. “Everything is just so messed up.” He continued, muzzle wrinkling slightly. “I’m fine though..” He lied, glancing up again to offer her his best attempt at a half-hearted smile.

(This post was last modified: Apr 20, 2017, 04:02 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

It was funny, for as much as Lilya had her own mental issues… she seemed to stumble upon everyone else when they were at trying times in their lives. Was that intentional? Was she some kind of ghost, fated to try and make things better for everyone but herself? She wasn’t sure, but that didn’t change the fact that one of her new packmates was bothered by something… she wasn’t leader anymore, no, that fell to Kisla… but she was still Second, and so she made it her business to find out why he was so agitated. Perhaps it was his former comments that made her hesitant to believe his latter… or maybe she was just stubborn. Or, maybe she wasn’t asinine and knew when she was being lied to.

“Yer ‘bout as fine as Ah am skinny.” She mused with a frown… evidently, she was not as skinny as she used to be, swollen sides and all to compliment the life growing, hopefully healthily, inside of her. “It ain’t gonna do ya any good ta hold it all in like this… ya don’t gotta talk to me ‘bout it but ya best talk ta someone before it eats ya up.” She added, the sparrow’s gaze remaining steady on the man in front of her, as if she was already trying to dissect what it might be from what very little she already knew about him.

“Yer ‘bout as fine as ah am skinny.”

Lorcan glanced back up to Lilya, his white brows rising and then furrowing as he noted the sarcasm in her words. His black tipped tail swayed awkwardly behind him, slowly curling up submissively towards the gap between his legs. Russet ears then pressed back against his head when the female warned him that it would not do him any favours to keep his problems locked away inside his mind, as he realised there was truth in that. He already felt like his mind was splitting under the pressure and if her warning was anything to go by, that would likely only get worse if he didn’t offload his worries to someone soon. @Lilya was as good as anyone, he supposed. At least, she hadn’t given him any reason to distrust her. 

With a heavy sigh, the agouti male slumped down into a sit, his shoulder falling forwards as his hung his head low, a frown etched upon his features. Where should he even begin? Lorcan remained silent for a long moment as he tried to collect his thoughts together. 

“I-I guess…” He inhaled sharply, eyes narrowing on the stark white snow which blanketed the ground beneath his paws. “I guess I’m still trying to adjust to pack life here, but at the same time, I don’t think I’ve gotten over some things that happened at Whitestone before I left.” He admitted, glancing up to Lilya for a moment with his ears pressed flat against is head as he searched for some kind of sign as how she felt about him mentioning his previous pack, considering her past experience with a certain individual. “I feel guilty for leaving, I feel like-like I let them all down, but..” His muzzle wrinkled as his golden gaze dropped back to the floor. “at the same time, I know I wouldn’t have been entirely happy if I’d stayed…I needed a fresh start.” He murmured. “But, we were all so close..” He continued, before he glanced back up to Lilya again. “I miss them so much.” He whined. 

Sighing again as he finally took a moment to catch his breath, Lorcan shuffled down to now lay spinx-like in the snow, his tail twitched awkwardly behind him, before he continued. “And, I only came to Hearthwood–” to be a father to my pups. “–because I already knew Lachesis and Inna, so I thought that could help me settle in a bit easier,” He explained, golden eyes glancing back up innocently to meet the sapphire blue gaze of Lilya, in the hope that she would believe him. “but then Aleksei came up to me right after I joined and accused me of knocking her up and now everything is just so messed up..” He whined again, a scowl strewn across his agouti features as he remembered back to his confrontation with the younger male. 

(This post was last modified: May 13, 2017, 11:47 AM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together

He might not have realized it, but she had spoken from experience when she of what holding everything in could do to a wolf. She’d been a mess; afraid of her own shadow… she couldn’t imagine it being much different on any other wolf who wore those colors. A frown creased on her maw when he started to explain, sitting down. She didn’t expect him to actually talk to her about it… she hardly knew him and he seemed to know Lachesis and Inna better. She half expected him to go to her mate the father of her children instead of her, but either way she would listen and help as best she could.

She understood the internal struggle he seemed to be facing, and sympathy hinted at his features. “It may not sound like it now… but it does get better. Over time, it gets easier n’ya find yerself growin’ closer to those ‘ere rather than who ya once were.” She wasn’t entirely sure she made sense. “Ah know the feelin’… what yer goin’ through… missin’ ‘em might never go away… but it gets easier ta bear over time.” She knew it better than most. She didn’t judge him for his attachment to the Monadnock. She didn’t expect him to forget his packmates – wolves he lived with for so long… he cared about them just as she’d cared about her family – hadn’t stopped her from leaving, despite how she disagreed with them, she still cared for them quite a bit.

Then he explained why he’d come to the Hearthwood and her ears perked… it made sense. She simply nodded in understanding… and then… Aleksei. She scoffed as her frown deepened. “Alexsei ‘as ‘is head up ‘is ass.” She offered sympathetically. “He’s tryin’ ta make up fer th’fact that he’s already abandoned us twice… n’he’s doin’ so by bein’ paranoid 'bout 'is sister n'who the father of 'er child is.” She’d experienced it herself, with his harsh criticisms of her… “Kisla ‘erself told me… he’s got no right ta do nothin’ if ya just pull yer weight, which yer already doin’ it looks like.” She considered having a pointed conversation with the Baranski herself… but she might reserve that conversation for @Lachesis or @Kisla to have with him instead.

As Lorcan glanced up, mid-speech, he caught the hint of sympathy which pulled at her features and it encouraged him to carry on and share his troubles with her. He felt his chest deflate gradually as the words poured out his mouth – like a heavy rain cloud, he’d held on to the weight for so long now that it felt good to finally let his emotions rain down on her. In the brief moment when he stopped speaking, for he needed to catch his breath, @Lilya took an opportunity to offer his some words of advice. 

Lorcan listened as he tried his best to quietly steady his breathing, golden eyes looking across to her longingly. The agouti male nodded his head slowly as she explained that eventually he would come to adore the wolves of Hearthwood just as much as he had the wolves of Whitestone. She was right, and he knew this, he’d experienced it all before. He thought back to when he had first joined Whitestone, and remembered how the wolves had avoided him at first, hardly offered him a word. After a while, though, he had eventually managed to get through to some of them and they came to accept him as one of their own. 

Lilya also told him that the pain and guilt he felt about leaving the monadnock, leaving Piety, would fade over time – but he may always miss them. His golden gaze dropped back to the ground. He didn’t know if he could deal with the thought of missing her forever. He whined again, russet ears flattening against the smooth curve of his skull, before he glanced back up to meet her sapphire gaze. “I hope so, I hate feeling like this..” He murmured quietly, before he did his best to offer her an attempt at a half-hearted smile. He appreciated her comforting words, even if they did little to ease his emotional pain. It was reassuring to know there was someone within Hearthwood, other than Inna, that he could confide in. 

When he mentioned his confrontation with Aleksei, Lorcan wasn’t entirely sure how Lilya would react, but he hoped she wouldn’t completely discredit him. The frown which pulled at her brows and the scoff which erupted from his mouth offered him some hope that she felt sympathetically towards him, but it wasn’t until she spoke that Lorcan really got to find out her opinion on the male. Golden eyes widened in surprise at her words and he looked up to her then, ears perking up in interest and his head tilting curiously to one side as she explained how he’d abandoned the pack twice – not something he expected to hear, given how protective he seemed to be over it – and that his behaviour, she believed, was his attempt to make up for what he did. 

It made sense, kind of. Pale brows furrowed as he looked awkwardly down at his paws. “I didn’t know that..” He murmured quietly, as he pondered over the younger male’s behaviour. “He also tried to forbid me from seeing any of the pups, but I refuse to listen to him.” He explained, looking back up to Lilya with a concerned expression as he glanced briefly towards her swollen sides. “Especially since Inna asked if I’d like to help her with the pups when they eventually come along…” He snorted, gaze falling despondently to her paws. “Although, she might not want me around after the argument we just had…” He admitted, his black-tipped tail swaying awkwardly behind him.

He looked back up to Lilya then, feeling a little embarrassed that he’d just spilled all his problems out on her. “S-sorry…you–you probably don’t want to hear about any of this, do you?” He said shyly, shifting his limbs up from underneath him as he went to stand. 

(This post was last modified: May 13, 2017, 04:55 PM by Lorcan.)

# P O R C A N

sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realise

how much they need to fall back together